Issues with colleague (performance and mediation)

[HomesRose]

I work in a large professional services firm and am qualified and middle management level in my profession.

Last year (summer time), our team noticed a decline in the performance of colleague who is a newish graduate on a training contract (they started employment in September 2015). This continued for a few months, gradually getting worse despite our best efforts to train and coach, however their attitude also became quite rude and they would challenge everything in a non constructive manner.

Around October time, the individual and I had a catch up about various work ongoing and the conversation turned, at their direction, to performance and development points. To be succinct, it became fairly dramatic and the individual came in the following day and complained about the conversation we had had. They were then off sick the following week.

Other colleagues had similar feedback discussions (as is our way of working and part of our performance plan) and the individual concluded that we had effectively colluded (under my influence) and rejected all feedback. This started to mount and relationships started to strain.

Things only got worse and we reached a stage where simple pieces of work wouldn't go smoothly and the individual became very defensive and would blame everything on everyone else. The working relationship is now a nightmare to be honest and very awkward.

To cut a long story short, HR had a meeting with the individual about performance and the individual subsequently made a long list of complaints against several members of the team, with me carrying the brunt. The firm fully investigated this and no complaints were upheld. They then went off sick for a period of time and subsequently transferred to another one of our offices as they claimed they couldn't work in the same office as our team. The individual is now being managed on a performance plan.

This has been going on for c9 months now and it's been fairly stressful for me if I'm honest. I have now been asked (at the specific request of the individual) to attend mediation with them to "mend our broken relationship". Everything I've done has been professional and I don't believe the issues are from my end, but I'm willing to try to make things calm. No one else has been asked to attend this (effectively I spoke up first last year therefore I think I'm carrying the brunt of this as a result).

My concerns are - are there any risks in mediation? Can the individual take anything discussed and use this outside of mediation? They have told friends in the office they have a lawyer involved and I'm uneasy about the situation as I don't think I can really be honest in mediation for simple fear of repercussions. Also, I'm considering bringing someone into mediation with me effectively as a witness, but I don't know if this would over complicate the situation or even be permitted. I just want to protect myself and keep myself right.

All HR issues are being managed internally but I'd appreciate some thoughts of people with knowledge or experience of mediation and any advantages/risks this could carry. I'll also add that my employer has been very supportive of me and the rest of the team which has been great, but I need to make sure that I'm not exposing myself to anything untoward.

Thanks.

[HomesRose]

I manage a number of clients that they worked with me on and yes, they reported to me. They requested feedback on those jobs and I provided this in a fair and factual manner (again, this has been fully investigated and no issues were found with me or any other colleagues).

[HomesRose]

ReallyReallyGood said:

Is there a reason you are avoiding using the pronoun he/she and preferring "the individual" at every opportunity, or is there more to this? It just reads a little strange.

Purely trying to keep as anonymous as possible but for clarity, the individual and I are both female.

Thanks.

[HomesRose]

Gargamel said:

Hi, I work in HR, and have managed performance and greivance processes before.

You need to speak to your HR lead who is managing the Performance Improvement plan and find out what is happening. They should support you in the process, both in terms of what is happening and likely outcomes.

If you have already been investigated, have provided fair comment, and offered constructive feedback then you have nothing to worry about. Your firm will take your "side" over a disgruntled trainee every time.

Given that this mediation is about try to save the relationship not an Employment Tribunal then I wouldn't worry about your personal exposure. Though I would question why they would need a lawyer in that scenario.

Again, talk in detail to your HR team, I usually advise my line managers to prepare a script of a general statement, and a response to likely questions (which I would normally review prior to the meeting)

Document everything !

Thanks, that's really helpful. I'm not clear on why they need a lawyer either and they haven't communicated this as such to the firm, however they have told people internally that they have one involved. My suspicion is that her parents perhaps have a friend in that area who has had a chat and she hasn't instructed someone as such. It could also be a front - who knows.

