Life's Too Short......
Discussion
Having worked for many years for large companies ( the last one 14yrs) I've had a year out whilst sorting out some legal matters, all of which I won.
I'm going back to work for yet another large organisation and effectively signing my life away for another 4yrs if it works out.
Anyhow this last year or so has made me view things differently.
I now look at how I can simplify my life and spend more time ( even when I'm back at work) with my kids.
Can't see me getting so stressed anymore over work or taking the problems home with me, what will be will be.
I always looked at the bigger houses , the next place to holiday and of course more cars! Now I see it all differently so I'm hoping my return to work will be more enjoyable.
Anyone else been through similar experiences or emotions ?
I'm going back to work for yet another large organisation and effectively signing my life away for another 4yrs if it works out.
Anyhow this last year or so has made me view things differently.
I now look at how I can simplify my life and spend more time ( even when I'm back at work) with my kids.
Can't see me getting so stressed anymore over work or taking the problems home with me, what will be will be.
I always looked at the bigger houses , the next place to holiday and of course more cars! Now I see it all differently so I'm hoping my return to work will be more enjoyable.
Anyone else been through similar experiences or emotions ?
r11co said:
A cancer diagnosis for my OH made me realise that the people at work who think their mismanagement is my problem and that I should double my efforts to make up for them can go sing.
Too right . During my time out we've had a family passing and a friend I used to play footie with pass away in his sleep.
The only good that came of his passing is that the old team have reunited and we now meet for a fun 5 a side game and a bite to eat.
Prior to that we'd lost touch for 25yrs.
As a family we've never been flash or wasted money and have no interest in all the designer clobber which is a trait our kids have inherited which I'm pleased about . We do lots of simple family stuff now whereas previously it was the usual get home from work, have a brief conversation then bed and do the same routine the next day.
In a way good has come of what I've been through and not just financial I guess really is my point
ciege said:
My father died when he was 49 and I was 20.
The dude went out for a few beers on the Saturday night with my mum and 3pm the next day he died on the settee...heart attack.
Life goes away far more quickly than anything we worry about!
It's stories like this that make me post this thread . Sorry to hear.The dude went out for a few beers on the Saturday night with my mum and 3pm the next day he died on the settee...heart attack.
Life goes away far more quickly than anything we worry about!
I get that some love thier jobs, I never have, but unless they take a break they don't realise what else there is to life,
End I the day we all have to make a living and support kids ( assuming we have them) but really my point was that nothing is worth the stress.
I'll get back into the swing of work again, I always do, however this time it's with one eye on a certain timeframe and knowing I've learnt lots in this time out.
All work and no play is no fun
RC1807 said:
Are you *sure* we're not colleagues?! Sounds EXACTLY like my place. 
........typed a long post, decided not to bore everyone with the details, and deleted it!....
This is so true .........typed a long post, decided not to bore everyone with the details, and deleted it!....
Have worked with all these types of saddos myself who are the most insecure people you'll ever meet .
Funny part is they think by overacting it hides their insecurity and it plainly doesn't .
One Belend I worked with came to work with painted teeth, Cuban heels, dyed hair and wearing shirts "By Billionaire" that had a cut out in the left cuff to display his big watch
JPJPJP said:
I heard a version where the fisherman was Bajan, but this is the first one google came up with
https://bemorewithless.com/the-story-of-the-mexica...
That link doesn't work for me seemingly . https://bemorewithless.com/the-story-of-the-mexica...
I totally understand the people that come home from work and one day say "enough ", sell all they have a move to some remote island .
There is a current Robson Green series on exactly this.
My own dad worked his socks off untill he was 65 then died 3yrs later of a big heart attack .
To my mind just 3yrs retired is pointless.
TBF he worked to solely support us kids as did my mother and never really had much for himself although to him family was everything anyway.
