The V8 Bike Bus

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573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Thursday 13th February 2020
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Regular readers may remember that the lower corner of the front valence was damaged by the place that made my exhaust.



I recently booked a mobile smart repair guy to come out and repair the damage. He's local to me and has done work for me before. I can never fault the quality of the work and his price is really reasonable. He's also a petrol head and currently has an E90 M3.









He repaired some small marks on the corners of the bumper plastics too and charged me £120 for everything. No complaints and the car looks great again.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Thursday 13th February 2020
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I wanted to tidy up the tired steering wheel in the E53. I initially thought I'd just get the standard one retrimmed. However, I find I push the gear selector straight over to manual when I'm driving it and then drive it in manual. To improve the driving experience, I decided to add paddles to the wheel, so I tracked down an E46 M3 SMG steering wheel to swap over.

I sent the wheel off to Royal for a retrim, opting for M tri-colour stitching and the black alcantara. I initially considered the OEM grey from the CSL, but Jack informed me this aftermarket black is much harder wearing. I also decided I'd get the lower facia panel trimmed to match.

The wheel turned up today and I refitted the multifunction button panel. I'm really pleased with how it's turned out.



In between the rain showers I went outside and swapped the wheels over. I knew the E46 M3 wheel was a straight-swap for the pre-facelift E53 wheel but wasn't sure if it would fit mine with the existing slip ring. It turns out it does, so the swap was relatively straight forward.












The wheel feels really tactile and it's a better size than the standard E53 one.

Next job will be making the paddles active...

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Friday 14th February 2020
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Thanks. Yeah I've wondered if i'll need the slipring when I do the paddle wiring. Fitting the wheel as it is was completely plug-and-play with the existing E53 parts.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Monday 8th February 2021
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LOL!

I did sell it and replaced it with a 1981 Dodge B250 van and a Cayenne Turbo. Obvious replacements really. laugh










I've kept in touch with the chap that bought the 4.8is. He's a member on here and did say that he might update this thread. I know he quickly got the SMG paddles working on the M3 steering wheel, something I hadn't got round to.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Tuesday 9th February 2021
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Err, less character to the overall car and even more of an image problem with other road users if that kind of thing bothers you.

Spec wise they were both very high and sat near the top of their manufacturer's ranges when new. Both were really well optioned with the BMW being £68k but the 957 TT being six figures with its options. They have similar tech and do similar stuff. The BMW felt slightly end-of-lifecycle with it being at the end of E53 production and some tech having been carried right through. The Porsche feels more of its age and with seemingly more recent iterations to its tech. I think the aftermarket high-end Carplay install mine has probably skews that feeling though.

To drive, the BMW feels better in many ways. It's more driver focused. The steering is better weighted, has more feel and is less corrupted. It feels almost RWD at times. The Cayenne's steering is lighter and over-assisted, it's less precise and is corrupted by the wheels being driven and feels very 4WD when modulating or applying power. I think the Porsche would benefit from more camber and a play with some toe.

The Porsche is much quicker, obviously. The BMW lifted its skirts well for an old, big girl and could still punch when needed and make a gap or overtake with ease. The Porsche is on a different level though and for such a big bus piles on speed really well. It has incredible traction too and it'd take something serious or electric to really trouble it in a TLGP. Figures seem to differ for it but tend to be quoted at 4.7 - 5.0 for 0-60 and that feels perfectly feasible. in something so big that makes you very aware of the mass and inertia that's building if you keep your foot in for extended periods. Luckily the brakes are incredible. The BMW, like all contemporary BMWs had brakes that were marginal for the performance of the car. Conversely, with huge Brembo 6 pots on the front, 4 pots on the rear and massive discs the Porsche brakes are spec'd to meet the car's needs properly as per most Porsches.

The worst thing about the Porsche, other than its image, is the noise it makes. The ridiculously good sound the 4.8is made only makes this worse. I've gone from that incredible burbling v8 rumble to something that sounds like a washing machine. I can imagine that some would choose the GTS for that reason alone, but you'd miss out on a pile of performance. I'm hoping with some changes I can make it sound much better than it does too.

I've already made quite a few changes but the next ones are to address its voice and make it sound appropriate and hopefully free up a 100 or maybe 200bhp more.

