Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 21]

[anonymous-user]

An E500 seller who hasn't been hitting the crack pipe when deciding a selling price, that's a real unicorn.

While waiting for the PH monkeys to delete my account once and for all I thought I'd share the micro (nano?) barge I have "won" at auction for £900 +fees. It's a 2002 SLK320 with 89k on the clock and in very rude health with no rust found but very yellow headlights and a mild Geralding. Should polish up very nicely.






I consider this a nano barge because it has recirculating ball steering like a 70s barge, the chassis of the worst ever C class, a 3.2 litre V6 with one spark plug too many and one valve too few in each cylinder, a cuckbox, and the handling prowess of a space hopper. Picking up tomorrow, and immediately taking it for a "shake down" drive from Bristol to London. It's been inspected by WorldBoss during a cigarette break, so anything could happen. Wish me luck.

Edited by anonymous-user on Monday 27th March 01:09

[martynr]

Macron said:

Snip.


Honda Legend, the tax will irk but think of the savings through pure reliability. Probably. No not, but retirees got time on their hands to tinker if need be. 2.5k is cheap.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/2022111617...

Macron, have you been tinkering with your cars or do you have some kind of ramp fetish? Asking for a friend.

I like the newer gen. Legend even though it looks less legendary than the older generation. I thought there was a dead badger in the boot. The mats look so rough that they are better to be disposed off.


I am sad to announce that Legend has been discontinued in 2021. At that time it managed to have some nice features:
"Designed for use in stop-and-go traffic, Traffic Jam Pilot allowed the Legend to drive, stop and resume driving within the same lane while maintaining a proper following distance from the vehicle ahead. Honda also noted drivers could “watch television/DVD on the navigation screen or operate the navigation system to search for a destination address” while the function was active."
Basically you could fiddle with yourself while in a traffic jam. What else could you want?

[anonymous-user]

Transverse engine in a Legend though, makes it a car for your kids to learn in or for your old mum to drive to church, it's not a proper car.

[Mammasaid]

stickleback123 said:

While waiting for the PH monkeys to delete my account once and for all I thought I'd share the micro (nano?) barge I have "won" at auction for £900 +fees. It's a 2002 SLK320 with 89k on the clock and in very rude health with no rust found but very yellow headlights and a mild Geralding. Should polish up very nicely.

It will need a whole vat's worth of polish, by the looks of it, on those headlamps!

Please stay around so that we can laugh at sympathise with your progress.

[Macron]

Top purchase SB! Let the mods convince you to avoid deletion, they like that for their figures, and you really should stay.

martynr said:

Macron, have you been tinkering with your cars or do you have some kind of ramp fetish? Asking for a friend.

Not since I had one of these, a fabulous way to avoid the ulez expansion.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/2023032455...

[tobinen]

Great stuff SB123.

I must confess to looking at R171s on BCA but the rear subframe stories put me off

[Hereward]

Mammasaid said:

It will need a whole vat's worth of polish, by the looks of it, on those headlamps!...

Not so much a polish but rather urgent double cataract surgery.

That's a lot of car for not much money provided underside corrosion is under control. Roll on Spring.

[QBee]

I'm sure I saw a Yoof Tood video on it somewhere. I think toothpaste might have been involved.

[SimonTheSailor]

Macron said:

Mondeo 3.0, practical 5 door,

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/2023030750...

E500 saloon. They'll think you've won on a scratchcard despite it being mid thread.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/2023031853...

I'm honestly not being picky at these prices, just trying to work things out before travelling (again).
Has that Mondeo got a couple of creases in the driver and rear passenger door ? Or is it reflections ?
If that were an estate (if they did one ?) He'd have the money already...

The MOT history on that E500 has no mention of rust - blimey. Seems a bargain - what goes wrong on these ? Shock absorbers have had a light misting of oil for the last 2/3 years - are they part of some silly system or some nice yellow things you can buy for a moderate amount of money ?

[anonymous-user]

Hereward said:

Not so much a polish but rather urgent double cataract surgery.

That's a lot of car for not much money provided underside corrosion is under control. Roll on Spring.

Rather unbelievably it appears entirely corrosion free. MOT history suggests it's done 800 - 1500 miles a year for the last 12 years so I assume it's been someone's summer toy.

The headlights will be an interesting test of the power of polishing, but it was cheap enough that if it needs a pair of new lights it's not the end of the world.

[Unreal]

stickleback123 said:

Rather unbelievably it appears entirely corrosion free. MOT history suggests it's done 800 - 1500 miles a year for the last 12 years so I assume it's been someone's summer toy.

The headlights will be an interesting test of the power of polishing, but it was cheap enough that if it needs a pair of new lights it's not the end of the world.

I've seen these which are corrosion free, low mileage too - apart from the rear subframe which has rotted out - so fingers crossed.

[B'stard Child]

stickleback123 said:

While waiting for the PH monkeys to delete my account once and for all I thought I'd share the micro (nano?) barge I have "won" at auction for £900 +fees. It's a 2002 SLK320 with 89k on the clock and in very rude health with no rust found but very yellow headlights and a mild Geralding. Should polish up very nicely.

