RE: 2023 BMW XM | PH Review

[keepherlitbai]

I thought the big numbers came before the small in Roman numerals.

[Limpet]

I know styling is subjective, but who can honestly say they look at that and think "That is a damn fine looking car!"?

And 2,775kg!

[bennytheball]

keepherlitbai said:

I thought the big numbers came before the small in Roman numerals.

Indeed. To those that have no interest in BMW's M Division, the lack of colour for the three stripes in the XIIIM badge suggest that BMW wanted to call this thing the BMW thirteen thousand but didn’t know how to construct Roman numerals.

[Spiros115]

Firstly Im not saying this is a good looking car but it is nowhere near as offensive to my eyes as the iX. The proportions of this, although as subtle and stylish as a sledgehammer, at least work together. The iX is a just a complete oddity of lines, dimensions and that fake beaver face, it’s bizarre and something I simply couldn’t live with.

The biggest faux-pas with this seems to be the use of the ‘M’ brand which is the latest step in brand identity dilution. Maybe getting Alpina on board to take the role of big powerful luxury tourers will be the saviour of M as the sporting arm of BMW….

[Krikkit]

drpep said:

Krikkit said:

J-P said:

T-bagger said:

Well I would say that the XM has done one thing very successfully indeed: it has nudged the E36 M3 out of the spot for “least loved M Car” - something I’m rather thankful for

Any excuse for a photo of the old girl

True - I had an E36 M3, loved it!

If the E36 M3 is in earth orbit, the others are between there and and Venus. The XM is somewhere out by Pluto and Charon.

Absolutely fking hideous.

You tee'd it up, couldn't resist.

This car is straight from Uranus. Shame it didn't stay there.

Excellent sir.

[130R]

keepherlitbai said:

I thought the big numbers came before the small in Roman numerals.

Apart from 4, 9, 40, 90, 400 and 900

[ettore]

This utter shambles of a machine is so profoundly ghastly that it's making me question my own taste. Am I now so utterly divorced from the aspirations, desires and design sensibilities of todays populace that I cannot fathom how anything so, well, just plain awful, could be conceived and signed off?

Is it me?

...or is it them?

[chemistry]

That is hideous.

I cannot imagine why anyone sane would buy (lease....) it.

[NigeP]

redrabbit said:

Is the BMW design team recruited from a crack den? fk me, that looks so utterly, utterly st, they're not even trying anymore.

It'll still sell to the usual crew, though

Is it bad that I really want to see someone make this as a parody of BMW's usual promo video BS?

"We visited the local crack den to select some users to join our BMW deisgn team.... this is their story...."

[Four Litre]

Just don't know where to start with this PoS. Nobody really needs to say anything apart from the anyone who had a hand in its creation should be ashamed.

[E90_M3Ross]

chemistry said:

That is hideous.

I cannot imagine why anyone sane would buy (lease....) it.

Just out of question, why did we feels the need to put (lease....) in your comment? Does even 1% of brand new car buyers pay outright? I bet no, so I fail to see the relevance? Just curious

[Wololo]

The BMW Xunt-Mobile...

[nickfrog]

chemistry said:

That is hideous.

I cannot imagine why anyone sane would buy (lease....) it.

I don't know but perhaps they wonder about the sanity of someone buying a Land Rover Defender Urban Truck Carbon Edition.

Land Rover
Defender
Urban
Truck
Carbon
Edition

I am only kidding. The obvious reality is that different people like different things, nothing to do with sanity.

[B10]

[spookly]

Fails at the first hurdle for an "M" car, whatever that is now, as it is far to heavy. A couple of people in it and some luggage and you're driving 3000Kg about.
While it might have enormous tyres to try and control that bloat, it will still feel hideous to drive.

I got rid of my X5 M50d because it was just too bloody heavy. That was 2265Kg. This is 500Kg more. No thanks.

And that's before you get to the looks of the thing. None of the latest BMWs have been lookers, but that XM is super ugly. And all the bolt on tat they've put on it to hide it just isn't working.

[pheonix478]

DMZ said:

The review was entertaining.

I’m not sure I get buying a BMW to stand out. Surely people buy BMWs to fit in? If you have a lot of money and want to show it with a car, you don’t really start with a BMW.

Tell that to the bellends driving round Miami with their Instagram names in the rear side windows. Every single one a BMW... yeah it's a real thing. The desperation for attention is real!

[nickfrog]

pheonix478 said:

Tell that to the bellends driving round Miami with their Instagram names in the rear side windows. Every single one a BMW... yeah it's a real thing. The desperation for attention is real!

I can't remember noticing that there but tbh I wasn't looking for it. It wouldn't overly bother me if it were true, I certainly wouldn't call someone I don't know a bellend but each the their own I guess.

[CharlieAlphaMike]

I saw an iX last week in the metal. They are HUUUUUUGE I fully accept that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but this somehow manages to be UGLY at the same time

[Arsecati]

nickfrog said:

I can't remember noticing that there but tbh I wasn't looking for it. It wouldn't overly bother me if it were true, I certainly wouldn't call someone I don't know a bellend but each the their own I guess.

So we shouldn't call Putin a bellend either if we don't know him?

[nickfrog]

Arsecati said:

nickfrog said:

I can't remember noticing that there but tbh I wasn't looking for it. It wouldn't overly bother me if it were true, I certainly wouldn't call someone I don't know a bellend but each the their own I guess.

So we shouldn't call Putin a bellend either if we don't know him?

I am pretty sure we know a little more about his actions and beliefs than we know about a random BMW driver in Miami with a sticker on his/her car. But you know that