My understanding is that the performance plan will be reviewed in June and if not successful, I believe employment MIGHT be terminated at that point. However, I've been asked if I would be amenable to mediation as it would be helpful - either to repair the relationship or to demonstrate that all appropriate steps were taken to remedy this situation. The reason I'm uneasy is that any conversation or email I have with her is pulled apart and she is continuing to make informal complaints about things (example - I asked her to format a letter after she had been working on this and she challenged that I never told her to do this when I briefed her on the work then proceeded to make a complaint that I wasn't clear on what I wanted. To me this is a moot point but it's an example of the daily issues I have at present).

Part of me thinks we won't get to mediation but the plan is to continue down this route for now if I accept. I just don't want her to be able to take anything I say away and try and use this in a negative manner for me given the ongoing issues.

Also, I hadn't been documenting things but I am now given how long this has dragged on - thank you.

[HomesRose]

Gargamel said:

Also - whilst it is unsettling that they are openly saying they have a lawyer involved there are several things that coulb be happening and I have personally seen all three of these

1. They don't .. its all bullst. Lawyers are expensive and ETs are notoriously tricky to guess an outcome.

2. They do, and they are trying to get the company to slip up on process. Just follow the company disciplinary procedure to the letter and trust the process, if the company has the wrong policy - that is not your issue.

3. I have received a number of letters from Employees Lawyers claiming various things, in each instance the company has stood its ground, stuck to process and policy and left the employee to deciede whether they really have a case or not, so far they haven't had a case. Not because we are bds or anything, but simply that we have followed employment law, policy and process and have a weight of documented evidence that we have done so. Mostly the employees are chancing their arm for a bigger settlement.

4. The company will likely settle with the employee anyway, Mutual Separation agreement, again ask your HR team if this is the option.

I would also discuss with their current line manager, to ensure you are aligned on what the company position actually is. Eg - worth saving, looking for grounds to dismiss, trying to get to a mutual separation.

Could this even proceed to an employment tribunal? She has been employed for under 2 years and my understanding is if her employment was terminated, it would be as a result of continued poor performance after a process to improve this. I'm slightly digressing but to be honest I'm getting a bit sick of having to go through this nearly every day for what's been around 9 months now. I have a busy job otherwise and this is taking over my life to some extent - inside and outside of work. My colleagues are also completely miserable about this.

[HomesRose]

bga said:

The HR team is operating a process and unfortunately you have been dragged into it. It sounds like they are managing the individual out but they have to be seen to be doing everything they can to give the individual the chance to improve - this includes mediation.

It can take a long time to exit poor performers as internal legal teams tend to be risk averse and can greatly hinder the process. The longest I have heard of in Professional Services is 3 years and that one ended up with legal action being taken against (and subsequently dropped) my wife who was an HR Senior Manager who picked up the case.

As mentioned by a previous poster, speak to your HR lead about it (possibly via your People Management Lead - if that exists in your firm).

Look on the bright side - if they are on a training contract and are useless then it's likely that they will fail their exams at second attempt and be fired anyway!

I completely agree with your first paragraph, that's entirely my feelings and view.

On your last paragraph, they actually did fail their exams last year and could have been terminated due to the mark they received which was below a certain mark, but the firm unusually allowed a second attempt because we're so short staffed at a junior level (which I'm certain they now regret). They then passed the resit but still have exams to go.

That's been really helpful - thank you.

[HomesRose]

Gargamel said:

Not sure you can win an ET with a complaint that my manager wasn't clear on what they wanted....

Anyway - My suggested approach would be to broaden the whole conversation out and conduct it as a coaching conversation. IE all suggestions and ideas come from the individual themselves.

Don't get drawn into very specific detail of events, focus on the behaviors you are seeing and the impact on the team or client.

Lots of good articles on coaching poor performers

Good idea - thanks. Do you think that it's a worthwhile process then?

I don't want to get drawn into a he said she said debate but I would be interested to hear her "behaviour" complaints and what she would like me to do to remedy these (I'm not saying that this is realistic, I feel that I've been more than fair and probably over accommodating to her in the past but we aren't all perfect so maybe there is something I can work on). I do think this is emotionally driven and by way of background, she's been a high achiever all her life and suddenly is in an environment where she is clearly struggling with the level or type of work and a past exam fail has no doubt put a big dent in her confidence, so I feel that she is blaming everyone around her for this and not accepting any of the issues as her own.