Edited by 573 on Tuesday 9th February 14:41

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Tuesday 9th February 2021
quotequote all
I could put some stuff in here I guess. It's still a V8 and most certainly a bike bus.

Ride is similar between them both. I've compromised both by lowering the air suspnsion and fitting spacers. The actual kit under the Cayenne is pretty impressive though. The air struts have massively more volume and much more range of adjustment. It's also smarter and will adjust its height dynamically with speed and in conjunction with the optional PDCC that it has fitted. This obviously stiffens the springs but also stiffens the ARBs and does some dynamic levelling. It tows ridiculously well and loaded with bikes hung off the back like a huge lever its attitude on the road doesn't change at all.

The Cayenne also has proper off-road credentials. It's terrain mode lifts it right up giving it huge clearance but it also has diff locks front, rear and centre.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
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Alright, I'll add a few things to bring it up to where I am with it now...

It was empty when I collected it so I quickly sought out some Optimax and assumed the position that I seem to be in fairly often with this thing.



I went for this particular one because it had relatively low miles (69k), FSH and a very good spec, highlights being things like - alcantara trimmed headlining, pillars etc, extended leather including dashboard, Bose sound, 21" Sport wheels, heated front and rear seats, sports memory seats, Sport body trim (arch extensions etc), dynamic headlights, PDCC (active body control etc.) Mainly though I wanted black with a black interior. Ideally I wanted one with the GTS blackout pack for the chrome but they seem very rare and I also wanted a factory towbar. This hasn't got the towbar, but it did have 'Preparation for detachable trailer coupling' which means the wiring for towbar wiring is in place from the front fuse box to the boot area where it's terminated. Hopefully making retrofit easier.

The previous owner had updated the media by fitting an aftermarket Pioneer Carplay system. I'm not really into aftermarket looking stereos but actually this really brings the user experience of the car up-to-date. I use Waze and Spotify seamlessly with it. It also has an integrated reversing cam.



The stereo with Bose upgrade seems good. In the boot under the incredibly neat tools and compressor (which is for the suspension but also has an outlet to use tools or inflate tyres) there's a sub neatly stashed which seems to integrate well.





Obviously the main event is the 4.8l twin turbo V8. It allegedly makes ~500hp / 700NM.



Traction is impressive as you'd imagine with huge tyres and 4wd and according to the figures at the time 0-60 is ~4.7s and the limiter is set at 171mph. As you're aware of how much mass is being hauled along and that growing sense of inertia building, it feels genuinely quick when you stand on the throttle from standstill.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
quotequote all
It had a few minor issues with it. For some reason the OSR exhaust trim piece was missing and it also had a 'headlight fault' warning on the dash. I was assured that this was because it had recently had a new headlight control unit (it has one per side) and this hadn't been coded to the car. I was happy to believe this or deal with it if it turned out to be more involved, especially after negotiating the price down.



I ordered the exhaust trim...



...and clicked it into place.



And then got on with the actual important stuff; Making it sit properly. So as a starter I fitted lowering links. These are a simple adjustable link, fitted in place of a fixed length one, to fit to the level sensor at each wheel that trick the car into thinking it's higher than it is. It then self-levels itself to a lower height. The longer you make the link, the lower that corner of the car ends up.



There's an element of trial and error with these but on this car the suspension travel is so much that I could raise it to an off-road height and access the links and pop them on and off for adjustment without even needing to jack the car up.



The added complexity on this car is that it also adjusts its own rideheight dynamically with speed. Exceed 80 mph or select 'Sport' dynamic mode and it lowers the suspension. I needed to account for that to maintain sufficient ride height and bump clearance.

This was an initial stab which was too low.




573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
quotequote all
Next, spacers. I did lots of measuring and decided on a 25mm front 27mm rear. Interestingly Porsche sold 14mm rear spacers for these as an option. I was interested in filling those big arches properly and giving the car a more purposeful stance. This is largely for aesthetics but obviously has dynamic consequences. In theory you reduce the effective spring rate of the roadspring (air in this case), increase track and also change numerous things to do with bump / scrub etc that most of you here understand more than most people who bolt spacers to cars just for aesthetics. I want this to drive well so I'm after a balance between standard, making changes I can for aesthetic reasons and balancing them with functionality.

Spacers fitted and the suspension height iterated for about the 5th time I was starting to finally feel the look was how I wanted it.






