Idiotic Neighbour!
Discussion
Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
Leave pools of oil under his car. I know of someone who did that to his manager who spent a fortune trying to "fix" it
On topic - I used to park on the path like on page 1 - until a PCSO had a word. This was a few years ago and I never found out who despite my parking never obstructing anyone as I was at the end of a cul de sac
On topic - I used to park on the path like on page 1 - until a PCSO had a word. This was a few years ago and I never found out who despite my parking never obstructing anyone as I was at the end of a cul de sac
Sway said:
Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
Sway said:
Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
This is today's favourite mental image.valiant said:
Buy a clamp.
Buy a padlock.
Hide in bushes and let an evenings entertainment begin.
If funds allow, when he goes in to phone the police/council/whomever quickly put a second clamp on and then a third and if you manage to do all four shout 'BINGO' at the the top of your voice and run off giggling like a schoolgirl.
Got to do this one.Buy a padlock.
Hide in bushes and let an evenings entertainment begin.
If funds allow, when he goes in to phone the police/council/whomever quickly put a second clamp on and then a third and if you manage to do all four shout 'BINGO' at the the top of your voice and run off giggling like a schoolgirl.
I am sitting in a Cafe and now getting funny looks as this has me in stitches
BlackVanDyke said:
Sway said:
Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
This is today's favourite mental image.I'm sitting here crying with laughter over the image of hammering frozen sausages vertically into a lawn and even more so when I tried to explain through tears to my French in-laws and they just looked at me straight faced, not getting it at all.
Buy a 500 quid rusty luton transit. Take a photo of you smiling and waving inanely and then send it to a printers to have blown up onto self adhesive wallpaper.
Stick picture of you on side of van and park said van outside his house so that evey time he looks out the window he see you smiling and waving at him.
Leave van parked there legally until the vein on his forehead bursts.
Stick picture of you on side of van and park said van outside his house so that evey time he looks out the window he see you smiling and waving at him.
Leave van parked there legally until the vein on his forehead bursts.
rhinochopig said:
Buy a 500 quid rusty luton transit. Take a photo of you smiling and waving inanely and then send it to a printers to have blown up onto self adhesive wallpaper.
Stick picture of you on side of van and park said van outside his house so that evey time he looks out the window he see you smiling and waving at him.
Leave van parked there legally until the vein on his forehead bursts.
can't see the kids defacing that in 3 seconds flat or him writing a speech bubble on it saying something along the lines of "i am a gayer"...no sir-eeStick picture of you on side of van and park said van outside his house so that evey time he looks out the window he see you smiling and waving at him.
Leave van parked there legally until the vein on his forehead bursts.
bobbo89 said:
crmcatee said:
Get some grass seed and wait until he's out,
Then write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.
No amount of cutting grass will remove it
That is fThen write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.
No amount of cutting grass will remove it
king genius! bobbo89 said:
crmcatee said:
Get some grass seed and wait until he's out,
Then write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.
No amount of cutting grass will remove it
That is fThen write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.
No amount of cutting grass will remove it
king genius! 
Do it.
Nice and subtle, love it.
I'd recommend placing a single traffic cone on the pavement where he parks. Each day he returns, he'll remove it and whenever he leaves you should put it back. After a couple of weeks I suspect he'd angrily kick it out of the way. Once this stage is reached, put it back in place and fill with concrete.
james_tigerwoods said:
Leave pools of oil under his car. I know of someone who did that to his manager who spent a fortune trying to "fix" it
I read that and had a 'sad' moment trying to invent ways to easily dispense a convincing puddle of dirty motor oil under someones car, without any incriminating hanging around. In my sadness I invented the hollow ice cube, with motor oil inside, frozen overnight, tossed under the car in the evening, and by morning the ice has melted, the puddle appeared and there is no evidence.
But the manufacture of said weapon might prove time consuming.
King Herald said:
james_tigerwoods said:
Leave pools of oil under his car. I know of someone who did that to his manager who spent a fortune trying to "fix" it
I read that and had a 'sad' moment trying to invent ways to easily dispense a convincing puddle of dirty motor oil under someones car, without any incriminating hanging around. In my sadness I invented the hollow ice cube, with motor oil inside, frozen overnight, tossed under the car in the evening, and by morning the ice has melted, the puddle appeared and there is no evidence.
But the manufacture of said weapon might prove time consuming.
james_tigerwoods said:
King Herald said:
james_tigerwoods said:
Leave pools of oil under his car. I know of someone who did that to his manager who spent a fortune trying to "fix" it
I read that and had a 'sad' moment trying to invent ways to easily dispense a convincing puddle of dirty motor oil under someones car, without any incriminating hanging around. In my sadness I invented the hollow ice cube, with motor oil inside, frozen overnight, tossed under the car in the evening, and by morning the ice has melted, the puddle appeared and there is no evidence.
But the manufacture of said weapon might prove time consuming.
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