I'd also like to explain to her the impact it's had on me, but again I'll probably keep this simple and as non emotional as I can.

[HomesRose]

ReallyReallyGood said:

Since it's not a tribunal, can you just refuse to go to the meeting?

Yes absolutely, and HR have made it clear that I don't have to. From an off the record conversation with someone very senior within the team, they think it would be helpful for the firm as it would demonstrate that we have taken all steps to help, but they have made it clear that I don't have to.

I guess my worry is if I decline, she will most likely point the finger and say that I refused to do it and to be honest - I don't want to help her case at all after the grief and upset she's caused me with false accusations and just utter nonsense. My feeling throughout this is that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't - I can't win.

[HomesRose]

Lotus Notes said:

It sounds as though you should go to the meeting. Beforehand, find out who the mediator is and get a few coaching tips from HR and tell them your fears about the emotional aspect and the stress its putting on you.

During the mediation, if the discussion goes off at a tangent, then it should be brought back on topic by the mediator. If issues have been cleared up by previous investigations, then state this and ask to move on. It's not an opportunity to appeal!

If you speak about the performance, then express yourself from a company point of view. i.e. Joe Bloggs PLC expects us to follow-up on service issues within three working days, if I am unable to do this, then I'll speak to my line manager and review the problem and we are all expected to do this..

Answers like..Maybe I could have addressed the performance shortfalls with you differently, but at the time I believed I was clear and concise about the nature of the problem.

Key points of Mediation:
The core principles of mediation are that it is a voluntary, confidential, without prejudice process in which parties try to reach a
consensual agreement.
Mediators are facilitators who are impartial and independent.
While the mediation process is flexible, most mediations follow a similar structure.
Mediation methodology encourages parties to engage with the emotional aspects of a dispute, generate creative solutions and
widen the options for agreement.
Mediation finds practical solutions rather than focusing on whether a party was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’

The problem's not easy and you have my empathy, but your performance is not in question here, it's the 'injured party' who needs to understand that feedback is necessary in a good working environment.

From her perspective: As she's a junior, I can possibly assume that she's a late generation Z or even a Millennial. This part of the working population have rarely received feedback in their early lives and have always been told that they're the best by family and friends. A lot of things haven't been earned and once they realise they are not the best and need to reach a certain level of aptitude, then they haven't got the tools to take the feedback and improve. What do some do? You've seen first hand unfortunately..

Thank you - all noted and very helpful. I think it's best overall to go to the mediation and I'm open to doing it if it's going to help this situation, one way or another.

Issues have been cleared up the investigation (whether she wants to debate this or not, I don't) and so I'll make sure any debates of this nature are excluded. I don't have the energy to go back over old ground either.

You're absolutely right - she is a junior and is a millennial (I'll admit I had to google this for dates so I think that's right, but she's in her early part of her 20s and I'm in the latter part...technically that makes me a millennial though I think?!). I'm not making strict judgments but she is an only child and I get the impression she has led a very pampered life and been highly praised by her parents throughout, so she's taken the feedback very badly. They've also quite clearly been heavily involved in this process as some of the emails I've had from her disputing things have come later at night and have been worded in a very bizarre and overly formal manner, so I think she is taking the "issues" home, having a discussion then responding via their guidance. They work in totally different environments though so I don't think they properly understand how things work in our environment.

Thanks to everyone who has responded - I feel a lot more at ease now. I'm just hoping this all goes away sooner rather than later though, it's been a total drain on my life.

[HomesRose]

TwistingMyMelon said:

I would get some thicker skin and not worry about it so much

Employees shout all kind of crap, the lawyer one especially, as has been said this isn't cheap unless its a easy win case

Welcome to the world of employing spoilt idiots, you will get lots more like this over the years!!

