Jensen Interceptor | The Brave Pill
Je ne regrette (tout les) chiens
Australia, 2005 - the third and final Test of the West Indies cricket tour Down Under. The Windies have already lost the first two games, and the series, so are only playing for pride. Batting fourth in the order is Brian Lara, 38 years old and in the twilight of his sporting career, but still one of the greatest batsmen of all time. As his teammates struggle and sell themselves cheap, Lara seems to be playing a different game, scoring freely off the Australians’ feared bowling attack and sending the ball to almost every corner of the Adelaide Oval. A century becomes a double century, and Lara’s score is still climbing steadily when a quicker delivery from Glenn McGrath sneaks through and demolishes the stumps. Lara is out for 226.
Which is, by any definition, a damned fine innings. One matched here – this week’s Brave Pill is the 226th, but also the last one. Like Brian, I would have loved the chance to play on for a bit longer and try to loft a few more over the pavilion roof. But, given the original idea was for a run of 10, I’ve got no complaints. Over four and a half years I’ve put a tick next to every obvious Brave Pill candidate, many multiple times, and managed plenty of less obvious ones too.
There have been some hiccups along the way. Accidentally giving the Bentley Arnage a V12 engine in copy was a lowlight, as were various other typing brainfades – few of which ever sneaked past eagle-eyed commenters. Behind the scenes, there was occasional angry correspondence from some who felt their cars had been unfairly slighted, or unduly savaged in the comments. My tone was always meant to be one of affectionate scepticism rather than turning snide – happy pills rather than bitter pills – so apologies for the times that slipped. But emotions often ran high in such a subjective playground –I don’t think there was ever a single Brave Pill that at least one commenter didn’t reckon was a bit dull and safe, with that including a twin-engined Citroen C2 and a £7500 Mercedes CL 600.
But my biggest single regret was that not a single person acknowledged my ‘more Bernard Ingham than Ingrid Bergman’ line for the Volvo 850 T5-R, a gag I had been waiting for an excuse to use for more than 20 years. Not one.
So how to finish? The last Pill is one that would otherwise have got away, and the answer to the question of what had been unfairly missed from the list. The Jensen Interceptor comes from an earlier generation than the typical Pill, most of which hailed from the ‘80s, ‘90s and ‘00s. But it has also long been my personal exemplar of enticingly risky, expensive motoring. Frankly, it’s a car I’d love to own.
A quarter of a century ago I was working hard on achieving the massive pay cut that would come from moving from software sales to automotive journalism. One of my first part-time gigs was to write small stories for a well-known classic car magazine. Most early assignments were evergreen traditionals like Triumph TRs and MGs, but then I was asked to go and collect a Jensen Interceptor from a dealer to take it to a photoshoot for a feature on attainable dream cars. This meant a round trip of something over 200 miles.
The car was well outside any previous frame of reference. It was the first time I’d driven a V8 – and as a Series III car it had a monstrous 7.2-litre Chrysler engine making over 300hp. My daily at the time was a 205 GTI and the Jensen also seemed enormous, with a dashboard covered in dials and factory air con powerful enough to put a sheen of frost onto the metal air vents when fully cranked up. And even the slushy three-speed auto couldn’t mask its appetite for speed, delivered with a snarling soundtrack. But the real culture shock came when it came time to fill the massive fuel tank at the end of the day, working out that it had been gargling petrol at just over 10mpg. I got paid more in fuel expenses than I did for writing the story.
These days immaculate Series III Interceptors are worth serious money – but not then. That one was about as nice as an Interceptor could be, but cost something less than £15,000. But rather than find a modern equivalent – which would be at least five times as much – I’ve opted to stick with the Brave Pill ethos to the last and select the cheapest example currently in the Classifieds. In this case, a 1969 Series I Interceptor up for £39,950 having covered an entirely unscary 88,000 miles in the last 54 years.
Despite having the smaller engine and the less ornate early dashboard, and lacking the Arctic-grade factory air conditioning, it still looks seriously enticing – especially as former owner Steph Holloway detailed life with it in a YouTube series that goes into huge detail about what it was like to own and drive and which you can find through the advert. One which can tell you far more about it than I can. The car’s role here is mostly to provide some stylish pictures.
Because it also illustrates the wider point with about the moving nature of what constitutes true automotive bravery. In the late ‘90s the Interceptor was at its critical nadir, with cheap examples in four figures and many of the survivors doubtless being run into the ground and subsequently scrapped. The current bull market, with the most desirable specimens north of £70,000, couldn’t have happened without that intermediate stage where the numbers got thinned.
Which is the bit of the bathtub where many of the cars to have been featured as Pills are right now: relatively abundant and not particularly desirable, supply outstripping demand. But that will change. It is interesting to think of the cars that would have been featured if Brave Pill had begun a decade earlier: riskier Lancia Delta Integrales, Mercedes 500Es and two-door Sierra Cosworths would likely have still been cheap enough to make the grade. The only Ford Cosworth product to get Pill’d was a modified Sapphire RS up for £14,000 in 2019, and which would doubtless be north of £20,000 if it got to market now. So while it may seem as if the world is full of enticingly priced AMG Mercs and V10-powered BMW M cars, it really won’t be for long. Don’t leave those itches unscratched.
Oh, and does anyone want to buy Enzo the hamster?
I read somewhere once about a chap who installed a modern, programmable EFI setup and reckoned he got a reliable 18mpg from it.
It was of an Interceptor at an attended service filling station (they all were back then) with the attendant asking the driver (who was in the car) if he could switch the engine off, as the pump couldn’t keep up !
Known for liking a drink of 5 Star even then
A very fitting finale to Brave Pill.
I prefer the jolie laid looks of the CV 8 , I must confess , as I always thought in period that the Interceptor had a vibe of fur coat and no knickers , Rothmans and Playboy mags . Friend had an FF which had seen better days - one one trip we did 5mpg ...
I've had a couple of experiences where owning your hero car has been both positive (SZ - amazing) and negative (integrale - underwhelming), so whilst in theory I could, the more sensible part of me is saying don't - I suspect it would break me. I would wager buying one is the cheapest part of ownership.
Why is Pill ending btw?
“So while it may seem as if the world is full of enticingly priced AMG Mercs and V10-powered BMW M cars, it really won’t be for long. Don’t leave those itches unscratched.”
Never a truer word spoken. The supply of affordable, interestingly-motored cars has to diminish in the coming years as the world goes electric so it’s reasonable to assume that the upward curve of prices for stuff of interest will be even sharper than we’ve seen before. If there’s something out there you want, get it bought before someone else does.
Going out with another nicely written and well thought out article; thanks for four years’ Saturday breakfast accompaniment.
Ps—kudos on the sub headline.
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