What's the best/worst car related fib you've ever heard?
Discussion
andy400 said:
Years ago, I came back to my home town on leave, and bumped into an old schoolmate in the pub. I remember he was always a bit of a saddo, and prone to a bit of bulls
t, but his latest story took the biscuit. I had just told the not particularly interesting story of being stopped by the police for a multiple-lepton M3 dash, when he decided he just had to go one better (bear in mind that he had a Mk3 Escort, 1.3 or 1.6 I forget which...):
"Yeah I was heading home the other night, going about a ton down the country lanes, when a police car pulled out and chased me. I decided not to stop, and floored it. I wasn't losing them, so I changed tactics. I went round a bend and saw an open gate into a field, so I took it, tyres screeching, and in the field was a barn full of hay bales. I headed in, then slammed on the brakes. Just managed to stop as I hit the stack of bales, which toppled over and completely hid my car from the cops, who carried on by. I waited a while, then got out, cleared off the hay, and went home."
Pause.
Me: "That didn't happen at all, did it?"
Sad one: "Yeah it did, you weren't there, you calling me a liar? etc etc etc etc"
Me: "Ok. Bye then."
Did this happen just after he'd watched the original back to the future when the DeLorean evades the Libians?t, but his latest story took the biscuit. I had just told the not particularly interesting story of being stopped by the police for a multiple-lepton M3 dash, when he decided he just had to go one better (bear in mind that he had a Mk3 Escort, 1.3 or 1.6 I forget which...):"Yeah I was heading home the other night, going about a ton down the country lanes, when a police car pulled out and chased me. I decided not to stop, and floored it. I wasn't losing them, so I changed tactics. I went round a bend and saw an open gate into a field, so I took it, tyres screeching, and in the field was a barn full of hay bales. I headed in, then slammed on the brakes. Just managed to stop as I hit the stack of bales, which toppled over and completely hid my car from the cops, who carried on by. I waited a while, then got out, cleared off the hay, and went home."
Pause.
Me: "That didn't happen at all, did it?"
Sad one: "Yeah it did, you weren't there, you calling me a liar? etc etc etc etc"
Me: "Ok. Bye then."
mat205125 said:
andy400 said:
Years ago, I came back to my home town on leave, and bumped into an old schoolmate in the pub. I remember he was always a bit of a saddo, and prone to a bit of bullst, but his latest story took the biscuit. I had just told the not particularly interesting story of being stopped by the police for a multiple-lepton M3 dash, when he decided he just had to go one better (bear in mind that he had a Mk3 Escort, 1.3 or 1.6 I forget which...):
"Yeah I was heading home the other night, going about a ton down the country lanes, when a police car pulled out and chased me. I decided not to stop, and floored it. I wasn't losing them, so I changed tactics. I went round a bend and saw an open gate into a field, so I took it, tyres screeching, and in the field was a barn full of hay bales. I headed in, then slammed on the brakes. Just managed to stop as I hit the stack of bales, which toppled over and completely hid my car from the cops, who carried on by. I waited a while, then got out, cleared off the hay, and went home."
Pause.
Me: "That didn't happen at all, did it?"
Sad one: "Yeah it did, you weren't there, you calling me a liar? etc etc etc etc"
Me: "Ok. Bye then."
Did this happen just after he'd watched the original back to the future when the DeLorean evades the Libians?t, but his latest story took the biscuit. I had just told the not particularly interesting story of being stopped by the police for a multiple-lepton M3 dash, when he decided he just had to go one better (bear in mind that he had a Mk3 Escort, 1.3 or 1.6 I forget which...):"Yeah I was heading home the other night, going about a ton down the country lanes, when a police car pulled out and chased me. I decided not to stop, and floored it. I wasn't losing them, so I changed tactics. I went round a bend and saw an open gate into a field, so I took it, tyres screeching, and in the field was a barn full of hay bales. I headed in, then slammed on the brakes. Just managed to stop as I hit the stack of bales, which toppled over and completely hid my car from the cops, who carried on by. I waited a while, then got out, cleared off the hay, and went home."
Pause.
Me: "That didn't happen at all, did it?"
Sad one: "Yeah it did, you weren't there, you calling me a liar? etc etc etc etc"
Me: "Ok. Bye then."
Maybe he thought it safe to recycle the story after a few years had passed...
Gazboy said:
A colleague once told me his brother had a 600bhp Skyline that was tuned by 'a Porsche place' at the Nurburgring with a £100k engine and had an active carbon fibre wing made by Mclaren, with his car in their wind tunnel.
Everyone knows someone with a car like that. And if you want to meet these people who know the owners just buy a Skyline and park in a public car park. Some chav will come up to you and 1) ask you how much power your Skyline has
2) tell you he knows someone with a Skyline that has your power plus 300-400 bhp
3) fail to be able to give precise details if you ask any questions
Ohhh so many! How about my mate saying his 320 BMW was faster than the 328 because the 328 was a 4cylinder and the 320 was the only 6??
Or much more recently a lad told me that the 350Z had a button that made it rev to 11,000rpm! I had some fun with one on the way to the Nurb recently.. didn't seem to be doing 11,000rpm but my eyesight isn't that good the mirrors are quite small on my car
Or much more recently a lad told me that the 350Z had a button that made it rev to 11,000rpm! I had some fun with one on the way to the Nurb recently.. didn't seem to be doing 11,000rpm but my eyesight isn't that good the mirrors are quite small on my car
a few years ago i worked with a total knobber. he always had a mate who could outdo anything anywhere. he knew i was into cars so when he was bored he would come into my office and bullst. one i remember in particulare was that his mate had a nissan gttir or something and "had done it up," the car had made so much power that mclaren had bought it off him. i really struggled to keep my face straight with that one. its a shame my memory is so poor that guy gave me loads of material for this topic
t. one i remember in particulare was that his mate had a nissan gttir or something and "had done it up," the car had made so much power that mclaren had bought it off him. i really struggled to keep my face straight with that one. its a shame my memory is so poor that guy gave me loads of material for this topicI was working away at a place in Portsmouth some years ago. There was a guy there who had a Lotus Exige and apparently did a lot of track days. He was the office export on all motoring and motorsport matters.
