Ad copy - too humourous?

[Anatol]

Thank you mods for reinstating this thread

Tol

[Anatol]

They provide a "Style File" that includes logos, corporate colours and fonts specs, sample ads, and specs on things like the minimum weight of paper stock to be used on flyers.

There's also a fair amount of advertising at a national level done by the centre.

Franchisees are running their own business, though. If you have a particular message to put out, or a particular demographic you want to target, provided your advertising is with the formats prescribed, you're completely open to run individual campaigns.

Tol

[Dave200]

Ad someone who has worked fairly closely with advertising over the last few years, I think you're doing an OK job so far (particularly with the last car one). However, you need to think about reading it from the perspective of your target audience.
They don't care about what "Clearcoat" is, they don't care about where you're going to "Prime". They only care which bits of their car you'll be messing about with. As such, you can simplify so much of that second offering down, which will really distill and improve, what is a fairly solid message.

Sound sensible?

[Anatol]

I started originally with just the outline showing the total refinish area. To get much visual impact in the first image though, the line needed to be enormously wide. It was ridiculous when I outlined the smaller repair area with the same thickness line, but looked like a con to reduce the line size for the smaller repair.

Hence why I opted for showing the paint as a colour-fade, to hit the eyes hard.

Maybe 'paint' and 'lacquer' would be better than 'colour' and 'clearcoat' though.

I'll have another play with just outlining the overall repairs, and see if I can make it work.

Thanks

Tol

[HiRich]

The second ad (BMWs) sells a price message: "cheaper because we repair only the local problem". That's fine, only changes I would make are remove "Typical" (uneccessary), and simplify the repair descriptions.

Ad 1 sells a precision message. It has merit but isn't there yet. The concept and headline does catch the eye, but needs more work (copy and layout). The body copy needs to:

• Open with the line "When precision work is called for..." this is a good opening line that will draw the reader into to understand the question raised in the headline. The exact line is wrong (Mr Miyagi?), but work on it - you could use it for a completely different execution (e.g. sledgehammer vs peening hammer)
• Certainly try again for an alternative theme to chainsaw/bonsai. The idea is strong, but I think there's a better metaphor.
• Remove the line "A typical bodyshop...third of a gram" irrelevant to the message, but keep the 100th gramme (sic), which sounds impressive.
• The zombie apocalypse line doesn't work with the overall tone. Just replace with "For scratches & scrapes, ChipsAway is the precsison tool."
• Keep the rest of the copy, which works well, but try a smaller point size (subject to size & legibility when printed). This would free up space for a bolder headline & image.
• I quite like the spray gun images, but how well will they print. Consider losing the orange border, reset the captions, maybe allow it to float elsewhere in the design.

I think there is a third advertisement to be done to complete the set. You have Value, Quality, so the third theme is Convenience, highlight same day & on site possibilities. Highlight that you will come to the car for the estimate (even when the customer is at work). You have then covered the three key propositions.

[Anatol]

Thank you, that's great input.

Tol

[V8mate]

The fourth and last paragraphs are not funny; they're silly.

Make the ad very amateur.

Edited by V8mate on Tuesday 20th October 15:01

[Anatol]

Obviously, humour is subjective. There are plenty of ads out there that are amusing but still convey a professional image. Where this concept was on that continuum was my concern, hence why I asked for the input.

Thank you for your comment.

[Simpo Two]

Had you considered the viral YouTube route? Madcap humour is expected!

[Anatol]

Thanks to everyone for their input. I have removed the linked files while more work is done...

Tol