Anyone ever have anxiety of not being good enough at work?

[Z064life]

Hi All! So a little bit about my professional situation: I work full time in IT in now a fairly senior position (hands on/ops, not management) due to my experience. However, it feels like I've achieved all I can in my current place and politics is the limiting factor, not my ability, due to unlimited politics of all forms and indecision (don't get me wrong, I know politics is around everywhere).


I've found a vacancy which is just what I'm looking for, sounds ideal. CV sent and recruiter is confident I'll get an interview. The job is senior (current job is too but the structure isn't really there) but I feel I'm not good enough for the position, even though the job spec is in line with my experience. It's anxiety.

I know that at the current place, I'm not learning anywhere near as much as I should be, so I need to move, but where I am, things aren't done in a formal way you'd expect in the enterprise, compared to where I want to move to. That contributes to my anxiety. I feel like being senior, you're expected to know everything. It's not true as even in my department, there are senior people who openly say they don't know the cause of an issue. Any advice appreciated.

[Z064life]

I've been at my current job for four years.

If anything, that contributes to the anxiety as it is by far my longest job, with the most success. Although the success doesn't say a lot as things aren't really done properly and expectations are low, but I still perform as if expectations are high.

The thing that worries me is that you're expected to have strong experience in every aspect of the system you support. This depends on the implementations you've done of course and I am pretty well experienced and I work independently. The job spec isn't a huge leap in what I do today.


And then I'm worried that the company may be a mess too...

[Z064life]

I look around me as well and I see the people I work with. Some very good, even world class people. Others I hand hold and feels like I have to carry people in practical work and in meetings. Another factor for the unhappiness.

I am pretty competitive in wanting to be very, very good in what I do and I've always felt I'd fit in to a high functioning, talented team. The opportunity seems to be here now (this job)...


I'm just worried about probation periods I guess. I've failed a few when I first started out in IT as I had no experience of the work I was doing or even how to manage expectations, etc.

[Z064life]

So I have a second and last round interview with the place I've applied for. The job, on paper, sounds fantastic, with a chance to gain some real experience and not stagnate waiting for things to be decided. More pay, bigger company, bigger projects, etc. That also scares me.

However, I feel so anxious because I am "comfortable" where I am. I have predictability and safety. I'm not getting anywhere near the commercial experience this job could offer, and I hate the idea I'm sitting around wasting my time when I am in the prime of my career. It's not a fast paced environment and that's what I need to be working in. So I feel current job is damaging my career, and my anxiety is stemming from it.

I passed the technical interview so the employer knows I know the technology, and I am just practicing and going over stuff in labs to validate myself (and not struggling).

If I don't move, things won't improve where I am, either. All my friends and cousins move but don't seem to feel this way?

It's a huge gamble.

[Z064life]

768 said:

I worry more about whether I can do the job of the muppets around me as well as my own.

Haha I have to pick up stuff from my colleagues around me. It feels like I'm carrying the team, at times.

So I got the job!

For me, my current role is senior, as is new one. It's essentially the same job, but where the worry comes in is:

- Working for a company which is very formal in IT processes and the applications I look after are P1, profit-generating. So expectations are higher, standards are higher.
- Current company is not like this.
- In current job, I don't really have any expectations to manage. I really do as I please, for myself. This is a type of skill to learn, which you cannot buy, and being senior, you need to master expectation management.
- Maybe new job is a step too far in complexity Maybe it is too fast paced?

At the same time, I've said to myself I'd like a challenge, to be in the deep-end, to have expectations to manage, in my current job. Now the opportunity has come.

Edited by Z064life on Saturday 20th May 13:41