Divorce - can I be forced to sell the house?
Discussion
As some of you may have been following on a thread in Health Matters, my (now ex) wife and I are going through a separation preliminary to a full divorce. I'm planning to buy her out and keep the present property. It's become somewhat sticky on the side of me arranging to take on the joint mortgage, arrange a further mortgage to buy her out of her share of the equity, and then get the title deeds transferred into my name, thus allowing her to take a mortgage out in her own name for her new property. Arranging the mortgage aspect has taken my bank a full three weeks, and she is getting very restless - apparently hers was all done and agreed in a single afternoon, which I don't necessarily believe.
Her latest wheeze is to threaten to call the whole thing off, and put the present house up for sale, and then split the proceeds 50/50 and go our separate ways. This obviously would incur great additional expense to me for estate agents, conveyancing, moving, finding somewhere else, storage, etc, etc, etc, which I dearly want to avoid as I'm ending up fairly skint as it is with all that's going on. One of her parting comments this evening was "Why should I be the only one having all the pain and hassle?" Erm because you instigated this, it's your choice to leave me?
Anyway, seeking the opinion of the finest minds - once the mortgage is agreed and transferred to her solicitors, I will be in a position to completely and fully buy her out financially. Is there any legal circumstance whereby she would have the opportunity to force me to sell the house against my will?
Her latest wheeze is to threaten to call the whole thing off, and put the present house up for sale, and then split the proceeds 50/50 and go our separate ways. This obviously would incur great additional expense to me for estate agents, conveyancing, moving, finding somewhere else, storage, etc, etc, etc, which I dearly want to avoid as I'm ending up fairly skint as it is with all that's going on. One of her parting comments this evening was "Why should I be the only one having all the pain and hassle?" Erm because you instigated this, it's your choice to leave me?
Anyway, seeking the opinion of the finest minds - once the mortgage is agreed and transferred to her solicitors, I will be in a position to completely and fully buy her out financially. Is there any legal circumstance whereby she would have the opportunity to force me to sell the house against my will?
kiethton said:
She could, but to do would take far longer and cost significantly more than the course of action you are proposing.
It's causing quite a bit of stress and anxiety as it is. I suspect she knows this and is weaponising the situation to make me comply with other slightly ridiculous demands.I'm a reasonable and fair person. She continues to paint me as exactly the opposite.
This is rumbling on still. I thought we had a financial agreement pinned down, sorted out, and discussed like two reasonable mature adults. My solicitor had drafted an agreement to that effect, reviewed it with me, and was ready to whizz it off recorded delivery to her solicitors to review with her. She came home yesterday, knowing I had been to the solicitors that lunchtime, and asked how I had gotten on - when I explained what was happening, thereafter followed a two hour hairdryer session completely out of the blue, calling me every name she could think of, and ending with a parting comment of "I'm agreeing to nothing, I'll take you to court and f
k your life up..." Which was nice.
Apparently she has gone out and bought a load of furniture and effects for her new house, unknown to me. The gist of it is she now wants my share of full market value for all her new assets - for example apparently her new three piece suite cost her £3,800, she considers me liable for half of this. My solicitor laughed like a drain when I explained this down the phone, and said that's really not how things work. It's her choice to buy an expensive new sofa, and has no bearing on what I am due her as settlement. What remains in our present house will become the attributes of settlement, not whatever she buys new.
My stress levels are through the roof, and it's a good job I have a savvy solicitor in my corner, as in my present frame of mind I'd just sign everything over to get her off my case. She has turned into a right nasty piece of work. Phoned me again this morning when I was at work - another five minutes of screaming down the phone asking why I wasn't camped out in the solicitor's office to get this sorted, calling me everything she could think of. Very depressing.
k your life up..." Which was nice.Apparently she has gone out and bought a load of furniture and effects for her new house, unknown to me. The gist of it is she now wants my share of full market value for all her new assets - for example apparently her new three piece suite cost her £3,800, she considers me liable for half of this. My solicitor laughed like a drain when I explained this down the phone, and said that's really not how things work. It's her choice to buy an expensive new sofa, and has no bearing on what I am due her as settlement. What remains in our present house will become the attributes of settlement, not whatever she buys new.
