Is this appropriate Twitter behaviour from my Wife?
Discussion
- Mods - feel free to move to a new section. As a new user I can not post in the Lounge*
I’ve been married around 20 years with my Wife (both in our early 40s) and we have 2 young kids.
Last year I stumbled across my wife’s Twitter profile. It’s under a pseudonym name but I recognised the banner and profile photos. I had a quick look back through her recent posts (open profile) to see what she has been posting about. Most of the stuff she was posting was the usual drivel that you see on Twitter. I recommend this film, hey we have snow, we had fun on our Easter egg hunt, blah blah.
Now for the bits that have been making me uncomfortable;
Firstly, her “status” line (or whatever it’s called on Twitter) would have a message along the lines of
Do not sent me a pic of your junk – I’m not interested
Strictly no DMs please
I’m not interested in what’s in your pants
etc.
OK, so she is getting a bunch of d-pics or whatever. Not particularly savoury, but not really her fault.
She occasionally posts what I would consider slightly inappropriate photos. For example, a photo of just before she went for a night out with the girls. Tight dress, big cleavage, lots of thigh, dolled up. Fair enough. These photos would always get a bunch of comments from random pervy guys about how sexy she looks, nice thighs, etc. She would sometimes reply to those with “Aww thanks” or kiss emojis, etc. Slightly weird? She has also made suggestive posts basically showing some kinky boots or undies saying I’m going to surprise my hubby with these tonight, do you think he will like it? Of course, it attracts a bunch of pervs saying that they would go crazy over it, etc. Some pervs would reply with giff clips of soft or even hard core scenes.
Now the bit that has upset me the most;
She has been sending messages to a singer of a semi famous UK band. Yes, she is a fan of their music but she messaged the lead singer many times and once said that his voice drives her crazy and gives tingles all over her body(!). She sent a message at a different time asking if his tour was coming to our home town, etc. (isn't this one step away from saying "I'm hot for you, lets meet up"?) I could forget this is it was a huge USA/Hollywood star. but this is a lesser known UK guy who is a lot more... achievable I guess.
The plot thickens - I later saw a tweet from her going on a rant saying how she cant do this any more and I can’t stop thinking of you so I’m going off twitter for a while to cool off etc.
When I saw that I actually confronted her and she said that this lead singer guy has been copying her on twitter and repeating a lot of the posts she has been making. She basically said this guy has been almost cyber stalking her and hanging on her every word, etc.
Anyway, things blew up a little and I told her I‘m not happy with her conduct on Twitter etc. She said she didn't appreciate being spied on but she went off social media for a couple of months.
Now, she's back and she currently has a new Twitter profile and an Instagram profile which are both now private so I can’t see what she is saying or who she is contacting. Every evening, she is glued to her phone typing away. I have no idea who she is talking to or what photos she is sharing.
I can’t decide if this is all completely out of order or whether I’m being too intrusive and controlling.
What is your take on this please?
OP checking in.
No, I never got to see the boots in action
The split in responses on this thread confirms to me that this is a borderline issue.
Some of the comments really hit home, especially about her boredom and seeking attention and validation. She has spent a lot of time on skin care and hair beautification recently and she does look beautiful. It's the same old story of us looking after young kids, stressful jobs, being tired out the whole time, no childcare support, etc. I guess we haven't had much "us" time.
I haven't raised the whole social media issue with her again yet and her profiles are still private. I'm hoping that the private profile is her way of stopping the pervs from sending unsolicited comments and pics.
My plan is to give her some space online and not to raise it as an issue. If it turns out she runs off with this b-tier musician, then so be it. Time will tell if this was the right decision.
No, I never got to see the boots in action
The split in responses on this thread confirms to me that this is a borderline issue.
Some of the comments really hit home, especially about her boredom and seeking attention and validation. She has spent a lot of time on skin care and hair beautification recently and she does look beautiful. It's the same old story of us looking after young kids, stressful jobs, being tired out the whole time, no childcare support, etc. I guess we haven't had much "us" time.
I haven't raised the whole social media issue with her again yet and her profiles are still private. I'm hoping that the private profile is her way of stopping the pervs from sending unsolicited comments and pics.
