Remember the 'escorts' thread? Confession time.
Discussion
I am not a regular poster on here and did not post on that thread at the time but now i can come clean about this albeit anonymously.I have been using escorts now for sometime now from a reputable agency(if such a thing exists)and over the course of time it has developed into a habit for me.Nobody in my life knows about this not even my closest friend of over thirty years.I am not a troll nor a fantasist just a forty two year old married man with nothing to prove.
I have been with five different escorts since this began,The first girl was 31 and very confident she was dipping in and out of agency work as she already had a wealthy client who would take her on trips abroad with him which she made thousands from,i didn't see her for long as she quit to start a business venture up.The next three girls were all nurses in their twenties,two nhs and the other in private nursing(doesn't say much for public sector wages does it)all polite and intelligent girls.One of them told me about a guy she was seeing who was over from Dubai who took her out almost every night over three weeks to bars and restaurants but never had any sexual contact with her at any time,which i found a little odd,but from memory she said she came out with around £5k from the chap.
The woman i'm seeing now is the best for me,great personality looks and body only been escorting for five months and is currently working through her accountancy exams,not young at 33 but is confident and very open minded which is obviously a big turn on.I see her once every three weeks for normally 3/4 hours a time.I will say that for me this is a purely physical thing and i have no intention of leaving my wife in the future.i have zero interest in relationships or god help me dating,in fact if we ever did split i would never entertain a relationship again as it is too much hassle for me.I appreciate this is not for many but i am just being honest here.
I have been with five different escorts since this began,The first girl was 31 and very confident she was dipping in and out of agency work as she already had a wealthy client who would take her on trips abroad with him which she made thousands from,i didn't see her for long as she quit to start a business venture up.The next three girls were all nurses in their twenties,two nhs and the other in private nursing(doesn't say much for public sector wages does it)all polite and intelligent girls.One of them told me about a guy she was seeing who was over from Dubai who took her out almost every night over three weeks to bars and restaurants but never had any sexual contact with her at any time,which i found a little odd,but from memory she said she came out with around £5k from the chap.
The woman i'm seeing now is the best for me,great personality looks and body only been escorting for five months and is currently working through her accountancy exams,not young at 33 but is confident and very open minded which is obviously a big turn on.I see her once every three weeks for normally 3/4 hours a time.I will say that for me this is a purely physical thing and i have no intention of leaving my wife in the future.i have zero interest in relationships or god help me dating,in fact if we ever did split i would never entertain a relationship again as it is too much hassle for me.I appreciate this is not for many but i am just being honest here.
I wasn't expecting such outrage on here compared to some threads i have read.To answer some of the points made,i am for real, i am not some kiddy mug playing games and it is my car,although i think i feel a change is coming, you know the mpg is becoming tiresome all of a sudden.I use escorts for the sex and if i'm honest a little bit of companionship also,it is like anything else you get to know someone and talk about things you have in common,the difference is you get to act your fantasies out with this individual.
My wife and children(older)have a very nice life and want for nothing,i spend a lot of time with them, rather than down the pub or gym and are generally a very good father i believe.We have grown a little distant over time but raising children can do that to a marriage,however we are still intimate although not like we used to be.I think i will come clean eventually and will except the outcome in due course.
My wife and children(older)have a very nice life and want for nothing,i spend a lot of time with them, rather than down the pub or gym and are generally a very good father i believe.We have grown a little distant over time but raising children can do that to a marriage,however we are still intimate although not like we used to be.I think i will come clean eventually and will except the outcome in due course.
LaurasOtherHalf said:
Well they're hardly going to tell you they're getting knocked in by a dozen creeps a day whilst feeding their drug habit are they?
Honestly,you couldn't be more wrong.It is not a brothel,some of them only have 1/2 outings per week,why? because if you spend 5/6 hours at the local coke heads mansion at £150 an hour you don't need to work every day- a lot don't have sex with them they just want to 'party' with them to quote.
Vaud said:
Did you try Relate or other marriage counselling first, or just jump straight to the hookers?
I didn't ,at the time my father had just died and i had to take over running a business, in truth with all the stress i went a little nuts but have never knocked it on the head as i should have.Vaud said:
So why not take a pause now from them now, try marriage counselling and maybe some personal counselling as well?
Then you can at least can be honest with yourself (and maybe eventually your wife)... and I don't mean that as a dig at you. Stress and grief can drive all sorts of behaviours.
I think there is some truth in what you say no doubt.I don't think i'm cut out for counselling though. Then you can at least can be honest with yourself (and maybe eventually your wife)... and I don't mean that as a dig at you. Stress and grief can drive all sorts of behaviours.
Mobile chicane - thanks for the link.
I think you miss the point,it's not because I struggle it's because they are quick ,easy and very convenient,as mentioned I have neither the time nor the inclination for a relationship.I think your idea of a hot women may differ from mine having seen the tinder et al brigade on a friends phone.
stuartmmcfc said:
Treating women and sex as a commodity doesn't sit easily with me tbh.
