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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a
handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he
had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will
you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she
might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her
husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the
house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered,"and had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, It's a Ferrari.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a
handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he
had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will
you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she
might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her
husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the
house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered,"and had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, It's a Ferrari.
A driver gets pulled for speeding. The officer asks for his driving license. The driver says "I've been banned for DD 3 times so I am afraid I don't have one." Officer asks for his registration. The driver replies "well I stole this car so I don't have one of those either". Officer asks him where he's been and the driver replies " well I just robbed this bank so I have a boot full of money nad a dead body cos this woman got in the way, I was on my way to dump the body". The officer goes to his car, relates the story back to control and calls for backup. The inspector arrives and says "open the boot" The boot is empty so the inspector says to the driver "My officer told me you had robbed a bank and had a boot full of money and a dead body, he also said you were banned from driving, had no license and no registration because this car was stolen" The driver hands the inspector his driving license and registration and says "The lying bastard will be telling you I was speeding next", 
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