My plan is to give her some space online and not to raise it as an issue. If it turns out she runs off with this b-tier musician, then so be it. Time will tell if this was the right decision.
OP update-
Just a note to say she was never pretending to be single on these profiles. That doesn't stop the eager boys from contacting her and replying with inappropriate images and videos it seems.
Anyway, I tried raising my concerns with her saying I have no idea what she is up to on there and that I saw weird stuff when her profile was open. She reassured me that she isn't doing anything like that, blah blah. I noticed she has just deleted her profiles too. Lets see how long they are down for.
Just a note to say she was never pretending to be single on these profiles. That doesn't stop the eager boys from contacting her and replying with inappropriate images and videos it seems.
Anyway, I tried raising my concerns with her saying I have no idea what she is up to on there and that I saw weird stuff when her profile was open. She reassured me that she isn't doing anything like that, blah blah. I noticed she has just deleted her profiles too. Lets see how long they are down for.
OK update time.
Things have been really good between us recently. Lots of bedroom antics, etc. It's been really nice.
Social media has gone nuts though.
Open profiles again. Insta is fairly straight forward boring stuff (she knows I have my own account)
Twitter though. OMG.
New profile but same silly anonymous name. She is being a total nympho character on there. Sharing every possible intimate detail of what we have actually been up to. Like, EVERYTHING. Posting about what he is going to do to me, what she thinks about, replying to tweets of extreme hardcore gifs saying she cant stop watching it and it gets her wet, etc. Really explicit stuff.
She doesn't seem to be reaching out to any individual and there doesn't seem to be any replies to her tweets.
To be honest, I wouldn't mind her having this fantasy life online BUT - she uses her real actual photo as the profile! She has a bunch of followers but I don't know if they are her actual friends or not. It's freaking me out a bit. I feel like if I raise it with her again, she will go in a huff and make it private again.
WTF is going on here? What do I do?
Things have been really good between us recently. Lots of bedroom antics, etc. It's been really nice.
Social media has gone nuts though.
Open profiles again. Insta is fairly straight forward boring stuff (she knows I have my own account)
Twitter though. OMG.
New profile but same silly anonymous name. She is being a total nympho character on there. Sharing every possible intimate detail of what we have actually been up to. Like, EVERYTHING. Posting about what he is going to do to me, what she thinks about, replying to tweets of extreme hardcore gifs saying she cant stop watching it and it gets her wet, etc. Really explicit stuff.
She doesn't seem to be reaching out to any individual and there doesn't seem to be any replies to her tweets.
To be honest, I wouldn't mind her having this fantasy life online BUT - she uses her real actual photo as the profile! She has a bunch of followers but I don't know if they are her actual friends or not. It's freaking me out a bit. I feel like if I raise it with her again, she will go in a huff and make it private again.
WTF is going on here? What do I do?
hmg said:
Call me cynical but something smells a bit fishy about this story.
I really wish it was fake.She has been going on about how some junior doctor has been propositioning her and sending DM videos of himself blah blah.
I've had a couple of drinks tonight but with this and my current work pressures, I'm feeling pretty suicidal to be honest.
The beer is talking now, but when this first kicked off and I confronted her and I was really upset. I necked a few shots of JD, stormed out of the house and took a walk to the local woods at about 11pm, I actually stood there a good 45 minutes in the dark. I was very close to doing something stupid but I kept thinking about my kids and what would happen to the house/mortgage without me and I eventually thought better of it and skulked off back home. If I didn't have kids, I don't think I'd be posting today.
I don't feel to bad at the moment and I don't want to cause alarm. If I start feeling really low again I'll try and reach out to someone.
Just to be absolutely clear - wife and kids are completely safe and there has never been any violence or aggression towards them or anything like that. Just putting that out there.
Just to be absolutely clear - wife and kids are completely safe and there has never been any violence or aggression towards them or anything like that. Just putting that out there.
I'm not trolling by the way.
Legit long time PHer. Old school, like mapped 335d, dominating the stairs, beard transplant, Bulldog threesome guy with the shoelace, etc.
I know this whole story sounds a bit weird but its the life I'm living. I'm finding it strangely therapeutic to get all this off my chest.