But yeah I would take everything they say with a large pinch of bullst and just develop improving them in a firm but fair way

I hear you, I do have thick skin but the time this has dragged on, coupled with other general life events, has become quite frankly a complete pain in the a*se. Or maybe I'm just a moaner...

[HomesRose]

randlemarcus said:

Begs the question about why HR havent simply turned round and said "sorry, not working out, here's your P45"

I'd love to know the answer to this too.

[HomesRose]

bga said:

I have no doubt HR would love to sack them.

They are often hindered by:

1. Internal employment lawyers can be very risk averse and they will give any final OK's.
2. Internal process has not been followed at some point, thus making a legitimate case for unfair dismissal.
3. The individual has some lever or a senior supporter (the joys of the partnership model).

Don't forget that HR's role is to protect the business and there are risks from 1. unfair dismissal 2. having a poor performing team member doing client work 3. losing billable hours by tying up people like the OP on internal stuff.

It could also be that the HR team are genuinely crap or understaffed (if it is Big4 firm then there are definitely staffing problems at 2 of them at this point in time).

I'd be inclined to go with point 1, point 3 is definitely not in scope.

Interest re your comment on Big 4 HR staffing issues - I tried to PM you but it won't let me as I registered a new account for this thread for fairly obvious reasons.

Thanks.

[HomesRose]

bga said:

If you permit messages on your new profile then I'll ping you.

Should be sorted now.

[HomesRose]

Countdown said:

Op - would I be right in thinking you're a Lead Auditor or Audit Manager for a mid-tier audit firm?

Almost - I work for one of the Big 4 but I'm not in audit (thankfully... )

[HomesRose]

Countdown said:

Ah ok - it's just that your scenario reminded me of my happy days working in audit 20+ years ago. You could get lumbered with any numpty in your team and some could be difficult to manage. However (from what I am told) performance management in Big 4 is usually pretty direct. If they've had feedback from several different line managers I'm surprised the person in question isn't being told some home truths.

Audit really isn't for me! Our team is very stable which is good, but the flip side is you do work with the same people day in and day out and unfortunately in these circumstances, it's making things difficult.

You're right, performance management is pretty direct with a view of continually developjng people, but in this case we've all been accused of colluding (under my influence) and effectively providing incorrect feedback. Obviously we are all wrong and this person knows better and is correct...!

[HomesRose]

psi310398 said:

Three quick questions - what exactly is the mediation expected to accomplish? Are you ever going to work with her again? Are you interested in having a relationship with her? If no to the latter two, I'd simply not engage.

I used to be an ED in a Big Four firm. They do like processes but they are also quite hard-headed and respect hard-headedness in their staff.

I'd not have had a lot of time for a trainee causing problems and I'd have had a lot of sympathy and support for a Manager declining to do this for the sake of HR.

She has requested mediation to mend the so called broken relationship. My genuine feeling is that she's requested it to continue making life tricky for the firm (and us) to try and cling on whilst building a case and also probably hoping I'll decline so that she can try and allege that I'm the problem.

Am I ever going to work with her again - if she stays then the likelihood in the long run is no. She will only stay if she comes out of her performance plan with good feedback from enough people and that will not come from me or my close colleagues based on her performance since she went on the plan (which I'd say is worse than ever coupled with a sickly fake and sarcastic attitude). If that happens, it's been agreed that it's best that she works with the people providing good feedback and not our team.

Am I interested in having a relationship with her? Absolutely not. You could argue loosely that we were probably friends when she first joined and I did quite like her, but after the amount of grief she's caused I want nothing to do with her ever again.

[HomesRose]

elanfan said:

Well you've answered your on question with regard to the mediation right there.

Following on from someone else's post above and I know yours are lady bits but I'm wondering whether you are being tested to see if you have the cohonnas for a more senior role. Unpleasant decisions get made all the time, maybe it's your turn? Bypass HR knock on the door of your most senior manager that you dare. Tell him straight about the waste of time this woman is, drain on resources, argumentative moaner etc and that you want her out before she takes root never mind the waste of time mediation will be. Even if you don't get the result you're after you may get a bit more notice taken of you by management.

