Stupid things non petrolheads say....

[Stedman]

"You're mental"

"No, i'm overtaking a car that's doing 30mph in a 60mph zone with a huge view of no other cars coming the other way!" (All said inside my head)

[Vidal Baboon]

Oh I love this one about big bikes.

Most people talking about 600cc+ bikes: you'll kill yourself on that

Me: Oh really, so comming off at 90mph on a 125cc is somehow going be softer than if I fell from a 1200cc at the same speed?

[Engineer1]

vxrandy said:

marksx said:

What size engine is it? A 2 litre?

It looks like a calibra

I've had this a few times so i tell them no its a 6 litre and the reply is always the same 6 LITRE !!

It does have a family resemblance to a Calibra. Blame GM and their lazy arses doing the design.

[Dr Jekyll]

"You're overreving it" When you hit 3500 RPM in a car with a 6500 red line.

[essexplumber]

Dr Jekyll said:

"You're overreving it" When you hit 3500 RPM in a car with a 6500 red line.

How many Yaris, KA ETC do you see revving the nuts out of the engine when prking?

[richcorsavxr]

satnav beeps for speed camara.

mother: careful speed camara coming up
me: thats ok i have the cruise control set to the speed limit.
mother: careful theres the camara slow down
me: i'm not speeding its fine!
mother: slow down
me: argh!


.......................

also get the usual:
wheres you baseball cap
chav
boy racer
i bet you rag the st outta that
its only a vauxhall


the usually reply from me is 'tell me, how much did you pay for your low spec german, common as muck reps car?

[fezzafoo]

Every day. When mum parks her Swift 1.3 i'm sure she's bounced off the limiter a few times, terrified of stalling since she did do the other month and took the garage door out lol.

I have the same with the missus on ALL of these. Overtake something (anything) = driving like a nob. Rev = Speed. The works. ARGG!

[Buzzkill]

Easily the worst:

Once a car is touching 100k it's had it regardless of marque, model and history/servicing.

[Elskeggso]

essexplumber said:

Me driving along with an older collegue in the van on an M-way.

Collegue: "Why do you keep weaving in and out? Thats dangerous! Your supposed to stay in the FAST lane untill you exit"

Me: "No, I'm just keeping in lane 1 untill I have to overtake"

Collegue: "Why do you call it lane 1?"

Me: "Thats what it is..lane 1"

Collegue: "Oh, I thought it was just for the lorrys and that"

It seems most people think that way, at least the last time I drove on a motorway it seemed like it.

[Mastodon2]

essexplumber said:

Me driving along with an older collegue in the van on an M-way.

Collegue: "Why do you keep weaving in and out? Thats dangerous! Your supposed to stay in the FAST lane untill you exit"

Me: "No, I'm just keeping in lane 1 untill I have to overtake"

Collegue: "Why do you call it lane 1?"

Me: "Thats what it is..lane 1"

Collegue: "Oh, I thought it was just for the lorrys and that"

This in a nutshell, explains why M-ways are so bad in this country.

Here is a good one I had just the other night at work between me, a woman who is an experienced mechanic and works in a car parts shop, and an idiot who was eavesdropping, talking about what it would be like to own a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution, in particular about the 4500 mile service interval on older models.

Me: Yeah, that 4500 SI makes it hard to find cheap Evos with a FSH, and if you do find a FSHer, getting it serviced twice a year on average is probably not cheap either.

Idiot eavesdropper: Why not just skip the services?

Me / mechanic lady: Much rolling of eyes and talk of chucking your vehicles potential value down the toilet, not to mention the immense stress on the Evo engine that nesecessitated the 4500 mile interval in the first place...

[useyourdellusion]

Elskeggso said:

essexplumber said:

Me driving along with an older collegue in the van on an M-way.

Collegue: "Why do you keep weaving in and out? Thats dangerous! Your supposed to stay in the FAST lane untill you exit"

Me: "No, I'm just keeping in lane 1 untill I have to overtake"

Collegue: "Why do you call it lane 1?"

Me: "Thats what it is..lane 1"

Collegue: "Oh, I thought it was just for the lorrys and that"

It seems most people think that way, at least the last time I drove on a motorway it seemed like it.

Agreed. I was driving once, had my mate with me. I moved into lane 1 after a busy interchange and he asked me if we were leaving at the next exit.

Me: "No, why?"
Him: "Just wondered why you've moved into this lane."
Me: "Well there's no point in staying out there if there's nothing in this...Don't tell me you're a middle-laner!"
Him: "Well, but, but...."
Me: "Bane of my life they are, f*cking thicko middle-laners rant...rant etc."
Him: Silence



I did go on a bit, but boy do they pee me off.

[Ben Hughes]

I'm sometimes called 'the rich kid the with sports car'. It cost me £950 of my own hard-earned, while you drive a brand-new Fiat Punto which your parents bought for you, stupid fking wker.

[Liquid Knight]

Does your 190E actually do 190mph? Does that mean the 230 can do 230mph?

[GTO Scott]

Buzzkill said:

Easily the worst:

Once a car is touching 100k it's had it regardless of marque, model and history/servicing.

My woman was terrible for this. When I met her she had a 51-plate Ford Focus which she sold because it had 98,000 on the clock. All it needed was a cambelt service and a set of dampers. She then went through a 307 that had low mileage and lasted 3 months before the electrics came over all French and went on strike, a PT Cruiser that was great in every way apart from crap fuel economy, and now she's back in a V-reg TDDi Focus that had 147k when we bought it, and in 12 months hasn't missed a beat. Mileage on it is now 191k.

Mind you, she also believed her local insurance broker got her the best deal every time, and absolutely couldn't be bettered. A ten minute search on confused.com had the quote dropped by over £300. It's taken a couple of years but finally she listens to me when it comes to cars.

[MartG]

Bloke commenting about my old Calibra Turbo
"It's a diesel isn't it"
Me "No, 2 litre petrol"
"But it's a Turbo. All Turbos are diesels"
Me 'walks away, shaking head in disgust'

Girl at work moaning that her new Corsa was slower than her old one "but it's got a bigger engine, it must be faster" The old one was a 1.4 petrol, new one was a 1.5 diesel non-turbo

[petrolveins]

I forgot who I was taking to today, and started talking about turbo-diesels and about torque thinking my cousin might be interested to hear it, since she was having a little trouble with choosing the right gear, the car was a VW Jetta TDI just so you can picture the scene. Just as I say the words turbo-diesel she just turns round and says to me "oh is this a diesel? and whats a turbo?"

[Red Cabbage]

So how was the Nuremburg Thing?

[Mastodon2]

I have several times seen facebook statuses or been informed by a friend / colleague that they are taking a road trip to the Nuremburgring or the Nuringburgring. Jesus wept.

[NSX Shaz]

As regards my NSX of indeed any of the faster/exotic cars I've owned-
"It's about time you came down to the real world and owned something more sensible"

[RB5]

petrolveins said:

I forgot who I was taking to today, and started talking about turbo-diesels and about torque thinking my cousin might be interested to hear it, since she was having a little trouble with choosing the right gear, the car was a VW Jetta TDI just so you can picture the scene. Just as I say the words turbo-diesel she just turns round and says to me "oh is this a diesel? and whats a turbo?"

What did she do at fuel stations?