Men, Public toilets & loosing all control

[Nickbrapp]

I have the misfortune of being a contractor on a large site, meaning I have to share a toilet block with other contractors.

Why is it, when men use one of these toilets they loose the ability to refrain from drawing on the walls, loose the ability to flush the chain, wipe the seat or not deposit used toilet paper on the floor.

Are these morons going home and taking a dump next to their toilets and writing " George is a cocksucking " on their wall? I doubt it.

Now these people are all white and British, I've been to cleaner holes in India. So what's the excuse?

It's the same in other public places, people not flushing, missing altogether. WHY? it's not pleasant for them and it's certainly not pleaasent for me.

Is it the council class? I visited Portsmouth dockyards on the weekend and those people could control their body properly, as can anyone in a nice hotel or restaurant.

Is it because they are working class? I think so.

Grim.

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anonymous said:

[redacted]

Lucky you, the place I'm at is a power station and these guys doing it are all contractors who weld and clean up coal all day so I doubt they are the sharpest tools but you would think if they have to use it they would leave it clean even for when they next use it.

I've worked on some horrific building sites too, luckly I was always commissioning so coming in where the mouth breathers had gone so never really came across too bad a bog, apart from when they where all blocked and started flooding out of the pans. That was grim.

Even Glastonbury was better than this. FML

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MX5_Nuts said:

Anyone else spot the fking weird sick bds who just stand at the urinal pretending to piss probably hoping someone comes along
and gets their todger out next to them?

You know somethings wrong when you go in for a st and he's still stood there 5mins later on my way out.

I happened to drive pass the same bogs a few weeks later n the same sick bd was sat just outside and he suddenly looked at his phone n got up with his arse hanging out heading inside the bogs. Can only think he had a mate in there who was "ready".

That's called cottaging, rife in the toilets on the road into Monmouth and the a48 in Carmarthen. Basically guys wking together or sucking each other off, the occasional fk, it's very common in London train stations too. Maybe he thinks you're cute

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What worries me is these people who are having the sts so bad that it comes out like a fan all over the place, what the fk are they eating?

Have some fibre Jesus

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^ throwing it out the window. I'm here laughing like mad

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Rawwr said:

The Tale of the New Year Kebab

It was new years eve. I wasn't going out as I'd been working and was really tired. I decided, that to celebrate the end of a good year, I'd order the biggest, filthiest, ugliest kebab I could from Just Eat. Around twenty minutes after placing the order, it arrived, delivered by a fat woman who looked a bit like John Virgo. It was pretty enormous; the girth of my upper arm and a good eighteen inches long, stuffed full of all kinds of unidentifiable meat.

I managed to eat a good three-quarters of it before I admitted defeat and chucked the sad, sweating remains of it into the outside bin. I then sat down to enjoy an evening of terrible television and Pepsi Max.

Now, I don't know if the Pepsi Max was the catalyst but after drinking a can, my stomach started making some really unsettling noises; like someone piloting a very small helicopter down a very deep well. Imagine that. Sure enough, after ten minutes of gurgling and squirting noises, I decided it would be a good time to make a deposit.

It literally, literally fell out of me. I don't know if it was the speed, the volume, the consistency or the amount that made it so horrifying but damn, it was unusual. It was like pooing out an entire wheelie bin full of golf balls and wallpaper paste. I must've used a good half toilet roll in furious wiping.

I thought that was the end of it.

It was not.

I was just finishing buttoning up my jeans when I felt a fart about to escape. WAIT A MINUTE; THAT'S NO FART! In one fluid movement I managed to pull down my jeans and pants whilst concordantly sitting down on the toilet. I'm not sure I'd fully sat down before the second outpouring of grief.

That happened two more times. The final time I continued to sit on the toilet for a good twenty minutes until I was positive there was nothing left inside me. I then had a shower because I felt unclean. It was quite a long time before I trusted farts again.

Think you deserved that one, I can't trust people who wear jeans around the house, WHERES THE COMFORT?!

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Rawwr said:

Jeans aren't comfy?

Not for wearing around the house they aren't, as soon as I get in, jeans off, tracksuit bottoms or shorts on.

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J4CKO said:

Saw a post in Viz about wiping,

"How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"

Good point I thought.

Because dogs lick their own ahole clean before they give you a good morning kiss