One day I'll live by the sea taking it easy.....hopefully !
davek_964 said:
Both of my parents died pretty young - dad was 18 (or maybe 19), and my mum was 62. My mums death made me realise life is too short, and I do tend to think more about what I want in the present than what I might need in the future (although I do still need some rainy day money).
From a work perspective, years ago I did work whatever hours it took. These days, I couldn't care less - I do what I'm paid for, but not more. Which is tricky when it's really busy and everybody else is doing twice as many hours!
Your dad passed at 18/19? That's tragic From a work perspective, years ago I did work whatever hours it took. These days, I couldn't care less - I do what I'm paid for, but not more. Which is tricky when it's really busy and everybody else is doing twice as many hours!
davek_964 said:
More so for my mum. They were planning a big family - she was widowed at 19 a week before Christmas, with a 6 month old baby and pregnant with twins.
I have massive respect for her - I would have simply crumbled in those kind of circumstances.
As would I have in the same situation no question . Huge respect also.I have massive respect for her - I would have simply crumbled in those kind of circumstances.
No doubt it made you incredibly close to your mum growing up.
I had hoped to spend more time with my dad before his passing, he was a great dad and I try to emulate him with my children.
My mother is as fit as a fiddle at 79 still fortunately but I'm mindful going back to work will mean I see less of her again.
We'll always be our mothers "little boy" eh
DWS said:
It is too short.
My wife had a colostomy + reversal 10 gears ago. Nearly died. If they hadn't operated on her within 4 hours of being admitted she would have. Her dad died the same day. She retired at 54 and gets a reduced pension (teacher). We decided that enough was enough. We had saved all my pay rises over the years.
Last year I was made redundant. Best thing that ever happened to me. I then had an opportunity to invest in a company that "Potentially" could be worth Millions in the next 3-5 years. Pulled out after nearly 12 months. Not worth the risk. Mrs DWS and I are happy with what we have. I will still need to work but am looking at less stressful, lower paid jobs. So long as we can afford to buy food, have the occasional holiday and feed the dog, that's good enough for us.
They are hackneyed sayings and used all too frequently, and glibly!, but "you don't get a second chance!" and "You only live once" are very true.
Another one is "There are no pockets in a shroud". There will be nothing left of our estate by the time we shuffle off. We don't have kids. Enjoy what you can NOW!
I think I mentioned in my first post we have never been silly with money and my career has always been a roller coaster as I'm sure it is for many so we've made the best of what we could. My wife had a colostomy + reversal 10 gears ago. Nearly died. If they hadn't operated on her within 4 hours of being admitted she would have. Her dad died the same day. She retired at 54 and gets a reduced pension (teacher). We decided that enough was enough. We had saved all my pay rises over the years.
Last year I was made redundant. Best thing that ever happened to me. I then had an opportunity to invest in a company that "Potentially" could be worth Millions in the next 3-5 years. Pulled out after nearly 12 months. Not worth the risk. Mrs DWS and I are happy with what we have. I will still need to work but am looking at less stressful, lower paid jobs. So long as we can afford to buy food, have the occasional holiday and feed the dog, that's good enough for us.
They are hackneyed sayings and used all too frequently, and glibly!, but "you don't get a second chance!" and "You only live once" are very true.
Another one is "There are no pockets in a shroud". There will be nothing left of our estate by the time we shuffle off. We don't have kids. Enjoy what you can NOW!
Yes we've had the occasional big holiday but with the kids so that's all part of life's memories afaic.
We still have a way to go with the kids education and wellbeing so totally quitting work isn't an option but this last year means I look at it differently now.
You are right that providing you have the basics it's all good although when you're on a roll at times that's easy to forget.
Not me though I know what's important now
Mark Benson said:
My daughter has Cystic Fibrosis, her life expectancy is mid-late 20s.
We decided early on to make memories, not money and for the last 6 years we've been doing just that. Make the most of what you have, you can never be sure how long you'll have it for.
