Need some good advice for a friend in trouble....
Discussion
Guys
A very good and long term friend of MrsT7 is struggling big time and I want to try and help. I dont know the full ins and outs of the situation, but will try and outline what I know. Further details can be asked if required.
The lady in question is not of low intelligence, but has been dealt a pretty shyte hand tbh.
Met a bloke and fell for him big time, had two boys by him...one of which is now about 14/15 IIRC and a real together kid, helps his mum as much as pos and helps keep his younger brother sane as much as poss. Sadly, the youngest is about 10 and is badly autistic. This creates and causes HUGE amounts of stress and aggro for both single Mum and older brother.
Father died last year - the same DAY d
head boyfriend decided to bale out of the relationship........
Mother is fighting a potentially life threatening Cancer.
Lady is now really really up st creek. CSA not getting anywhere near hwat she is entitled to from what I hear, IE approx £60 every now and then,,,,,
Now, what hurts me , is that this genuinely honest girl often doesnt eat, because she doesnt have the spare cash to buy food for all of them.....thats just not right.
I think she getting as much benefit as befits and has a council flat, but thsi isnt just right.
Yes, she does has a debt burden - £13200 on cards, just from trying to keep clothes and shoes on young growing boys....
I REALLY want to try and impove this person life but have no idea how I can a big difference.
Im not asking for pity or any of the usual PH bks, because this is honest hard times and I want to make a better person have a better life.
I have mentioned IVA to MrsT7 , and this has apprently been considered, but , again, the lady in question is deeply concerned that an IVA coiuld result in her losing the boys - the LAST thing she wants.
As I said, I dont have all the details. but can obtain more info if required, but any advice on helping her out is truly welcome.
A very good and long term friend of MrsT7 is struggling big time and I want to try and help. I dont know the full ins and outs of the situation, but will try and outline what I know. Further details can be asked if required.
The lady in question is not of low intelligence, but has been dealt a pretty shyte hand tbh.
Met a bloke and fell for him big time, had two boys by him...one of which is now about 14/15 IIRC and a real together kid, helps his mum as much as pos and helps keep his younger brother sane as much as poss. Sadly, the youngest is about 10 and is badly autistic. This creates and causes HUGE amounts of stress and aggro for both single Mum and older brother.
Father died last year - the same DAY d
head boyfriend decided to bale out of the relationship........Mother is fighting a potentially life threatening Cancer.
Lady is now really really up s
t creek. CSA not getting anywhere near hwat she is entitled to from what I hear, IE approx £60 every now and then,,,,,Now, what hurts me , is that this genuinely honest girl often doesnt eat, because she doesnt have the spare cash to buy food for all of them.....thats just not right.
I think she getting as much benefit as befits and has a council flat, but thsi isnt just right.
Yes, she does has a debt burden - £13200 on cards, just from trying to keep clothes and shoes on young growing boys....
I REALLY want to try and impove this person life but have no idea how I can a big difference.
Im not asking for pity or any of the usual PH b
ks, because this is honest hard times and I want to make a better person have a better life.I have mentioned IVA to MrsT7 , and this has apprently been considered, but , again, the lady in question is deeply concerned that an IVA coiuld result in her losing the boys - the LAST thing she wants.
As I said, I dont have all the details. but can obtain more info if required, but any advice on helping her out is truly welcome.
stuthe said:
said: You'd have to do your own research on this, but I'd be shocked if an IVA had any bearing of custody of children. I mean, Id be shocked.
So I'd say she should post on moneysaving expert, people there can offer advice and are a community setup to help people like this. And Cab.
After that, if it were me I'd keep it simple.
What are outgoings
What are incomings
Can I reduce outgoings?
Can I increase I comings?
If new improved outgoings are larger than Incomings, then drastic measures, IVA or bankruptcy. But owing 13k isn't really a bankruptcy thing in my opinion, an IVA and working through it could be a really good solution. But look at other options first to see if she can't do anything different.
To your specific point, food banks are also there to support people like this. Clothes for boys, ebay. Etc.. Etc...