My stress levels are through the roof, and it's a good job I have a savvy solicitor in my corner, as in my present frame of mind I'd just sign everything over to get her off my case. She has turned into a right nasty piece of work. Phoned me again this morning when I was at work - another five minutes of screaming down the phone asking why I wasn't camped out in the solicitor's office to get this sorted, calling me everything she could think of. Very depressing.
ADJimbo said:
My situation was identical. Why is it the majority of women think like this and exactly the same as each other? Is there some sort of a secret school class they go to after school which tells them this is how it works?
My ex-Wife had it in her head that she was due to 'spousal maintenance' to the day she died. Her thought process was that I would pay for everything post divorce for her - her new house, new car and so on. It got to the point where my solicitor, after twenty years of dealing with divorce day in, day out, genuinely laughed at some of the stuff she was coming out with. Even her own solicitors washed their hands of her as she was that much of a liability and would not listen to their advice.
In the end, and in order to f**k my life up, she engaged the services of a local barrister on direct access the barrister does criminal mitigation work - always in the local paper trying to get smackheads off) and we all ended up for her "day in court".
The hearing lasted less than thirty minutes - most of that time - the judge trying to explain to her how it worked until even he lost patience and read her the riot act. She even argued with him that he did not even know the law - he snapped, ruled 50/50 and kicked us all out.
I would, in all fairness, have gone to 70/30 in her favour had she have been sensible throughout.
Hang in there matey and just chuckle at her stupidity. Better days will come.
Thanks Jimbo, and sorry to hear that yours was as stressful as mine seems to be shaping up to be. We started out sensible and amicable, then she engaged the services of some small solicitors that my solicitor (a large established firm with a good reputation) hadn't even heard of. Once that happened she was coming home nightly telling me about all the new ways she could find to screw me over - compulsory purchase, court orders, the latest one the other day was indeed spousal maintenance. I mentioned this to my solicitor and she laughed, stating there was zero grounds for such an action. I get the feeling that either she is sounding off ideas to stress me out, or she is getting some very poor advice from her solicitor who smell a cash cow. Either way it's maddening.My ex-Wife had it in her head that she was due to 'spousal maintenance' to the day she died. Her thought process was that I would pay for everything post divorce for her - her new house, new car and so on. It got to the point where my solicitor, after twenty years of dealing with divorce day in, day out, genuinely laughed at some of the stuff she was coming out with. Even her own solicitors washed their hands of her as she was that much of a liability and would not listen to their advice.
In the end, and in order to f**k my life up, she engaged the services of a local barrister on direct access the barrister does criminal mitigation work - always in the local paper trying to get smackheads off) and we all ended up for her "day in court".
The hearing lasted less than thirty minutes - most of that time - the judge trying to explain to her how it worked until even he lost patience and read her the riot act. She even argued with him that he did not even know the law - he snapped, ruled 50/50 and kicked us all out.
I would, in all fairness, have gone to 70/30 in her favour had she have been sensible throughout.
Hang in there matey and just chuckle at her stupidity. Better days will come.
I have a horrible feeling that I'm going to end up in a similar position to yours - my wife has stated she wants to go after me for every penny, and she doesn't care if it all gets spent on court fees so long as she gets back at me. She's also been on a Grand Tour around our mutual friends and family employing a Scorched Earth policy when it comes to my good name and reputation, telling them all I'm a reincarnation of Zerubbabel or somesuch. That's started to backfire as I've had people messaging me in support.
