Seeking perspective from older heads

[montecristo]

My friends and I are in our early/mid forties. Some of us have gone from having a balanced life in our 30s and plenty of free time, to work addiction, complex lives (e.g. moving country, refurbishing the house, children's social calendars, other such things) and intense stress in our 40s. It's a choice, I suppose, but not an easy pattern to break.

I am assuming it's part of the rhythm of life, like our 20s were relatively carefree and our 30s were about, I don't know, maybe creating financial stability.

Does life calm down in your 50s?

[montecristo]

One factor is that in my 20s/30s, time was infinite and I was never going to die. As I get older, I am more aware of the time vs. money tradeoff and whether I want to work so much, for debatable benefits.

[montecristo]

227bhp, I take your point but there are similarities across our lives as a group. Like that u-curve that shows happiness vs. age or vs. having children, for example. Or the data that shows that people spend a lot less in retirement than in their pre-retirement life.

So I am interested in whether a stressful 40s is part of the general pattern.

[montecristo]

Whoozit said:

While I'm nowhere near earning the same as I used to

Antony Moxey said:

... now have a job earning half what I was ...

Somewhat irrationally, I struggle with doing that - objectively, I could earn less and still live a fine life, but the doubt creeps in - what if it isn't enough. And part of me subscribes to the idea that I would be 'ckickening out' of the hard work, even though I don't ascribe any value to the work itself, it's just random office work.