Signs that you're a Geordie
Discussion
Just received this by e-mail.
1. You call everyone "Pet" or "Bonnie Lad".
2. You think that crossing the Tyne to Gateshead requires jabs and a passport.
3. You think that anyone from below the Tyne drinks shandy and smells of lavender.
4. You call Newcastle "The Toon".
5. When away from the Toon you insist on drinking Newcastle Broon Ale from a half-pint glass yet when you're out in the Toon you only drink pints of lager.
6. You know you're guaranteed a shag if you hang around the Bigg Market at around five to two on a Friday or Saturday night.
7. You think Eldon Square rivals both the Metro Centre and Oxford Street.
8. Anyone from Middlesborough is a c**t.
9. Anyone from Sunderland is a reet c**t.
10. You always go to Whitley Bay for your summer holiday.
11. The A1058 is the road to the coast!
12. You know you can get to London for £10 on National Express but you never bother going.
13. When out on a night if you're a bloke you must only wear shirt sleeves whatever the weather. This is especially true if it's winter.
14. You still read Viz.
15. You still find Viz funny.
16. You wrote into Letterbox with some Viz Top Tips of your own.
17. You believe that Viz's Top Tips are really quite practical.
18. You call your lunch "bait" (pronounced baert)
19. Your speech is punctuated with "howay!" and "aye".
20. You still wish they'd called Newcastle Polytechnic the City University of Newcastle upon Tyne instead of the University of Northumbria when polys became Unis - (you need to look at the acronym!).
21. You think that Byker Grove should win a BAFTA.
22. You also think Ant and Dec sold out and now are now Southern Shandy Drinking Poofters.
23. The A19 south is the road to ruin.
24. Hexham, Ponteland and in particular Darras Hall is where you aspire to live if you won the lottery.
25. You would rather Manchester United won the FA Cup if you had to choose between them, Sunderland and Boro.
1. You call everyone "Pet" or "Bonnie Lad".
2. You think that crossing the Tyne to Gateshead requires jabs and a passport.
3. You think that anyone from below the Tyne drinks shandy and smells of lavender.
4. You call Newcastle "The Toon".
5. When away from the Toon you insist on drinking Newcastle Broon Ale from a half-pint glass yet when you're out in the Toon you only drink pints of lager.
6. You know you're guaranteed a shag if you hang around the Bigg Market at around five to two on a Friday or Saturday night.
7. You think Eldon Square rivals both the Metro Centre and Oxford Street.
8. Anyone from Middlesborough is a c**t.
9. Anyone from Sunderland is a reet c**t.
10. You always go to Whitley Bay for your summer holiday.
11. The A1058 is the road to the coast!
12. You know you can get to London for £10 on National Express but you never bother going.
13. When out on a night if you're a bloke you must only wear shirt sleeves whatever the weather. This is especially true if it's winter.
14. You still read Viz.
15. You still find Viz funny.
16. You wrote into Letterbox with some Viz Top Tips of your own.
17. You believe that Viz's Top Tips are really quite practical.
18. You call your lunch "bait" (pronounced baert)
19. Your speech is punctuated with "howay!" and "aye".
20. You still wish they'd called Newcastle Polytechnic the City University of Newcastle upon Tyne instead of the University of Northumbria when polys became Unis - (you need to look at the acronym!).
21. You think that Byker Grove should win a BAFTA.
22. You also think Ant and Dec sold out and now are now Southern Shandy Drinking Poofters.
23. The A19 south is the road to ruin.
24. Hexham, Ponteland and in particular Darras Hall is where you aspire to live if you won the lottery.
25. You would rather Manchester United won the FA Cup if you had to choose between them, Sunderland and Boro.
...and if you're from Middlesbrough
1. You always refer to Middlesborough as The Boro.
2. If you're posh and from the Boro you pronounce it "Middlesbroe".
3. You know someone who knows someone else who knows Chubby Brown.
4. You aspire to live in Yarm and Nunthorpe when you win the lottery.
5. You have no job and no money yet you dress only in the most expensive designer clothes from "Triad" and "Psyche".
6. You call everyone "Mate" (pronounced "mayet"
7. You understand what Pork Parmesan is.
8. You think that Pork Parmesan is quality food.
9. You think nothing of going everywhere by taxi.
10. You know you can get to London for £10 by National Express and you do so once a year, for the day, to do your Christmas shopping.
11. You beat up anyone who refers to you as a Geordie.
12. Anyone from Sunderland is a ‘kin c**t.
13. You're proud of the Riverside Stadium but you usually leave it just after half time in despair.
14. You refer to Sunderland's football ground as "the Stadium of Shite".
15. You go to Redcar for your summer Holiday's. Or if you're feeling adventurous Whitby.
16. You don't trust anyone from Stockton, Hartlepool or Sunderland, especially Hartlepool & Sunderland cos they're all in-bred.
17. If you've been out to dinner you tell all your colleagues the next day in detail what you and your fellow diners had for each course.
18. You refer to food as "scran", your friends as "marras" and blokes as "gadgeys".
19. You drink anything that's cheap.
20. At the end of the night you tell everyone you're "gannin yam".
21. You find shell suits deeply stylish.
1. You always refer to Middlesborough as The Boro.
2. If you're posh and from the Boro you pronounce it "Middlesbroe".
3. You know someone who knows someone else who knows Chubby Brown.
4. You aspire to live in Yarm and Nunthorpe when you win the lottery.
5. You have no job and no money yet you dress only in the most expensive designer clothes from "Triad" and "Psyche".
6. You call everyone "Mate" (pronounced "mayet"
7. You understand what Pork Parmesan is.
8. You think that Pork Parmesan is quality food.
9. You think nothing of going everywhere by taxi.
10. You know you can get to London for £10 by National Express and you do so once a year, for the day, to do your Christmas shopping.
11. You beat up anyone who refers to you as a Geordie.
12. Anyone from Sunderland is a ‘kin c**t.
13. You're proud of the Riverside Stadium but you usually leave it just after half time in despair.
14. You refer to Sunderland's football ground as "the Stadium of Shite".
15. You go to Redcar for your summer Holiday's. Or if you're feeling adventurous Whitby.
16. You don't trust anyone from Stockton, Hartlepool or Sunderland, especially Hartlepool & Sunderland cos they're all in-bred.
17. If you've been out to dinner you tell all your colleagues the next day in detail what you and your fellow diners had for each course.
18. You refer to food as "scran", your friends as "marras" and blokes as "gadgeys".
19. You drink anything that's cheap.
20. At the end of the night you tell everyone you're "gannin yam".
21. You find shell suits deeply stylish.
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