Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 21]

[anonymous-user]

I will get out there in a bit with a camera etc.

I have just done the inaugural tour with my lad and he is very interested (chip off the old block/never had a choice). The things he is most compelled by are 'automatic' things. Blinds, the cup holder, the door pockets, windows, 'go away filthy front passenger seat' function etc. He has already broken one ash tray...

[sly fox]

ferrisbueller said:

Things of that ilk are increasingly sought after but agree they're under appreciated.

I used to know a few folks that worked at Michelin's Clermont facility - an ex girlfriends BIL- in fact one of them headed up Michelin Motorsport efforts for WEC and MotoGP. Got me into a lot of races, motorhomes and paddocks for a few years.

I was lucky enough to visit the Charade test track that Michelin owned and was surprised to see a Honda CRX ( labelled Bollide/Bullet for the French market) lapping at high speeds on a wet circuit.

Yep the chief test driver had an early 90's CRX as a track day fun car.

[Jim the Sunderer]

I'm trying to dull the pain from my mate of 25 years being a secret paedophile, due in court in a few months for downloading.


So we think me spending five grand on a right old barge I don't need or can afford right now is a healthy treatment?

[Speed addicted]

Jim the Sunderer said:

I'm trying to dull the pain from my mate of 25 years being a secret paedophile, due in court in a few months for downloading.


So we think me spending five grand on a right old barge I don't need or can afford right now is a healthy treatment?

Whatever works for you! That must be horrendous.

What’s the car?

[TyrannosauRoss Lex]

Jim the Sunderer said:

I'm trying to dull the pain from my mate of 25 years being a secret paedophile, due in court in a few months for downloading.


So we think me spending five grand on a right old barge I don't need or can afford right now is a healthy treatment?

Jesus that's horrific! Can't imagine what that's like for you.

[Jim the Sunderer]

It's not a situation I'm well equipped to navigate.

At least I've started to like the poor driving characteristics of this Volvo at low speeds, reminds me of 1980s movies.

An XJS would be nice if stupid...

Then the police safeguarding officer phoned me to tell me what's what. This is madness

[martynr]

I also attended some car show at chichester last Saturday. The only picture I took on a phone was this beemer


It might look like a barge, but it is far from being one. Even with an interesting engine. The seats were so hard that it was uncomfortable sitting on them, never mind driving...

[anonymous-user]

Jim the Sunderer said:

It's not a situation I'm well equipped to navigate.

At least I've started to like the poor driving characteristics of this Volvo at low speeds, reminds me of 1980s movies.

An XJS would be nice if stupid...

Then the police safeguarding officer phoned me to tell me what's what. This is madness

Boody hell, what a horror. About 8 years ago it was revealed than an uncle (through marriage) was an internet nonce when his own daughter went looking through his computer because she was suspicous, and phoned the police. I couldn't stand the bloke and he looked the part and even then it was a lot to take in, if it was an actual friend I can only imagine how difficult that must be

[Phil Dicky]

Jim the Sunderer said:

I'm trying to dull the pain from my mate of 25 years being a secret paedophile, due in court in a few months for downloading.


So we think me spending five grand on a right old barge I don't need or can afford right now is a healthy treatment?

Jesus that is awful.

[Raino144]

Jim the Sunderer said:

It's not a situation I'm well equipped to navigate.

At least I've started to like the poor driving characteristics of this Volvo at low speeds, reminds me of 1980s movies.

An XJS would be nice if stupid...

Then the police safeguarding officer phoned me to tell me what's what. This is madness

Sorry for what has happened to you Jim. I would humbly recommend you seek a professional to work through it all. I have relatives who have dealt with similar in a professional capacity and would not have gotten through without it.

[Jim the Sunderer]

Raino144 said:

Sorry for what has happened to you Jim. I would humbly recommend you seek a professional to work through it all. I have relatives who have dealt with similar in a professional capacity and would not have gotten through without it.

I've access to one of those phone lines through work, I should probably use it.

