Discussion
Tonight, after I arrived home from work and let my beautiful cats out to play (just after taking a shot of them both sitting in the window), Ronnie - seen on his own below - was hit and killed by a van just outside my house on a not especially busy road.I won't lie, I am in pieces.I went from the regular playtime we have on the bed, to our regular half hour cuddle and brush on my lap, to him being dead in a box all in the space of a few hours.
They were Brothers and were about 1.5 years old and as I type this, Reggie, the remaining cat, is hunting the house and looking constantly out of windows for his soulmate.Does it get better? Do cats cope or pine for years to come? Should we show him the body of his Brother? Should we adpot another cat quickly to fill the void?
Not ashamed to admit I have cried lots tonight and any experiences of such things would be much appreciated as he is being buried in the garden tomorrow.
RIP my beautiful big boy x
They were Brothers and were about 1.5 years old and as I type this, Reggie, the remaining cat, is hunting the house and looking constantly out of windows for his soulmate.Does it get better? Do cats cope or pine for years to come? Should we show him the body of his Brother? Should we adpot another cat quickly to fill the void?
Not ashamed to admit I have cried lots tonight and any experiences of such things would be much appreciated as he is being buried in the garden tomorrow.
RIP my beautiful big boy x
Thank you for the kind words and suggestions.I had to work today, but my parents and wife made him a lovely grave at the top of our garden and did let Reggie see his Brother for the last time.
I will update this in time to let you know what we decided to do and to let you know how Reggie is coping.He's certainly coping better than we are at the moment.Every toy I see, every tooth mark in a box he chewed and every sleeping spot I look at simply makes me cry.
I will update this in time to let you know what we decided to do and to let you know how Reggie is coping.He's certainly coping better than we are at the moment.Every toy I see, every tooth mark in a box he chewed and every sleeping spot I look at simply makes me cry.
Thanks again and I'm sorry to others who have been through the same.I never realised how tough this would be.I dealt with old age taking away my first cat rather admirably, was the same with our 80+ year old African Grey and will cope just as well when our 25 year old Chinchillas time comes.But this....
The most frustrating thing for us is that Ronnie was far less of an adventurer than Reggie.He would have the odd couple of hour stints of not coming home, but was almost always popping back in to see you and was so affectionate when he did.Sometimes he gave you a look which was almost human and would rub noses with you as if he was saying how much he loved you back.
It's also so frustrating that we have a wooded area directly behind our house which has a lovely large grass bank in front of it and if you ever called them, they would come bounding out of the coppiced area together.It was fantastic watching them play together on the bank last summer.I rarely ever saw them at the front of the house near the road and even when I did, never in a million years did I think that there would be a chance of a freak accident.I just can't get over the fact that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.Seconds wasted or gained during the entire course of that day by me, him, or the van driver could have meant another 15+ summers for him.I know you can say the same about many accident etc, but it's the first time in my life I have really tortured myself with those "if only.." thoughts.
Today we have been in contact with a local cat rescue centre and have had a chat with them about our situation.The lady on the phone was very kind and understanding (just as you have all been) and offered advice based on her experiences.They have several cats available for a small donation and have assured us that if we wished to try with another kitty and it didn't work out, they would be more than happy to take them back.You can tell she was a cat lover and has a particular female cat of around 18 months old who we think might be worth offering a home to.
We decided 100% to at least try and get Reggie another playmate.He was always quite good with other cats and the cat at the rescue centre sounds much the same.Of course, there is no guarantee that this will work out, but we are prepared to try.Reggie also seems to have settled down after we showed him the body of Ronnie, so I appreciate the advice on that front.I don't want to appear as though we are rushing in to this decision, but the house feels half empty, our hearts are broken and Reggie still spins his head round at the slightest noise and I know it's primarliy to see if his Brother is about to pull a sneaky Kato move on him.
It would be a week or so before we could collect the cat in question, so I will update again with what we decide.I have read people suggesting a kitten or younger cat is ideal to stop any alpha male type scenarios, but for every post I read suggesting this, there are other success stories of people mixing and matching all sorts of other age groups.It would appear that introducing a new female to another female is often doomed to fail, but boy + boy, or, boy + female can work so long as you tailor to their needs and follow some of the advice for these situations.
