Satan's barge - 1983 Ferrari 400i

Satan's barge - 1983 Ferrari 400i

Author
Discussion

TR4man

5,229 posts

175 months

Saturday 1st April 2023
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Wasn’t that SL owned by another Pistonheader who also owned a car which was very similar to a 400?

CharlesdeGaulle

26,303 posts

181 months

Saturday 1st April 2023
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Rumdoodle said:
Good point, thanks. I shall report back. It's due an MOT - its last ever! - and I think it'll have to be rectified before then.

The next job was discs and pads all round. Straightforward stuff, although the cost of front discs, which are unique to this model - is now £1k each. Meantime, whittling the fleet down to one meant putting the remaining car up for sale, my Mercedes, which featured on a thread on here long ago. Now sold.

The number plate on the 400 is held on with sellotape there (classy!) but I've had some new ones made up since and fixed them properly.
When I came back in December, I was staying at a hotel in Old Windsor and realised that what used to be Maranello Sales was just down the road, so I pootled down and took a photo

My car was a Maranello demonstrator for the first year of its life, so it was familiar ground. You can see in that shot the colour difference of the front indicators.

With new brakes to complement the new tyres, she was gliding along beautifully. The only snag was the offside electric window motor packing up mid-afternoon on Christmas Eve, necessitating the removal of the doorcard and the manual adjustment of the glass just in time for the darkness and rain. This was all done outside and was easy enough. Everything came out intact except a few plastic clips that probably weren't designed to withstand removal. The last time the doorcard had been off, the doorframe had been sealed with a bin bag and tank tape, which had done a good job. It was a useful opportunity to inspect the state of the door and it was a bit grubby but completely intact with no corrosion around the drainholes and base. As of today, it's still not fixed as the parts are unobtainable new. I'm hoping my friendly local specialist can improvise a repair. The older cars were supplied with a handle that could be inserted into a hole in the doorcard as a manual crank back-up, but I don't have one and I wonder if they had dispensed with that by the time of the 400i. Anyway, the glass is intact and we'll get it sorted.

Went out to a New Year's Day meet at Stony Stratford

and evoked the music video of Pizza Guy by Touch Sensitive https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uXrXTSASK0

and then had a nice morning at the January Bicester Scramble.
Welcome back chum..

Rumdoodle

Original Poster:

709 posts

21 months

Sunday 2nd April 2023
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TR4man said:
Wasn’t that SL owned by another Pistonheader who also owned a car which was very similar to a 400?


Rumdoodle

Original Poster:

709 posts

21 months

Sunday 2nd April 2023
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CharlesdeGaulle said:
Welcome back chum..
wavey

TR4man

5,229 posts

175 months

Sunday 2nd April 2023
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Rumdoodle said:
TR4man said:
Wasn’t that SL owned by another Pistonheader who also owned a car which was very similar to a 400?
Ah, thought I recognised the style of writing!

Great, looking forward even more to your updates.

PowerslideSWE

1,116 posts

139 months

Sunday 2nd April 2023
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That is just fenomenal, what a car. Looking forward to this thread.

tobinen

9,235 posts

146 months

Sunday 2nd April 2023
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A very cool car indeed.

steveinfrance

1 posts

57 months

Sunday 2nd April 2023
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I will be interested to read the next instalment, in the late eighties, I had a 400i into my garage to cure a water leak, blocked radiator, downpipes to change both sides and poor hot starting. I never did cure the poor hot start, the client wanted it back before I had diagnosed why it did this.
Loved the car to drive, and often had a hankering to buy one.

theadman

546 posts

158 months

Tuesday 4th April 2023
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This is epic!

(and you had the sense to buy a car that wasn't a pile of bits...note to self)laugh

Looking forward to updates on a car that I had always hankered after. That was until I was shown round one on a ramp at my local Ferrari specialist. The number of complex things just waiting to go wrong in and under the car suddenly made the Facel Vega look like a sane choice!

As you say, Satan's barge (but I love it)!

IroningMan

10,154 posts

247 months

Saturday 8th April 2023
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RHD manual at Pipers in Sparkford this morning.


skwdenyer

16,524 posts

241 months

Tuesday 11th April 2023
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Great car OP.

Reminded me I had a copy of LJK Setright’s 1984 Car piece on the 400i:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hgyhil42qatfvho/UK_1984_...

bolidemichael

13,898 posts

202 months

Tuesday 11th April 2023
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Brilliant

BrettMRC

4,106 posts

161 months

Tuesday 11th April 2023
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IroningMan said:
RHD manual at Pipers in Sparkford this morning.

I noticed it had similar indicator issues!

Fessia fancier

1,019 posts

184 months

Tuesday 11th April 2023
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skwdenyer said:
Great car OP.

Reminded me I had a copy of LJK Setright’s 1984 Car piece on the 400i:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hgyhil42qatfvho/UK_1984_...
Thanks. Some truly individual writing in Car in those days, it was such a good mag. Enjoying the thread too.

