Tips for scaring away birds?

[Jonno02]

Hi guys,

Does anybody have any tips on scaring away birds; the usual blackbirds, gulls, finches etc. Just had the garden done and it's like somebody is feeding the birds laxatives around us! The decking/stones/patio are absolutely caked in bird st. Newly painted fences are more white than brown now and we had the windows washed on Thursday...and I had to wash them AGAIN today.

I'm looking at a few of the rotating head owl decoys, but there seems to be mixed reviews about them. Does anybody have any suggestions of what I could do? Short of breaking out the air rifle.

Thanks.

[Jonno02]

Gandahar said:

Oh no the decking. The decking, oooh.

I could understand if you had just bought the new Chiron or Mclaren 720S. I'd have got the blunderbuss out too.

Cleaning the decking might give your heart a work out and mean you live longer. So I would encourage the birds to shiit on it and then you can get some exercise. Also watching birds is very relaxing. They are one of our wild species you can watch close up easily. Very kind of them to put up with us and put on such a display.

Edited by Gandahar on Monday 1st May 16:31

It's a bit of a pain when the decking is dark brown and there's 15-20 new bird poo's PER DAY. Yes, per day. And it's all over the garden, tables, bbq, everywhere.

You'll probably be disappointed to know that a few hours with an air rifle and the garden has been bird poo free for nearly 2 weeks. Not everybody likes birds. I for one, hate them. The OH is terrified of them, which adds fuel to the fire. I don't mind birds around the garden, but when there's dozens and dozens of them, it's a bit much. The cull seems to have worked for now.

[Jonno02]

mike74 said:

Sad, pathetic tt.

As I said previously, problem Gulls or crows are one thing but to just have a mass cull of anything and everything that appears in your garden is moronic, not to mention illegal, there's no saying what rare/protected species you've possibly killed... but obviously you're too much of a thick piece of st to understand or care about that.

Oh bore off you tt. So you have a problem with gulls and crows? What if somebody else came on called you a sad pathetic tt because they like gulls and crows? Pot kettle black. I suppose you're too thick to realise that, as for most people, it might have clicked when typing it out. These birds, as you put it, are a problem. The whole neighbourhood are moaning about it.

Trivial little things like not being able to hang out a washing for months now are driving people up the wall. Or sit in your garden in the sun. I don't particularly care either way, there's about 30 acres of trees a few hundred metres down the road, so I'm sure there's plenty of little birdies left for you hippy-types. You really must have very little in your life to get this upset about a few birds being culled. Do you protest at your local train station/factories/warehouses/yards when they bring in the birds of prey to scare/kill any nesting birds in the roof? It's the exact same thing. Removing birds from an unwanted area.

Have you ever used bug spray? Ever killed a fly? I suppose one species is more entitled to exist because it's bigger or some equally bizarre reason? The birds were being a pest, and they have been dealt with. In the years I've lived in this house, I've never had a problem with birds in the garden, but when the cars, patio, washing, bbq, tables, summerhouse, windows etc are caked in poo a mere hours after being washed, it's a problem.

I await your reply about how X species has more right to live than Y (gulls and crows, apparently) species.

[Jonno02]

mike74 said:

Oh deary me john, where do I begin?

From this sentence alone, I can predict the uppity tone and better-than-you attitude you possess.

mike74 said:

worked on Grouse and Pheasant shoots and firmly believe there is a very real commercial and conservation argument in favour of game shooting.

Well, I think you're absolutely disgusting. You cannot seriously sit there and state that you have been out shooting species like Grouse and Pheasants and then fly into a holier-than-thou rage when a couple of birds that are causing a nuisance are culled.

mike74 said:

Gulls and Crows are regarded as pest species and can be legally controlled as it's well recognised the problems they cause and the damage they do, to other species of wildlife as much as anything else.

So are Grouse and Pheasants also regarded as pest species? You are so blind up there on your high horse, you make absolutely zero logical sense. If any species is causing a nuisance, in one way or another, it can be considered in some arbitrary sense that you seem to make up as you go along, as a pest.

mike74 said:

As for me having nothing better to do... you're the sad tt that counts the numbers of bird poos on your decking!.. Both you and your OH sound like you have mental health issues that need addressing, it's not normal to be ''terrified of birds'' and it's not normal behaviour to count the amount of bird st on your precious decking.

