A brief introduction to home mechanics
Discussion
This is mostly cathartic.
On Saturday night I punched myself in the face as I rounded off a bolt as I fitted new calipers to the old C-Max. It should have taken about three hours. It took double and there's blood all over my driveway, my overalls, and ironically, the brakes still need bled. The punch to the face reminded me of my youth, in so much as I felt too f
king old to be doing stuff like this.
Nowadays I've got scars all over my hands, my nails are always dirty, the skin around them is permanently cracked, and all the gloss white frames leading to the workshop are discoloured. The side of the house has old discs, exhausts, and miscellaneous metal parts waiting for the tip, which I now have to space out visits as they have begun to hassle me.
In the workshop, most of my electrical fixtures are zip tied in place, I've what must account to a few grand in tools I've collected over the last 13 years. Only an vindictive thief would want them as there's parts missing from every set, hammer marks on chrome sockets, and the dirt is encrusted on everything. The spanners are grouped in what must be someone's nightmare, some have been cut in half for those "specialist tool" jobs, and I've components for cars that stopped production over two and a half decades and ago and aren't worth anything but for some reason I have yet to move them. Perhaps I live in hope of one day owning another 1995 MR2 turbo.
When relatives and work colleagues talk about cars I try not to be a smart arse but I think they see me cringe when they say something stupid. A young relative tells me their "camshaft has gone" on their low mileage Saxo. I ask for more information, but fail to contain my disdain at their condescension. They don't actually know what a camshaft is and just assumed I didn't know either. For a moment I actually envy her, if you don't know how it works you can't feel bad for paying someone else to fix it. Not reassuring she works at Halfords however. Although probably a good explanation.
Nowadays I do ok financially. I do not in all honesty need to own 10 year old MPVs and Japanese saloons. I could easily kit us out with modest new cars (although possibly not equivalent in my mind). In fact I could even pay someone to fix these things for me. But here I am exchanging time, frustration, and apparently blood, for money.
So once again it is Monday morning. I ache from a weekend of what "should of been an easy job". My nails are black, I should have got someone to do it, but I know I've paid a chunk of the spring holiday off with what I've saved. Christ almighty though, I fking wish I didn't have to do this anymore.
Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?
On Saturday night I punched myself in the face as I rounded off a bolt as I fitted new calipers to the old C-Max. It should have taken about three hours. It took double and there's blood all over my driveway, my overalls, and ironically, the brakes still need bled. The punch to the face reminded me of my youth, in so much as I felt too f
king old to be doing stuff like this.Nowadays I've got scars all over my hands, my nails are always dirty, the skin around them is permanently cracked, and all the gloss white frames leading to the workshop are discoloured. The side of the house has old discs, exhausts, and miscellaneous metal parts waiting for the tip, which I now have to space out visits as they have begun to hassle me.
In the workshop, most of my electrical fixtures are zip tied in place, I've what must account to a few grand in tools I've collected over the last 13 years. Only an vindictive thief would want them as there's parts missing from every set, hammer marks on chrome sockets, and the dirt is encrusted on everything. The spanners are grouped in what must be someone's nightmare, some have been cut in half for those "specialist tool" jobs, and I've components for cars that stopped production over two and a half decades and ago and aren't worth anything but for some reason I have yet to move them. Perhaps I live in hope of one day owning another 1995 MR2 turbo.
When relatives and work colleagues talk about cars I try not to be a smart arse but I think they see me cringe when they say something stupid. A young relative tells me their "camshaft has gone" on their low mileage Saxo. I ask for more information, but fail to contain my disdain at their condescension. They don't actually know what a camshaft is and just assumed I didn't know either. For a moment I actually envy her, if you don't know how it works you can't feel bad for paying someone else to fix it. Not reassuring she works at Halfords however. Although probably a good explanation.
Nowadays I do ok financially. I do not in all honesty need to own 10 year old MPVs and Japanese saloons. I could easily kit us out with modest new cars (although possibly not equivalent in my mind). In fact I could even pay someone to fix these things for me. But here I am exchanging time, frustration, and apparently blood, for money.
So once again it is Monday morning. I ache from a weekend of what "should of been an easy job". My nails are black, I should have got someone to do it, but I know I've paid a chunk of the spring holiday off with what I've saved. Christ almighty though, I f
king wish I didn't have to do this anymore.Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this s
t?", yet still scrambling under your cars?Edited by Prof Prolapse on Monday 25th January 10:30
It's annoying having a job that expands beyond what it should do. I have a rule now, that if I haven't done a job before on a car (so all the bolts are rusted) I give it 4x longer than a car where all the fixings are in good shape... It's still bloody annoying though.