The girls I've been with are not forced into it,they enjoy it,it's a thrill they get good company in a nice safe environment,their drinks for free and hundreds of pounds at the end.You imagine knocking on that ladies door knowing in minutes you will be at it with a stranger,that's a rush for many.DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.
No I'm not boasting I was answering a post made by Stuart up the thread as to how the escorts view it.As stated none of my friends know, down the pub or otherwise so hardly boasting,I'm a quiet unassuming type who doesn't go near a gym or hair products,believe me it wasn't an easy thing to admit to.Hainey said:
Interesting that you believe that.
My wife is a trained councillor who started years ago with the Samaritans and has been involved in other organisations since, never once taking a penny for her time, not even fuel money.
You think the 'higher class' girls are there under any less nefarious circumstances than the 50 a day girls in a rented flat? You are kidding yourself to salve your conscience.
A higher grading of goods is all. Same horrific backstory.
Maybe one day fate will introduce you to the men you are actually funding. I hope so, because you would benefit from the reality.
Come off it,you can't honestly compare a British born nurse who escorts to fund her lifestyle choices against a trafficked European woman.That is just ridiculous.,My wife is a trained councillor who started years ago with the Samaritans and has been involved in other organisations since, never once taking a penny for her time, not even fuel money.
You think the 'higher class' girls are there under any less nefarious circumstances than the 50 a day girls in a rented flat? You are kidding yourself to salve your conscience.
A higher grading of goods is all. Same horrific backstory.
Maybe one day fate will introduce you to the men you are actually funding. I hope so, because you would benefit from the reality.
PurpleMoonlight said:
I think you realise that the escorts are a symptom of a stale marriage. They give you variety and an escape from the mundane daily life for a few hours.
I think I read a statistic that 90% of men that see escorts are married.
Your post also tells me that you want something to change, but that you don't have the strength to do anything about it. Fessing up and waiting to see what happens is transferring the responsibility to your wife.
I think you need to have a long hard look at yourself and your life, and see where you want to be in 5 years time. If that is still with your wife then that is what you need to work on and stop seeing the escorts. If it isn't, then the sooner you take steps to end the marriage the better for all.
Good post,in five years probably still married beyond that maybe not.I think I read a statistic that 90% of men that see escorts are married.
Your post also tells me that you want something to change, but that you don't have the strength to do anything about it. Fessing up and waiting to see what happens is transferring the responsibility to your wife.
I think you need to have a long hard look at yourself and your life, and see where you want to be in 5 years time. If that is still with your wife then that is what you need to work on and stop seeing the escorts. If it isn't, then the sooner you take steps to end the marriage the better for all.
md4776 said:
It could be that he's not looking for redemption or praise, but simply an outlet to spill the beans in some small way. He opened his original post saying he hadnt told anyone, including his friend on 30+ years. Posting might be the first step in admitting a bigger issue or he might do nothing about it afterwards and simply carry on. He didn't actually ask for vindication or advice, he just said "this is what I've been doing" 
This is it,just putting it out there as many do on here.Vaud said:
So? If you have already decided that it's over, is you choosing a time frame just selfish? Doesn't your wife deserve more - or at least - a choice and communication that it's effectively over?
It's an old adage, but if you love someone, then let them go?
This thread seems to be about just you and what you want. All a bit calculating and (a little bit) sociopathic/narcissistic.
I said maybe to be fair,things change over time.It's an old adage, but if you love someone, then let them go?
This thread seems to be about just you and what you want. All a bit calculating and (a little bit) sociopathic/narcissistic.
Hainey said:
It's been a while since she was with the Samaritans, she has been involved with other charities since then as a councillor.
He seems obsessed with his 'nurse' illusion and is too narcissistic to look at what he is doing and how its a construct of his own fantasy i.e. playing on the 'all nurses are sexual nymphs in a uniform, a few nods and a wink away from getting into bed.'
It's sad. I expect that from a 19yr old, not a 40 something supposedly intelligent businessman.
You have lost me here,there is no nurse fantasy, they didn't come straight from the hospital.I was just using their occupation to show they are not in poverty like the trafficked women.He seems obsessed with his 'nurse' illusion and is too narcissistic to look at what he is doing and how its a construct of his own fantasy i.e. playing on the 'all nurses are sexual nymphs in a uniform, a few nods and a wink away from getting into bed.'
It's sad. I expect that from a 19yr old, not a 40 something supposedly intelligent businessman.
Monkeylegend said:
What we don't know is maybe OP's wife knows what he is doing and is prepared to accept the situation as long as the family stays together. It's not quite the same as a full blown affair.
Probably saves her a job anyway.
Yes ML i think my wife knows more than she lets on,what with decline in our physical relations,i think there maybe a level of acceptance possibly.Probably saves her a job anyway.
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