IroningMan

10,154 posts

247 months

Tuesday 11th April 2023
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BrettMRC said:
I noticed it had similar indicator issues!
Yes, and it looked decidedly lived-in - hopefully because it’s in regular use.

Some nice cars at that event - I haven’t been down there before, but will try to make it again.

Rumdoodle

Original Poster:

709 posts

21 months

Saturday 22nd April 2023
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As the car is in storage at the moment awaiting a major service and fettling next month before intensive use in June when I am back, here's a bit of background.

I nearly bought a 400 a few years ago, but instead felt compelled to explore the mystique of something else from the early ‘80s Observer’s Book of Automobiles, a publication that had both captivated and frozen my imagination regarding cars I really wanted. Monstrously expensive to buy new, handmade and never glimpsed in the wild – either a turbocharged Bristol, an AM Lagonda wedge, or a Bitter. The Bristol and the Bitter were both hybrids, in the old sense of the term. Lazy, simple engines from volume manufacturers, powering cars intended to challenge the appeal and mitigate the agonies of exotic Italian throughbreds. They were usually a little more discreet externally and less well finished internally. None of the hybrid marques survived though, while most of the thoroughbreds did, although obviously absorbed into parent companies. Bristol, Bitter, De Tomaso, Jensen, ISO vs. Aston Martin, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Jaguar, Maserati. For a useable classic, a hybrid might make a tolerable compromise, I thought.

The Bristols were a lot of fun to drive, obviously singularly appalling to look at.

As I’ve mentioned before, I can’t be bothered managing a fleet of cars – if I could I’d have a Bristol for some occasions, but would need something more soothing to look at the rest of the time. I did like the look of the owners' club, though, and thought it would be a really fun crowd to be part of.

The Bitter has value as a curio. It’s like a louche Matra. I have great respect for Erich Bitter, who I have spoken to and hoped to meet but could not because the pandemic derailed the European Bitter Club events that I intended to go to. But the car itself was really only interesting to look at. It had no intrinsic virtues over the Opel it was based on, and it totally failed as an alternative to the Italian GT cars it was intended to be an alternative to.

When it was going well, it sounded awesome and was quite amusing, but the coachbuilding was ropey and these days no garages can actually look after these simple, flawed and antiquated Opel engines, much less so the handful of stroked 3.9 units that Bitter commissioned. In the last couple of years, a workshop in Germany has monopolised the tiny amount of Bitter restoration work needed globally, and I was in touch with them about doing the bodywork on mine before I decided I couldn’t be bothered and moved it on. At the end of the day, I’d still just have a Bitter, and it just didn’t seem interesting enough.

Shortly after I bought the Bitter, I made the mistake of trying out Tipo 101 Ferraris (i.e. the 400 shape), and immediately realised that the hybrid compromise wasn’t for me. The looks, the performance, the heritage – it all made sense.

The Bitter is very smart in isolation

but next to the Ferrari


You can buy a good Aston V8 for the price of a mint Interceptor, and a 400 Ferrari for less than pretty much any De Tomaso. Obviously, aesthetics can trump other factors disproportionately and that is subjective, but, me, there is a chasm between the hybrid and the real thing.

Rumdoodle

Original Poster:

709 posts

21 months

Saturday 22nd April 2023
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My two cars


sean ie3

2,026 posts

137 months

Saturday 22nd April 2023
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I remember seeing a Bitter at auction, owned by a fella from Earth Wind and Fire, Erol Brown, maybe. Came with a a stroked/bored Vauxhall /Opel six cylinder, certainly a exotic looking car. As you say, I'll take the 400.
edit : Errol Brown, Hot Chocolate.

Edited by sean ie3 on Saturday 22 April 22:42

Rumdoodle

Original Poster:

709 posts

21 months

Saturday 22nd April 2023
quotequote all
sean ie3 said:
I remember seeing a Bitter at auction, owned by a fella from Earth Wind and Fire, Erol Brown, maybe. Came with a a stroked/bored Vauxhall /Opel six cylinder, certainly a exotic looking car. As you say, I'll take the 400.
edit : Errol Brown, Hot Chocolate.

Edited by sean ie3 on Saturday 22 April 22:42
There was a very successful singer who owned one. I'll have to dig out my notes about the RHD cars. I didn't think it was someone quite as prominent as Errol Brown, but you may well be right.

The other major influence, apart from the Observer's Book of Cars, was of course the film Rain Man. Tom Cruise's character imported Lamborghinis, but drove a 400. Because he's a boss...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a4f3qxRezU

Gompo

4,415 posts

259 months

Sunday 23rd April 2023
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The comparison shots of the Bitter and Ferrari are great. I'm all for the obscure, but in this circumstance the Bitter really does look like the lesser 'twin'.