Latest wheeze is that she is going to cut off all the utilities to the house & leave me without power, heating & internet/TV. I posted up a thread a few months ago in the Health Matters section expressing concern for her mental wellbeing - it's more relevant than ever. I genuinely think something has fused upstairs, and there is simply no reasoning with her at all. Nothing I do seems to pacify this enraged lunatic, but I can't kick her out of the house as it remains the matrimonial home until such times as the deeds are transferred. I will take the greatest of pleasure in waving that last removal lorry goodbye, and then hopefully I can reset my own badly damaged mental health.
For those still caring at this point - signed paperwork today to get the deeds transferred into my sole name, finances all in place to buy her out, solicitor says I need to sit back now and let her side put in a bit of work for once instead of me chasing my tail. Interestingly, she has proposed a separation date of March 2020 - so three years ago...? My solicitor has said yep jump at it - all assets and values will need to get backdated to this date, so anything that has increased in value over that time period will be null and void. It's a very strange circumstance for her to propose - in fact she wanted to agree to a date back in 2017 for some reason. Anyway, I've managed to value certain assets back to 2020 based on auction values from the time. I suspect she may be in for an unpleasant shock. The house alone we have made £18k of mortgage payments in that time, so I probably should withdraw a 50% share of that value... My solicitor has said "well if she has assets since that time you will be unable to claim" - to be honest if she has won the Euromillions I don't care, I just want rid of her now.
The same thing had occurred to both me and my solicitor, and by agreeing to the March 2020 date then I renounce any claim to whatever she might have fallen into. I considered the implications of this for about a pfemtosecond before deciding that I didn't care in the slightest about money - I just want rid of her now.
First bill has come in from my solicitors - nearly £900 for preparing one document and exchanging it
I'm in the wrong profession.
First bill has come in from my solicitors - nearly £900 for preparing one document and exchanging it
I'm in the wrong profession.My solicitor has passed the matter onto their internal conveyancers to progress my deeds and pass them on to her solicitor, to allow my wife to proceed with her purchase by the end of March. The deeds were due to be complete by last Friday 24th & sent across, but they have still not been completed as of today Thursday 30th. I have acknowledgement from my solicitor that all finances are in place, but the conveyancer dealing with it isn't returning my calls or emails. My wife has stated that any delays to her moving in date and resulting penalties will be passed to me. This is most frustrating as I have done everything I can to progress this in a timely fashion, and my solicitor are dragging their heels.
In other news, my wife took to social media to bad mouth and denounce me publicly, blaming me for all her woes and stress on a Faceache post - and then made sure I couldn't see it by restricting the post. Thankfully a mutual friend realised this and took screen shots for me to see. I'm not impressed that my reputation is getting dragged through the mud for no fault of my own, but it's a measure of her as a person.
In other news, my wife took to social media to bad mouth and denounce me publicly, blaming me for all her woes and stress on a Faceache post - and then made sure I couldn't see it by restricting the post. Thankfully a mutual friend realised this and took screen shots for me to see. I'm not impressed that my reputation is getting dragged through the mud for no fault of my own, but it's a measure of her as a person.
CraigyMc said:
Roderick, do you have any NS&I premium bonds?
If you do, check if any have won...
I don't have any, but it's a good thought. Maybe she won an accumulator on the horses and didn't tell me.If you do, check if any have won...
Anyway, for those still playing along at home, I managed to conclude everything with solicitors, as did my (ex) wife. She now has her moving in date, and has buggered off to Thailand for a friend's wedding in the interim. The chickens and I are now home alone, she has emptied a fair portion of the fixtures and fittings, and will no doubt now proceed to chase me through solicitors for the brand new market value of everything left behind.
My solicitor has said I'm effectively due her nothing, because she has taken a fair proportion (her fair share) of furnishings, and that left behind is considered effectively worthless from a legal point of view, so it should be considered a score draw. I know she won't see it that way, and am prepared for a hopefully brief legal contretemps.
Anyway, I've more than halved the daily gas consumption by turning the heat down to something less lizard-like, so that's one item of good news.
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