Have you ever seen a prototype on the roads?
Discussion
drof said:
To all the people who are reading this thread and are jealous that some of us get to drive prototypes before they are released (cos we work for car manufacturers, suppliers...) then please follow my step-by-step approach to getting the same thrills we do when driving our prototype vehicles, from your own personal cars.
1) Take your car (any car will do from the most mundane to the most exotic).
2) Unscrew as much interior trim as possible, not so it falls off, but so it rattles and squeakes annoyingly.
3) Disable all the airbags and ESP system (if fitted).
4) Re-calibrate your fuel gauge so that it reads half a tank, when it is really almost empty.
5) Take a few rolls of black tape and try and make your window appertures really small, to the point where you can almost see f**k all through the back and side windows. You can also do this to the lights if you wish.
6) Add around 100kg of dead weight to the vehicle (sandbags or bricks will do), this will simulate the effect of the weight of the disguise and additional measurement equipment.
7) On your way home from work, stop exactly half way. Place a large block under the accelerator of your car, so that you get only about 10% of the total range of travel. This will simulate the prototype going into limp home mode because you passed a fox by the roadside or a badger farted or whatever cr*p reason the car thinks it needs to go into reduced power mode for.
8) When you finally do get home, please burn your jump leads and leave your lights on so that the battery is flat the next morning. This will simulate whatever cock-spanner module the prototype has that refuses to power down after ignition-off so that it drains the battery while you are sound asleep.
9) Hide the codes to your car radio so that when you finally get it started the next morning, you have no stereo to listen to.
10) On your way to work, please repeat item (7).
If there are any other engineers, technicians, drivers...etc out there who regularly drive prototypes on the road then, please, feel free to add to the list.
It is only fair that we share the joy and excitement of our work with everyone else.
1) Take your car (any car will do from the most mundane to the most exotic).
2) Unscrew as much interior trim as possible, not so it falls off, but so it rattles and squeakes annoyingly.
3) Disable all the airbags and ESP system (if fitted).
4) Re-calibrate your fuel gauge so that it reads half a tank, when it is really almost empty.
5) Take a few rolls of black tape and try and make your window appertures really small, to the point where you can almost see f**k all through the back and side windows. You can also do this to the lights if you wish.
6) Add around 100kg of dead weight to the vehicle (sandbags or bricks will do), this will simulate the effect of the weight of the disguise and additional measurement equipment.
7) On your way home from work, stop exactly half way. Place a large block under the accelerator of your car, so that you get only about 10% of the total range of travel. This will simulate the prototype going into limp home mode because you passed a fox by the roadside or a badger farted or whatever cr*p reason the car thinks it needs to go into reduced power mode for.
8) When you finally do get home, please burn your jump leads and leave your lights on so that the battery is flat the next morning. This will simulate whatever cock-spanner module the prototype has that refuses to power down after ignition-off so that it drains the battery while you are sound asleep.
9) Hide the codes to your car radio so that when you finally get it started the next morning, you have no stereo to listen to.
10) On your way to work, please repeat item (7).
If there are any other engineers, technicians, drivers...etc out there who regularly drive prototypes on the road then, please, feel free to add to the list.
It is only fair that we share the joy and excitement of our work with everyone else.
I'll never forget when I was reflashing an ECU on my drive and my knee knocked off the ignition switch mid-flash.
Got to love ETAS Inca!
Then the ECU was totally locked and I couldn't move the XJ.
It had to be dragged out and it made a total mess of my gravel drive. Made me realise just how heavy modern cars are, compared to my old 3 series or even the 993!
drof said:
To all the people who are reading this thread and are jealous that some of us get to drive prototypes before they are released (cos we work for car manufacturers, suppliers...) then please follow my step-by-step approach to getting the same thrills we do when driving our prototype vehicles, from your own personal cars.
1) Take your car (any car will do from the most mundane to the most exotic).
2) Unscrew as much interior trim as possible, not so it falls off, but so it rattles and squeakes annoyingly.
3) Disable all the airbags and ESP system (if fitted).
4) Re-calibrate your fuel gauge so that it reads half a tank, when it is really almost empty.
