Lethargy

[Teddy Lop]

Feel a bit pathetic posting this but I'm on an undeniable slide and I need to reverse it.

First of all I'm hardworking, brought up that way, when we bought our house 10 years ago I did 12x7 to get it ready. At work I go the extra mile to pre empt problems, get annoyed at those who do the minimum, I'll spend longer on a first fit to make the second fit easier/smoother. I've lost count of the number of people who, after a big refurb, have taken the time to thank me and point out they noticed how my work went seamlessly wheras others' frequently didn't. If I told you I'd be there at 8am it was so, if a problem presents itself I'm already trying to fix it when others are all preoccupied losing their heads. So I'm not the dhead tradesman people often vocalize about. I'm not some ineffectual melt who needs mummy to kiss it better.

But for the last couple or so of years I've been declining.. Much of It silly things - admins never been a strong point but I've been ignoring calls, not replying to messages or emails for yonks or even at all, failing to even order materials in time. Little things that all seem foreboding. Punctuality sliding. Self sabotaging - Its like I'm becoming the idiot tradesman profile.

On weekends I can waste days pissing on sites like this when there's quotes and invoices to sort... I'm not even enjoying it that much, I'd get more satisfaction reading one of a pile of books I have but don't, I just kind of stagnate... And then I'm annoyed at myself.

Its not just work stuff there's a million jobs from silly such as hanging pictures to large that just sit there ominously.

I've tried talking to a shrink (inclined to depression), meditating (can't), sheduling (ignored) setting an alarm as a get-up (get up and still procrastinate)or a start point (ignored, 10 more minutes etc)

On some days I can just make a start and get a load done. But they seem less and less frequent. I'm sure its just a focus your head thing but it feels like some kind of cognitive decline.

What's wrong with me and how do I reverse it? This goes back way before 2020 BTW although I don't think that's helped. Thanks for reading.

Eta 43 M and reasonably fit and healthy.

[Teddy Lop]

Thanks for replying.

I've seen several different therapists over the years - generally weve made progress then it just kind of stagnates. I realise there's classic mental health symptoms in the above post and I realise its is a head problem, but to be honest I don't actually feel that far down right now, certainly been worse, if anything this issue is what's making me feel worse although I guess they feed each other.

[Teddy Lop]

Thanks for all replies. I may well try that - I had a blood test some time which the mrs informs me that testosterone was "on the low side but no concern", which could just be the nhs (clapclapclap) way of saying "you won't die from it today so jog on"

What exactly should I ask for and what should I do with it?

Been a low couple of days - yesterday couldn't even summon the go to get out the van for 20 mins to start job. But did. Got home early and did some sums for some quotes and felt a little positive, like I'd troughed, didn't have anything sheduled for today so rather than go to work decided to consign today as a paperwork catch up. Set alarm for 8, got up, did nothing but piss around till 2, went up to the office, got as far as entering an email address, then pissed around for 2 more hours, then eventually struggled out maybe an hours actual work/send on some quotes.

Dunno what the matter is. I've got about 2 weeks worth of work in the book, a hole in my potential diary as a builder I'm in deep with isn't looking great, I've got several quotes I've already been chased on I only need to spend an hour sorting, couple of good clients plus a potentially very good new one, and I'm dicking them around. I just can't sit down, focus and do a simple stupid little task.
Makes no sense whatsoever. I think its at least partly common garden variety depression that just hasn't hit me with the despondency it has in the past, the sheer amount of finger wagging going on right now just grinding you down.

But anyway, glad my thread seems to be of some use.

[Teddy Lop]

Alrey87 said:

At your age there’s a VERY high chance of this being low testosterone. Get a testosterone and esteogen blood test from medichecks and report back your results if you are dedicated to fixing this. The NHS won’t even suggest it as an option.

Testosterone came back 20.5. Several other potentials (thyroid, lft, vits B, D) all ok (take D supps anyway after low score years ago)

only alert proper was elevated serum ferritin with advice to go dry+retest but TBF have been caning the booze recently, have taken steps to reduce considerably.

But may have made a mini breakthrough of sorts, Shrink recons I have low blood CO2 levels (after testing by asking me to fully breath out and hold breath - healthy adult should manage 45+ secs, I'm gasping after 20) which in crude terms means I'm permanently in a low level form of hyperventilating. It actually makes perfect sense - I have a resting heartrate of high 70's (healthy & not o/w fairly fit 42) and really struggle to relax and switch off. very easily distracted, fairly certain I have AD. Have tried meditation/ guided med and just found it near impossible. Shrink say alcohol abuse makes sense as I'm sedating myself and thats the only escape I get, my relationship with alcohol is often not pssed enough/not pssed enough/not pssed enough/not pssed enough/spannered, just like that it switches. Actually a lot of drugs and things have a binary nothing/All effect on me, shrink said to try nootropics alpha-brain and in particular brain-zyme as these have had positive effects in some people particularly those with AD, max dose, zilch, absolutely no discernible effect at all, also why I'm not keen on pills, which have also produced the same experience.