Do I have a drinking problem?
Discussion
Firstly, apologies for the long post!
I'm asking for some feedback on my drinking habits from the forum ... my wife told me that she thinks I have a drinking problem this morning whereas I don't think I do but I'm open to being educated.
The fact she has an issue with my drinking automatically means I have a problem by proxy I suppose.
So here goes ....
I don't drink Sunday to Thurs as a general rule. Other than if I'm out for a Sunday lunch where I'd have a couple of pints or if I'm away with work where I'd have 2 maybe 3 pints in the evening and might feel a little dusty at work the next day (usually every 6 weeks or so)
However on a Friday and Saturday night I'll regularly sit at home in front of the TV and have 3 cans of strong lager. Every so often this will turn into quite a few more and I end up drunk. Last night was one of those nights ... this occurs once or maybe twice a year.
She went to bed early and I stayed up to watch a film. I had 3 cans and one large bottle of beer (1500ml total so 3 pints ish) I then opened a 500ml bottle of port and finished it, I knew I shouldn't but couldn't help myself. So about 22 units in total, I was drunk but not steaming.
We have a 3 month old son so I was pretty useless helping her during the night so she's extremely pissed off. She's said she's going to stay at her mum's tonight ... this feels like a punishment.
Some other relevant info:
I have never felt the need or desire to have a drink in the morning.
I don't feel my drinking affects my life or prevents me from doing anything but I didnt go running this morning as I was hungover so I suppose it does a little.
Her grandma is a recovering alcoholic so she's a little sensitive on the topic. I don't know how bad it was but I know her mother still controls all her grandmother's money to prevent a relapse.
Thoughts? Do I have a problem? Am I an alcoholic?!
I'm asking for some feedback on my drinking habits from the forum ... my wife told me that she thinks I have a drinking problem this morning whereas I don't think I do but I'm open to being educated.
The fact she has an issue with my drinking automatically means I have a problem by proxy I suppose.
So here goes ....
I don't drink Sunday to Thurs as a general rule. Other than if I'm out for a Sunday lunch where I'd have a couple of pints or if I'm away with work where I'd have 2 maybe 3 pints in the evening and might feel a little dusty at work the next day (usually every 6 weeks or so)
However on a Friday and Saturday night I'll regularly sit at home in front of the TV and have 3 cans of strong lager. Every so often this will turn into quite a few more and I end up drunk. Last night was one of those nights ... this occurs once or maybe twice a year.
She went to bed early and I stayed up to watch a film. I had 3 cans and one large bottle of beer (1500ml total so 3 pints ish) I then opened a 500ml bottle of port and finished it, I knew I shouldn't but couldn't help myself. So about 22 units in total, I was drunk but not steaming.
We have a 3 month old son so I was pretty useless helping her during the night so she's extremely pissed off. She's said she's going to stay at her mum's tonight ... this feels like a punishment.
Some other relevant info:
I have never felt the need or desire to have a drink in the morning.
I don't feel my drinking affects my life or prevents me from doing anything but I didnt go running this morning as I was hungover so I suppose it does a little.
Her grandma is a recovering alcoholic so she's a little sensitive on the topic. I don't know how bad it was but I know her mother still controls all her grandmother's money to prevent a relapse.
Thoughts? Do I have a problem? Am I an alcoholic?!
Fattyfat said:
Not necessarily but if you're asking the question it suggests a problem exists.
Why not sit down and have a chat with your wife about it if it's a touchy subject? Could you abstain without any difficulty?
I didn't really think it was a problem until I met her and she raised it. That's why I'm asking...because I don't know. She thinks any amount of 'drinking on your own' is unacceptable.Why not sit down and have a chat with your wife about it if it's a touchy subject? Could you abstain without any difficulty?
I occasionally binge because I enjoy it ... Not to mask anything (that I'm aware of). I've got a good job, a beautiful wife and a new son...life is good. I just enjoy the odd session.
Can I abstain? I'll be honest, I find it difficult.
Thanks for all the opinions, much appreciated and certainly some food for thought.
To put the record straight on a couple of points ....
This is the first time I've got drunk since he was born (3 months).
I've helped with caring for our son as much as is possible at all times other than last night.
No arguments were had with her ...
She has opportunities to go out without me and my son. Last Friday for instance she went out for dinner/drinks whilst I stayed in and looked after the baby. Saturday night we went out with Friends whilst grandparents babysat.
I've never actually tried to abstain as I've never felt the need. Could I do it? Probably but it'd take a little will power.
To put the record straight on a couple of points ....
This is the first time I've got drunk since he was born (3 months).
I've helped with caring for our son as much as is possible at all times other than last night.
No arguments were had with her ...
She has opportunities to go out without me and my son. Last Friday for instance she went out for dinner/drinks whilst I stayed in and looked after the baby. Saturday night we went out with Friends whilst grandparents babysat.
I've never actually tried to abstain as I've never felt the need. Could I do it? Probably but it'd take a little will power.
Edited by John Laverick on Friday 20th December 21:53
The beers we're 2 x vocation life and death (6.5%) - 330ml
1 x vocation pride and joy (5.3%) - 330ml
1 x franziskaner (5%) - 500ml
I usually get the three for a fiver deal, it's a rare occurrence I'd pick up a fourth.
I only mentioned 'strong' as I consider the 6.5% IPA to be stronger than most but I buy it for the taste not the strength. I'd prefer if it wasn't as strong.
1 x vocation pride and joy (5.3%) - 330ml
1 x franziskaner (5%) - 500ml
I usually get the three for a fiver deal, it's a rare occurrence I'd pick up a fourth.
I only mentioned 'strong' as I consider the 6.5% IPA to be stronger than most but I buy it for the taste not the strength. I'd prefer if it wasn't as strong.
I felt compelled to ask the question because although I didn't / don't think I have a drinking problem I trust my wife's judgement. I did need to think about it though ... It's unusual we don't agree on a subject. It shocked me a little.
It's useful to get opinions of others (even internet strangers) so I can be better informed ... I've been wrong before!! Its eye opening to read the varying extremes of view on here.
I realise it was a selfish act and have committed to not drink like that at home again ... I've also decided to not drink next weekend and might do a dry January to prove to myself it's not an issue.
Btw I worked it out ... it was 18.5 units not 22
Regardless ... I obviously bought some flowers spoke to my wife (I don't need the internet to tell me to do that). Turns out she's not coping during the day as well as I thought and hadn't told me to avoid worrying me. I think my antics were the straw that broke the camel's back on this particular occasion.
Thanks for everyones advice.
It's useful to get opinions of others (even internet strangers) so I can be better informed ... I've been wrong before!! Its eye opening to read the varying extremes of view on here.
I realise it was a selfish act and have committed to not drink like that at home again ... I've also decided to not drink next weekend and might do a dry January to prove to myself it's not an issue.
Btw I worked it out ... it was 18.5 units not 22
Regardless ... I obviously bought some flowers spoke to my wife (I don't need the internet to tell me to do that). Turns out she's not coping during the day as well as I thought and hadn't told me to avoid worrying me. I think my antics were the straw that broke the camel's back on this particular occasion.
Thanks for everyones advice.
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