Legit long time PHer. Old school, like mapped 335d, dominating the stairs, beard transplant, Bulldog threesome guy with the shoelace, etc.
I know this whole story sounds a bit weird but its the life I'm living. I'm finding it strangely therapeutic to get all this off my chest.
Joey Deacon said:
Why is she telling you this..
She isn't!It's one of her Twitter posts. She tells the world everything before she tells me anything,
Her twitter profile has gone again. Or she has changed names again. She was being weird again today (in person) like quiet and went to bed early. She probably just changed her Twitter handle again and it will take a while to find her new profile. She might even be onto this thread.
I don't really give a damn anymore. I'm getting really fed up.
OP checking in.
I haven't found her new twitter yet. It might not exist or it might be worse than ever. I have no idea. (scares me a bit)
We went out shopping today with the kids. She kept dropping back behind me walking with the kids which was weird. I would look back and she would regularly be 20+ meters back by herself. We stopped for a coffee and I was entertaining the kids and she was on her phone like normal.
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers? She is on her "special time" at the moment so it's not like I am withholding romance deliberately or anything.
Also, I'm noticing that a lot of the people commenting on her photo are relatives and mutual friends as well as random men I'don't know.
I find this all rather humiliating but earlier comments on this thread suggest it's quite normal and I should be flattered of random men make comments towards her.
I'm getting really fed up with it. I feel trapped that if I say anything that I am controlling or spying on her. I hate it.
I haven't found her new twitter yet. It might not exist or it might be worse than ever. I have no idea. (scares me a bit)
We went out shopping today with the kids. She kept dropping back behind me walking with the kids which was weird. I would look back and she would regularly be 20+ meters back by herself. We stopped for a coffee and I was entertaining the kids and she was on her phone like normal.
I later see in her Insta feed a photo of her wearing her new dress (worn for shopping) saying how it was a real head turner with a blushing emoji. So I guess she was dropping back behind us to try and get some admiring glances from strangers? She is on her "special time" at the moment so it's not like I am withholding romance deliberately or anything.
Also, I'm noticing that a lot of the people commenting on her photo are relatives and mutual friends as well as random men I'don't know.
I find this all rather humiliating but earlier comments on this thread suggest it's quite normal and I should be flattered of random men make comments towards her.
I'm getting really fed up with it. I feel trapped that if I say anything that I am controlling or spying on her. I hate it.
This "issue" had been put on hold as I had some serious work issues to deal with. Now I've cleared the work drama, I'm back trying to improve my relationship.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Still no Twitter as far as I can see. Her Insta has gone private again but her profile photo on there is again a very revealing suggestive outfit.
I get so sad that she makes such an effort with her makeup and dressing up for a quick trip around the shops, takes loads of smiley selfies for her social media and then as soon as we get home, all the makeup instantly comes off and she sits around in pajamas and a tired old dressing gown. It's like it's all show for her random followers but none of it is for me. Certainly no romance again. It's been about 2 or 3 months I think. I just get ignored or brushed off.
The whole situation is really knocking my confidence and I'm really missing the physical aspects.
Just a quick OP update;
I'm still here, reading your comments and suggestions which is strangely comforting. I don't have many (any?) tangible friends that I would be willing to discuss this with.
She has really toned down the social media as far as I can see. She only has an Instagram account which is closed, but after a heated debate I have access to as her contact.
Not much happening on the romance front. Both in stressful jobs which we both hate. I can't really see any way out from this situation to be honest. If I'm alive in 5 years time, it will be a miracle. I keep searching for other jobs but the pay would be £20k less for something a bit less stressful. I can't see any job that I would actually enjoy. Still miserable every day.
I'm still here, reading your comments and suggestions which is strangely comforting. I don't have many (any?) tangible friends that I would be willing to discuss this with.
She has really toned down the social media as far as I can see. She only has an Instagram account which is closed, but after a heated debate I have access to as her contact.
Not much happening on the romance front. Both in stressful jobs which we both hate. I can't really see any way out from this situation to be honest. If I'm alive in 5 years time, it will be a miracle. I keep searching for other jobs but the pay would be £20k less for something a bit less stressful. I can't see any job that I would actually enjoy. Still miserable every day.
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