573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
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Next drive out a weird noise turned into a very loud clunk. I stopped and saw this.



I got it in the garage and started to investigate.



This was what I found.







Most parts were either completely missing, presumably smashed up and ejected out the hole or completely mangled.

The handbrake shoe was twisted out of shape and the friction material was completely missing.



I had a worry that the spacers had caused this so I measured the new studs vs the OEM ones and established that they protruded no further into the hub. In fact there was loads of clearance in that area. So I stripped the other side down to see if that would give me any clues.

The friction material was very tired and seemed to be breaking up.



...and in fact was hardly attached and could easily lift.



This allowed the broken piece of friction material to slide over the rest of the shoe and jam the disc. I have no way of knowing if this is actually what happened but it felt plausible. With the handbrake jammed and 700NM turning it all I imagine it would start to fail quite quickly. Any pieces that broke up would end up inside the 'handbrake drum' of the disc bell and start to collide and jam with more parts causing a catastrophic failure. I imagine if I hadn't have stopped fairly quickly the disc would have completely failed and caused further damage to the caliper and other things in a chain reaction.

I got away with just needing to replace the broken and missing parts and fit new discs, pads and of course, handbrake shoes.


573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
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I'll sort it, thanks. However Edge isn't really a browser is it biggrin. Firefox, Chrome, Safari etc all manage.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
quotequote all
I really needed this to have a towbar and it didn't have one. I did a bit of research and found that the factory detachable one is a Westfalia. I found that you could buy the exact kit the factory fits and also buy a Westfalia loom that in theory should connect very easily with the prep Porsche had already done when building the car. The intention was to do everything with the parts it would have had from the factory to make it indistinguishable from a car that had the towbar fitted by Porsche during build.

The main issue that this was during 1st lockdown when the world and his wife had decided cycling was a great thing. All bicycles and all cycling accessories were sold out and this extended to bike carriers and towbars. I had to really search about to find the proper wiring kit and eventually struggled so hard to find the actual towbar kit that I ended up speaking to Westfalia themselves who said they were making them as fast as they could. Once they had one I managed to secure it and get it sent to the UK.



Both the wiring kit and towbar kit came with fantastic, detailed instructions and both parts were fairly straightforward to fit. As per all modern cars though there was just a long list of external and internal parts to remove, in sequence in order to do a proper job of the installation.

Main mechanical change was obviously to swap the aluminium bumper bar to a steel one with a towbar receiver.



Everything I came across was in good order but I still took the opportunity to Bilt Hamber 'Electrox', zinc everything relevant and get loads of Dynax into cavities and finally cover anything susceptible with ACF-50.



The only bit the instructions didn't cover was the cut out in the bumper to allow access for the towbar. I tried to find as many pics as I could to inform me and work out where I needed to cut but it was really hard to find anything of use. I ordered a flap from Porsche that I assumed fitted in after the hole was cut but this turned out to be for a completely different bumper, maybe a non-turbo. So I made some educated assumptions, cut a big hole in the bumper and fitted it.



Luckily it turned out to be perfect.





With the towbar removed everything is completely hidden as intended.



Once the trim was removed, the wiring was as straightforward as hoped. There was even a space for the relay block ready in a space in a rack of other electrical boxes in the side of the boot.



And the removable towbar fitted perfectly into the space designed for it.





Finally I could stick the bike carrier on and throw a bike on the back.


573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
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I really wanted the Cayenne to have the GTS trim option. That sees the window surrounds and pillar trims in satin black rather than the silver. I hate the silver trim and as you can imagine all the proper bits in black adds up to a huge amount from Porsche. I considered getting it painted but one day found myself near a local vinyl place that I knew had done some great work wrapping some racecars. I inquired and they gave me a very reasonable price to wrap all the silver bits in satin black vinyl to the correct automotive / exterior grade.

So I dropped it off, rode my bike home...



.....and returned later and collected it.



I'm very pleased with the outcome, especially for the price. I think it takes years off the car.

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
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Yeah it's growing. Still, 1% of the 30M users on one of the national services that I'm responsible for use it.

I'll sort the cert, but that domain is literally just for hosting images for posting on forums.


Edit: there was probably a joke in there about Chrome being deleted but it's too late now...

