What's the best/worst car related fib you've ever heard?
Discussion
Civpilot said:
The engine was also fully setup to be a "show car" with braided hoses everywhere....
And then....Civpilot said:
.... his bonnet catch was broken so he couldn't lift the bonnet and show us.
That would have made an interesting show piece. 
Sounds like the nob i used to work with.
Edited by WorAl on Tuesday 21st October 12:44
Speaking to a Taxi driver on saturday night- speaking about his new zafira dti... i mentioned it pulled well. He turns around and says. 'its well down on power. Had some work done, including the radiator replaced last week and it still has air trapped in the system' Im thinking fuel system? But no, he pipes up again... 'yeah, you can feel it holding back- the waterpump is working harder to find and pump the water around and straining the engine' I just sat there thinking the only trapped air, is between your ears mate, but I did not have the heart- or will power to get into a discussion about it. Oh and apologies if this is hard to read- on mobile, will edit later
One more sprints to mind. The flatbed driver who recovered my Boxster S to a specialist (duff battery). He first asked why I bought a "woman's car" and not a "real 911". I didn't bite but asked if he'd had anything sporty. He had indeed. An early Escort RS Turbo, which was highly tuned and saw off many 911s. Back in the day he'd had 180mph out of it.
But best of all was his flatbed. With a car on the back, he'd once managed South London to central Manchester in under 2.5 hours in rush hour. In fact, it was closer to 2 hours the more he thought about it. Not bad for a 200+ mile trip with numerous traffic choke points. Though maybe next time he should let his handbrake off.
h4muf said:
This morning,a bloke i know really well said to me
Have you got a spare £5000? Err why?
I`ve got an m5 for sale on lpg.
What year is it?
It`s on a 55 plate...
Anyway,i said take my number and ring me later.
Still waiting
Yeah a friend was offered a E46 M3 coupe for £4500...Have you got a spare £5000? Err why?
I`ve got an m5 for sale on lpg.
What year is it?
It`s on a 55 plate...
Anyway,i said take my number and ring me later.
Still waiting
Turned out to be a smashed up 318 saloon for £6k ish
I think it's a sign of the times that some Billy Bulls
tters are now spouting nonsense about their supposed MPG rather than performance/bhp/'beating a 911' etc.
One rather optimistic chap at my work claims to get "120 mpg" from his 2008 1.9TDi Passat on the motorway.
Anyone else noticed this unhappy trend?
tters are now spouting nonsense about their supposed MPG rather than performance/bhp/'beating a 911' etc.One rather optimistic chap at my work claims to get "120 mpg" from his 2008 1.9TDi Passat on the motorway.
Anyone else noticed this unhappy trend?
adycav said:
I think it's a sign of the times that some Billy Bullstters are now spouting nonsense about their supposed MPG rather than performance/bhp/'beating a 911' etc.
One rather optimistic chap at my work claims to get "120 mpg" from his 2008 1.9TDi Passat on the motorway.
Anyone else noticed this unhappy trend?
the one that annoyes me is the people that say my car does 70mpg on the motorway(i think ok maybe at 60mph) then i say at what speed, and they say 95mph or therebouts.tters are now spouting nonsense about their supposed MPG rather than performance/bhp/'beating a 911' etc.One rather optimistic chap at my work claims to get "120 mpg" from his 2008 1.9TDi Passat on the motorway.
Anyone else noticed this unhappy trend?
you just know its complete bulls
t. best bit though is when you question their calculation methods.
its quite entertaining, try it.
some people should be shot, they annoy the f
k out of me.Edited by mcBontempi on Wednesday 22 October 17:29
The flatbed truck driver reminded me of my 911,the battery was dead and had to be taken away ,when the truck arrived he got it on the truck then started to fasten steel hooks to the wheel arches as he did this I had to stop himas when he tightened the straps he would have ground off the paint.Then he said a classic "Tahts what I love with this job, you have to use your brains"so he pulled somre foam out of his trucks seats and wrapped it around the hooks ,TOOL!!!