Did I ever state that I counted them? It's not difficult to quickly scan a piece of property and see that's it's utterly caked in bird poo, more so than a few hours ago. And terrified of birds, ever heard of a phobia? Some people it's spiders, some people it's heights, for her it's birds. You're really clutching at straws here Mike. And as for the mental health issues comment, I'll take it that your stepping over into more-than-usual insults into nasty spiteful comments is just proof that you know you're talking st, so you're trying to get inflammatory.

mike74 said:

The fact you've decided to go out and arbitrarily cull every bird you see in your garden regardless of species (because you're too ignorant and thick as pigst to know the difference), especially at this time of year when most will have chicks that will now starve, speaks volume about the kind of moron that you are.

Can you please point out where in my post I stated "Every single bird that landed was shot. There were no survivors, it was the D-Day of finches." Nowhere. Because you read what you wanted to. You wanted a reason to play the big man on the internet, which has resulted in you looking like a very odd individual. You have no idea what was shot and what was not. All I can say, that if you think I'm able to shoot a small, hopping around finch at a distance where they couldn't detect me, then perhaps I should be a special forces marksman.

mike74 said:

Even if you have managed to achieve your stated aim of wiping out all the birds that visit your garden I've got news for you... within weeks if not days more birds will move into the vacated territory because that what birds do, so unless your prepared to repeat your brave and fearless war on the birds on probably a weekly basis your efforts will have been almost entirely futile.

So if more birds will simply take their place, the ecosystem will continue as normal. Life will go on. So why are you flying into a rage about some birds? Take a good look at yourself.

mike74 said:

Still, I often find that Karma has a habit of being a bit of a bh and hopefully the consequences of your moronic behaviour will return to visit yourself, or preferably your loved ones, in the fullness of time.

Again, pot kettle black. It's fine to go out and massacre Grouse and Pheasants, but as soon as you shoot a finch, I hope you get what you deserve! Unbelievable, wishing harm on someone's loved ones because a few birds have been neutralised? You're an absolutely disgusting piece of scum. Now I know that you're a very sad individual, that most likely doesn't have many people in his life that he can truly call family or friends and is spiteful of others. You're an utter piece of trash Mike. Oh and I'd like to point out the contradiction again; you believe in karma and think it can be a bit of a bh? You might be getting a visit from it then soon, for wishing harm on innocent people due to my actions. You really are probably the thickest person I've ever come across on the internet. And that's some achievement.

Edited by Jonno02 on Wednesday 24th May 09:22

[Jonno02]

Gandahar said:

As a summary, on the All creatures great and small thread, which is a thread for celebrating animals etc, some stupid fecker asked about how to reduce cleaning effort.

Well done, my dog has more brains.

You've spent more time using your keyboard to explain why you are not dumb for posting this in the first place, and failed, than you would have done just cleaning up with a small cloth that uses water etc.

Edited by Gandahar on Wednesday 24th May 12:25

Thread was posted in General Gassing and was moved here by a mod; perhaps an iota of common sense on that one. Celebrating animals? Some other guy has posted that he enjoys going on bird hunts, yet that's ok? Do you hold candle lit vigils for road kill?

My garden is extremely large, not your average council house sized patch, so the cleaning effort is considerable. And constant. And I do have other things in my life rather than having to constantly tend to a fouled garden. I do take pride in my garden, but I haven't got the time nor patience to be out with a pressure washer for 60 minutes a day, cleaning the same things over and over.

The dogs aren't interested in birds, maybe I'll get a few cats. Or is that cruel too?

[Jonno02]

mike74 said:

-I said I've previously WORKED on commercial Grouse and Pheasant estates, I didn't say anything about shooting or killing birds myself, which is something I've never done and the work I've done in these areas isn't directly linked to the commercial shooting side of the business.

So as long as you're not actually pulling the trigger, that's fine.

mike74 said:

-Yes I have swatted flies, wasps etc, if you think there's no difference between swatting a fly and indiscriminately shooting wild, potentially rare birds at a time of year when they will have chicks on the nest, then you're even more thick than I give you credit for.

