The King of PH.

[nervous]

Its high time we had a King. it seems only reasonable. Ted is after all God, and Twinners is the Pope, so we really should have a King. The king could then answer all questions on 'which luxury barge etc' by cutting the villages new born in half. or something. anyway, it'd be cool to be the king.

May i suggest that we assess and appoint our king purely on his PH value: not with litmus paper, but on his addiction to the motorised vehicle.

Heres how I think we should do it:

number of cars owned - number of years you've legally been allowed to drive for = pistonhead index

The highest positive number will therefore be the person most stoopid for cars and therefore should rightly be our leader.

Ill go first.

Ive had 22 cars, and Ive been allowed to legally drive for 16 years, giving me a PH index of 6.

now you.

[nervous]

XJSJohn said:

11 cars 14 years ... PH Index of 3

What about motorbikes?

sorry thats -3.

no motorbikes. the king cant be a gayer.

Edited by nervous on Tuesday 13th February 18:48

[nervous]

rich 36 said:

And what might your role be?


(nervy)

Edited by rich 36 on Tuesday 13th February 18:48

probably jester.

unless i win, in which case, all will die. obviously.

apart from you lover

[nervous]

percy flage said:

A better equation would be:

(number of cars owned x cubic capacity)/years legally allowed to drive.

I think.

gets complicated though, doesnt it? for instance, do you round up to 4 litres, or use 3996 cc?

too much room for error, in my humble O.

[nervous]

zoidberg said:

8 cars - 12 years = -4

Don't mean to p1ss on your proverbial bonfire, hijack your thread, call you names, or poke you in the eye, but would a cars per year ratio be a better measure?

Me: 12/8 = 1.5
You: 16/22 = 0.72

Closest to zero is King?

typical ph, always with the opinions, never with the answers.

cant we just play the game my way and get on with it?

[nervous]

GTRene said:

lol good item...
oke here I come, I've had together with my latest car the Hartge, 117 cars owned registered on my name and driven myself, so not the girlfriend cars those were all my cars...
I've driven licenced from 18 now I'm 44 so more then 25 years..

117 cars with the car I have today

25 years drivers license

GTRene

Edited by GTRene on Tuesday 13th February 18:50

are you in car sales? if so, i reckon thats cheating. if not, looks like we have a new king already.

[nervous]

magic torch said:

touching cloth said:

magic torch said:

-10

It's shit being old isn't it Oldy!

Yeah, I'd much rather be fat.

fat and old. give him his dues.

[nervous]

well, thats that then. King Rene Wins.

as you were people.

sorry, King rene should really be saying that.

[nervous]

zoidberg said:

when its your game, you get to chose, ok?

dont upset the King: hes prone to smoteing.

[nervous]

jimbeaux said:

Can I be the Ambassador; I can do diplomacy....you cocks!

[nervous]

morningside said:

-15
I think.... I have lost count how many Minis and Rover V8's Ive had.

if a lot, then either youre really old or youve misunderstood.

[nervous]

ps since King rene has clearly drubbed us with his score, lets keep this going as other positions in the throneroom.

next highest score = queen.

next after that = wizard

next after that = evil advisor chap

lowest score = groom of the stool.

[nervous]

johnnymaestro said:

What about PM or Prez?

ok, theyre in there, just above groom of the stool.

[nervous]

BossCerbera said:

nervous said:

lowest score = groom of the stool.

If ever there was an impetus to buy more cars, it's the risk of earning that title. That's shit that is.

[nervous]

danger mouse said:

I think we should list the cars too as some cars are more "PH" than their swept volume might suggest, and might qualify some pretenders to the throne for a viva on their PHI score.

ie. I have had to (proper) mini's, both only 998cc, and both within 2 years of driving licencehood (I learnt in one of them!) but I'm certain they should add up to and better index than 0 or 2 (at time of purchase of the second one IYSWIM) depending on which way you do the scoring.

I'll hold fire listing all of my old bangers until there there is consensus on this. All I will say at this point is I'm sure I'm not the only one here who had owned a few in-betweeners which are far to to list in the "My Cars" section of the site.

Besides surely any true King should be able to trace his lineage back directly to Petrol Ted.

My scores would either be: 7-10 = -3
...or... (7*10.1)/11 = 6.42727272727272727272727272727273

...depending on method.

I prefer the second, but wonder if there should an element that is defined by your involvent on PH its self... Multipler for no. of posts or months on the boards.

Just a thought.

oh come on, just play along. its just for fun. theres no need for spreadsheets.

all cars owned count. i for instance have included my mahindra marksman

[nervous]

ok, so were agreed. for this silly game, weve all got many theories on the maths of the subject that we'd prefer to discuss than the actual output?

excellent. wake me up when were done. and to think people think were nerds.

[nervous]

silverback mike said:

74 cars in 10 years. Mind you, this is both my wife and I.. I kid you not, and even worse I have written them all down.

how many just for you mikey?

[nervous]

Captain Muppet said:

Besides, if you have a Miura you have everything.

Those little fins in the bonnet grill - each of them is slightly different to the one next to it.

lime green muira = heaven.

heaven = a place where ill never go.

a place where ill never go = liverpool.

therefore, all muiras are liverpool.

[nervous]

2 sMoKiN bArReLs said:

that is to say, what are the perks going to be, not the geordie way it reads

divvana.

[nervous]

Captain Muppet said:

Hey Nervy - I think you need bonus points for a multipage spread in Evo.

unfortunatley that means ill get points too. do you really want that?