Do you let work take over family sometimes?

[beanbag]

I had an interesting disagreement with my girlfriend recently. I've been asked by my work to travel and in the current climate with a lot of job losses going on in my industry and the fortunate position I'm in by retaining my job and even improving it, I've agreed to go.

Unfortunately it messes up some family plans and my girlfriend got very upset by it all.

It's certainly not deliberate and if I could have chosen another date, I would.

Her choice was family should come over work and I should have said no to the travel, but should family really take precedence over work?

Sometimes there is no choice and resolutions have to be found. I'm not going to bang on about how much I earn, but I get good money for what I do and there are plenty of takers out there that would kill to have my package and job. So surely my job in this instance has to come first?

Currently very frustrated and I've lost all support from my girlfriend on this.

[beanbag]

el stovey said:

You should always put work and climbing the corporate ladder first. You want a better car and a bigger house right? You have to keep up with the neighbours.

You can easily get remarried and start another family later on. There's no way commuting everyday and spending all your time at work is a waste of your life.

Funnily enough I'm already divorced but for different reasons.

In my mind she is being very unreasonable. The family commitment is because she refuses to put our dogs in kennels so they need taking care of while she's away on a trip back home to England to see her friends and her father needs to be looked after as her mother is away visiting friends the day after she gets back and cannot be left on his own.

The last point is probably the more important one but her father is not an invalid but he just needs some care and wants me there for support which I'm always willing to give.

This particular trip would happen mostly while she's in the UK enjoying herself and I would have been back on Friday to help with her father. She would have been alone with him for about 12 hours.

The trip for me is also important as it's establishing a very important relationship with new colleagues and also about deciding on the direction of my current job and ownership of several products. That and it's in Manhattan and I've never been there before.

I also think another part of the problem is she's the only child, works for the family business so gets a lot of leeway in her work. Time off when she wants and also takes for granted a lot of the time the fact that she only has to work four days per week. Basically she has it on a plate and it's isn't a career, whereas for me I've earnt it and it is my career and I'm not going to give up almost eight years of hard work so I can sit and resent somebody for it.

[beanbag]

In an absolute stroke of luck, my meeting in the US has been changed and I won't be going until early January.

I'm feeling very bittersweet.

That and I just paid £65 (£35 for postage), for a bloody 90 day cat feeder. Going to see if I can cancel that now...