Again, please fill me in on why one life is more sacred than another? Is there some arbitrary scale for "if the subject is over 'this size' then it's wrong" or such?

mike74 said:

-Yes the numbers of birds will eventually be replaced, but there's no saying what rare, endangered and protected species you've killed that won't be replaced, or what suffering you've caused to chicks in the nest by killing their parents at this time of year.

Behave mate. It's a busy housing estate, it's not a wild game reserve in Africa. So if a seagull or pigeon is killed because they can be classed as vermin, it's alright that their chicks starve, purely because of their species?

mike74 said:

-You ask me to point out where you said you've counted the bird st on your decking? Well you said there are 15-20 new ones per day... is that a satisfactory answer for you?

Well done. You can now go back and properly read posts.

mike74 said:

-You claimed your garden was apparently ''caked in bird st'' because there were so many birds, you now claim you've solved the problem by culling only a ''couple'' of birds... so which is it? If your garden really was as bad as you claim then killing a ''couple'' of birds won't have made any difference so you must have indiscriminately culled anything and everything You stated you wanted to get rid of ''Gulls, Blackbirds, Finches etc'' so I can only assume you've succeeded in your aims as you're apparently satisfied with the results.. not that you even know the difference between what birds you've shot.

Yes, a few birds were shot. The neighbours have a berry tree right up at one of my fences, which is where the birds were landing, eating, then stting all everyone's property. That neighbour has now had tree surgeons around to completely cut down that tree because the birds were a nuisance to them too. Funny that. People in the actual neighbourhood are taking steps to eliminate the birds, yet of course, you would know more about it.

mike74 said:

-A phobia that leaves your OH irrationally terrified of something recognised as harmless is a mental health issue whether you like it or not, as for your own apparently many and varied psychiatric issues I wouldn't know where to begin.

Jesus bloody christ, you are insanely thick. So everybody in the world that's scared of dogs, spiders, heights etc has a mental illness? I don't even know where to begin with that. It's an evolutionary trait to be afraid of certain things. There's some brilliant published journals on the matter, you should check them out. A published journal is where people that are qualified in certain fields, such a genetics and evolution conduct studies and present their research findings in a peer-reviewed manner. But Mike74 on the internet knows more about things like that.

mike74 said:

-As for my comments about Karma which you seem to find so repulsive and offensive and makes me a ''sad, spiteful peace of scum''.... well you have commented elsewhere that someone will ''hopefully soon suffer a terminal illness'' (for nicking a set of car wheels that aren't even yours I believe)... so to use your frequently used phrase, pot-kettle-black?

So you don't think wishing karma visits somebody that hasn't done anything, because I shot a few birds isn't a vile comment? Yes, those two posts aren't relatable. Again, you're trying so very hard to come across as smart, but falling flat on your face each time. I wish the person that committed the crime be struck down. Not their mother, father, OH etc. That's what makes you a piece of scum. As much of a prick as you are, I wouldn't wish harm on your (probably very few) loved ones purely because you're a .

mike74 said:

I'm sure there are more points that I've missed but I've got better things to do for now.

Judging by the length of the post you just wrote Mike, I doubt you have more points. And you spent time looking through my post history, now I very much doubt you have better things to do. Quite creepy really.

I won't engage in a dialogue with you any further. Either you're a very good troll, or a very thick individual. If 74 in your name correlates to the year you were born, then a circa 43 year old man getting this upset over a few birds being culled is very, very sad. And you have the audacity to make derogatory comments about mental illness? It'd be funny if it wasn't so serious.

Edited by Jonno02 on Monday 29th May 09:29

[Jonno02]

Gandahar said:

60 minutes per day with a pressure washer to clean up bird poo? Is this your garden




Or are slightly exaggerating ?


Let's get back to reality, this is very funny -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCM2nEBE0RY

Unfortunately not. Mostly because a good part of the garden is a stupid shape and on several levels, so a lot of the time is spent re-arranging the hose and the power extension for the power washer, or moving everything over to another outside tap. Fortunately, still barely a poo in sight, so hopefully we're all good in that regard. Bonus points for the Monty Python sketch though.