Conspiracy Theories for Cynics

[THX]

So, clearly PH is populated by only razor sharp in-the-know finger-on-the-pulse no nonsense powerfully built company directors, operating at the sharp end of engineering and expertise. And we don't suffer fools.

And conspiracy theories are typically entertained by fools...

So I'm curious; who's heard a story that's made even the hardest, most logical, Spock like Company Director think... 'Holy st?!'

[THX]

Crush said:

Princess Diana didn't really die, she was struggling to maintain her human-form and simply took on the slightly melted Duchess of Cornwall look we see today.

You'll end up stuffed alive inside of a sports bag and dumped in a bath with talk like that.

[THX]

Must be more than this!

9/11. JFK... all well documented.

Where's the 'not as exciting but probably true' stuff?!

[THX]

Bradgate said:

Conspiracy theorists assume that the world is run by incredibly competent, capable, powerful, intelligent people who can construct the most fantastically elaborate and detailed plots on a vast scale.

In my experience, that simply isn’t the case. Government ministers, CEO’s, etc are not that different from the rest of us. They may be more driven and ambitious than most, but they are human, they make mistakes, they make poor decisions. Omnipotent evil geniuses they are not.

Conspiracy theorists, sitting in their bedrooms wearing their tin foil hats, have never actually met any senior decision makers in their lives, so it’s hardly surprising they don’t understand this.

I absolutely agree with all of this.

But I'm curious to hear of maybe the lesser exciting stuff that's made even the most level headed question the official details.

Not interested in the lizards that caused 9/11 nonsense.

Edited by THX on Wednesday 6th August 18:12

[THX]

Urban Sports said:

Shaolin said:

Nom de ploom said:

Urban Sports said:

Dyatlov pass

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2012/01/mountain-of-...

Fascinating stuff.

thanks for the link. is the article up to date for the present day?

i.e. any further updates in recent years?

That just sounds like an avalanche to me. They weren't found for weeks and then 4 were found buried 12 foot in the snow? It's not exactly rocket science, some odd details but nothing weirder needed.

The tongue being fully removed, some of them naked, trying to climb a tree leaving skin remains on it, high levels of radiation on the clothes, literally tearing out of the tent from the inside, cracked skulls from a blunt object, massive internal injuries etc etc

Hypothermia causes people to remove their clothes. When you're beyond the point of no return, the blood rushes back from your internal organs to your extremities - as a last ditch attempt to get you moving. Of course, this makes you feel oh so nice and toasty, and you're not thinking straight, so remove all your clothes. It's quite well documented. A lot of hypothermia victims are found naked.

Tongues... on discovering a freshly dead body, what's a hungry little mammal going to go for first? Get in there and get that nice, juicy tongue!

The rest, who knows. Perhaps they got hammered and, combined with exhaustion and the extreme cold, just went a little (!!!) crazy at each other.

Edit to say, zing!

http://www.cracked.com/article_16671_6-famous-unso...

[THX]

Some Gump said:

Snails said:

My girlfriend is convinced they never put any person on the surface of the moon.

They didn't. America fimed it - you can tell, the flags aren't moving and the shadows are wrong.
Last year, the Chinese only agreed to fake their footage of the objects left on the moon in return for George Bush buying a whole pallet of firecrackers for his new years eve party.

I laughed at this one (the moon) right up until I saw a picture of a dude on the Moon.

Being a bit of a amateur photoshop nerd (and a useless, part time one at that) I was convinced the lighting didn't make sense on one of the photos.

That alone doesn't make me think the whole thing fake, but that photo in particular wasn't original. I'll assume an Internet Person had doctored it (in an attempt to improve, not to fake) before sharing.

Besides....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wptn5RE2I-k

I'm siding with Buzz.

[THX]

Shaolin said:

THX said:

Urban Sports said:

Shaolin said:

Nom de ploom said:

Urban Sports said:

Dyatlov pass

http://mysteriousuniverse.org/2012/01/mountain-of-...

Fascinating stuff.

thanks for the link. is the article up to date for the present day?

i.e. any further updates in recent years?

That just sounds like an avalanche to me. They weren't found for weeks and then 4 were found buried 12 foot in the snow? It's not exactly rocket science, some odd details but nothing weirder needed.

