What has your "friend" been up to?

[anonymous-user]

Most Pistonheaders have a “friend” who gets into an endless series of scrapes, brouhahas, and tight spots. Perhaps we all know the same bloke? Anyway, this does not say much for our judgment in choosing our “friends”.

My “friend” has:

- Crashed a Triumph Vitesse into a ditch.

- Allowed another friend to drive an unroadworthy Land Rover in a cloud of smoke two miles on the public highway whilst following at a safe distance.

- Been busted for speeding (and paid up) four times. EDIT: six times. EDIT: eight times

- Been arrested for being cheeky to a policeman.

- Been shaken down for a bribe by French border cops.

- Held at gunpoint by a grumpy Spanish Coastguard.

- Driven without an MOT for two weeks owing to having **** for brains.

- Reversed a brand new BMW into a bollard.

- Shouted rude words at a little old lady in a Honda

etc, etc, etc.

What has your “friend” been up to?

Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 21st April 17:18

Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 21st January 18:34

[anonymous-user]

Indeed. This thread is for "friends". In the unlikely event that any of us has an actual friend, this thread is not about him.

[anonymous-user]

His DNA has to come off the database now - see Court ruling from last week.

My "friend" has also bust class A airspace without a clearance, successfully sued someone for libel, and (probably) lost a half million quid lottery ticket which he didn't do anything about.

[anonymous-user]

Sounds like the same dude. He also cracked the sump on an Alfa by going over a speed hump too fast.

[anonymous-user]

My "friend", when young and foolish, raced his BMW 325i against a Saab 900 Turbo along the Embankment, hit a kerb and wrote off a wheel and tyre. He has slowed down a bit since then.

[anonymous-user]

That sounds suspiciously like an actual friend, but whether friend or "friend", he should be dobbed in, assuming that the driving is not on a Scalectrix track or otherwise not on a road.

[anonymous-user]

My "friend" once locked himself inside the common hall of his block and had to be let out by his neighbour. This would have been OK were it not for the facts that my "friend" was accompanied by a 22 year old stripper, and the neighbour was a vicar.

[anonymous-user]

When my "friend" first rented a car, he reversed it out of the rental yard, activating lift up spikes which punctured all four tyres. He didn't have to pay for the damage, as he was being directed by a Hertz employee who was an equal or even greater numptie than he.

[anonymous-user]

jbi, your friend is not allowed in this thread - see above.

[anonymous-user]

jbi, I am not sure that you have fully grasped what this thread is about.

[anonymous-user]

My "friend" got out of his car to close the bonnet, which was ajar, leaving it with the engine running and in Drive, held by its forty year old handbrake, pointing downhill, with his small child in the back. He got away with it.

[anonymous-user]

Gosh, what naughty "friends" you all have.

My "friend" shrugged his shoulders when asked why his almost new Rover 216 Vitesse had popped a cylinder, and had it repaired under warranty, somehow omitting to mention the redlining the nuts off it when changing from fifth to second through incompetence whilst making forward progress on the unbecamera'd A9, at what passed in those far off days for a semi-leptonic velocity.

[anonymous-user]

Depends on which websites you (sorry your "friend") look/s at.

[anonymous-user]

My “friend” was driving down a lonely and narrow Scottish road in fog, at night, and decided that he was going the wrong way. In the course of turning around he got his rear wheels hopelessly stuck in a roadside ditch, leaving the car stuck at ninety degrees across the road. Luckily he was saved by two dudes in a camper van who turned up a little while later.

[anonymous-user]

There is some evidence, albeit inconclusive, that that story may relate to a friend, in which case it wouldn't be allowed.

[anonymous-user]

My "friend" filled up with V-Power.... the diesel kind. It cost him over 200 smackers to get some bloke to hoick the stuff out of his old Italian petrol car.

[anonymous-user]

Er, another "read the thread" fail?

[anonymous-user]

A brief anouncement:

This thread is for posting about what your friend has been up to. It is not for posting about what your friend has been up to. If you want to post about what your friend has been up to, please post on a thread about what your friend has been up to. If, on the other hand, you wish to post about what your friend has been up to, then please post here.

I hope that's cleared that one up. On we go!

[anonymous-user]

Talking of furniture related "friend" action, my "friend", whilst at university, decided to win the approval of a local hot female person by placing the old, large, solid and heavy wardrobe that she had just bought in her bedroom for her while she was away. He recruited some cohorts, and they planned their expert furniture movage endeavours in the pub for some hours. The bedroom of la hotness was at the top of a narrow staircase with two turns in it. Suffice it to say that on her return the next day, the wardrobe was in a suitable state for small domestic starting fires with. Words were spoken. some of them surprisingly harsh and industrial to hear coming from such a delicate young lady person.. This ended my "friend's" promising career in the removals trade, together with certain other ambitions that he had been developing.

[anonymous-user]

Luxury shagpad.