Way off subject but ......

[Bundaberg]

[b]Log On[/b] - Make the barbie hotter
[b]Log Off[/b] - Don't add any more wood
[b]Monitor[/b] - Keeping an eye on the barbie
[b]Download[/b] - Get the firewood off the ute
[b]Floppy Disc[/b] - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
[b]Windows[/b] - What you shut when it's cold
[b]Screen[/b] - What you shut in the mozzie season
[b]Byte[/b] - What mozzies do
[b]Bit[/b] - What mozzies did
[b]Mega Byte[/b] - What Townsville mozzies do
[b]Chip[/b] - A bar snack
[b]Micro Chip[/b] - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
[b]Modem[/b] - What you did to the lawns
[b]Dot Matrix[/b] - Old Dan Matrix's wife
[b]Laptop[/b] - Where the cat sleeps
[b]Software[/b] - Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster
[b]Hardware[/b] - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K-Mart
[b]Mouse[/b] - What eats the grain in the shed
[b]Mainframe[/b] - What holds the shed up
[b]Web[/b] - What spiders make
[b]Web Site[/b] - The shed or under the verandah
[b]Cursor[/b] - The old bloke that swears a lot
[b]Search Engine[/b] - What you do when the ute won't go
[b]Upgrade[/b] - A steep hill Server - The bird at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
[b]Mail Server[/b] - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter-lunch
[b]User[/b] - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
[b]Network[/b] - When you have to repair your fishing net
[b]Internet[/b] - Complicated fish net repair method
[b]Netscape[/b] - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
[b]Online[/b] - When you get the laundry hung out
[b]Off Line[/b] - When the pegs don't hold the washing up

[Bundaberg]

i meant to call it oz computer terms, too much stella this arvo