A brief introduction to home mechanics
Discussion
This is mostly cathartic.
On Saturday night I punched myself in the face as I rounded off a bolt as I fitted new calipers to the old C-Max. It should have taken about three hours. It took double and there's blood all over my driveway, my overalls, and ironically, the brakes still need bled. The punch to the face reminded me of my youth, in so much as I felt too f
king old to be doing stuff like this.
Nowadays I've got scars all over my hands, my nails are always dirty, the skin around them is permanently cracked, and all the gloss white frames leading to the workshop are discoloured. The side of the house has old discs, exhausts, and miscellaneous metal parts waiting for the tip, which I now have to space out visits as they have begun to hassle me.
In the workshop, most of my electrical fixtures are zip tied in place, I've what must account to a few grand in tools I've collected over the last 13 years. Only an vindictive thief would want them as there's parts missing from every set, hammer marks on chrome sockets, and the dirt is encrusted on everything. The spanners are grouped in what must be someone's nightmare, some have been cut in half for those "specialist tool" jobs, and I've components for cars that stopped production over two and a half decades and ago and aren't worth anything but for some reason I have yet to move them. Perhaps I live in hope of one day owning another 1995 MR2 turbo.
When relatives and work colleagues talk about cars I try not to be a smart arse but I think they see me cringe when they say something stupid. A young relative tells me their "camshaft has gone" on their low mileage Saxo. I ask for more information, but fail to contain my disdain at their condescension. They don't actually know what a camshaft is and just assumed I didn't know either. For a moment I actually envy her, if you don't know how it works you can't feel bad for paying someone else to fix it. Not reassuring she works at Halfords however. Although probably a good explanation.
Nowadays I do ok financially. I do not in all honesty need to own 10 year old MPVs and Japanese saloons. I could easily kit us out with modest new cars (although possibly not equivalent in my mind). In fact I could even pay someone to fix these things for me. But here I am exchanging time, frustration, and apparently blood, for money.
So once again it is Monday morning. I ache from a weekend of what "should of been an easy job". My nails are black, I should have got someone to do it, but I know I've paid a chunk of the spring holiday off with what I've saved. Christ almighty though, I fking wish I didn't have to do this anymore.
Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?
On Saturday night I punched myself in the face as I rounded off a bolt as I fitted new calipers to the old C-Max. It should have taken about three hours. It took double and there's blood all over my driveway, my overalls, and ironically, the brakes still need bled. The punch to the face reminded me of my youth, in so much as I felt too f
king old to be doing stuff like this.Nowadays I've got scars all over my hands, my nails are always dirty, the skin around them is permanently cracked, and all the gloss white frames leading to the workshop are discoloured. The side of the house has old discs, exhausts, and miscellaneous metal parts waiting for the tip, which I now have to space out visits as they have begun to hassle me.
In the workshop, most of my electrical fixtures are zip tied in place, I've what must account to a few grand in tools I've collected over the last 13 years. Only an vindictive thief would want them as there's parts missing from every set, hammer marks on chrome sockets, and the dirt is encrusted on everything. The spanners are grouped in what must be someone's nightmare, some have been cut in half for those "specialist tool" jobs, and I've components for cars that stopped production over two and a half decades and ago and aren't worth anything but for some reason I have yet to move them. Perhaps I live in hope of one day owning another 1995 MR2 turbo.
When relatives and work colleagues talk about cars I try not to be a smart arse but I think they see me cringe when they say something stupid. A young relative tells me their "camshaft has gone" on their low mileage Saxo. I ask for more information, but fail to contain my disdain at their condescension. They don't actually know what a camshaft is and just assumed I didn't know either. For a moment I actually envy her, if you don't know how it works you can't feel bad for paying someone else to fix it. Not reassuring she works at Halfords however. Although probably a good explanation.
Nowadays I do ok financially. I do not in all honesty need to own 10 year old MPVs and Japanese saloons. I could easily kit us out with modest new cars (although possibly not equivalent in my mind). In fact I could even pay someone to fix these things for me. But here I am exchanging time, frustration, and apparently blood, for money.
So once again it is Monday morning. I ache from a weekend of what "should of been an easy job". My nails are black, I should have got someone to do it, but I know I've paid a chunk of the spring holiday off with what I've saved. Christ almighty though, I f
king wish I didn't have to do this anymore.Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this s
t?", yet still scrambling under your cars?Edited by Prof Prolapse on Monday 25th January 10:30
I think it was worse about 8 or 9 years ago when I was broke and the neighbours and relatives going, "Oh I know you enjoy tinkering on your cars"...