When I had a supra I was asked if I wanted a race. When asking what the chap drove he told me about his 1300bhp R34 GTR. So I asked him what engine mods it had done to get it up to that power and where it was done (as there isnt too many specialists in our neck of the woods), his replay was it was a rebuilt engine that he had shipped in from Japan. I simply smiled and nodded and said that the lag must have been a PITA, to this he went to great lengths to inform me that it was still running the stock twin turbos. So I decided to humor him and said if were to travel up the motorway he would surly run out of fuel first but to my suprise it seemed he was getting 30+mpg!
I think I must have laughed for a good half hour when he left.
I think I must have laughed for a good half hour when he left.
A guy at college talks so much bull it's unreal. Once, he was doing 70mph along a twisty A-road in his ex-MOD Series 3 Land Rover, when he realised his brakes had failed. Amazingly, he managed to pull on the handbrake, getting the back end out, and turned into a little side road and stopped just inches from a copper who happened to be stopped on this single track road.
There's also the time he posted some photos on an internet forum of him in his Land Rover on a laning trip with his new, amazingly hot girlfriend. Apparently the photos were taken by his girlfriend, so she isn't in any of the photos. It's just unfortunate that in real life I know that a) he doesn't have a girlfriend and b) the photos were taken on his drive.
There's also the time he posted some photos on an internet forum of him in his Land Rover on a laning trip with his new, amazingly hot girlfriend. Apparently the photos were taken by his girlfriend, so she isn't in any of the photos. It's just unfortunate that in real life I know that a) he doesn't have a girlfriend and b) the photos were taken on his drive.
minimatt1967 said:
MADRod said:
BazW said:
I over heard him telling someones else he had a fiesta that was fitted with a cosworth engine...that was FWD
You mean like this one a few of these about
Guy in my work has apparently got a mk1 or mk2 golf gti.
Its had a full body restoration and respray in silver. The interior has been cleaned up and retrimmed in the same leather as bentley use.
Oh and the V8 engine conversion and its now rwd. has apparently been to a few vw shows during the summer.
Shame he stays at home and his mum doesnt know anything about it when i asked her.
Could also say about his new flat, the £10000 his dad gave him to get a new kitchen but thats not car related. But still a nice big fib
Its had a full body restoration and respray in silver. The interior has been cleaned up and retrimmed in the same leather as bentley use.
Oh and the V8 engine conversion and its now rwd. has apparently been to a few vw shows during the summer.
Shame he stays at home and his mum doesnt know anything about it when i asked her.
Could also say about his new flat, the £10000 his dad gave him to get a new kitchen but thats not car related. But still a nice big fib
theres one lad at my work claimed he was out hunting with his dad, which he drove a white 4X4 Cosworth, they were hunting on a golf course (the woods apparently) for some reason they had to jump in the car and leave, think they were poaching, his dad set it away hit a bunker, smashed the suspension, then was heading for a Deer, and shot that through the windscreen.
Same lad who has never being married but has an EX- Wife who was Egyptian and was former Miss Egypt, along with a load of other dribble
Same lad who has never being married but has an EX- Wife who was Egyptian and was former Miss Egypt, along with a load of other dribble
chap i used to work with claimed he used to work for "the mercedes formula 1 engine department" to which i replied do you mean illmor? did not have a tube of glue what i was banging on about, it was around this time that i relaised that the previously mentioned trip to the British Grand Prix in a helicopter was not going to happen 
one more for BMW, Z3m coupe was being sold with warsteiner stickers (i think that is the right company) if you wanted them but you would have no warranty if they caused any damage to the engine??????
one more for BMW, Z3m coupe was being sold with warsteiner stickers (i think that is the right company) if you wanted them but you would have no warranty if they caused any damage to the engine??????
minimatt1967 said:
crackthatoff said:
my mate insists he 'had the milk float sideways around the roundabout' he must have learned to drift in his 1.1 Ax 
Perhaps he had a bomb on board in a speed stylee 
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