Wise words and good luck with everything MarkWe decided early on to make memories, not money and for the last 6 years we've been doing just that. Make the most of what you have, you can never be sure how long you'll have it for.
It's easy to keep adding to the list of direct debits and standing orders plus going out for meals and buying stuff to make yourself feel better about the amount of hours you do work wise add up .
I called my bank when I walked out of work and asked for my list of direct debits and without realising it I was spending £200 a month of the national lottery !
You get so wrapped up in work work work you don't stop and realise what's really going on and what life's about .
I'm small disgusted with myself over the NL thing but the wife was trying to dig me out of the work mess by hoping we'd win big !
Bless her
I called my bank when I walked out of work and asked for my list of direct debits and without realising it I was spending £200 a month of the national lottery !
You get so wrapped up in work work work you don't stop and realise what's really going on and what life's about .
I'm small disgusted with myself over the NL thing but the wife was trying to dig me out of the work mess by hoping we'd win big !
Bless her
Edited by FocusRS3 on Thursday 21st September 21:43
wisbech said:
My main goal at the moment is to 'beat' my dad, who retired at 52 and then had 25 great years with my mother- looks like I will make it. My wife stopped work over ten years ago, no kids, but there were things that she just would rather do
Having income > wants helps, and understand hedonic adaption
The key here in lots of cases is not having kids. Having income > wants helps, and understand hedonic adaption
I'm certain that if it wasn't for me having teenagers I'd never be returning to London but instead full time on the coast.
Don't get me wrong I'm pleased with my lot and wouldn't change having the children but I have to think about education ( which I signed up for a few years ago) uni , getting them on the housing ladder at some stage, if possible .
Funny I spotted on another thread a website about finding employment away from the city .
Bad timing on my part !
helmutlaang said:
Just seen this topic and thought I'd chip in.
It's strange what happens in life to make you re-evaluate things.
When I was with my ex,money was no real barrier. We both had good jobs and didn't have to budget too hard. But did it buy us happiness? Ultimately no-we split a few years ago and my current partner is the polar opposite,part time job etc. I kept the house,doubled the mortgage and halfed the income and I've survived fine.
A very good friend of mine has just lost his mum to cancer. She was 57. This has prompted us to say life is too short and we have formed a motorbike race team so we can do what we love again. It's cost a fortune but life's too short.
My step brother had a brain aneurysm last Sunday while driving his 2yr old son. Luckily they were slowing for a roundabout at the time so just hit a road sign. The kid was unhurt and the step bro looks like he will make a full recovery but a long road ahead. He's 37,9 years younger than me.
Another life's to short moment.
Wow there we go . Life is indeed too short. Obviously glad Bro looking like he's on the road to recovery.It's strange what happens in life to make you re-evaluate things.
When I was with my ex,money was no real barrier. We both had good jobs and didn't have to budget too hard. But did it buy us happiness? Ultimately no-we split a few years ago and my current partner is the polar opposite,part time job etc. I kept the house,doubled the mortgage and halfed the income and I've survived fine.
A very good friend of mine has just lost his mum to cancer. She was 57. This has prompted us to say life is too short and we have formed a motorbike race team so we can do what we love again. It's cost a fortune but life's too short.
My step brother had a brain aneurysm last Sunday while driving his 2yr old son. Luckily they were slowing for a roundabout at the time so just hit a road sign. The kid was unhurt and the step bro looks like he will make a full recovery but a long road ahead. He's 37,9 years younger than me.
Another life's to short moment.
Few years back a work colleague of mine had his wife die during the night of an aneurysm, she was 40.
Obviously his world changed and he had the job of bringing up two daughters solo.
He went onto meet someone else (something personally i could never imagine myself doing) and he quit the city.
Cant imagine how horrid that must be not being able to wake your wife in the morning
.
I'd planned to retire and downsize at 55, but think that will be as early as I can as you simply don't know what's around the corner....
[/quote]
No harm in downsizing its our current plan too.