<snip>

I consider this a nano barge because it has recirculating ball steering like a 70s barge, the chassis of the worst ever C class, a 3.2 litre V6 with one spark plug too many and one valve too few in each cylinder, a cuckbox, and the handling prowess of a space hopper. Picking up tomorrow, and immediately taking it for a "shake down" drive from Bristol to London. It's been inspected by WorldBoss during a cigarette break, so anything could happen. Wish me luck.

I like the R170 - not so much the V6 but as a result of breaking my old one for parts I have a few random spares for R170

From memory - Spare wheel, CL and Alarm unit and the "foam holder" it sits in - warning triangle and a Mesh net (Windbreak) the "F-heavy" steel under tray option - Shout if you need owt of that

[anonymous-user]

B'stard Child said:

I like the R170 - not so much the V6 but as a result of breaking my old one for parts I have a few random spares for R170

From memory - Spare wheel, CL and Alarm unit and the "foam holder" it sits in - warning triangle and a Mesh net (Windbreak) the "F-heavy" steel under tray option - Shout if you need owt of that

Are you on the barge renegade WhatsApp group? I'm curious as to what this steel under tray is!

Why not keen on the V6? I drove an SLK230k a million years ago and found the mix of four pot engine note, low end softness, and slurring cuckbox most unsporty, I was hoping with a better engine note and more even power the V6 might be fun even with an auto.

[Macron]

SimonTheSailor said:

I'm honestly not being picky at these prices, just trying to work things out before travelling (again).
Has that Mondeo got a couple of creases in the driver and rear passenger door ? Or is it reflections ?
If that were an estate (if they did one ?) He'd have the money already...

You might be right, when facing the other way over the drying puddles you don’t seem to get the same effect. Worth an ask and video call maybe. The badges looked Halfords to me, but seller says it’s one of 37. Anyone with any blue oval intel know the reality?

SimonTheSailor said:

The MOT history on that E500 has no mention of rust - blimey. Seems a bargain - what goes wrong on these ? Shock absorbers have had a light misting of oil for the last 2/3 years - are they part of some silly system or some nice yellow things you can buy for a moderate amount of money ?

I would say “see BM’s thread”, but that might put you off. So how about we say nothing, nothing at all goes wrong with them, that’s more titivation. Look forward to seeing the single train ticket picture

[SimonTheSailor]

I thought the badges were Halfords too - must be fairly rare as others are ST's ..... or something....

[SimonTheSailor]

Apparently not a limited edition, it's just limited in the fact hardly anybody bought them - so rare rather than LTD Edition.

Good old internet - this is the guy enquiring about it after acquisition - doesn't say much but does describe it as 'immaculate' -

https://www.fordownersclub.com/forums/topic/141618...

[B'stard Child]

stickleback123 said:

B'stard Child said:

I like the R170 - not so much the V6 but as a result of breaking my old one for parts I have a few random spares for R170

From memory - Spare wheel, CL and Alarm unit and the "foam holder" it sits in - warning triangle and a Mesh net (Windbreak) the "F-heavy" steel under tray option - Shout if you need owt of that

Are you on the barge renegade WhatsApp group? I'm curious as to what this steel under tray is!

Nope not on the WhatsApp Barge Group (I am on the Bicester April one if that helps)

It's this (post refurbishment) had it shot blasted, hot zinc galved and then powder coated





It did look like this





Was an option to replace the plastic one that normally ends up lost/damaged

stickleback123 said:

Why not keen on the V6? I drove an SLK230k a million years ago and found the mix of four pot engine note, low end softness, and slurring cuckbox most unsporty, I was hoping with a better engine note and more even power the V6 might be fun even with an auto.

My 230 was 6 spd manual, had the supercharger silencer removed and was not far off the BHP of the 3.2 V6 - could have done the pulley mod (bought the pulley) but never bothered as it was a nice balance as it was

[Bear-n]

SimonTheSailor said:

Apparently not a limited edition, it's just limited in the fact hardly anybody bought them - so rare rather than LTD Edition.

Good old internet - this is the guy enquiring about it after acquisition - doesn't say much but does describe it as 'immaculate' -

https://www.fordownersclub.com/forums/topic/141618...

If you are interested, you may want to have in your making inquiries back pocket that it's dropped a third since it was first listed.

https://totalcarcheck.co.uk/FreeCheck?regno=ea05gy...

[SimonTheSailor]

Blimey - that's celever stuff. He does say 'dropped considerably' - but then I did also realise MOT is up in 10 days time - and tax goes up in a few days.

[Macron]

SimonTheSailor said:

Blimey - that's celever stuff. He does say 'dropped considerably' - but then I did also realise MOT is up in 10 days time - and tax goes up in a few days.

Hmm, just purchased in Jan, flogging now pre ticket after perhaps 2k miles.

Naturally you’d want an MOT, if that door isn’t wiggly then I’d still think a fresh ticket and 2k is a perfectly reasonable buy. Badges in the bin and away you go.