Pocket rocket perfection | Six of the Best
Small, fast, cheap, fun - what could be better?
Suzuki Swift Sport, 2019, 66k, £9,990
When an AMG GT is 2.1 tonnes and a 911 GTS can very easily touch £150,000 with a few options, some light relief (of every kind) is in order. So that’s exactly what’s here. No car here weighs meaningfully more than a tonne, they’re all under £10k, they’re all manual, and between them there’s not even 700hp. Perfect - there’s no joy quite like a great junior hot hatch. The ZC33S Swift Sport is a perfect example of the breed, with just 140hp and 975kg to its name. When new it came in for some flak because it was more expensive than the naturally aspirated version that came before; but soon after Suzuki made the Sport hybrid, then ditched it altogether, so now the combination of 50mpg and 130mph looks more appealing than it ever has. This one in particular; though a UK market car, it’s been treated to all sorts of goodies from Japan, including Tein springs, an HKS Racing Suction Kit, and an R’s Racing anti-roll bar. It promises to be a right hoot, as well as everyday suitable - and it’s not much more than half its new price…
Mini Cooper, 2001, 123k, £4,995
Yes, this could well be a nice Cooper S given the budget. And yes, Coopers are meant to be at their best on smaller wheels. It’s probably fair to say, too, that these early R50s won’t ever be as loved as the originals - or perhaps some others on this list. But as a celebration of all that was great about the Mini’s 21st century reimagination, this thing looks just the ticket. It still gleams a radiant red, the white accents are smart, and the big wheels out at each corner means the Cooper still sits with a sporty stance. This one is additionally interesting, actually, as one of the very first R50s made, completed in July 2001 and registered on September 7th that year. So yes, these are very nearly 25 years old. A proper classic Mini, then - and at £5k, the cheapest car here. First time for everything with a Mini…
Citroen Saxo VTS, 2000, 46k, £9,990
The French are the masters of making fast cars small, light and flingable. For decades now, there’s been little thrill quite like a small Gallic hatch powered by a spunky 16-valve and held together with what feels like Meccano. Some of the very best are now hot property on the classic market - see the Clio Williams and Trophy for proof. But cheaper, equally hilarious takes on the French formula are most certainly still around. £10k may not be far off the new price of a VTS, though the numbers of 16-valve Saxos out there crumbled faster than the lads mags when their oversteery nature caught out exuberant drivers. If you can find a pre-facelift VTS, keep it safe; even this one, a later Saxo mercifully free of mods, looks one to cherish with fewer than 50,000 miles. A glorious reminder of how simple hot hatches could be. Be on your toes…
Ford Fiesta Zetec S, 2001, 86k, £8,250
There are forgotten fast Fords, and then there’s the Fiesta Zetec S. This was the sporty one before STs and the like existed, only it wasn’t all that quick: presumably scared of cannibalising Puma sales, the Fiesta was fitted with the 102hp 1.6 rather than the Yamaha-developed, 125hp 1.7. The chassis, of course, was joyous, because this was turn-of-the-millennium Ford: lithe, supple, communicative and controlled. But the Zetec S always felt like a ‘what if’ kind of fast Ford, and many were donors for spicier engine swaps or race cars. Before even thinking about the dreaded rust. So this Imperial Blue example is a real treat, retaining the standard engine and with a fortune spent making the rest of the Fiesta as good as it could be: Racing Puma seats, coilovers, better brakes, extra bracing and so on. It’s undersealed, it comes with lots of spares, and it’s clearly been loved. Fiestas surely don’t come much more fabulous.
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VW Lupo GTI, 2001, 77k, PH Auctions
Sometimes the old days aren’t as good as you remember - but sometimes they are. Look at these past four entrants for proof: all registered in 2000 or 2001, all offering peppy performance and proper driving fun without going crazy. The Mini had the style, the Saxo had the speed, the Fiesta had the chassis. Then there was the Lupo, the mini-GTI of the group. The design was cool and crisp, the interior from another dimension, and the driving experience perhaps not quite as lairy as some others. That’ll be by the wild child standards of the early 2000s, though; don’t be surprised if, a quarter of a century later, this feels back to basics in the very best way possible. And still eminently usable in a way that, just maybe, a Saxo VTS no longer is. This PH Auctions car is low mileage, parps through a Scorpion back box (long live the centre-exit exhaust!) and comes with almost a year of advisory-free MOT to its name. Bidding starts next week.
Fiat Panda 100HP, 2007, 49k, £4,999
Oh boy, they really don’t make ‘em like they used to. The Panda 100HP employed the time honoured recipe that’s made for so many great pocket rockets: it was lower, stiffer and faster than standard, better to look at and not an awful lot more expensive - job jobbed. For £9,995 in the mid-2000s, the Panda looked like bargain of the century, retaining all the standard’s car usability while adding some fire in its belly (quite literally) thanks to the fitment of the 1.4-litre, 16-valve Fiat Integrated Robotised Engine. With a six-speed manual as standard fit, the 100HP could scurry to 60mph in around nine seconds, and would happily be flung at any bend thanks to its wider tyres, bigger brakes and firmer suspension. This one might want for a bit of recommissioning, as it’s been without an MOT for a couple of years, but is also a one-owner, 50,000-mile example. And you probably don’t need us to tell you precious few of those remain.
I kept the Panda for 12 months and covered about 7800 miles in it. At 78K miles I was expecting a few issues and ironically the day I decided to sell it the Panda s
t itself. The alternator failed and took the ECU for the power steering with it. Fortunately I had bought a breaker from copart for £400 so I pillaged the parts from that including the gear leaver because that was as loose as a dick in a top hat. I sold the breaker for what I paid and made £300 profit on the Panda when I sold it. Despite these minor set backs it hasn't dented my opinion that 100HP is a great little car to drive. The retirement bucket list continues and it was followed by a Pand 4x4 twin air and my current daily is a Skoda Yeti TDi.
We've had it for 2.5 years and its not cost a penny outside fuel, 2 tyres and servicing, will hit over 50mpg on a run too. Suzuki will now warranty out to 10 years like Toyota with a dealer service so it's relatively cheap fun.
The infotainment isnt amazing and the ride a little crashy, plus very little sound proofing to keep the weight down are the only downsides.
Surprised no mini cooper S on that list. A friend had a late R53 JCW and it was a riot.
They're all a bit steep but at least low mileage. The Mini is taking the piss though.Can imagine the insurance company rubbing their hands with glee though with all the mods on some of these cars.
Got to say though that I do like that swift sport, modern and useable lightweight fun.
A great list of cars, prices may seem high, but I think that’s the new normal, apart from when you part ex your car and it appears worthless, all cars for sale at garages are massively highly priced, case in point I part exchanged my 2014 500s for £3300, they sold it for £5300, which is £300 less than what I paid for it nearly 4 years earlier.
Of the cars featured, the Saxo VTS stands out for me as I had an earlier R reg Series 1 which I used every day and also competed in MSA sprints.
In the standard road class it was perfect and I did quite well with it.
Great fun although a little flimsy feeling as most French cars seem to be but I loved it.
Can imagine the insurance company rubbing their hands with glee though with all the mods on some of these cars.
Got to say though that I do like that swift sport, modern and useable lightweight fun.
A great list of cars, prices may seem high, but I think that s the new normal, apart from when you part ex your car and it appears worthless, all cars for sale at garages are massively highly priced, case in point I part exchanged my 2014 500s for £3300, they sold it for £5300, which is £300 less than what I paid for it nearly 4 years earlier.
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