5) Take a few rolls of black tape and try and make your window appertures really small, to the point where you can almost see f**k all through the back and side windows. You can also do this to the lights if you wish.
6) Add around 100kg of dead weight to the vehicle (sandbags or bricks will do), this will simulate the effect of the weight of the disguise and additional measurement equipment.
7) On your way home from work, stop exactly half way. Place a large block under the accelerator of your car, so that you get only about 10% of the total range of travel. This will simulate the prototype going into limp home mode because you passed a fox by the roadside or a badger farted or whatever cr*p reason the car thinks it needs to go into reduced power mode for.
8) When you finally do get home, please burn your jump leads and leave your lights on so that the battery is flat the next morning. This will simulate whatever cock-spanner module the prototype has that refuses to power down after ignition-off so that it drains the battery while you are sound asleep.
9) Hide the codes to your car radio so that when you finally get it started the next morning, you have no stereo to listen to.
10) On your way to work, please repeat item (7).
If there are any other engineers, technicians, drivers...etc out there who regularly drive prototypes on the road then, please, feel free to add to the list.
It is only fair that we share the joy and excitement of our work with everyone else.
1) Take your car (any car will do from the most mundane to the most exotic).
2) Unscrew as much interior trim as possible, not so it falls off, but so it rattles and squeakes annoyingly.
3) Disable all the airbags and ESP system (if fitted).
4) Re-calibrate your fuel gauge so that it reads half a tank, when it is really almost empty.
5) Take a few rolls of black tape and try and make your window appertures really small, to the point where you can almost see f**k all through the back and side windows. You can also do this to the lights if you wish.
6) Add around 100kg of dead weight to the vehicle (sandbags or bricks will do), this will simulate the effect of the weight of the disguise and additional measurement equipment.
7) On your way home from work, stop exactly half way. Place a large block under the accelerator of your car, so that you get only about 10% of the total range of travel. This will simulate the prototype going into limp home mode because you passed a fox by the roadside or a badger farted or whatever cr*p reason the car thinks it needs to go into reduced power mode for.
8) When you finally do get home, please burn your jump leads and leave your lights on so that the battery is flat the next morning. This will simulate whatever cock-spanner module the prototype has that refuses to power down after ignition-off so that it drains the battery while you are sound asleep.
9) Hide the codes to your car radio so that when you finally get it started the next morning, you have no stereo to listen to.
10) On your way to work, please repeat item (7).
If there are any other engineers, technicians, drivers...etc out there who regularly drive prototypes on the road then, please, feel free to add to the list.
It is only fair that we share the joy and excitement of our work with everyone else.
Just when I thought you had covered everything I realised the bane of my life wasn't in there - a module in a CAN ring shuts down and the vehicle is as good as useless. IP / transmission / anti theft module - they ALL do it.
drof said:
To all the people who are reading this thread and are jealous that some of us get to drive prototypes before they are released (cos we work for car manufacturers, suppliers...) then please follow my step-by-step approach to getting the same thrills we do when driving our prototype vehicles, from your own personal cars.
1) Take your car (any car will do from the most mundane to the most exotic).
2) Unscrew as much interior trim as possible, not so it falls off, but so it rattles and squeakes annoyingly.
3) Disable all the airbags and ESP system (if fitted).
4) Re-calibrate your fuel gauge so that it reads half a tank, when it is really almost empty.
5) Take a few rolls of black tape and try and make your window appertures really small, to the point where you can almost see f**k all through the back and side windows. You can also do this to the lights if you wish.
6) Add around 100kg of dead weight to the vehicle (sandbags or bricks will do), this will simulate the effect of the weight of the disguise and additional measurement equipment.
7) On your way home from work, stop exactly half way. Place a large block under the accelerator of your car, so that you get only about 10% of the total range of travel. This will simulate the prototype going into limp home mode because you passed a fox by the roadside or a badger farted or whatever cr*p reason the car thinks it needs to go into reduced power mode for.
8) When you finally do get home, please burn your jump leads and leave your lights on so that the battery is flat the next morning. This will simulate whatever cock-spanner module the prototype has that refuses to power down after ignition-off so that it drains the battery while you are sound asleep.
9) Hide the codes to your car radio so that when you finally get it started the next morning, you have no stereo to listen to.
