Make up your own special editions
Discussion
From an idle e-mail conversation with chums. I shall start:
Audi A6 “Company Director” special edition
Sexual Harassment Grey, with Nappa leather interior in Expensefiddle Black. Standard satnav pre-loaded with locations of secluded carparks and cheap roadside hotels. 3 year servicing, road tax and forensic interior cleaning package.
Audi A6 “Company Director” special edition
Sexual Harassment Grey, with Nappa leather interior in Expensefiddle Black. Standard satnav pre-loaded with locations of secluded carparks and cheap roadside hotels. 3 year servicing, road tax and forensic interior cleaning package.
Range Rover V8 Supercharged Chelsea Edition.
Special colour - Bellend Blue metallic. Custom holder for oversize sunglasses. 20 inch "Kerbcrawler" alloy wheels. Rear parking assist automatically set to sound alarm at 2cm from obstruction. One single seat in the back, for the child to be driven to school every morning. Sat nav preprogrammed with Waitrose and coke dealers.
Special colour - Bellend Blue metallic. Custom holder for oversize sunglasses. 20 inch "Kerbcrawler" alloy wheels. Rear parking assist automatically set to sound alarm at 2cm from obstruction. One single seat in the back, for the child to be driven to school every morning. Sat nav preprogrammed with Waitrose and coke dealers.
Lamborghini Aventador "Arab Prince"
Chrome finish. Number plate mounting points deleted. Teflon coated windscreen, so parking tickets cannot stick. Very low gearing for immense noise at town speeds, maximum speed 50mph. (Car's maximum ever speed 45mph (in first gear) around Knightsbridge). Hardpoints for mounting tie-downs for transport on private airliner. Hidden storage for very expensive alcohol and drugs. More hidden storage for large denomination banknotes for paying overzealous officials throughout the world. Lamborghini special "Mechanical Sympathy" Service pack: new clutch every 2000 miles, Free engine rebuilds every 6000 miles, 3 free Russian hookers a month.
Chrome finish. Number plate mounting points deleted. Teflon coated windscreen, so parking tickets cannot stick. Very low gearing for immense noise at town speeds, maximum speed 50mph. (Car's maximum ever speed 45mph (in first gear) around Knightsbridge). Hardpoints for mounting tie-downs for transport on private airliner. Hidden storage for very expensive alcohol and drugs. More hidden storage for large denomination banknotes for paying overzealous officials throughout the world. Lamborghini special "Mechanical Sympathy" Service pack: new clutch every 2000 miles, Free engine rebuilds every 6000 miles, 3 free Russian hookers a month.
Subaru Forester Angry Farmer Edition
Comes from the dealer already caked in mud and filth, and mismatched tyres. Special geometry and tracking means that it crabs slightly, always in the middle of the road. Various lights disconnected, auto flash function for anyone daring to overtake. Delivered with accessories - namely gun cabinet and one scared looking black labrador.
Comes from the dealer already caked in mud and filth, and mismatched tyres. Special geometry and tracking means that it crabs slightly, always in the middle of the road. Various lights disconnected, auto flash function for anyone daring to overtake. Delivered with accessories - namely gun cabinet and one scared looking black labrador.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Monday 13th February 14:54
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