Edited by 573 on Wednesday 10th February 16:11

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
quotequote all
This is how it spent most of the bit of 2020 when we were actually allowed to travel to trails rather than ride from home. And it did a great job of it.

I thought this worth sharing as people often like to tell others what cars they should have. I've heard lots that nobody needs an SUV and estate cars do everything just as well. I've tried, and they really don't. Loaded up with 5 bikes they drive awfully, bordering on dangerous. The Porsche and the X5s before it with their extra mass and all round proper self-levelling suspension make light work of it and take this in their stride. The Porsche having the extra benefit of PDC and active body control, dynamically stiffening the ARBS too; It's also still able to beat most things in a TLGP when loaded up. laugh




573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
quotequote all
I got this into Owen Garages in Haywards Heath for Olly to undertake a service. I used all genuine Porsche parts. I also had the thermostat changed as I'd noticed it was often slow to come up to temp and as summer was turning into autumn I noticed when called on the heater took ages to get warm. While there it made sense to do the waterpump too. I'd also noticed the front pads were getting low, so lazily got Olly to do those while on his ramp. Some of the bits were reassuringly expensive; Genuine front pads are £260 +VAT for instance, although they are the size of house bricks for the 6 pots.

Then the MOT was due. I used Mr MOT in Burgess Hill as usual. The guys there are very good plus I helped them get their first website set up many years ago. The fact that Mid-Sussex Porsche main dealer also use them for MOTs is reassuring too.



Unfortunately it failed. laugh

Luckily only on tyres as one had a deep cut on an inside edge. I searched about for tyres, knowing I wanted to fit Michelin Pilot Sport 4s to it. Incredibly with the deal they had on Kwikfit were cheaper for 4 fitted than any of the mail order places could achieve to just deliver them.

I love how the Pilot Sport 4s work on road cars but they're also a really good looking tyre with a solid square sidewall. They're also a proper dark black compared to other tyres that are a dark grey (/ocd).



I then had Mobile Porsche Specialists visit to sort out the headlight module coding. They'd fitted it for the previous owner and neglected to code it so they came out to do it for free. While here I got the guy to blow his airline through all the sunroof drains too.



...and I'm rebuilding the house, hence the broken driveway. It'll get fixed soon. laugh

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Wednesday 10th February 2021
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Cosmetically the thing that let the car down most, were the wheels. They had various bits of kerb rash and paint chips. So I booked it into Wheel Works in Crawley as they've always done quality work for me before.



I'd had a massive wobble about how to refurbish the wheels since buying the car. Generally, silver wheels look best on almost every car. With the full GTS option from Porsche as new this would have been delivered with black trim but also had the option of black wheels. As the day of the refurb approached, I changed my mind back and forth between a nice fresh coat of silver and going full GTS and painting them black.

The wheel centres were tired too, so whichever colour I chose I'd need new centres to match. In the end I went to Mid-Sussex OPC and ordered new wheel centres which cemented my decision.



It was dark when I collected it, but I pulled it over the road to a garage forecourt to have a look.



I know painting them black will really divide opinion but it's given it the look I wanted. In many ways it actually seems more anonymous now, the huge wheels are less obvious. As with all black cars with black wheels they're also hard to photograph with a point-and-shoot (iphone) and look better in the metal.

As always the job done by Wheel Works is very good. The combination of filthy weather and my driveway still being a broken-up mess of a building site means the car is filthy though.





...and some quick pics from when out and about.





The weather is really grotty at the moment so it mainly looks filthy like this.


573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Thursday 11th February 2021
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In the process of shifting hosting now, should be on a new space with a valid SSL cert shortly...

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Thursday 11th February 2021
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....(so those of you that can't currentlhy see the pics will be able to.)

573

Original Poster:

317 posts

202 months

Thursday 11th February 2021
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Done. Can those of you that couldn't see the images now see them?




One of the other favourites of people in the 'tell other people what they should do with their cars' camp is the 'Why have you lowered an SUV?' brigade. This is simple. I did it because I think it looks better, it definitely rolls less and... it's completely adjustable still. It still has a matrix of different suspension settings offering damper stiffness, ARB stiffness etc but also 5 heights selectable in seconds.

In other words, if needed I press a button and it does this. Simple.



In most of the other pics it's in normal or 'low' setting. It has an even lower setting that drops it on its arse that's supposed to be for loading.