Thank you all again and sorry for the extended waffle.
The most frustrating thing for us is that Ronnie was far less of an adventurer than Reggie.He would have the odd couple of hour stints of not coming home, but was almost always popping back in to see you and was so affectionate when he did.Sometimes he gave you a look which was almost human and would rub noses with you as if he was saying how much he loved you back.
It's also so frustrating that we have a wooded area directly behind our house which has a lovely large grass bank in front of it and if you ever called them, they would come bounding out of the coppiced area together.It was fantastic watching them play together on the bank last summer.I rarely ever saw them at the front of the house near the road and even when I did, never in a million years did I think that there would be a chance of a freak accident.I just can't get over the fact that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.Seconds wasted or gained during the entire course of that day by me, him, or the van driver could have meant another 15+ summers for him.I know you can say the same about many accident etc, but it's the first time in my life I have really tortured myself with those "if only.." thoughts.
Today we have been in contact with a local cat rescue centre and have had a chat with them about our situation.The lady on the phone was very kind and understanding (just as you have all been) and offered advice based on her experiences.They have several cats available for a small donation and have assured us that if we wished to try with another kitty and it didn't work out, they would be more than happy to take them back.You can tell she was a cat lover and has a particular female cat of around 18 months old who we think might be worth offering a home to.
We decided 100% to at least try and get Reggie another playmate.He was always quite good with other cats and the cat at the rescue centre sounds much the same.Of course, there is no guarantee that this will work out, but we are prepared to try.Reggie also seems to have settled down after we showed him the body of Ronnie, so I appreciate the advice on that front.I don't want to appear as though we are rushing in to this decision, but the house feels half empty, our hearts are broken and Reggie still spins his head round at the slightest noise and I know it's primarliy to see if his Brother is about to pull a sneaky Kato move on him.
It would be a week or so before we could collect the cat in question, so I will update again with what we decide.I have read people suggesting a kitten or younger cat is ideal to stop any alpha male type scenarios, but for every post I read suggesting this, there are other success stories of people mixing and matching all sorts of other age groups.It would appear that introducing a new female to another female is often doomed to fail, but boy + boy, or, boy + female can work so long as you tailor to their needs and follow some of the advice for these situations.
Thank you all again and sorry for the extended waffle.
Thanks everyone.I think both of us are at least getting over the shock a little more.The loss, of course, still feels very raw.
We stood by our back fence talking to another neighbour yesterday about how his 15+ year old cat was run over and put down several years ago and as we stood there talking about this and poor Ronnie, we saw Reggie leap a 6 foot fence and run straight down in front of us and then straight across the road.I actually held my breath for a few moments and then spent the next ten minutes in a bit of a panic as I could see him hiding under a car opposite which meant the odd car that passed by was only inches from his face.If he had run out on a dark evening from that spot and a car was passing...
We have a sort of private drive which feeds the rear of a few houses here and if our cats leave our garden and turn left, they have the lovely grass bank and wooder area to play in, if they turn right, after 20 yards, it's a road.I love the idea of a sort of cat enclosure garden, but I don't think it would be possible here.Due to the hilly nature, split levels and layouts of the gardens of the detached houses, I don't think there is anything we could do to keep them in.Ronnie - who was much larger than Reggie and not as nimble - used to leap the 6 to 8 feet brick walls of houses further up the driveway with ease.I think we would have to surround ourselves on all sides with prison walls!
We stood by our back fence talking to another neighbour yesterday about how his 15+ year old cat was run over and put down several years ago and as we stood there talking about this and poor Ronnie, we saw Reggie leap a 6 foot fence and run straight down in front of us and then straight across the road.I actually held my breath for a few moments and then spent the next ten minutes in a bit of a panic as I could see him hiding under a car opposite which meant the odd car that passed by was only inches from his face.If he had run out on a dark evening from that spot and a car was passing...