Bunging a big wad of cash in the bank also means you stress less and ultimately a family of 4 doesn't need to live in a huge house.
Had a cracking weekend away with my lad so am now planning the next trip. Thinking somewhere in Wales maybe.
Have been to Zipworld previously and think we need to go again!
Nothing like a father and son bonding weekend!
At some stage I'm buying a mk3 Focus RS and doing my own little rally with my lad around Scotland and Wales. Definitely on my "to do list"
I'd planned to retire and downsize at 55, but think that will be as early as I can as you simply don't know what's around the corner....
[/quote]
No harm in downsizing its our current plan too.
Bunging a big wad of cash in the bank also means you stress less and ultimately a family of 4 doesn't need to live in a huge house.
Had a cracking weekend away with my lad so am now planning the next trip. Thinking somewhere in Wales maybe.
Have been to Zipworld previously and think we need to go again!
Nothing like a father and son bonding weekend!
At some stage I'm buying a mk3 Focus RS and doing my own little rally with my lad around Scotland and Wales. Definitely on my "to do list"
Edited by FocusRS3 on Tuesday 26th September 11:27
XCP said:
I was lucky I was able to retire at 48. Went to college for 3 years to do what I wanted to do, rather than what other people thought I should be doing. Now I just work if and when I feel like it. I'll never be rich but the house is paid for and I have cash in the bank.
Life is indeed too short....
May I ask what you studied and what it is you do now ?Life is indeed too short....
swerni said:
Sound like a bit of an under achiever.
Where's the harm is wanting more for you and your family and working for it?
Why do people see working hard and living a life as mutually exclusive?
Life is a balance.
I think you may have taken the last post out of context . Where's the harm is wanting more for you and your family and working for it?
Why do people see working hard and living a life as mutually exclusive?
Life is a balance.
The thread isn't about not making money it's about doing what you want to do and what makes you happy .
If working hard and making money makes you happy then great but if it doesn't the point is changing things and looking at life a little differently.
swerni said:
It says that if you feel you want more you should accept what you have and then somehow that will bring enlightenment and you can live a little .
I don't see my comments out of context.
Personally I'd rather work hard and live a lot.
Well maybe some feel enlightened in different ways. If you'd rather work hard good for you its about doing what makes you happy.I don't see my comments out of context.
Personally I'd rather work hard and live a lot.
Also some find their jobs mundane so therefore even retiring early and living the easy life is as you say "living a lot"
swerni said:
What does that even mean?
Are you suggesting it's better just to rock up at work, count the hours till home time then leave on the dot?
As an ex cancer patient i can't think of anything worse.
Hey Buddy chill! Are you suggesting it's better just to rock up at work, count the hours till home time then leave on the dot?
As an ex cancer patient i can't think of anything worse.
Some do a job as a means to an end, no ones saying its better doing that but for some its just how it is.
I have always worked hard when at work and will continue to try hard, its what i do as i work on the basis that I'm there for a likely 9hrs a day so give it a good shot.
I'm glad you overcame your cancer
D-day is nearly upon us and I start back to work in the morning.....Yikes !
I've learnt so much over this last 14months and not only about how to deal with some legal aspects of employment .
Thr bond with my son is now strong and unbreakable . I used to get home every night empty dishwasher and bins , tell the wife ( kids could also hear me ) how much I hated working with insecure Kocks then then have a vague conversation with the kids before putting them off to bed. I've always been a hands on dad and lucky in that my wife and I are a team and inseparable but there was definitely an 18 month period where i was in my own world so wrapped up in detesting my daily Monday-Friday routine .
So I'm hoping, and praying, that the new job, although not too dissimilar will at least be working with good guys . They certainly seem a good bunch from what I've met so far and providing along the way we are having some fun then I'm all good again . Money is far from what it used to be so taking it personally anymore just ain't worth it .
My family have been my Rock over these last few months and I'd never have done it and won without their backing and constant support . I truly have them to thank .
