Arrested, de-arrested before processing and then questioned
Discussion
I was wondering if any of you can help me clarify a rather confusing situation ?
Long story short, I was arrested for ' harassment without violence ' for sending my ex partner 6 polite, non threatening text messages. She called the police the following day, they took a statement but she didn't want to take it any further. 10 days later after no more further contact from me, after I stopped a cheque and after pressure from some of her spiteful friends she called the police and I was arrested at 1am and taken to the local police station. Now I have never been in trouble with the police and was not familiar with the process. So when I arrived at the station I went through the first door into a room and was told to sit there, the arresting officer went through to the next room and I could hear a fairly heated discussion between him and the custody officer, after 10 minutes the arresting officer came out and told me I was ' de-arrested ' and I was free to go. He then said that they might want to talk to me further and interview me, he gave me the option to do it then. I naively thought that as I had been de-arrested that I was in the clear and agreed to conduct the interview without a solicitor. I didn't have an issue as they had screenshots of the messages and I still had them on my phone and I didn't deny sending them as they were polite and non threatening. Did the interview and was driven home by the arresting officer. I thought end of. Wrong, I got a summons to court.
My main is question is, that as I was de-arrested I had no case to answer to, and after looking up the definitions and various legal cases have I been treated unfairly ?
I have taken legal advice but the reason I ask this is I think my solicitor thought I was de-arrested after the interview and I didnt pay it much mind. I am due in court soon and I found out today that my solicitor who knows the full story can't make it to court on the day and I will have another solicitor representing me. I was just recounting the events to myself and after researching the above I am confused as to how I was processed and if it was just ?
Any clarification on this matter would be gratefully received TIA
Long story short, I was arrested for ' harassment without violence ' for sending my ex partner 6 polite, non threatening text messages. She called the police the following day, they took a statement but she didn't want to take it any further. 10 days later after no more further contact from me, after I stopped a cheque and after pressure from some of her spiteful friends she called the police and I was arrested at 1am and taken to the local police station. Now I have never been in trouble with the police and was not familiar with the process. So when I arrived at the station I went through the first door into a room and was told to sit there, the arresting officer went through to the next room and I could hear a fairly heated discussion between him and the custody officer, after 10 minutes the arresting officer came out and told me I was ' de-arrested ' and I was free to go. He then said that they might want to talk to me further and interview me, he gave me the option to do it then. I naively thought that as I had been de-arrested that I was in the clear and agreed to conduct the interview without a solicitor. I didn't have an issue as they had screenshots of the messages and I still had them on my phone and I didn't deny sending them as they were polite and non threatening. Did the interview and was driven home by the arresting officer. I thought end of. Wrong, I got a summons to court.
My main is question is, that as I was de-arrested I had no case to answer to, and after looking up the definitions and various legal cases have I been treated unfairly ?
I have taken legal advice but the reason I ask this is I think my solicitor thought I was de-arrested after the interview and I didnt pay it much mind. I am due in court soon and I found out today that my solicitor who knows the full story can't make it to court on the day and I will have another solicitor representing me. I was just recounting the events to myself and after researching the above I am confused as to how I was processed and if it was just ?
Any clarification on this matter would be gratefully received TIA
To be honest this has been dragging on since November. I just want to get it done and dusted and move on with my life. She also ripped me off for quite a sum of money, and I would like an acquittal ASAP so I can start legal proceedings against her without this ' supposed harassment charge ' being brought up at initial proceedings as her solicitor takes great glee in doing this. And let's face it, it doesn't paint me in a favourable light.
However your advice is probably a sensible option. Thanks for the advice.
However your advice is probably a sensible option. Thanks for the advice.
Vonhosen. I see. But you can understand how confusing it might be to someone who has never been in trouble with the police before. Being arrested equated to me as being in trouble and then to be de-arrested before any formal processing, I thought indicated that it was a storm in a teacup ( which it was ) and the case wasn't being pursued.