10) On your way to work, please repeat item (7).
If there are any other engineers, technicians, drivers...etc out there who regularly drive prototypes on the road then, please, feel free to add to the list.
It is only fair that we share the joy and excitement of our work with everyone else.
1) Take your car (any car will do from the most mundane to the most exotic).
2) Unscrew as much interior trim as possible, not so it falls off, but so it rattles and squeakes annoyingly.
3) Disable all the airbags and ESP system (if fitted).
4) Re-calibrate your fuel gauge so that it reads half a tank, when it is really almost empty.
5) Take a few rolls of black tape and try and make your window appertures really small, to the point where you can almost see f**k all through the back and side windows. You can also do this to the lights if you wish.
6) Add around 100kg of dead weight to the vehicle (sandbags or bricks will do), this will simulate the effect of the weight of the disguise and additional measurement equipment.
7) On your way home from work, stop exactly half way. Place a large block under the accelerator of your car, so that you get only about 10% of the total range of travel. This will simulate the prototype going into limp home mode because you passed a fox by the roadside or a badger farted or whatever cr*p reason the car thinks it needs to go into reduced power mode for.
8) When you finally do get home, please burn your jump leads and leave your lights on so that the battery is flat the next morning. This will simulate whatever cock-spanner module the prototype has that refuses to power down after ignition-off so that it drains the battery while you are sound asleep.
9) Hide the codes to your car radio so that when you finally get it started the next morning, you have no stereo to listen to.
10) On your way to work, please repeat item (7).
If there are any other engineers, technicians, drivers...etc out there who regularly drive prototypes on the road then, please, feel free to add to the list.
It is only fair that we share the joy and excitement of our work with everyone else.
That is all so true...
I will add:
You have to keep an eye out for other road users that are so busy looking at what you are
driving that they drive into you!
3 weeks of off road driving around the same track..every part of your body aches after being shaken to pieces
Would I change what I do...........not on your life mate.
best job in the world smiley
farmeryellow said:
[
That is all so true...
I will add:
You have to keep an eye out for other road users that are so busy looking at what you are
driving that they drive into you!
3 weeks of off road driving around the same track..every part of your body aches after being shaken to pieces
Would I change what I do...........not on your life mate.
best job in the world smiley
That is all so true...
I will add:
You have to keep an eye out for other road users that are so busy looking at what you are
driving that they drive into you!
3 weeks of off road driving around the same track..every part of your body aches after being shaken to pieces
Would I change what I do...........not on your life mate.
best job in the world smiley
A mate of mine worked on the FIRST Lucas ABS system for the range rover. There were a few OFF Road verses ABS software issues they had to test for.
1) They had to get the Range Rover to Fly whilst applying the brakes. The Failure Mode was that the brakes would Lock Mid Air and stay locked on Landing.
2) They had to apply the Brakes going Down hill on wet grass. The Failure Mode was they Never actually stopped, because the car would keep releasing the brakes.
3) They had to get all four wheels Spinning going uphill on Mud and apply the brakes. The failure mode was that the brakes kept releasing so the Range Rover Ended up going slowly backwards.
He mentioned something about if he has to go up that ramp again at 70 mph he'll take the software engineer and version 62 of the software and break his spine.
I remember Visiting Fen End (Lucas Car Breaks Research centre) to visit the Cheif Engineer John Ford. It was snowing. He asked me where I'd come from (about 20 miles in a fiat 126) and then phoned the guy that was in charge of test vehicles and demanded to know why all the test drivers were grounded instead of testing ABS on a Snowdonian Mountain B road.
Marquis Rex said:
I'll never forget when I was reflashing an ECU on my drive and my knee knocked off the ignition switch mid-flash.
Got to love ETAS Inca!
Then the ECU was totally locked and I couldn't move the XJ.
It had to be dragged out and it made a total mess of my gravel drive. Made me realise just how heavy modern cars are, compared to my old 3 series or even the 993!
Got to love ETAS Inca!
Then the ECU was totally locked and I couldn't move the XJ.
It had to be dragged out and it made a total mess of my gravel drive. Made me realise just how heavy modern cars are, compared to my old 3 series or even the 993!