But ignoring my mundane horrors I just saw an old boy in a late green XJ6.

My imagination painted a picture of him being a thread guy visiting the canoe bloke's stomping grounds.

[Beaurepaire Canary]

Jim the Sunderer said:

I've access to one of those phone lines through work, I should probably use it.

But ignoring my mundane horrors I just saw an old boy in a late green XJ6.

My imagination painted a picture of him being a thread guy visiting the canoe bloke's stomping grounds.

Best wishes in, as others have said, must be the most difficult of circumstances.

DO seek professional help as Raino has suggested, especially if as you say you have an avenue open you.

£5k you say? XJ-S you say?

Get it bought, you'll then need to seek more professional help dealing with the consequences!

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225017352567


Do NOT follow Gerald to Canoeist's Cove, it never ends well there

Stay on thread, we'll do our best to not undo the professional's help for you.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Jim the Sunderer said:

I've access to one of those phone lines through work, I should probably use it.

Blimey Jim, that's awful. You know this already, but don't avoid seeking someone to talk it through with, ideally a professional, but even if it's just one of us. Bon courage.

[Easternlight]

Following on from the Granada love here's two of mine.
Sorry about the photo of actual photos but I don't think digital cameras had even been thought of then!
Both were 2.0L's with cloth seats, change your own gears and exercise widows, the only luxury was the mono radio with a single center speaker in the top of the dash
These were my third and forth cars and I had them when all my friends were hankering after XR2's and 3's.
I tthink these are the reason I am drawn to this thread

[0a]

Jim the Sunderer said:

Raino144 said:

Sorry for what has happened to you Jim. I would humbly recommend you seek a professional to work through it all. I have relatives who have dealt with similar in a professional capacity and would not have gotten through without it.

I've access to one of those phone lines through work, I should probably use it.

But ignoring my mundane horrors I just saw an old boy in a late green XJ6.

My imagination painted a picture of him being a thread guy visiting the canoe bloke's stomping grounds.

Sorry to hear that Jim, and all the best. Do seek help, even if only for a few pointers as to how you may feel in coming weeks/months so you can watch out for yourself.

I guess it's in the nature of this that you don't know something like that is going on until you suddenly do.

[dscam]

Easternlight said:

Following on from the Granada love here's two of mine.
Sorry about the photo of actual photos but I don't think digital cameras had even been thought of then!
Both were 2.0L's with cloth seats, change your own gears and exercise widows, the only luxury was the mono radio with a single center speaker in the top of the dash
These were my third and forth cars and I had them when all my friends were hankering after XR2's and 3's.
I tthink these are the reason I am drawn to this thread

Absolutely splendid! I enjoy the fact this was from a time you really had to value something to consider using one of your 25 or 36 exposures to take a picture of it then have the lottery of SupaSnaps delivering an in-focus, nicely framed image.

Jim - that is a horrendous situation for you. Concur with everything already said by others and hope you get the support you need. If we can be a welcome distraction here please let us know.

[anonymous-user]

Esteemed friends,

A chum and I spent all day cleaning the A8 inside and out. I feel like I know the car a good deal better and it is undoubtedly a much more hygienic and sweet-smelling place to be now.

We began by hoovering out the inside of the boot. Carpets out, the works. Good old clean up and a titter at the swing-down boat anchor shopping hooks.

Mats out to be blasted at a later stage with pressure washer (Stihl one, very good if shopping for one). Seat base ripped up in rear to find some clues. The clues we found led to the following conclusions:

The owner had a blind son who liked nintendo games and small plastic toys. He was also a keen chef and had been working quite intensively on the back seat to acquire cooking qualifications. Beneath the seat was a lot of Henry hoover and a lot of antibacterial spray but we got there. Hoovered carpets, scrubbed every inch of leather and plastic, pulled open every stitched leather junction and wiped extensively with wet-wipes. Wet-wipes that ended up looking exactly like they might if used for their intended purpose. I suppose we were wiping two bits of (albeit cow) skin with grot betwixt.