The good that came of it was reuniting the bond within the family again although I shouldn't have been in such a s
te working environment in the first place.
So "life IS too short" and I'm going to carry this thread with me tomorrow when I turn up in my new swanky suit ( it was actually very cheap and will likely fall apart after a month) and see how it goes but this time with a very 'what will be' attitude.
I will report back at the end of the first week with hopefully a positive update !
PS- it's just dawned on me , tonight's a school night !
I've learnt so much over this last 14months and not only about how to deal with some legal aspects of employment .
Thr bond with my son is now strong and unbreakable . I used to get home every night empty dishwasher and bins , tell the wife ( kids could also hear me ) how much I hated working with insecure Kocks then then have a vague conversation with the kids before putting them off to bed. I've always been a hands on dad and lucky in that my wife and I are a team and inseparable but there was definitely an 18 month period where i was in my own world so wrapped up in detesting my daily Monday-Friday routine .
So I'm hoping, and praying, that the new job, although not too dissimilar will at least be working with good guys . They certainly seem a good bunch from what I've met so far and providing along the way we are having some fun then I'm all good again . Money is far from what it used to be so taking it personally anymore just ain't worth it .
My family have been my Rock over these last few months and I'd never have done it and won without their backing and constant support . I truly have them to thank .
The good that came of it was reuniting the bond within the family again although I shouldn't have been in such a s
te working environment in the first place. So "life IS too short" and I'm going to carry this thread with me tomorrow when I turn up in my new swanky suit ( it was actually very cheap and will likely fall apart after a month) and see how it goes but this time with a very 'what will be' attitude.
I will report back at the end of the first week with hopefully a positive update !
PS- it's just dawned on me , tonight's a school night !
Edited by FocusRS3 on Sunday 1st October 08:55
ruggedscotty said:
i wrote this a while back and thought id re post it...
There peeps on here that covet money.. its not the be all or end all. Still makes me smile a bit at some of the
comments that such a quote raises. It dont bother me but I jump on and make a comment. the very fact you have hit a few keys and hit return means that its bothered you enough to reply when you state money doesnt bother you.
Its like the peeps that die in what would be classed poverty - one bed studio and they leave £1 billion to the dog and cat home... Like Gawd... Did you not spend a bit and enjoy your life or did you get off on purgatory ?
so back to the original post about a £ 70k pay cut... now as you and I know £70k isnt £70k once you take those deductions off it ends up about £48k
Break that down further and its a grand a week or 184 quid a day drop...
Is it mad ? or is it not.... How do you value that 184 quid a day... or 7 quid an hour. thats less than minimum wage.
seeing kids grow up spending time with your partner enjoying your hobbies and past times etc... working shifts long commutes 4 holidays a year ?
Stuck on the M1 grind ? Waiting in an airport to see if the delay wont be as log as last time you ended up overnight in an empty airport, or sat next to that obnoxious arse salesman in seat G5 as they squeezed you in the last flight as you listen to his life as he tries to sell you a group telecoms package like his life relies on it, poor sap it probably does as hes out if he doesnt meet sales target this month as they are realigning the sales division and relocating to Milton Keynes.
Oh the desperation of those high flyers we dont know the struggles they face do we. 1st world problems were discussing apple or samsung and others are wondering if they can eat this week or have the heating on.
A 70k pay cut ? The mrs wont get her new leased TT with the ivory leather and kiddies Jimmy and Jenna wont be going sking to the alps this autumn.....
Yes drastic ;-)
you cut your cloth accordingly. Life is about life outside of work. Its not the corporate ladder. No matter how you get brainwashed into annual appraisals objectives and targets, thats the way of the corporate machine and it spits you out. old and withered retired with nothing to show for it. Yes your boss has his yaught moored at St Tropez and hes enjoying a champers brunch with the toffs off the back of your endeavours. You have missed the best years of your life missed the kids growing up missed life and for what ?
