Is this the most desperate advert in the history of motoring

[paranoid airbag]

I like the BMW one no technical details, yes (and those drivers look dodgy) but it does at least show the car. A lot. Unlike a recent hyundai ad, advertising... I just don't know. Easter Island, possibly. Perhaps the last two seconds showed the car, then the hyundai logo. I know that's a popular technique, but they genuinely, at no point mention the model of car?

[dundarach]

BMW because everyone has already driven one....

Edited by dundarach on Thursday 21st April 20:32

[chris1roll]

TRUENOSAM said:

I have a old magazine with a similar vendetta but it was Volvo attempting to state that the "new" Volvo 340 was much the superior vehicle to the BMW 320 (E30)

Slightly O/T..

Hard to believe I know, but if BMW had had the cashflow and engine production capacity in the early to mid 70's, it would have actually been a BMW!

Third paragraph
http://www.volvoclub.org.uk/prof_300.shtml

[rottie102]

The most desperate advert must be one of new Renaults on the radio, I think it was Clio.
NOTHING about the car, nothing about performance, handling etc. The main and only feature advertised - IT'S GOT TOM TOM BUILT IN.

[skip_1]

Twincam16 said:

I found an old motoring supplement under the floorboards acting as carpet lining that provided a similarly good read. There was a Lada Riva advert in there from 1987 (year of the D-plate) that portrayed a person with a 'Dunce' hat (with a 'D' on it), suggesting that if you bought a second-hand car rather than a new D-plate Lada, you were an idiot.

I was looking to see if anyone had by chance uploaded it when I stumbled upon this gem:

"A completely new car" (a 20-year-old Fiat)

"This handsome newcomer has a streamlined bodyline with unique two-tone coachline and recessed doorhandles" (we've painted a stripe down the side of a 20-year-old Fiat)

"The advanced 1294cc engine with belt drive overhead cam gives powerful performance and a quiet ride" (we've fitted a 20-year old Fiat with a stripe down the side with an engine from a new tractor)

"Lada's reputation for safety is evident in the Riva which has several standard features especially designed for safer motoring" (This bestriped, tractor-engined 20-year-old Fiat has slightly better headlights with wipers, a legally-required laminated windscreen and rubber bits on the bumpers. We've also fitted seatbelts and brakes)

And then on top of all that they try and make out that this stripey, ageing tractor-engined Fiat with its headlights, windscreen, bumpers, seatbelts and brakes is some kind of luxury saloon:

My uncle had one of these. I remember reading the owners manual which boasted about the wind tunnel testing

On the plus side, I found the rear seats to be the comfiest I have ever sat on

[Mr Dave]

Zod said:

kambites said:

911motorsport said:

Then there was always this ad too!

To be fair, 0-60 in 6.7 seconds is still respectable for a hot hatch today. Back then it was pretty damned quick.

If terrifying, given the torque steer.

Astra VXR is worse actually. Much nicer place to be but im fond of the MG maestro and montego.

A well sorted rover Tomcat is a better car than the new ones in many ways too.

Ie it didnt look like a boring shopping car.

[Scrumper]

ADEuk said:

RS404 said:

Unleash the relentless power of the quadrozantal engine

I saw that too. What the chuff is a 'quadrozontal*' engine? All I can think is that it means 'four cylindered.' A bit like my bipedal wife - phwoar.

Excellent thread OP, thanks for starting.

• It is PH; had to correct your spelling, even of this made-up word

[Dangerous2]

i think it means a boxer engine

[Scrumper]

Dangerous2 said:

i think it means a boxer engine

Well it is a Scooby. We'll never know. Every link on Google for that word points to that advert.

[ChevronB19]

I actually (very nearly) complained to the ASA about a car ad - remember the TV ad for volvo (late 90's, early 2000's?) with the doctor, air ambulance and the 'this car saves lives' strapline?

No cars save lives - ok the doctor driving one could, but not the car. A similar one was another ad for volvo, probably in the late 80's where it has a side impact and a cassette tape flies up in the air, only for the driver to catch it in his fingers, implying all that would happen if you were slammed from the side at circa 30 mph was a slight annoyance with outdated audio technology... I also hated the toyota (?) one with the guy in the back seat and the strapline 'this car drives itself'.

I mean - sheesh - I am a true petrolhead, but even I recognise they can be bloody lethal things - these ads were true examples of 'if you buy our car you'll be ok no matter how crap a driver you are' - an attitude that is increasingly obvious on the road

(sorry to put a damper on the humour, I've had a crap day and am unusually grumpy!)

[Twincam16]

rottie102 said:

The most desperate advert must be one of new Renaults on the radio, I think it was Clio.
NOTHING about the car, nothing about performance, handling etc. The main and only feature advertised - IT'S GOT TOM TOM BUILT IN.

The determination of Joe and Jo Public to confine map-reading to the dustbin of history is extremely worrying. A lot of people I know don't carry a back-up map if their satnav fails and are totally dependent on it for directions.

If you rely on a satnav, you never actually know where you're going. It does, you don't. I wish more people considered this before banging on about 'convenience'.

[Lost soul]

Twincam16 said:

Rawwr said:

It has everything from head-restraints to full carpeting!

The 'lap of luxury', apparently.

You could not beat good old dog st brown interiour trim back in the day

[matchmaker]

RS404 said:

"Quadrozontal engine"

[Beyond Rational]

The Alfa Mito Spotify (or Radio for those that don't understand) Advert -

"Once in a while a car comes along that sets your pulse racing. You're driving along in your perfectly nice little car and all of a sudden you see it, cooly gliding past on sport alloy wheels, its state of the art DNA technology set to dynamic drive.

Breathlessly you say to yourself: 'I want one of those'..."

[red_rover]

Right on the money there.

[poing]

Twincam16 said:

denniswise9 said:

Or even more bizarrely:



"Buy a Renault 14 - it looks like a piece of fruit!"

Hmmm:

That was my first car!! Loved it and it didn't have a piece of rust anywhere on it, it did however burst into flames so I guess it wasn't entirely like a pear after all.

[bob1179]

dundarach said:

BMW because everyone has already driven one....

Edited by dundarach on Thursday 21st April 20:32

That is a great advert.

[k-ink]

It was great looking back through these ancient adverts. Brings back memories of reading my Dad's car mags as a kid.

It's amazing the silly items which used to seem impressive on new high spec cars back then. I remember being impressed with alloy wheels, electric windows and a digital green clock. We are so spoiled today yet it's so easy to forget.

[marksx]

[911motorsport]

Stylish lines! and 25BHP