Is this inappropriate behavior?
Discussion
I was chatting to my sister last night and she was telling me my nephew has been suspended from Beavers for 'inappropriate behavior'. At Beavers a kid kicked him, so in retaliation he either punched or grabbed his genitals. The kid then went and got his sister for backup who also kicked him, again he either punched or grabbed her genitals. After speaking to him, my sister found out the week before in the playground another kid had kicked him in his genitals and she thinks this is where he got this idea from as she's not seen him do something like this before.
My sister said it was a parent helper who witnessed this and reported it as 'inappropriate behavior' hence the suspension. Personally I think this is the wrong call as I can't see any sexual element to what happened, the fact he tried the same trick on the girl shows his naivety regarding the birds and the bees. It wasn't something like show me yours and I'll show you mine. There's no doubt he was in the wrong by hitting them and if he had done the right thing and told on them they would have gotten in trouble and not him, my sister agrees with this too. But I've got the feeling if he had been hit on another pressure point the week before say a poke in the eye he would have done the same thing to them.
I think all three of the kids should have been punished for what is my mind was just a simple playground brawl, rather than my nephew getting suspended for 'inappropriate behavior', but I'm interested in what the you guys think as my thinking is obviously biased with him being my nephew.
My sister said it was a parent helper who witnessed this and reported it as 'inappropriate behavior' hence the suspension. Personally I think this is the wrong call as I can't see any sexual element to what happened, the fact he tried the same trick on the girl shows his naivety regarding the birds and the bees. It wasn't something like show me yours and I'll show you mine. There's no doubt he was in the wrong by hitting them and if he had done the right thing and told on them they would have gotten in trouble and not him, my sister agrees with this too. But I've got the feeling if he had been hit on another pressure point the week before say a poke in the eye he would have done the same thing to them.
I think all three of the kids should have been punished for what is my mind was just a simple playground brawl, rather than my nephew getting suspended for 'inappropriate behavior', but I'm interested in what the you guys think as my thinking is obviously biased with him being my nephew.
Vaud said:
I think they all need talking to.
In this instance all should have been suspended.
Your nephew needs to learn to walk away and talk to an adult. The other parties need to understand that fighting is off limits at Beavers.
Yes totally agree with this, I think they were all wrong, just suspending him sends the wrong messageIn this instance all should have been suspended.
Your nephew needs to learn to walk away and talk to an adult. The other parties need to understand that fighting is off limits at Beavers.
Edited by Lenovo on Wednesday 12th September 11:55
For those interested as things have quietened down my sister got my nephew's side of the story (he clammed up initially):
They were all playing a game, my nephew got put out and went to sit next to his friend who was already out, so they ended up like this: kid1-nephew-friend.
Kid1 stood up and started kicking him on the leg (my nephew is not sure why he started doing this, I would imagine it he has probably knocked into him whilst sitting down or maybe he was the one that put him out the game first) from a sitting position my nephew then poked him in the genitals.
This stopped kid1 kicking him, kid1 then went and got his sister (kid2)
Kid2 comes over with kid1 and the both start kicking him (he's still sitting) he then pokes kid2 in the genitals, at this point the helper sees whats happening and breaks it up.
The confusion of the punching/grabbing came from the helper as that's what they said.
The bit that makes my sister angry is not that he's being punished for fighting, it's the fact they are only suspending him and not the other two kids as he poked them in the genitals and they are treating this like some sort of sex crime. Nevertheless she's had a good long chat with him about how what he did is wrong and how in the future he needs to tell a leader/helper if someone starts hitting him rather than hitting back and also a chat about genitals and hitting there. He's also lost quite a few privileges for a week. She has no plans to take this any further other than being annoyed by it.
They were all playing a game, my nephew got put out and went to sit next to his friend who was already out, so they ended up like this: kid1-nephew-friend.
Kid1 stood up and started kicking him on the leg (my nephew is not sure why he started doing this, I would imagine it he has probably knocked into him whilst sitting down or maybe he was the one that put him out the game first) from a sitting position my nephew then poked him in the genitals.
This stopped kid1 kicking him, kid1 then went and got his sister (kid2)
Kid2 comes over with kid1 and the both start kicking him (he's still sitting) he then pokes kid2 in the genitals, at this point the helper sees whats happening and breaks it up.
The confusion of the punching/grabbing came from the helper as that's what they said.
The bit that makes my sister angry is not that he's being punished for fighting, it's the fact they are only suspending him and not the other two kids as he poked them in the genitals and they are treating this like some sort of sex crime. Nevertheless she's had a good long chat with him about how what he did is wrong and how in the future he needs to tell a leader/helper if someone starts hitting him rather than hitting back and also a chat about genitals and hitting there. He's also lost quite a few privileges for a week. She has no plans to take this any further other than being annoyed by it.
You honestly couldn't make this s
t up
My sister called me last night in tears, an officious woman from Scouting HQ in London had called her about the 'incident'. They basically told her she needs help with my nephew's behavior! My sister tried to explain what happened is an isolated incident and he has no problems at any of the other clubs/activities he attends. He also hasn't had any other problems at Beavers. The woman then said she is passing the details of the incident to Child Services, my sister objected to this. The woman said she was doing it as she wanted their advice and they could offer her help with his behavior, my sister again repeated she didn't need any help.
Isn't this a breach of GDPR? Passing personal information to a third party without consent? Or is there an exclusion for a child 'at risk' if so how can they claim he is at risk, two kids were kicking him and he struck them back???
t upMy sister called me last night in tears, an officious woman from Scouting HQ in London had called her about the 'incident'. They basically told her she needs help with my nephew's behavior! My sister tried to explain what happened is an isolated incident and he has no problems at any of the other clubs/activities he attends. He also hasn't had any other problems at Beavers. The woman then said she is passing the details of the incident to Child Services, my sister objected to this. The woman said she was doing it as she wanted their advice and they could offer her help with his behavior, my sister again repeated she didn't need any help.
Isn't this a breach of GDPR? Passing personal information to a third party without consent? Or is there an exclusion for a child 'at risk' if so how can they claim he is at risk, two kids were kicking him and he struck them back???
Gavia said:
GDPR? Are you for real?
Maybe there’s a point to what they’re saying. Despite some on here agreeing with you, grabbing someone’s genitals is not acceptable. This could probably be dealt with in a very short space of time this way, instead of objecting to everything.
I’m pretty certain that if it was your nephew on the receiving end, your indignation would be reversed.
Its more the fact they are telling her she is basically an unfit parent so they have to get Child Services involved. The whole thing is so blown out of proportion. I don't think any parent wants to have Child Services at their door. Maybe there’s a point to what they’re saying. Despite some on here agreeing with you, grabbing someone’s genitals is not acceptable. This could probably be dealt with in a very short space of time this way, instead of objecting to everything.
I’m pretty certain that if it was your nephew on the receiving end, your indignation would be reversed.
Just to be clear my sister is in no way defending what he did, it was wrong and he has suffered consequences and rightly so, she just doesn't see why Child Services now have to be involved. Also there was no grabbing involved he poked the other kids.
Edited by Lenovo on Thursday 20th September 08:48
TooMany2cvs said:
Red Devil said:
Where is there any of evidence in this thread of parents in 'complete denial'?
Lenovo said:
My sister tried to explain what happened is an isolated incident and he has no problems at any of the other clubs/activities he attends. He also hasn't had any other problems at Beavers. The woman then said she is passing the details of the incident to Child Services, my sister objected to this. The woman said she was doing it as she wanted their advice and they could offer her help with his behavior, my sister again repeated she didn't need any help.
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