Woman sets trap, man walks in - Tell us your version

Woman sets trap, man walks in - Tell us your version

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Discussion

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Sunday 19th May 2019
quotequote all
Mrs C - What's on your Bucket List?
Me - Along with owning an Aston and driving Route 66 I've just added a flight in that two seat Spitfire. You?
Mrs C - I'd like a hearing aid.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Sunday 19th May 2019
quotequote all
Mrs C - Say something nice about your first wife.
Me - Blimey, er, okay. Well, let's think. Yes. She was quite a good driver.

Silence.
Longer silence.
Even longer silence.

Me - What?
Mrs C - You said I'm not a good driver.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Monday 20th May 2019
quotequote all
mr_spock said:
When your weekend starts with "can you just...", you're ****ed.
Woman sets trap and springs it reducing prey evasiveness.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Monday 20th May 2019
quotequote all
SAS Tom said:
I think this is another thread full of things that never happened.
Mine did.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Monday 20th May 2019
quotequote all
Damn! Did I just walk into another trap?

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Tuesday 21st May 2019
quotequote all
rofl

There we go. That's the one.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Tuesday 21st May 2019
quotequote all
Kermit power said:
My wife only ever did it once. It was mothers' day, and she said not to worry about it as it was all commercial rubbish anyway. When she then got the hump that she didn't get anything on mothers' day, I just replayed the conversation and asked her why she'd bother to say she didn't want anything if she actually did?
'I don't want'

means either:

'I want the expensive one with the flowers, chocolates and champagne option'

or:

'That's not what I said.'

HTH

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Wednesday 22nd May 2019
quotequote all
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Three jobs.
You sound surprised.

She gave you three jobs and wanted each one done first.

Quite normal.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Saturday 25th May 2019
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Pit Pony said:
Car hunting with woman helping to make descisions.
You dont end up with an MV6 3.2 petrol om9ega

Anyway, wife has a Juke. She needs an auto,
It must be a straight swap, or lower priced. Juke value £5.5 k ish

It needs to have 5 doors, but slightly smaller thsn the juke.
It needs to be cool. And not french.
So not a vauxhall. Or a renault.
Sounds easy right.
Mileage is an issue. Not sure why. She only does 5k a year but anything over 60k is frowned upon.
Has to be petrol.
We had arranged to go and see an old A class A200 turbo and a A200 non turbo CVT
Both woukd result in 2.5 k our way. Which i figure would pay for a new gearbox.
It took 2 weeks to hone 100,000 cars for sale down to 6 in the whole of the UK.

30 minutes in the company of her sister and her niece last night, and there's a further requirement. None of these people have driven an automatic ever.
I need to find her an automatic with an electronic hand brake. Becuase i need to respect her irrational belief that just putting it in park is not safe.
She has an issue with pain in arm and shooulder so using a handbrake results in pain hence needing an auto.

Try that as a search.
In our price range. Top spec astra from 2011 with all options ticked
And a renault scenic. Same age.

Theres 3 cars with 50 miles we can view. It took me 4 hours to find them.
That wasn't a trap, that was involuntary blitzkrieg.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Saturday 25th May 2019
quotequote all
Sticks. said:
Ah, trying to tackle the irrational with science and reasoning. Not much point, as any married man will tell you smile
Publisher's receptionist: "How do you write women so well?"
Melvin Udall: "I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.” 

/As Good As It Gets

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Wednesday 29th May 2019
quotequote all
MarkwG said:
That's out of date, the female age is increasing to meet the male, & both are increasing to 66 by October next year. It's also only the age at which you can claim a state pension, you can "retire" whenever you want to.
It's a sliding areangement. I was 65 in March and my pension starts in September.

"How old are you?"
"Sixty five and a half."

rolleyes

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Tuesday 18th June 2019
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Yesterday I dropped Mrs C's phone. Despite it clearly being an accident the trap was immediately set. I apologised. There was silent glowering. I apologised again. The trap sprung! Aaaaargh! Help! Help! I hadn't apologised correctly.

Love her to bits. Don't understand her half the time but, y'know.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Thursday 20th June 2019
quotequote all
Next time you're away would it be worth it to call her at midnight to enquire about the state of the doors?

Probably not.

Just guessing.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Thursday 20th June 2019
quotequote all
Kewy said:
Are you two some kind of rap duo?
No. Dicky K and Dicky C? We're KC and the Sunshine Band.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Thursday 20th June 2019
quotequote all
glenrobbo said:
Are you little Sir Echo? wink
And you, sir? Who might you be?

Apart from the facts that you are a left handed, pipe smoking Freemason we know nothing about you whatever.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Thursday 20th June 2019
quotequote all
Please take no offence at anything glenrobbo says. When we are all on the same wavelength he is the funniest bloke you've ever met. When we're not, the rest of us have to go on a course to help us tune in again. It's worth it.

Honest. Yay.

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Thursday 20th June 2019
quotequote all
PixelpeepS3 said:
What, him, his wife and her pitbull of a divorce lawyer ?
"Tell the court what you meant when you said you Felter?"

DickyC

Original Poster:

49,771 posts

199 months

Friday 5th July 2019
quotequote all
Arrive at home with mega take out from McDonald's and a big bag of donuts and observe her reaction.

In particular the filled donuts from M&S at a filling station. I'd recommend the custard ones.