He came into work one day and was telling his mates how he'd watch CART racing on TV the night before. He told them that the cars were only 2/3 of the size of F1 cars and were much more powerful. I pointed out that the CART cars were actually larger and heavier than F1 cars and that despite running on ethanol based fuel and running turbo chargers they were actually less powerful than the F1 cars. The poor bloke was stunned into silence.
I eventually persuaded him to take me for a spin the the Exige too. He pottered out the the dual carriage way, repeated demonstated accelleration from 70 to 120 in a straight line, and then pottered back. The most dissapoining passenger ride I've had in my entire life.
He came into work one day and was telling his mates how he'd watch CART racing on TV the night before. He told them that the cars were only 2/3 of the size of F1 cars and were much more powerful. I pointed out that the CART cars were actually larger and heavier than F1 cars and that despite running on ethanol based fuel and running turbo chargers they were actually less powerful than the F1 cars. The poor bloke was stunned into silence.
I eventually persuaded him to take me for a spin the the Exige too. He pottered out the the dual carriage way, repeated demonstated accelleration from 70 to 120 in a straight line, and then pottered back. The most dissapoining passenger ride I've had in my entire life.
Edited by VladD on Monday 29th September 16:53
I used to play football with a lad who drove a Pug 306, and I quote "1.8, 2.0l 16v"
Now I never did find out whether it was a 1.8 or a 2.0 nor how many valves it had but being the behubcapped base model I had a fair idea!
My personal 'pet hate' favourite was one of the directors at our company who owned an SL500.
He would constantly quote the book price of the fking thing even though he bought a 3/4 year old model and then tried to tell me this thing was twin turbo charged!
me: "oh, i thought only the SL65 AMG was twin turbo and the SL55 was supercharged"
him: "yeah that's what I said, twin supercharged"
me: "but isn't yours the SL500"
Weapons grade bellend!
Now I never did find out whether it was a 1.8 or a 2.0 nor how many valves it had but being the behubcapped base model I had a fair idea!
My personal 'pet hate' favourite was one of the directors at our company who owned an SL500.
He would constantly quote the book price of the f
king thing even though he bought a 3/4 year old model and then tried to tell me this thing was twin turbo charged!me: "oh, i thought only the SL65 AMG was twin turbo and the SL55 was supercharged"
him: "yeah that's what I said, twin supercharged"
me: "but isn't yours the SL500"
Weapons grade bellend!
mat205125 said:
uk_vette said:
My previous car was on Ebay last week.
The guy selling ir, is the guy who bought it off me.
There is so much crap in the blurb.
I almost vommit!
Get in and ask him loads of questions about it to try and get some more detailed lies out of himThe guy selling ir, is the guy who bought it off me.
There is so much crap in the blurb.
I almost vommit!
.
I sent him a mail from another account, but no reply for more images.
I was thinking he might reccognise my voice.
Plenty of smellies in the advert.
Now that MR2 Turbos can be bought for pennys the chavs have really moved in on them, the forums are often full of rubbish. Those who seem to truely believe their 19 year old bog standard car with a £10 grainger valve to up the boost 3psi can "waste" 997's etc. When you point out that even if its almost as quick but its still a £1000 toyota now doing about 8mpg and likely to only last a few thousand miles they will go on about how great a car it is and they could afford a Porsche "if they wanted one".
Just remembered a certain customer we used to get in work. He once caught me for just under 2 hours (yes, that's 2 hours) telling me about his Cortina. No it wasn't a Lotus, it was a mk.4 4 door in Jewish Racing Gold that was worth £500 on a good day. He came in a few months later looking for new alloys to go on his current project - a mk.1 Laguna diesel estate. He then told us how he was taking it round the Nurburgring. It became an initiation right for any new member of staff, we all got caught with him at least once.
However, we never saw or heard from him again after the Laguna. Perhaps he and it are buried in some Germanic armco? Perhaps his spirit haunts the pit lane to this day, telling supercar owners of his new project? Who knows.............
However, we never saw or heard from him again after the Laguna. Perhaps he and it are buried in some Germanic armco? Perhaps his spirit haunts the pit lane to this day, telling supercar owners of his new project? Who knows.............
Mates sister was telling me her boyfriends merc has a super button that made it super fast and doubled the power.
One day she was in my Navara and said" oh, i see you have a super button" Blimey i thought, Nissan have come good, nope, she was pressing the air con switch.
If only id known such cr*p would give access to this fine filly id have tried yrs ago.
One day she was in my Navara and said" oh, i see you have a super button" Blimey i thought, Nissan have come good, nope, she was pressing the air con switch.
If only id known such cr*p would give access to this fine filly id have tried yrs ago.
was working with the owner of this a few weeks ago....
....he told one lad it used to have a 300 bhp 2.0 turbo engine and me that it was a V6...then the following week he'd put it back to a 1.8 because he was getting pulled all the time. I over heard him telling someones else he had a fiesta that was fitted with a cosworth engine...that was FWD
....he told one lad it used to have a 300 bhp 2.0 turbo engine and me that it was a V6...then the following week he'd put it back to a 1.8 because he was getting pulled all the time. I over heard him telling someones else he had a fiesta that was fitted with a cosworth engine...that was FWD
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