Do keep us updated

Will do, I'm on holiday for a week so I'll probably be in a more knowledgable position next week as there's an almost daily update or chatter in the team on this subject.

[HomesRose]

Thanks for the message psi310398.

I'm genuinely not concerned about tribunal thankfully, if it happens it happens and I imagine the firm's legal team will kick in. If we reach that state then I'll stand by the interview and discussions I've already been through which are clear and factual about everything I've said and done.

By way of background, some of the complaints to date have been:

- She sent an email about annual leave and asked our team (around 10 people) to let her know if we had any objections. I had none so I didn't reply. Another trainee also sent one a few weeks later and I replied reminding him of a deadline falling during his leave. Accusation - I favourited him over her by replying to him.

- She drafted an email for a client to send something out that wasn't due to go out until a few weeks later with another deliverable. This was wholly unnecessary (and also extremely OTT - the email was huge and full of repetition) and she did it off her own back without giving me a heads up, so I politely replied thanking her for this and noted that we would hold this until the other deliverable was ready as they would go together as a package. Accusation - I didn't applaud her pro activeness. Reality - she's spent at least an hour doing something which had zero value.

- Lots of complaints about emails having a bad "tone" (my emails are professional, properly structured and always signed off, sadly I even pay particular attention to hers to include all the necessary pleases and thank yous).

- I sent an email at 17:35 one night. Accusation - I created an expectation that I wanted her to work out of hours. Reality - I'd been in meetings all afternoon and she left at 17:30 on the dot so I missed her, I also wasn't due in the office until late morning the next day so I sent her a note when I got back to my desk that evening on something we were working on together.

- Disputes all development points I've given her. Reality - I'm senior to her, qualified in my role and specialise in junior coaching and training. I've led the last two years tax technical training for new graduates in our region.

Etc etc.

To be honest, what I would like to do is aid the firm in any way in clearing up this matter (i.e. seeing the end of this and the end of working with this person). My hope is that if I do attend mediation, it will only further highlight that she is the problem and has the issues, and my position is that I don't have an issue. I've fully cooperated so far and I'd like to continue to do so, but only as far as it doesn't introduce any issues for me. I'm now debating mediation all over again.

To answer your latter query - I am currently on track for a summer promotion and should find out in the next few weeks, but so far everything is looking positive. I'd really like to think that this isn't an exercise to test me, if it is then I think I'll be reassessing my employment if so because it's been a very unpleasant experience for me and my work are well aware that I have some quite serious issues outside of work, so if I thought this was a test then I'd be really disappointed.

Also, there have been four of us involved in this process, one at the same grade as me, one a grade a senior and one is two grades senior. The rest of the team (right up to the top) has given us their full support and I've been personally reassured of my position.

Thanks.

Edited by HomesRose on Monday 29th May 22:52

[HomesRose]

oldbanger said:

OP I appreciate that this is genuinely no laughing matter but ... oh my ... those complaints are worthy of one of those "world's silliest .. " type compilations.

... does she have an underlying mental illness, do you think?

I know, I know. There were some other interesting ones in the mix but I'd be here all night writing them up.

In all seriousness, I don't think that she does. I think she's just lived a life of success and praise from her friends and family to date and is struggling with the reality that she isn't perfect at what can be a pretty challenging and demanding job at times.

[HomesRose]

oldbanger said:

To add, I think with all of these situations there are learning opportunities, even if it's to spot the warning signs for next time. However, there may genuinely be points of learning here about managing difficult people, be it clients or staff.

Mark Goulston has a great book called Talking to Crazy which might be an interesting read (and some other great books for professionals looking to become better communicators overall)

I agree, there are some things I will refine and do differently with junior staff going forward. Also, I've probably been too nice to her in the past and let things slip for perhaps a bit too long because she had an exam resit and I didn't want to rock the boat, but the truth is her work was far below an acceptable standard and she had a rude and cheeky attitude which I just don't find acceptable regardless.

I'll look that up - thank you.