The tongue being fully removed, some of them naked, trying to climb a tree leaving skin remains on it, high levels of radiation on the clothes, literally tearing out of the tent from the inside, cracked skulls from a blunt object, massive internal injuries etc etc

Hypothermia causes people to remove their clothes. When you're beyond the point of no return, the blood rushes back from your internal organs to your extremities - as a last ditch attempt to get you moving. Of course, this makes you feel oh so nice and toasty, and you're not thinking straight, so remove all your clothes. It's quite well documented. A lot of hypothermia victims are found naked.

Tongues... on discovering a freshly dead body, what's a hungry little mammal going to go for first? Get in there and get that nice, juicy tongue!

The rest, who knows. Perhaps they got hammered and, combined with exhaustion and the extreme cold, just went a little (!!!) crazy at each other.

Exactly. Massive injuries? rocks caught up in the avalanche. Traces of skin on tree? hit tree while carried along by avalanche. Snow largely melts and they are apparently there on the ground, they weren't found for weeks. Radiation? made up.

Still... more interesting than lizards causing 9/11 and Malaysian airlines swopping planes about.

By 'interesting' I meant 'valid'. Don't mean no disrespect to the dead. It's still a tragedy, obviously.

[THX]

Shaolin said:

King Herald said:

I just Googled it and it is called something like 'paradoxical undressing'. Next Sea Survival course I do I shall mention it to the instructors.

We are always taught that after the blood flow is cut off to the extremities, to keep the essential core and brain warm, the next stage is unconsciousness.

Sounds like your training has been about water immersion, the process is different on land and much slower, it doesn't always happen though.

Another (irrelevant but interesting) odd thing that can happen is that the now very hypothermic and near naked person can finally find a small hiding place to put themselves "burrowing behaviour" I think it's called. Some suspected odd "murders" where the naked victim has been found in a cupboard or under a bed etc. all tucked up in a foetal position are thought to be a result of this behaviour when hypothermic and not actually murders at all.

Woah there.

Let's not stand in this mans way of being condescending to someone on the internet; a God given right, don't forget.

20+ years experience. Knows the lot.

[THX]

Urban Sports said:

But there is much more to it than a ripped tent isn't there.

I think we covered the other stuff.

[THX]

Urban Sports said:

THX said:

I think we covered the other stuff.

Yes it can't be explained by just an avalanche!

Removal of clothes - extreme hypothermia.
Mutilation - hungry animals.
Blunt force trauma - debris in the avalanche.
Scattered corpse - avalanche, or general craziness brought on by hypothermia.
Yellow tinted skin - weeks of being left out in the sun, surrounded by sun-reflecting white snow.
Radiation - Godzilla caused the avalanche, obviously.

Lets wrap this one up with:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSdsjxopGVQ

[THX]

mickk said:

RDJ said:

Thank you Professor Science.

So basically all those researchers were just wasting time and money for sts and giggles.

I mean, what would they know about snow and avalanches? having witnessed many avalanches and lived in those conditiions their whole life

They'd learn so much more by studying these types of threads on Pistonheads.

Hang on.

Was there actually years of research?

Or an investigation, followed by a ton of Chinese whispers and bullst perpetuated by tale-telling locals and Internet People?

[THX]

See, this is why I asked.

The stealth stuff you mention is awesome. And PH is chock full of massively knowledgeable, technically minded, and grounded in logic folk - I'd love to hear what the real experts would say about the stealth tech, what could possibly be going on now (Bin Laden's stealth choppers!) and tales of airbase goings on.

Radioactive camp raiding snow-bogey men are fun for a while, but the real stuff is better.

[THX]

Some of the Dunblane 'theories' make for massively uncomfortable reading.

I mean, aside from the actual event itself. Which, of course, is about as bad as it gets.

[Boring_Chris]

Hainey said:

I've not read the link but this whole conspiracy about the death of Diana mystifies me. She got in a car with a hammered driver who hit three figures in an underpass known to be an accident blind spot. That's it. Nothing more.

Many years ago when the details of what the driver Henri Paul had drunk hit the news I was in France with a mate who was also in the RN, so fair to say he could manage his drink as could I back then. We decided to do the 'Henri Paul challenge' and drink what he had done that evening.

Drive a car? We could just about walk and scratch our arses at the same time and that was it. Doing a ton up on a narrow highway in a barge of a mercedes certainly wasn't on the cards.

Piss head driver, dark, damp slippy roads, bargetastic motor, hugely excessive speed and no seatbeat. What part of that sounds like it will end well?

Asking the important question; how much had he drank?

[Boring_Chris]

Jesus. I'd shy away from anything after absinthe, let alone driving a princess over a ton through a tunnel.