The thing that's annoying me more as I go on is the lack of a proper lift. Dicking about on the driveway with a jack and axle stands is a poor substitute for a 2-poster indoors. It's on the wish list for the next house.
The thing that's annoying me more as I go on is the lack of a proper lift. Dicking about on the driveway with a jack and axle stands is a poor substitute for a 2-poster indoors. It's on the wish list for the next house.
Making me laugh on a Monday morning is an achievement, well done.
I understand your pain. Literally. My elbows feel like a gorilla has tried to use me as a stretch Armstrong.
Currently it feels like I'm moving one of my cars into the garage piece by piece.
Thanks to a series of seized fittings (I know, there's no such thing as a seized nut or bolt, you just need time and patience and heat. Or an angle grinder) changing the diff has become an exercise in deconstructing the thing into component parts (that are still refusing to come apart)
I understand your pain. Literally. My elbows feel like a gorilla has tried to use me as a stretch Armstrong.
Currently it feels like I'm moving one of my cars into the garage piece by piece.
Thanks to a series of seized fittings (I know, there's no such thing as a seized nut or bolt, you just need time and patience and heat. Or an angle grinder) changing the diff has become an exercise in deconstructing the thing into component parts (that are still refusing to come apart)
You have my sympathy and understanding. The thing is we'd miss it if we didn't put ourselves through it. Also we just hate the idea of throwing money away on a job we KNOW we can do ourselves.
Last night I was in the garage going blind with rage over the insane design of an electrical connector. That and my steamed up glasses sliding down my nose as I tried to get at it.
Christ, my dad is about 76 and he still gets out there and works on his cars, although he knows his limits and doesn't try to do it all anymore.
You're not alone.
Last night I was in the garage going blind with rage over the insane design of an electrical connector. That and my steamed up glasses sliding down my nose as I tried to get at it.
Christ, my dad is about 76 and he still gets out there and works on his cars, although he knows his limits and doesn't try to do it all anymore.
You're not alone.
Prof Prolapse said:
Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?
Up to a point. There's no way I'll be comfortable with giving the Aston garage the best part of £1k to replace the front discs and pads, so will quite happily source and fit the parts myself which will save about 50% of that prospective bill.t?", yet still scrambling under your cars?But a while ago, the twenty quid oil seal that needed some dismantling of some really grubby bits to access was something that I was more than willing to let their mechanics book about twelve hours of spannering time to save my frustrations and Swarfega usage.
Great post, I feel exactly the same. I can't face throwing away a box of tappets I found last week for a diesel Cavalier 
I dread MOT time as I know I can't face paying a mechanic to do any repairs (perhaps badly) that I can do better and cheaper myself.
I have a garage stuffed full of specialist tools, I have a compressor, MIG welder (to make my own tools) all to make any automotive job as painless as possible, which makes people think that I must love working on cars (they can't understand why I don't want to fix their car too!)
Luckily I have resources and space to own 3 cars, so any job can take as long as I need. I hate deadlines
I dread MOT time as I know I can't face paying a mechanic to do any repairs (perhaps badly) that I can do better and cheaper myself.
I have a garage stuffed full of specialist tools, I have a compressor, MIG welder (to make my own tools) all to make any automotive job as painless as possible, which makes people think that I must love working on cars (they can't understand why I don't want to fix their car too!)
Luckily I have resources and space to own 3 cars, so any job can take as long as I need. I hate deadlines
I think it was worse about 8 or 9 years ago when I was broke and the neighbours and relatives going, "Oh I know you enjoy tinkering on your cars"...
You'd actually have spent the full weekend half killing yourself, using tools most Christmas cracker manufacturers would reject,
fitting the cheapest parts you could get because you had literally no money. You couldn't even afford the Haynes manual so you just had to bloody guess. No nitrile gloves, and Swarfega, so after 12 hours of smashing your knuckles and running out to buy more tools as you had no idea how to plan the job, you spend half an hour using fairy liquid with sugar granules in it.
All mechanical work conducted under a scissor jack on gravel.
You'd actually have spent the full weekend half killing yourself, using tools most Christmas cracker manufacturers would reject,
fitting the cheapest parts you could get because you had literally no money. You couldn't even afford the Haynes manual so you just had to bloody guess. No nitrile gloves, and Swarfega, so after 12 hours of smashing your knuckles and running out to buy more tools as you had no idea how to plan the job, you spend half an hour using fairy liquid with sugar granules in it.
All mechanical work conducted under a scissor jack on gravel.