You live and learn I guess ? Thank you for your input.
You live and learn I guess ? Thank you for your input.
No. Nothing. I think I actually said to the arresting officer when he was at the door ' is this a joke ? ' obviously not. I had always treated her with respect and had never even raised my voice to her. It has come to light that she has previously been quite spiteful and vindictive and it was all financially motivated. Which I hasten to add she has been paid in full and then some. 🙈
Thank you all for your advice and responses.
My ex fiancé dumped me via her 5 year old son whilst on holiday, when I asked her what was going on she didn't want to talk about it and to avoid making a scene in front of her son we carried on and remained civil. Upon returning home she kicked me out and I returned to my own home. Over the next few weeks we exchanged polite texts and calls with regards to me collecting my belongings. With a friend I collected the majority of my possessions, all done in a friendly and respectful manner. In the weeks running up to the point before I was arrested we had been messaging to meet up to collect the last few items. Also she was claiming that I owed her some money, some money was owed but she was claiming that I owed her 3x the actual amount. I thought that this was a bit cheeky especially as I had paid for half her sons holiday, quite a substantial amount on her home and garden renovations as I thought I was going to be living there, my house was up for sale, I had paid for her car to be repaired, vets bills for cats etc. This is after all the usual relationship stuff that I always paid for eg. Hotels, meals out, drinks, babysitter, groceries etc. So messages went back and forth, trying to arrange a time to meet up, she would always cancel, or make some excuse and I was always accepting. Her messages nearly always ended with a friendly x. We live locally to each other, had mutual friends and I wanted to try to be as amicable as possible. After a polite exchange of messages where once again she had cancelled I then got a text message saying ' I will not be meeting you today or any other day, too much has happened please respect my wishes ' to which I replied ' respect your wishes ? I have been respecting your wishes for the last 2 months and I still don't even know why the relationship ended ? ' I then spoke to a mutual friend and told her what has happened, who was as bemused as I was. I then sent a message saying ' I know that to you people's opinions don't count, but nobody can understand what you are playing at ? ' a little while passed and another mutual friend who didn't want to get involved told me that she had been seeing her ex behind my back for quite some time, this had been mentioned to me before by someone and had my suspicions and months ago I confronted her and asked her to which she went mad dying that I was ' delusional and paranoid and why would she want anything to do with him ' foolishly, I believed her. So I then sent her a message saying ' OK, I now know the reasons, the truth always comes out in the end. Thank you for the deceit, lies and gutless time wasting. Your parents must be so proud ' shortly followed by another message saying ' Good luck to you both, you deserve each other. Their is no malice, in fact I feel like I have dodged a bullet ' the last two messages were in conjunction to a court case in America where a family member of hers who had been arrested for raping his nephew. I saw a clip from a family member saying that he had been tried and sentenced to 5 years. I had been privy to this case from the start and knew how upsetting it had been and out of respect I sent a message saying ' I'm glad xxxx got his come uppance 5 years though ??? ' and finally I sent one saying ' sorry that I forgot all this was going on 2 and a half months out of the loop and all that. My humblest apologies and deepest respect ' and that was it.