The steering wheel and gearknob needed over 10 wipes between them until they 'wiped clean'. the carpets needed a good old sucking from Henry to get rid of the small white dog hairs generously sprinkled about.

Interior done, we had a nice simple lunch of beans on toast (Branston and Heinz blended to make up required volume) and fired egg. As a condiment, I produced Henderson's Relish. My chum assumed it was just Worcester sauce by another name... I had to explain talk like that would see him lynched in certain parts of North England. As it was, we were in Wiltshire and safe.

Periodically through the day, my partner appeared to supervise or bring tea. She was two things: surprised at how modern the thing looked and pleased that we were as happy as pigs in tihs to be cleaning such a majestic beast.

With the inside done, we got the Stihl super soaker out and began to clean in this order: Water, touchless foam, water, shampoo with mits, shammy. Ot looked great at this point but we both agreed it felt a bit 'grainy' as we were drying it. Having 'done' a few cars before, I asked if my chum had the time and the strength of spirit to clay the 458m long slug. He did and the benefit was immediately seen and felt on the second drying; no dragging on the microfibre drying cloths and a lot of detritus entrained into the clay. The body is straight and the paint, 'Northern Lights Blue LZ7R' is in great nick.

We now have a beautifully clean long-slug. It has been viewed by father in law to be who is a golf-batter. He has a new car every 14 days it seems and was not even quietly impressed. My mum has seen it and loves it (she is coming to France with us so that's important). Mother in law to be has seen it and loves it, disbelieving of how much room there is. Very importantly, my young lad is absolutely revved up about it.

So inspired was I by this thread, the cost of living crisis, barges and the seemingly insatiable thirst for ETsy-ised hand-made, artis-anal tat that seems to sell so well, I made my own keyring. Orders being taken now...



Also, here are some action shots. I am very grateful to my chum for his enthusiasm and also for his satanic liquid that turned the wheels crimson and then like new (Magma by Autoglym). I could have stopped at every stage and videoed and photographed but we were both having such a nice time, we barely bothered...









Proper glamour shots to follow, also details of servicing bits I do before we go.

[mondayo]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Jim the Sunderer said:

I've access to one of those phone lines through work, I should probably use it.

Blimey Jim, that's awful. You know this already, but don't avoid seeking someone to talk it through with, ideally a professional, but even if it's just one of us. Bon courage.

Awful awful news Jim. Not sure how easy it is to come to terms with, or process that.

Definitely get some support and some car retail therapy.

[anonymous-user]

Jim the Sunderer said:

It's not a situation I'm well equipped to navigate.

At least I've started to like the poor driving characteristics of this Volvo at low speeds, reminds me of 1980s movies.

An XJS would be nice if stupid...

Then the police safeguarding officer phoned me to tell me what's what. This is madness

Buy this Daimler Double 6

As for what transpired with your acquaintance, that is mind-bending for sure. Professional help will be time and money well spent.

[Beaurepaire Canary]

Easternlight said:

Following on from the Granada love here's two of mine.
Sorry about the photo of actual photos but I don't think digital cameras had even been thought of then!
Both were 2.0L's with cloth seats, change your own gears and exercise widows, the only luxury was the mono radio with a single center speaker in the top of the dash
These were my third and forth cars and I had them when all my friends were hankering after XR2's and 3's.
I tthink these are the reason I am drawn to this thread

you make an interesting point there "I tthink these are the reason I am drawn to this thread"

I wonder what other "exotica" set bargeistes on their way with, as r129sl calls it, "the disease"?

was it childhood, early motoring experience as with you, or just random "wow" and you're hooked ?

I think mine could have been an early memory of a local Royal visit, and enquiring how could that car (Rolls, I think PhantomVI?) move without the engine running? - it is, son, it's just a very special engine (we return to the Cortina at end of the day for comparison, and park next to neighbour's Talbot Horizon for even more contrast!)