Getting over deep emotional regret?

[tinytim123]

Has anyone here gotten over deep emotional regret before & have any tips for coping, know how long it should take?

Bit of background: met the love of my life but we broke up for silly reasons. Had a recent opportunity to get back together after a couple years but did what I thought was best at the time and lost my chance. No hard feelings from the ex, she is a bit disappointed as she was very keen but now it's too late and she has moved on (with someone else). I am left picking up the pieces.

Be great to hear from anyone that may have been through something similar. It is hard because there was nothing fundamentally wrong so it is difficult to look at it objectively and say 'we wouldn't have worked because of y'. Family/friends are being supportive but none been through anything similar before other than a messy breakup where it might be easier to get objective about failings.

[tinytim123]

DoubleTime said:

It's natural to long for someone you were emotionally connected to but it's also natural not to want to go back into a relationship that failed the first time around.

There will come a point in the future that you look back on your feelings at this point and wonder what all the fuss was about. The reason?because when you meet your wife it will all fall into place and you won't be breaking up over silly reasons, I can tell you that for sure....

Thanks man, and all other posters. Feels like it is getting better & agree that it is a mentality thing. But made worse because it feels like a big mistake/chance missed. Guess it will just go down to a lesson I'll have to learn. A difficult one at that.

[tinytim123]

toddler said:

If that's how you feel then you have to tell her. You may regret it for a very long time if you don't. Worst case, she tells you it's too late, she's moved on, but at least you know you tried. I made the wrong choice 28 years ago and still regret it to this day.

I told her. But she is with someone else now & don't think she wants to leave him. I had a girlfriend since we broke up the first time so have been in her position and know from experience that when you are happy you don't want to deviate from that happy relationship, so in a sense this breaks my heart as that could well be it for good now.