Child maintenance advice

[BFG TERRANO]

Hello all!
Almost done with this, thankfully. My question is about “approved “ or “full time education “ really

I’ve a 17 year old with my ex. We’re not in contact sadly- not my choice. I have a direct pay set up organised by the CSA but I pay her directly.

To qualify for maintenance eligibility from absent parents between 16 and 20 years of age the child must be in full time approved education. Basically 12 hrs a week or more of supervised study, ie in class.

I’ve heard through a reliable contact my son has crashed out of 2 of 3 A levels. This means he’s now below the threshold to be considered in full time education.

As we’re not in contact do I just pull the plug on her money???

[BFG TERRANO]

Joey Deacon said:

I bet she will suddenly get back in contact very quickly if you do this!

Absolutely. Only if she can demonstrate he’s in full time education. I’ve no way of finding this out.. pulling the payments sure will I agree

[BFG TERRANO]

RobXjcoupe said:

I thought you had to pay regardless to age 18. Then it stops even if studying continues

16 is the earliest you can stop paying. 20 is the latest. It depends on what they do educationally. If it’s over 12 hours a week of supervised study you pay. There’s a list of “approved” education scenarios available that make it easier to work out if you pay or not. My issue is not being in touch with ex or son… and also if only doing 1 A level is classed as “full time” education

[BFG TERRANO]

onny said:

I used to work for CSA both in the UK and Australia. I see this a lot where the paying parent does not have contact with the receiving parent and/or child.

What is your goal? To have contact with your child again or not to pay support because your legal responsibilities are now over?

Legally, if you can proof that your son is no longer in full time education then you are allowed to stop payment. But if you want to have contact again at some point then i would just keep paying and have a word with your 'reliable source' hinting that you are now thinking about stopping payment. Hoping your reliable source will pass this back to your ex for her to get in contact with you and have a proper conversation with you about it. By suddenly ending payment will never end well for all parties involved from my experience.

Honestly my goal is to stop paying. It’s unlikely I’ll have contact with, or develop a relationship with my son. I tried hard up until he was about 2-3 years old but realised I was throwing money away so stopped and moved my life on. I’m now married with 2 great kids and wife and like us all feeling the pinch. I’ve paid around 70k so far to her..

[BFG TERRANO]

BFG TERRANO said:

Honestly my goal is to stop paying. It’s unlikely I’ll have contact with, or develop a relationship with my son. I tried hard up until he was about 2-3 years old but realised I was throwing money away so stopped and moved my life on. I’m now married with 2 great kids and wife and like us all feeling the pinch. I’ve paid around 70k so far to her..

How do I prove he’s not in full time education? Also would it not be up to her to prove he IS if she wants my cash?

[BFG TERRANO]

lrdisco said:

Resentment may be but at the end of the day he was 50% responsible for creating a human being.
Trying to wiggle out of responsibilities is not the moral thing to do.
Try MTFU op and pay your way.

Not trying to wiggle from anything. 14 years ago she involved the csa. No reason to as I’d been paying regular. She lied and said she’d got nothing. Lucky enough it was all cheques so all traced fine. This prompted a pay cut for her as I’d inadvertently overpaid for 4 years or so. This didn’t sit well with her. To avoid more false accusations I continued to pay via the csa. For years I tried various avenues for access all to no avail. Birthday and Christmas presents returned to my doorstep un-opened and clearly rejected. As she introduced the csa and their rules unnecessary im happy to continue to play by their rules. If they say no pay.. that’s just what I’m going to do

[BFG TERRANO]

lrdisco said:

What a man!
No word on your child’s needs or wellbeing.
Does your current partner know what kind of man you are?

I’ve made many enquiries over the years. Many £s spent chasing access. I’ve offered over and above financially on top of 17 years solid payments. Her life has bounced from one social disaster to another. Usually creating volatility within the home.

My wife is well aware of what I am. Great dad to our 3 kids and fully supportive to us all with a good family home 3/4 paid off.

[BFG TERRANO]

lrdisco said:

No not his ex partner but the child of a father who paid absolutely the minimum and stopped the minute he could legally.

I genuinely feel for you. I do. I appreciate you probably lost out not only financially but (maybe) a relationship with your father too?

Every situation is different but in every situation it’s never the child’s fault. I’ve been robbed of a relationship with my son, hit hard financially (having to rebuild everything) whilst adherent to csa figures at this time. None of which my fault or creating. When you know your ex is living mostly off benefits in free housing living it up it hurts. I’m not doing anything underhanded or illegal just looking to stop this extortion as soon as legally possible

[BFG TERRANO]

Sheets Tabuer said:

Back to the OP, you can phone the CSA or whatever they are called and get them to reassess the case.

Either that or grin and bear it, it's only 3 years after all.

Call made. After a 48 minute wait a human confirmed I’m in the clear. It’s also important to note she needs to tell the relevant bodies as his status no longer entitles her to family allowance. I’m staying out of that, not my issue.