So a 70k paycut pish. Thats nothing mate. look out at the bigger picture, look out for your nearest and dearest. this is it there are no reruns, no repeats.... life is to live an to enjoy, and you want to enjoy it with your family. Not the office mafias and climbing the ladder of success as who's success is it really ? Its definitely not your success.
Your success is a happy life with your family and children, with enough food on the table and a weather tight place to rest your head each night. Dont believe the hype generated by the advertising brigade, dont get sucked into the machine. Life is way too short to get hung up on generating other peoples happiness when you should be working on getting your own happiness sorted.
Nice post, you definitely nailed it there . There peeps on here that covet money.. its not the be all or end all. Still makes me smile a bit at some of the
comments that such a quote raises. It dont bother me but I jump on and make a comment. the very fact you have hit a few keys and hit return means that its bothered you enough to reply when you state money doesnt bother you.
Its like the peeps that die in what would be classed poverty - one bed studio and they leave £1 billion to the dog and cat home... Like Gawd... Did you not spend a bit and enjoy your life or did you get off on purgatory ?
so back to the original post about a £ 70k pay cut... now as you and I know £70k isnt £70k once you take those deductions off it ends up about £48k
Break that down further and its a grand a week or 184 quid a day drop...
Is it mad ? or is it not.... How do you value that 184 quid a day... or 7 quid an hour. thats less than minimum wage.
seeing kids grow up spending time with your partner enjoying your hobbies and past times etc... working shifts long commutes 4 holidays a year ?
Stuck on the M1 grind ? Waiting in an airport to see if the delay wont be as log as last time you ended up overnight in an empty airport, or sat next to that obnoxious arse salesman in seat G5 as they squeezed you in the last flight as you listen to his life as he tries to sell you a group telecoms package like his life relies on it, poor sap it probably does as hes out if he doesnt meet sales target this month as they are realigning the sales division and relocating to Milton Keynes.
Oh the desperation of those high flyers we dont know the struggles they face do we. 1st world problems were discussing apple or samsung and others are wondering if they can eat this week or have the heating on.
A 70k pay cut ? The mrs wont get her new leased TT with the ivory leather and kiddies Jimmy and Jenna wont be going sking to the alps this autumn.....
Yes drastic ;-)
you cut your cloth accordingly. Life is about life outside of work. Its not the corporate ladder. No matter how you get brainwashed into annual appraisals objectives and targets, thats the way of the corporate machine and it spits you out. old and withered retired with nothing to show for it. Yes your boss has his yaught moored at St Tropez and hes enjoying a champers brunch with the toffs off the back of your endeavours. You have missed the best years of your life missed the kids growing up missed life and for what ?
So a 70k paycut pish. Thats nothing mate. look out at the bigger picture, look out for your nearest and dearest. this is it there are no reruns, no repeats.... life is to live an to enjoy, and you want to enjoy it with your family. Not the office mafias and climbing the ladder of success as who's success is it really ? Its definitely not your success.
Your success is a happy life with your family and children, with enough food on the table and a weather tight place to rest your head each night. Dont believe the hype generated by the advertising brigade, dont get sucked into the machine. Life is way too short to get hung up on generating other peoples happiness when you should be working on getting your own happiness sorted.
The corporate machine is cutting costs constantly , pay cuts are across the board in my industry together with people getting spat out.
As I said earlier , this time it's gotta be fun and I'm definitely not taking it home with me as the rewards aren't there anymore.
Doesn't stop me worrying how the kids will cope finding jobs and getting thier own place some day.
That said I'll be more than happy for them to live with us for many years to come.
I remember leaving home at 18 only to come back after a year then gone again by 22.
All seems very young now but then getting on the housing ladder wasn't hard.
We have definitely addressed our lifestyles and we are richer in some ways for it.
We tend to do more simple things which actually means we spend more time together.
It's the little things that count
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