Prof Prolapse said:
I think it was worse about 8 or 9 years ago when I was broke and the neighbours and relatives going, "Oh I know you enjoy tinkering on your cars"...
You'd actually have spent the full weekend half killing yourself, using tools most Christmas cracker manufacturers would reject,
fitting the cheapest parts you could get because you had literally no money. You couldn't even afford the Haynes manual so you just had to bloody guess. No nitrile gloves, and Swarfega, so after 12 hours of smashing your knuckles and running out to buy more tools as you had no idea how to plan the job, you spend half an hour using fairy liquid with sugar granules in it.
All mechanical work conducted under a scissor jack on gravel.
That's how I started, now with the internet I can spend a few days researching how to do a job, and read about other peoples misfortune when doing the same job, to make sure I know what I'm doing and what I need. I couldn't afford to own 2 of the cars I now have without the reassurance of the internet.You'd actually have spent the full weekend half killing yourself, using tools most Christmas cracker manufacturers would reject,
fitting the cheapest parts you could get because you had literally no money. You couldn't even afford the Haynes manual so you just had to bloody guess. No nitrile gloves, and Swarfega, so after 12 hours of smashing your knuckles and running out to buy more tools as you had no idea how to plan the job, you spend half an hour using fairy liquid with sugar granules in it.
All mechanical work conducted under a scissor jack on gravel.
I do like the satisfaction of completing something challenging... but I certainly don't do it for fun.
Having fixed my own cars since my first one back in 1991, I've now built up a range of tools to sort it all out when jobs go wrong i.e oxys acetylene, breaker bars, freezer spray, bolt extractors, easy out spray, then an angle grinder with slitting disks and a MIG as last resort!
I can still remember the time I was using a lump hammer to punch a screwdriver through an oil filter and thumped my thumb against the sump, I woke up under the car after blacking out covered in blood.... the only time I've ever passed out!
I must also have the worlds largest collection of tools for bleeding brakes in completely different ways!
Edited by markw996 on Monday 25th January 11:57
Edited by markw996 on Monday 25th January 12:02
I enjoy it, and I have done for years. However, the rule is that somebody else looks after the two daily drivers (I'm a bit anal about having a FSH, too). I mess about with the other cars, and I know that if I fk something up, we still have transport.
I made the mistake of once telling a builder that I enjoyed manual work as it is 'brainless'. What I meant was that it exercises a part of my brain (and body) that gets little stimulation in the working week, and I actually find it relaxing. But that's because it's a hobby, not a necessity, and there's usually no serious deadline.
So yes, I am too old for this st, and I intend to keep doing it. But only for fun. Once it becomes a chore, you can guaranteee it'll be cold and raining.
k something up, we still have transport.I made the mistake of once telling a builder that I enjoyed manual work as it is 'brainless'. What I meant was that it exercises a part of my brain (and body) that gets little stimulation in the working week, and I actually find it relaxing. But that's because it's a hobby, not a necessity, and there's usually no serious deadline.
So yes, I am too old for this s
t, and I intend to keep doing it. But only for fun. Once it becomes a chore, you can guaranteee it'll be cold and raining.Megaflow said:
My back is killing me today from putting ~75kg of 1200cc Suzuki engine into it's freshly powder coated frame yesterday.
LOL, I can only imagine. I had no idea how much bike engines weighed until I had my lighter than yours CBR engine out in October. The language out of me was horrendous even by my standards as I lifted it out having made the stupid decision to rest it on the floor;"HOW THE f
k IS THIS fkING stTY 600CC ENGINE SO fkING HEAVY *pant* I THOUGHT *pant* YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MADE OF ALLY YOU fkING *pant*" Then bent my metal bench beyond repair when I put it down. Breaking off several parts.
Whilst spannering was a great learning curve. I did get tired of it and bought a car that's near impossible to work on without more gear so I don't really bother anymore. To put it into perspective, the air filter change takes about an hour ( got it down to 35 minutes now) because it's is just buried in there, along with everything else.
I do the air and and cabin filter,'changed the oil breather last time I did the air filter( because it's buried under the air filter housing) and that's my lot now.
It now goes to a garage for anything else.
I do the air and and cabin filter,'changed the oil breather last time I did the air filter( because it's buried under the air filter housing) and that's my lot now.
It now goes to a garage for anything else.
I spent all day last Sunday trying to replace the suspension mounts on my Land Rover. One bolt refused to come undone and of course, I had to keep trying, because of all the bolts that I have in my toolbox and my dad has in his shed, none of them match the type for me to just cut the old one off and grab another one to fit in.