You'd actually have spent the full weekend half killing yourself, using tools most Christmas cracker manufacturers would reject,
fitting the cheapest parts you could get because you had literally no money. You couldn't even afford the Haynes manual so you just had to bloody guess. No nitrile gloves, and Swarfega, so after 12 hours of smashing your knuckles and running out to buy more tools as you had no idea how to plan the job, you spend half an hour using fairy liquid with sugar granules in it.
All mechanical work conducted under a scissor jack on gravel.
You'd actually have spent the full weekend half killing yourself, using tools most Christmas cracker manufacturers would reject,
fitting the cheapest parts you could get because you had literally no money. You couldn't even afford the Haynes manual so you just had to bloody guess. No nitrile gloves, and Swarfega, so after 12 hours of smashing your knuckles and running out to buy more tools as you had no idea how to plan the job, you spend half an hour using fairy liquid with sugar granules in it.
All mechanical work conducted under a scissor jack on gravel.
Megaflow said:
My back is killing me today from putting ~75kg of 1200cc Suzuki engine into it's freshly powder coated frame yesterday.
LOL, I can only imagine. I had no idea how much bike engines weighed until I had my lighter than yours CBR engine out in October. The language out of me was horrendous even by my standards as I lifted it out having made the stupid decision to rest it on the floor;"HOW THE f
k IS THIS fkING stTY 600CC ENGINE SO fkING HEAVY *pant* I THOUGHT *pant* YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MADE OF ALLY YOU fkING *pant*" Then bent my metal bench beyond repair when I put it down. Breaking off several parts.
Mr2Mike said:
Still love working on the bike though, as I can do it inside my workshop and since it's more of a toy than a necessity there's no pressure to get it finished to be able to get to work.
I must admit working on the bike is hugely less annoying. Mostly because everything is simple, easy access, and not rotten.I need a spare though, as I often find I end up working on it when I should be riding it.
SonicShadow said:
How did you manage to round bolts on a 10 year old car? Crap 12 point sockets instead of proper 6 sided sockets, I assume?
A 90's Jap car isn't for you if you're rounding bolts on such a relatively new car
Here's what I read;A 90's Jap car isn't for you if you're rounding bolts on such a relatively new car
SonicShadow said:
I didn't actually read anything he said but I'm going to assume he's an idiot anyway, because I'm arrogant as fk but remember undoing a bolt once with my dad watching me. I read somewhere some people don't know what "single hex" is, so often use it inappropriately. He must have done that and be an idiot, as I've fk all actual experience in how bolts can be rounded by things like condition, the previous removing of the bolt, and the quality of metal.
Rather than join in, with what has been quite a good natured thread by all, I'm going to have a go at this bloke, who was mostly just having a laugh, because I am actually such a loser, condescending to people on the internet makes me feel momentarily superior. Even if it's absolutely baseless.
Also I lack so much perspective and experience, that I haven't realised that 10 year cars are actually very old. Especially when they are lowest bidder Euroboxes. I can't however admit this, as I own one an old car and my ego won't let me.
Finally if I checked his car history I'd also realize he's owned three 90's Jap cars including the turbocharged version of my own "hairdresser Spec" MR2 and some pretty ancient metal which must mean he has considerable experience of removing old bolts.
Your version was much more succinct though. k but remember undoing a bolt once with my dad watching me. I read somewhere some people don't know what "single hex" is, so often use it inappropriately. He must have done that and be an idiot, as I've fk all actual experience in how bolts can be rounded by things like condition, the previous removing of the bolt, and the quality of metal. Rather than join in, with what has been quite a good natured thread by all, I'm going to have a go at this bloke, who was mostly just having a laugh, because I am actually such a loser, condescending to people on the internet makes me feel momentarily superior. Even if it's absolutely baseless.
Also I lack so much perspective and experience, that I haven't realised that 10 year cars are actually very old. Especially when they are lowest bidder Euroboxes. I can't however admit this, as I own one an old car and my ego won't let me.
Finally if I checked his car history I'd also realize he's owned three 90's Jap cars including the turbocharged version of my own "hairdresser Spec" MR2 and some pretty ancient metal which must mean he has considerable experience of removing old bolts.
All in good humour of course. Probably.
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