Im not even sure if she can afford internet tbh Stu, but obvs I can....So I'd say she should post on moneysaving expert, people there can offer advice and are a community setup to help people like this. And Cab.
After that, if it were me I'd keep it simple.
What are outgoings
What are incomings
Can I reduce outgoings?
Can I increase I comings?
If new improved outgoings are larger than Incomings, then drastic measures, IVA or bankruptcy. But owing 13k isn't really a bankruptcy thing in my opinion, an IVA and working through it could be a really good solution. But look at other options first to see if she can't do anything different.
To your specific point, food banks are also there to support people like this. Clothes for boys, ebay. Etc.. Etc...
I dont believ outgoings can be reduced, Mrst7 and her best mate meet the Lady every 6ish weeks and always leave a few quid to assist.....
I dont know enought her situation or even IVA, but I did als how much diference it would not having the card debt and the answer was - a huge amount, hence my immediate thought of IVA....
Simpo Two said:
I'd say the first thing is to get that £13,200 credit card debt moved to somewhere with the lowest interest rate or it will drag her down like a brick whatever else she does.
I hope the kid's clothes are not new designer stuff, and the smartphone bill is not £30pcm. These things tell you how savvy she actually is.
Cut out all the non-essentials, check all due benefits, do the sums and see how that looks.
3 different cards, no smartphone, NO non essentials - ie. no actually feeding HERSELF somedays....I hope the kid's clothes are not new designer stuff, and the smartphone bill is not £30pcm. These things tell you how savvy she actually is.
Cut out all the non-essentials, check all due benefits, do the sums and see how that looks.
I know this is PH and how harsh this place is , but truly guys,come one, this girl is in the s
t and I want to help her.....mungosdad said:
Hi, I'm work for one of the uk's largest debt advice charity and have done so for a number of years. so feel well qualified to offer advice.
Firstly, personal insolvency such as an IVA or bankruptcy will have no effect on her children and there is no risk of them being taken just because she is insolvent.
Secondly, if she is struggling to feed herself or family then she should consider a local food bank. Google Trussell Trust to locate nearest one.
Regarding her debts, is she concerned abound maintaining a good credit history? (based on what you've described, she shouldn't be). If she has little in the way of assets- you mentioned the house is rented, then a DRO will be a good option. It is a form of insolvency and will affect credit for 6 years, but will write off debts and the fee is £90 much less than bankruptcy. It last for 12 months
She has to prioritise who she pays, if she hasn't been buying food because the credit card bill is due, that's not right. Non secured credit cards and loans are non priority, can pay them a £1 a month as a token if she has to. It will affect her credit history , but not much else.
Thank you, can you provide more in depth info, ie DRO meaning, where to find info etc ...Firstly, personal insolvency such as an IVA or bankruptcy will have no effect on her children and there is no risk of them being taken just because she is insolvent.
Secondly, if she is struggling to feed herself or family then she should consider a local food bank. Google Trussell Trust to locate nearest one.
Regarding her debts, is she concerned abound maintaining a good credit history? (based on what you've described, she shouldn't be). If she has little in the way of assets- you mentioned the house is rented, then a DRO will be a good option. It is a form of insolvency and will affect credit for 6 years, but will write off debts and the fee is £90 much less than bankruptcy. It last for 12 months
She has to prioritise who she pays, if she hasn't been buying food because the credit card bill is due, that's not right. Non secured credit cards and loans are non priority, can pay them a £1 a month as a token if she has to. It will affect her credit history , but not much else.
Thank you to whoever Mod cleaned that up, Im genuinely gratefull....
Donkeyapple...
We are pretty sure the debt has built over the time since dhead BF walked away (4 ish years now), and bearing in mind he is/was a despatch rider, is very likely lying about income due to cash earnings.......
I believe, following on advice from Mungosdad above, she is now investigating the DRO option...
Donkeyapple...
We are pretty sure the debt has built over the time since d
head BF walked away (4 ish years now), and bearing in mind he is/was a despatch rider, is very likely lying about income due to cash earnings.......I believe, following on advice from Mungosdad above, she is now investigating the DRO option...
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