Ordered the new parts but could have had the job done much quicker if I had realised the suspension kit I bought came without the bolts in the first place!
And whilst at least the Land Rover has extra ground clearance, I also managed to bend my hi-lift jack in the process of trying to get it on the axle stands, so now have resorted to a Halfords 2tonne trolley jack and some blocks of wood under the diff casing, before popping some axle stands in. Oh and a couple of old railway sleepers to use as a safety brace.
Ordered the new parts but could have had the job done much quicker if I had realised the suspension kit I bought came without the bolts in the first place!
And whilst at least the Land Rover has extra ground clearance, I also managed to bend my hi-lift jack in the process of trying to get it on the axle stands, so now have resorted to a Halfords 2tonne trolley jack and some blocks of wood under the diff casing, before popping some axle stands in. Oh and a couple of old railway sleepers to use as a safety brace.
I feel your pain, and it's not just cars. This weekend I decided to install the under sink water chiller which should be the final job in the kitchen refurbishment programme. The installation manual states that it is a quick easy job and, reading the instructions, it should be.
Except that the chiller needs a mains socket for power. This, of course, requires a spur to be installed but as I'm also contemplating installing an external socket through the kitchen wall nearby I elect to re-route the ring main so I can spur off the newly installed socket and not have a spur on a spur. This of course takes a hideous amount of extra work involving drilling, chiselling and general contortionism but we get there in the end.
The next job is to disconnect the existing plumbing to the cold tap that is to benefit from this chilled water supply. This tap is already in position and plumbed in to ambient temperature filtered water by the contractor who installed the majority of the kitchen. It has those quick plumbing connectors fitted so should be easy. But the contractor has plumbed this in before fitting the rest of the plumbing under the sink so although I can see the connectors my mits are too big to get a good grip on them. What would normally take just a few seconds to disconnect takes nigh on 45 minutes!
The overall installation should have been an easy half hour. It took 4 hours in total but is completed and looking very neat and tidy with chilled and filtered water now on tap 24/7.
When Mrs Garvin gets home from her lunch date with her friend she surveys my handy work and declares her disappointment that there is not much room under the sink now for all the various liquids and potions she squirrels away in there!
Why do we do this?
Except that the chiller needs a mains socket for power. This, of course, requires a spur to be installed but as I'm also contemplating installing an external socket through the kitchen wall nearby I elect to re-route the ring main so I can spur off the newly installed socket and not have a spur on a spur. This of course takes a hideous amount of extra work involving drilling, chiselling and general contortionism but we get there in the end.
The next job is to disconnect the existing plumbing to the cold tap that is to benefit from this chilled water supply. This tap is already in position and plumbed in to ambient temperature filtered water by the contractor who installed the majority of the kitchen. It has those quick plumbing connectors fitted so should be easy. But the contractor has plumbed this in before fitting the rest of the plumbing under the sink so although I can see the connectors my mits are too big to get a good grip on them. What would normally take just a few seconds to disconnect takes nigh on 45 minutes!
The overall installation should have been an easy half hour. It took 4 hours in total but is completed and looking very neat and tidy with chilled and filtered water now on tap 24/7.
When Mrs Garvin gets home from her lunch date with her friend she surveys my handy work and declares her disappointment that there is not much room under the sink now for all the various liquids and potions she squirrels away in there!
Why do we do this?
gforceg said:
Also we just hate the idea of throwing money away on a job we KNOW we can do ourselves.
For me it's basically this. I'll have my car's yearly service done by the dealer because I'd like to maintain the FSH and it's not that expensive, but things like brake discs/pads I'll do myself because it's extortionately expensive to get a garage to do it, for some reason. It's not even that hard or time-consuming.Yeah, but you wouldnt really have it any other way, even if I was very wealthy I would still get some kind of pleasure out of fixing stuff myself, I dont want to become some helpless girly man, it is part of my male identity being able to fix stuff, some blokes like to impress with their fighting skills, you know "I am a black belt in...", they still feel like a big girls blouse when you tell them you can weld 
During the summer I had the supercharger off my XKR 3 times as I tried to get rid of it's death rattle noise, first time about 20 hours, second time about 10, 3rd time about 5. I've got a complete exhaust assembly ready and prepped to fit to the Boxster when I've got time and weather. And I'll do the front disc and pads on the Range Rover in a few months as well.
But... when my boy's Corsa failed it's mot with two broken rear springs, I paid the garage to do it because it needed doing quick, and I couldn't be arsed to spend a day crawling around on the ground for the cost they were willing to do it for.