We have a sort of private drive which feeds the rear of a few houses here and if our cats leave our garden and turn left, they have the lovely grass bank and wooder area to play in, if they turn right, after 20 yards, it's a road.I love the idea of a sort of cat enclosure garden, but I don't think it would be possible here.Due to the hilly nature, split levels and layouts of the gardens of the detached houses, I don't think there is anything we could do to keep them in.Ronnie - who was much larger than Reggie and not as nimble - used to leap the 6 to 8 feet brick walls of houses further up the driveway with ease.I think we would have to surround ourselves on all sides with prison walls!
Mr Pies said:
So sorry for your loss. What a truly beautiful looking boy. I take it they're bengals?
Nothing so grand I'm afraid! The Mother was a regular Tabby.We never actually knew who the Father was as my friends cat had a litter before she was spayed and we were offered two for free.We took her up on her offer and ended up with two beautiful boys.Ronnie was the more regular Tabby colour and Ronnie looks more like a Silver Tabby imho!It's amazing how they can reduce grown men to tears (I'm a stocky 42 year old HGV driver now for goodness sake!). I met up with a few car club members today and some of the guys there said they were exactly the same.I guess it just shows how much love we all had for our pets.Even cancelling the pet insurance set me and my little lady off again.We have also caught Reggie sat beside Ronnies grave a few times now.I know there is a chance he may just be inquisitive as to what it is, but he sat there watching as my Dad buried Ronnie and of course, in our minds, we think he is simply waiting for his Brother to appear.That will be another order of tears then..
We are trying to be brave for Reggie as they say they can pick up on your moods etc, but he lept on the bed this morning after my wife had been crying for a while and licked her tears.Again, we know to him it was undoubtedly nothing more than an "oh, what is this mysterious liquid?" moment, but your mind tells you he is trying to tell you not to be so sad...and the water works begin all over again.It also doesn't help that a cat we took in some time ago and reunited with his owner after several months of being missing, suffered the exact same fate as Ronnie a few days later.And Ronnie and Reggies other Brother from the litter died from antifreeze poisoning last year
I am currently torn between not letting Ronnie out on these dark winter evenings (they were almost always in before 8.00pm of their own accord anyway) or, just letting him do as he pleases from around 4.00pm when I get in from work.I would like to think that daylight would at least offer more of a chance for a driver to see a cat run across a road, but then I guess just as many are killed in those situations, so maybe it's unfair on him to change the routine now.I don't want to be overly protective, but at the moment, as you can imagine, I am quite terrified when I call him and he doesn't appear within a reasonable amount of time.Even seeing the security light kick in at the back of the house makes me feel quite elated at the moment as I know it's going to be him setting it off.
Anyway, if all goes to plan, we should be picking up a similar aged female cat called Ally next weekend.We will need to take our time to let her settle in etc and I hope they can become friends and keep each other company in the long run.We may have our work cut out, I appreciate that, but I feel it's worth the effort.I will let you know how things progress! Thanks yet again for the support and sorry once more for all those who know how these situations feel.
Edited by Digby on Sunday 6th January 23:36
Well, here's Ally (or Alley I guess seeing as that's where she was rescued from).Not sure of her age as it turns out, but it's under two years.
She's very nervous at the moment and has been hiding quite a lot, but after putting in four to five hours effort tonight, she was having a wander about and had a bit of a play with some toys.She loves a stroke and a tickle and happily rolls over and enjoys a belly rub.
She can also purr for England!
Reggie is still hissing now and then, but the more we get them in the same room, the less that seems to happen and Ally doesn't seem bothered about his protests at all.We are not rushing the situation and it can take as long as it takes for them to get along.I have even booked some time off work to keep them both company!
She's very nervous at the moment and has been hiding quite a lot, but after putting in four to five hours effort tonight, she was having a wander about and had a bit of a play with some toys.She loves a stroke and a tickle and happily rolls over and enjoys a belly rub.
She can also purr for England!
Reggie is still hissing now and then, but the more we get them in the same room, the less that seems to happen and Ally doesn't seem bothered about his protests at all.We are not rushing the situation and it can take as long as it takes for them to get along.I have even booked some time off work to keep them both company!
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