My ex fiancé dumped me via her 5 year old son whilst on holiday, when I asked her what was going on she didn't want to talk about it and to avoid making a scene in front of her son we carried on and remained civil. Upon returning home she kicked me out and I returned to my own home. Over the next few weeks we exchanged polite texts and calls with regards to me collecting my belongings. With a friend I collected the majority of my possessions, all done in a friendly and respectful manner. In the weeks running up to the point before I was arrested we had been messaging to meet up to collect the last few items. Also she was claiming that I owed her some money, some money was owed but she was claiming that I owed her 3x the actual amount. I thought that this was a bit cheeky especially as I had paid for half her sons holiday, quite a substantial amount on her home and garden renovations as I thought I was going to be living there, my house was up for sale, I had paid for her car to be repaired, vets bills for cats etc. This is after all the usual relationship stuff that I always paid for eg. Hotels, meals out, drinks, babysitter, groceries etc. So messages went back and forth, trying to arrange a time to meet up, she would always cancel, or make some excuse and I was always accepting. Her messages nearly always ended with a friendly x. We live locally to each other, had mutual friends and I wanted to try to be as amicable as possible. After a polite exchange of messages where once again she had cancelled I then got a text message saying ' I will not be meeting you today or any other day, too much has happened please respect my wishes ' to which I replied ' respect your wishes ? I have been respecting your wishes for the last 2 months and I still don't even know why the relationship ended ? ' I then spoke to a mutual friend and told her what has happened, who was as bemused as I was. I then sent a message saying ' I know that to you people's opinions don't count, but nobody can understand what you are playing at ? ' a little while passed and another mutual friend who didn't want to get involved told me that she had been seeing her ex behind my back for quite some time, this had been mentioned to me before by someone and had my suspicions and months ago I confronted her and asked her to which she went mad dying that I was ' delusional and paranoid and why would she want anything to do with him ' foolishly, I believed her. So I then sent her a message saying ' OK, I now know the reasons, the truth always comes out in the end. Thank you for the deceit, lies and gutless time wasting. Your parents must be so proud ' shortly followed by another message saying ' Good luck to you both, you deserve each other. Their is no malice, in fact I feel like I have dodged a bullet ' the last two messages were in conjunction to a court case in America where a family member of hers who had been arrested for raping his nephew. I saw a clip from a family member saying that he had been tried and sentenced to 5 years. I had been privy to this case from the start and knew how upsetting it had been and out of respect I sent a message saying ' I'm glad xxxx got his come uppance 5 years though ??? ' and finally I sent one saying ' sorry that I forgot all this was going on 2 and a half months out of the loop and all that. My humblest apologies and deepest respect ' and that was it.
Yes, I was cautioned and the police did follow all protocol. In the interview I just told the truth of exactly what had happened. I wasn't going to deny sending the messages, the police had screenshots, I still had the messages on my phone. As I had been de-arrested I thought that it was just a formality and that it was recorded and I was cautioned in case there were any further incidents or such. I didn't feel the need to have a solicitor present as I would have said the exact same thing if a solicitor was present or not. I have always been taught that if you are telling the truth you have nothing to hide.
The only time I believe the police didn't follow strict protocol was when they arrested me I have two shotguns ' all legally owned and on a licence in a cabinet with full documentation ' and when they seized them I wasn't issued with a receipt or anything. I didn't know where they even were for 3 months ?!
The only time I believe the police didn't follow strict protocol was when they arrested me I have two shotguns ' all legally owned and on a licence in a cabinet with full documentation ' and when they seized them I wasn't issued with a receipt or anything. I didn't know where they even were for 3 months ?!
Exactly. But she is a very convincing liar. I have been told by a psychologist acquaintance that she is the epitome of a sociopathic narcissist. On reading up on this condition it was like reading a handbook on her. I treated her 5 year old son as my own, invested time into building a good relationship with him. I spent money on the house, garden, pets and vehicles, helped various members of her family out in times of need. Treated her like a queen. None of which was reciprocated in any shape or form. She ripped me off for quite a large sum of money, cheated and lied. Failed to return a £6k engagement ring ( we were only engaged for 4 months ) but what really hurts is the lies and level of vitriol that she has gone to ' to win at any cost ' I could go on but I'm sure you get the gist.
I have read stories like this before, and you are always cynical as to wether the truth has been fully told, but I assure you that this is the case. Friends and family are outraged but have not got involved as they don't want to further ' inflame ' the situation further.
I have read stories like this before, and you are always cynical as to wether the truth has been fully told, but I assure you that this is the case. Friends and family are outraged but have not got involved as they don't want to further ' inflame ' the situation further.
Carinaman.