Similarly to the OP, I'm getting too old and wealthy for this st, if I don't fancy doing a job I'll just pay a garage to do it, but those jobs I have the time and inclination to do I love doing. Although I do sometimes doubt myself based on the amount of swearing that comes out of me whilst I'm trying to access some remote bolt or trying to fit an intricate piece that actually needs 3 hands to make fit.
Thing is, if money was no object I'd probably still do this stuff, but I might be doing it in a workshop with proper lifts.
P.S. Does anyone want a Range Rover front bumper, jaguar alloy wheel, jaguar supercharger, range rover turbos or a selection of old batteries? They're all clogging up my garage or down the side of the house. Help yourselves!
But... when my boy's Corsa failed it's mot with two broken rear springs, I paid the garage to do it because it needed doing quick, and I couldn't be arsed to spend a day crawling around on the ground for the cost they were willing to do it for.
Similarly to the OP, I'm getting too old and wealthy for this s
t, if I don't fancy doing a job I'll just pay a garage to do it, but those jobs I have the time and inclination to do I love doing. Although I do sometimes doubt myself based on the amount of swearing that comes out of me whilst I'm trying to access some remote bolt or trying to fit an intricate piece that actually needs 3 hands to make fit.Thing is, if money was no object I'd probably still do this stuff, but I might be doing it in a workshop with proper lifts.
P.S. Does anyone want a Range Rover front bumper, jaguar alloy wheel, jaguar supercharger, range rover turbos or a selection of old batteries? They're all clogging up my garage or down the side of the house. Help yourselves!
I started doing home mechanics when I was getting messed around by car garages. As I started to realise I am actually good at it I started investing in more tools, then I started gaining more confidence so I purchased a 2 post ramp. Then I started getting messed around with wheel wobbles so I purchased a wheel balancer. Then I realised you might aswell have a tyre changer so I got one of those. Then I went and puchased a Maxidas as you never know when it will come in handy. Everytime I do a job I pretend I've just saved X amount of cash, now I can go blow it on more tools.
However the best thing I have ever purchased in my life is ones of these:
It's the best money I have ever spent on diy tools.
I love it, I can do any of the work whenever I want. I don't need to leave my car at a garage and negotiate courtesy cars or rides back.
My jobs used to take quite a bit longer than book times and it was always down to the wrong tools. Now I can usually knock out the job under book times. I did my LS430 timing belt in 2-3 hours and the starter motor in the same time.
Crazy to think 6-7 years ago I didn't even know how to change a brake pad. Last year I changed the shells on the M5
I just love working on my cars, I find it very rewarding and plays a huge part of my car hobby. Sometimes I enjoy working on them more than driving them
However the best thing I have ever purchased in my life is ones of these:
It's the best money I have ever spent on diy tools.
I love it, I can do any of the work whenever I want. I don't need to leave my car at a garage and negotiate courtesy cars or rides back.
My jobs used to take quite a bit longer than book times and it was always down to the wrong tools. Now I can usually knock out the job under book times. I did my LS430 timing belt in 2-3 hours and the starter motor in the same time.
Crazy to think 6-7 years ago I didn't even know how to change a brake pad. Last year I changed the shells on the M5
I just love working on my cars, I find it very rewarding and plays a huge part of my car hobby. Sometimes I enjoy working on them more than driving them
Edited by Sump on Monday 25th January 12:47
It's been 8 months since I have had my 'own' car, now in a role which includes a company vehicle instead. I still service the family Nissan Note, but that's my lot.
I miss it sometimes, then sometimes I do not. Like the time I was flushing the oil from my recently-rebuilt GTi6 when it suddenly decided to start snowing, heavily. I rushed to finish it as I wasn't sure how deep it would get and I was outside on the driveway.
Nowadays I occupy myself with Radio Controlled cars instead. Not as complicated but just as fiddly. I spend way more time stripping, building and re-building than what you might refer to as actually 'playing' with them. I've exchanged the real cars for model ones, but that satisfaction you get from completing a 'b*tch of a job' is not the same with the models as it is with the real deal.
I miss it sometimes, then sometimes I do not. Like the time I was flushing the oil from my recently-rebuilt GTi6 when it suddenly decided to start snowing, heavily. I rushed to finish it as I wasn't sure how deep it would get and I was outside on the driveway.
Nowadays I occupy myself with Radio Controlled cars instead. Not as complicated but just as fiddly. I spend way more time stripping, building and re-building than what you might refer to as actually 'playing' with them. I've exchanged the real cars for model ones, but that satisfaction you get from completing a 'b*tch of a job' is not the same with the models as it is with the real deal.
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