Messing yourself....
Discussion
Not quite how it sounds, but whatever goes...
Just sat eating my lunch at work and managed to empty almost a whole portion of Sweetcorn Chowder in my lap, so now sat here having slopped it all up in a pair of chinos with slowly drying soup on them, its not particularly pleasant.
What have you done dropped on yourself ?
Two of my others,
Full glass of red wine to the crotch, on an Air Transat flight to Canada for work, got my glass of wine and was having a read, fat/tall/ generally massive American bloke next to me gets up and manages to knock my tray table, I try to save the wine, but too late, it lands right in my crotch, didnt even notice the ignorant lump.
At work, went for a brew for me any my colleague as was my turn, normal procedure was to carry one brew in each hand, and flick the door with your foot, which is all well and good during the day as its open, but on a timed basis, at 5.30 it decides to up the security and you have to swipe, as an early starter I was long gone by then most days, but not today as we had a problem.
I walk up to the door and give it an insouciant flick but it remains steadfastly shut, I had quite a bit of momentum and was committed to entry as much as the door was committed to not letting me pass, it won and I ended up with most of two cups of Coffee, very hot Coffee down me which made me yelp, my remaining colleagues found this hilarious but, at the time I was less than amused, it hurt so I just decided the only decent thing to do was to flounce and go home
Just sat eating my lunch at work and managed to empty almost a whole portion of Sweetcorn Chowder in my lap, so now sat here having slopped it all up in a pair of chinos with slowly drying soup on them, its not particularly pleasant.
What have you done dropped on yourself ?
Two of my others,
Full glass of red wine to the crotch, on an Air Transat flight to Canada for work, got my glass of wine and was having a read, fat/tall/ generally massive American bloke next to me gets up and manages to knock my tray table, I try to save the wine, but too late, it lands right in my crotch, didnt even notice the ignorant lump.
At work, went for a brew for me any my colleague as was my turn, normal procedure was to carry one brew in each hand, and flick the door with your foot, which is all well and good during the day as its open, but on a timed basis, at 5.30 it decides to up the security and you have to swipe, as an early starter I was long gone by then most days, but not today as we had a problem.
I walk up to the door and give it an insouciant flick but it remains steadfastly shut, I had quite a bit of momentum and was committed to entry as much as the door was committed to not letting me pass, it won and I ended up with most of two cups of Coffee, very hot Coffee down me which made me yelp, my remaining colleagues found this hilarious but, at the time I was less than amused, it hurt so I just decided the only decent thing to do was to flounce and go home
RedWhiteMonkey said:
My wife is a teacher and a colleague of hers had a kid s
t himself in class yesterday. Poor kid ain’t going to live that one down any time soon.
39 years and counting for one kid at school, A lad called Whittaker shat himself (admittedly not the first time) so instant nick name coined of "st himself in class yesterday. Poor kid ain’t going to live that one down any time soon.ttaker", someone on FB was reminiscing about Junior school and a class picture popped up and we were naming all we could remember, I stopped myself at saying "sttaker" for some reason. He was the "Kenny" from South Park poor kid, hand me down clothes, sometimes ponged a bit (even when not covered in his own crap), free lunches, borrowed PE kit etcAnyway, I hadnt heard of s
ttaker since maybe the mid eighties, never bumped into him, nobody knew him any more, I am glad I stopped short at using that name as up he popped on Facebook and commented on the same picture I remember doing comprehension in English and we had to work a word into a sentence and my moment came, the teacher ask for volunteers to make a sentence, "Ok, who can give me a sentence with Undeterred in it", I put my hand up and said "Kevin was Undeterred" but I kind of hyphenated Undeterred with a pause so it sounded like "Undy Turd", teacher got it immediately, smirked briefly and said "very good", in a moving on kind of thing then the rest of the class got it and chaos ensued, Kevin was a bit dim so just grinned and didnt really get it, the teacher cracked and had a laugh, couldnt help himself, mainly as he had dealt with Kevins latest problem. I saw him years later and he mentioned it and said it was a tale he had recounted on occasion.
morgs_ said:
Have got various food and drink down myself over the years, but one of the best/worst involved blue T-Cut.
The bottle hadn't been used for a while so I was giving it a good shake, must have been slightly distracted and gripped the bottle too hard as I was shaking it. I was being pretty vigorous at this point and it went everywhere, all over my black jacket and trousers. Looked like a Smurf had spunked over me. Sympathy was of course high from those who viewed my predicament
Do Smurfs have acrid smelling, yellow, abrasive semen ?The bottle hadn't been used for a while so I was giving it a good shake, must have been slightly distracted and gripped the bottle too hard as I was shaking it. I was being pretty vigorous at this point and it went everywhere, all over my black jacket and trousers. Looked like a Smurf had spunked over me. Sympathy was of course high from those who viewed my predicament
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