Yes. It was his last night on shift before retiring. He apologised to me and said ' the trouble is nowadays ... ' and gesticulated upstairs whilst shaking his head. I appreciate that the police have a job to do and domestic violence is a sensitive case but..... Like I said earlier, I never even raised my voice to her. Also as has been mentioned a warning would have been more than appropriate.
Yes. It was his last night on shift before retiring. He apologised to me and said ' the trouble is nowadays ... ' and gesticulated upstairs whilst shaking his head. I appreciate that the police have a job to do and domestic violence is a sensitive case but..... Like I said earlier, I never even raised my voice to her. Also as has been mentioned a warning would have been more than appropriate.
He also said that ' if I was such a perceived threat to her and her sons safety why did it take them 10 days to arrest me ' and as I wasn't a perceived threat was it really necessary for two cars with blue lights flashing to turn up at 1am down a private road to arrest me and then make a song and dance wandering in and out of my house with my guns with all the neighbors watching. I was mortified as to what they must have been thinking. Thankfully after explaining they were all very sympathetic as they know me and my character well.
Also just to add. I have to travel 35 miles to the family court. Whereas she gets to go to the local court to give her evidence by video link ??
At the first hearing, after sitting around all day it became apparent that there wasn't going to be enough time for the hearing and it was going to be adjourned. The prosecution approached my solicitor with the option of me signing a ' no contact order ? ' and that would be it. I agreed as my solicitor said that even if I was acquitted that this would be likely to happen anyway. I said that there would be no way that she would agree to it due to her spiteful nature, but he said ' you might be surprised as it will mean she won't have to reappear ' sure enough 10 mins later it came back that she wasn't prepared to accept that and she wanted it adjourned and to go to trial.
At the first hearing, after sitting around all day it became apparent that there wasn't going to be enough time for the hearing and it was going to be adjourned. The prosecution approached my solicitor with the option of me signing a ' no contact order ? ' and that would be it. I agreed as my solicitor said that even if I was acquitted that this would be likely to happen anyway. I said that there would be no way that she would agree to it due to her spiteful nature, but he said ' you might be surprised as it will mean she won't have to reappear ' sure enough 10 mins later it came back that she wasn't prepared to accept that and she wanted it adjourned and to go to trial.
Rick101. Yep, I know. My friends have paid me out on that too. Like I said in one of my messages to her. " I dodged a bullet there " I think she has her teeth into a new ' victim ' now. Not the ex, he bailed on her and went back to his wife and kids. The new guy moved in 2 weeks after the ex moved out. Milk stays on the shelf longer than her !!
Like all mistakes, I have certainly learned a lesson !!!
Like all mistakes, I have certainly learned a lesson !!!
As a side note. Although the arresting officer was a perfectly pleasant enough chap, he did do and say a few odd things. Most notably was whilst talking about my cars that were parked on the driveway he said that he had been a traffic officer, and by the style of his driving which was slightly erratic to say the least, I highly doubt it !
I hasten to add that I have friends who are in the police and I also dated a wpc for a while and I have nothing but respect and admiration for the difficult and often thankless job they do.
I hasten to add that I have friends who are in the police and I also dated a wpc for a while and I have nothing but respect and admiration for the difficult and often thankless job they do.
Like I said before. I was naive, lesson learnt.
Anyway, just got back from court. Same scenario as last time. Courts ran out of time. Prosecution offered her a deal, that I would be acquitted but have a restraining order, which I gather I would get even if it went to trial and I was acquitted. But no. She wants it to go to trial, so it has been adjourned until October at some point TBC. It's getting quite boring now
Anyway, just got back from court. Same scenario as last time. Courts ran out of time. Prosecution offered her a deal, that I would be acquitted but have a restraining order, which I gather I would get even if it went to trial and I was acquitted. But no. She wants it to go to trial, so it has been adjourned until October at some point TBC. It's getting quite boring now
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