Funny things old people say/do
Discussion
My girlfriends grandfather doesnt have a computer, or an understanding of the internet, and how it all works. The other day he asked if he could have the internet in his home for just one day, without having a computer 
He also drives through gaps which are too small for the car, and has taken the wing mirror clean off about 4 times in the last 18 months.
Her other grandfather was doing some electrical work, and though that by earthing himself to the nearby electricity pylon would prevent him from being harmed in the case of an electrical shock. He also gargled with bleach all his life, and his wife carried a hammer in her bag for personal safety. Eccentric type, he built the kids a roundabout out of a washing machine engine which would plug in, speed up, and then throw the kids all over the garden, but that was before he was old.
Her grandmother once had the an upset stomach, and he thought it would be a clever idea to put newspaper down on the floors of the entire house "in case she didnt make it"
He also drives through gaps which are too small for the car, and has taken the wing mirror clean off about 4 times in the last 18 months.
Her other grandfather was doing some electrical work, and though that by earthing himself to the nearby electricity pylon would prevent him from being harmed in the case of an electrical shock. He also gargled with bleach all his life, and his wife carried a hammer in her bag for personal safety. Eccentric type, he built the kids a roundabout out of a washing machine engine which would plug in, speed up, and then throw the kids all over the garden, but that was before he was old.
Her grandmother once had the an upset stomach, and he thought it would be a clever idea to put newspaper down on the floors of the entire house "in case she didnt make it"
I remember the time my grandfather accidentally spat his dentures into the sand - he didnt appreciate us laughing, and couldnt see the funny side.
My grandmother (lives overseas, dont think they have many roundabouts) passed her exit, and rather than going round again, slammed on the breaks, and reversed backwards around the roundabout, and off on the exit she had missed.
My grandmother (lives overseas, dont think they have many roundabouts) passed her exit, and rather than going round again, slammed on the breaks, and reversed backwards around the roundabout, and off on the exit she had missed.
EmmaP said:
ukbob said:
Her other grandfather was doing some electrical work, and though that by earthing himself to the nearby electricity pylon would prevent him from being harmed in the case of an electrical shock.
I haven't laughed so much in ages. Thanks for that !
I once stretched clingfilm under the toilet seat across the bowl. Stretch it megatightly, and all creases will dissappear, making it perfectly invisible, ready for action!
In walks grandpa, unzips to squirt half a days tea and cofee down the crapper, and as the first squirt of hot piss jets from his oldsnake, being old, be realises he cant stop!!
edited because I clicked submit before I was finished.
He just couldnt stop, and had to stand there wizzing away all over himself, splattering pee over the bath, cupboards and walls and floor. He was NOT amused!!! Oh how we laughed!!
>> Edited by ukbob on Thursday 21st October 11:10
Same old grandfather had to visit the doctor; he was the type that would don his best suit and tie, polish up his old shoes, choose his best walking stick and get himself looking on top form before leaving the house for any kind of appointment.
We all bundled into the car, and pulled up outside the doc's practise, grandpa opens the door, and putting his best foot forward, makes a pancake out of a pile of sloppy dog rot.
After much cursing and waving of his stick, he's back in the car, grumbling whilst grandma's races us home so he can change into an unsoiled suit, with me chuckle-snorting away in the back seat
We all bundle back into the car, with grandpa complaining how cruel and unfair life is, and upon arrival (still fuming at the smell dog smut) he discovers that yet again, after wiping turds all over the front of the seat, he's covered his second suit in stinking dog slop, so back into the car again...
We all bundled into the car, and pulled up outside the doc's practise, grandpa opens the door, and putting his best foot forward, makes a pancake out of a pile of sloppy dog rot.
After much cursing and waving of his stick, he's back in the car, grumbling whilst grandma's races us home so he can change into an unsoiled suit, with me chuckle-snorting away in the back seat
We all bundle back into the car, with grandpa complaining how cruel and unfair life is, and upon arrival (still fuming at the smell dog smut) he discovers that yet again, after wiping turds all over the front of the seat, he's covered his second suit in stinking dog slop, so back into the car again...
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