Flashing any module whilst away from your place of work always carries that element of risk....as you and Gavin pointed out.
Regardless which calibration tool you are using, there is always that dreaded moment............................."Oh my god! The little progress bar has stopped moving.....oh, no....please God, why now, why me?............................BUT WAIT, no it's still moving!! THANK THE LORD!".
Forgot to mention that the same guy built a 'Prototype' for the Parohs Rally (A space frame beast with 2 truck radiators and a Rover V8.
He and his mate borrowed a Rally Preped Rover P6 to get an international licence, except that his mate had moved to Lucas in Koblenz, so he had to come back to the UK to do the 6 rallies. On one trip he borrowed a 7 Series with massive warning notices in German on the back and a set of lights on the roof. Basically it read "Warning Brake TESTING" It was full of test gear, but having forgot to book a hotel and running late he ended up sleeping in it in a Carpark next to Aintree in Liverpool with £160K worth of test equipment in it. The alarm self activated in the middle of the night and he could not work out how to turn it off. The Police were surprisingly quick to attend the German registered car 'POLICE Car' as a resident had explained when Dialing 999.
They found it quite funny.
He and his mate borrowed a Rally Preped Rover P6 to get an international licence, except that his mate had moved to Lucas in Koblenz, so he had to come back to the UK to do the 6 rallies. On one trip he borrowed a 7 Series with massive warning notices in German on the back and a set of lights on the roof. Basically it read "Warning Brake TESTING" It was full of test gear, but having forgot to book a hotel and running late he ended up sleeping in it in a Carpark next to Aintree in Liverpool with £160K worth of test equipment in it. The alarm self activated in the middle of the night and he could not work out how to turn it off. The Police were surprisingly quick to attend the German registered car 'POLICE Car' as a resident had explained when Dialing 999.
They found it quite funny.
I saw a prototype this morning actually, I was going past the Jaguar Engineering centre on the A45 near Coventry. It was very heavily disguised whatever it was. I couldn't even tell whether it was a saloon or estate, looked quite small (X-type sized) so not sure what it could have been, as I didn't think they were replacing the X-type?
Aquadrome said:
A two door Cayenne sounds a bit implausible but at least there might be an explanation for seeing a secret Porsche in Liverpool 'cos they do some testing in Ireland and maybe they get the ferry from there.
I was wondering whether it might have been a test mule for the 997 Carrera 4's 4WD system (it was about a year before the 997 broke cover), or maybe something for testing the componants for the revised Cayenne.
Looked pretty good, actually. I happen to think the Cayenne's an ugly bugger at the best of times but with its short-wheelbase this had the look of a lightweight desert-raider about it.
Aquadrome said:
Also, Porsche engineers are well known for their love of The Beatles. In fact, the continued existence of a rear engined car in their range can be explained because they took 'Get Back' to be an instruction.
Roberto Rica said:
In the early 80s I was actually run into the back of by the prototype Delorean on it's maiden outing - luckily it wasn't doing 88 mph.
You sure?
They started making DeLoreans in 1979 and the prototypes were in existence from about 1975. They'd gone under by 1983
Maybe they were planning a new one that just didn't get built?
The most recent one I saw was a Mclaren SLR 722...Also saw about 4 normal SLRs in various states of black tape/primer before they were released. Remember one being incredibly quiet even when disappearing into the distance, and one exceptionally loud. My route to work seemed to include part of one of their test routes.
Also saw two semi-disguised aston DB9s last year with extra bonnet vents at Millbrook (DBS perhaps?), along with facelifted Renault Vans with camouflage over the front ends!
Oh and some S Type variant while I was visiting Prodrive's track a few years ago.
The least expected place I saw a prototype was in middle of Hove near Brighton. It was a tall 4x4 with the full black body cladding. Still don't know what it was!
Also saw two semi-disguised aston DB9s last year with extra bonnet vents at Millbrook (DBS perhaps?), along with facelifted Renault Vans with camouflage over the front ends!
Oh and some S Type variant while I was visiting Prodrive's track a few years ago.
The least expected place I saw a prototype was in middle of Hove near Brighton. It was a tall 4x4 with the full black body cladding. Still don't know what it was!
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