Dating an older woman

[Baz2000]

There is the start of some chemistry with a women at work who is 9 years my senior (27/36).

I've always told myself that age doesn't matter but I can't help but feel deep down that there is a small stigma attached, which I don't think would be there if it was the male being the older one.

I'm keen to hear experiences of relationships with a larger age difference and whether it caused any issues etc?

[Baz2000]

PurpleAki said:

Since when is 36 considered old?

I never said she was old, I was just commenting on the age difference.

[Baz2000]

stuartmmcfc said:

Here we go again
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Can't be arsed going through 50+ pages, what was the outcome out of interest?

[Baz2000]

S10GTA said:

Saw a lady for a while, 9 year gap. I was late 20s, she was late 30s. Utterly adored her and she was filthy. Got scared about the age gap, plus she had two teenage kids, I had none. Backed off. Regret losing her, but not the baggage.

Get stuck in, just don't get too attached.

No 'baggage' as such, she has no kids. She is recently divorced though.

[Baz2000]

Cold said:

Despite your respective ages, are you both at similar stages of your lives?

Kind of..

Maturity levels I would say we are pretty much the same. I've always been a bit of an 'old man' and she seems to still have the giddy youthful aspect about her.

Relationship wise she has recently been through a divorce, I obviously have never been married but have been in a fairly long term (5years) and serious relationship which ended over a year ago.

She is higher up the career path than I'am, which is where it gets a bit tricky. She is a manager in my company, not my direct line manager but she line manages certain aspects of me.

[Baz2000]

Veeayt said:

Is OP Emmanuel Macron?

Funny you should mention that, it was that which inspired me to make this thread.

Discussing my situation with a friend at the weekend he joked about Macron. I think I draw the line at 25 years older especially how they met, she was his teacher.

[Baz2000]

Glasgowrob said:

questions to ask yourself, do you enjoy her company, is she fun to be around? is she a dirty minx?

Enjoy her company = yes. Fun to be around? = yes. Is she a dirty minx? = unknown (she is a redhead though and I've heard things about those :P)

[Baz2000]

HTP99 said:

Baz2000 said:

Glasgowrob said:

questions to ask yourself, do you enjoy her company, is she fun to be around? is she a dirty minx?

Enjoy her company = yes. Fun to be around? = yes. Is she a dirty minx? = unknown (she is a redhead though and I've heard things about those :P)

Smelly errrr....!

Can't say I've heard that one myself.....

[Baz2000]

SteellFJ said:

It's Friday, have you MADE HER AIRTIGHT asked her out yet?

some great tales in here and for once people not moaning about their OH.

I'm afraid probably no updates until later next week as I'm on annual leave. Although we have been texting....

Just want to say thanks everyone for the replies they have made me reassured, laugh and disturbed all in equal measure

Keep them coming.

[Baz2000]

Likes Fast Cars said:

OP - any updates for us?

Or has she completely, air-tightly worn you out?

No updates yet, I'm back to work tomorrow.

I have a feeling this could be a bit of a slow burner.

[Baz2000]

A bit of an update. A lot of flirting etc has been going on between the two of us this week and she asked me to go for a drink with her this weekend.

[Baz2000]

Sorry I forgot to make an update.

We went out Saturday night and had a really good night, great conversation and we got on really really well, we have a lot in common. The night could have ended with much more but feel like I want to take this slower. Again all this week we have been getting on really well.

Sorry to disappoint everyone by not being able to provide any outrageous events, but I'm sure that will come....

[Baz2000]

So things have gone well....

[Baz2000]

Well this turned out to be a total cluster fk

[Baz2000]

Rewe said:

Baz2000 said:

Well this turned out to be a total cluster fk

What did?

I ended up dating the women mentioned in my original post and it’s turned out very messy indeed.

Does anyone actually want to know if I bother explaining it all?

[Baz2000]

Well....

We ended up being in a relationship until May last year, moved in together everything.

As many said on here ‘certain aspects’ of the relationship were unbelievable! It was this that probably blinded me of the red flags even early on. She admitted to struggling with issues and she has flitted from relationship to relationship throughout her life, she split up with her husband after just 8 months. To cut a long story short I found out she cheated on me, we split up, a few months go on she starts fking my/our boss (we work in the same company). My boss has made the last few months a living hell, they being in a relationship and living together after a matter of weeks (he’s recently divorced with kids). This is where I make a massive clanger and am embarrassed to admit that I ended up sleeping with her just before Christmas, which I guess is an affair (he still doesn’t know) It happened a few times and I hugely regret it. Anywayyy she has now left to a new job, I think there was pressure from the company that they couldn’t work together, even though somehow HR ok’d it!?!?

My boss is now really gunning for me, Our working relationship is obviously non existent considering he got into a relationship with my ex and god knows what she told him to make him like he is. What would the consequences legally work wise be if I told him of the affair between me and his now girlfriend?

Edited by Baz2000 on Monday 20th January 21:36

Edited by Baz2000 on Monday 20th January 21:37

[Baz2000]

Oldandslow said:

Just to be serious for a moment. You have an HR department. Talk to them. If your boss is treating you unfairly due to personal issues dating from humping your ex girlfriend then he's the one in trouble.

I have been to HR, they have taken his side. Everyone else in the company is dumbfounded that HR have been ok with the relationship and is effectively line managing his girlfriend. He is a very senior manager and very good at manipulating. He has played the I’m the bitter ex card with any concerns I have raised to HR.