Back to the Shed!

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Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Thursday 16th January 2020
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Following on from Retroste's thread, I thought I'd give a rundown of my own shed exploits, such as they are.

In fact, I am not new to shedding, having been the proud-ish previous owner of one of PH's very own Sheds of the Week - https://www.pistonheads.com/news/ph-features-sheds...

I can't claim to be the originator of the hilarious advert, although I think it was a good pastiche of my own advert singing the praises of a fundamentally flawed design. In fact, when the buyer left my house the rear numberplate fell off as he pulled off my drive!

One of my pictures of the shed.



As you can see, when I had it, it was actually rather tidy.

Anyway, onto the other shedding. I'll give a brief rundown of some of the cars, some have bigger stories which I will elaborate on in later posts if there is the interest... or I'll waffle on anyway.

He's a few of the sheds of recent times...

First up is the BMW E34 530i/A. Total dog of a car, but running and driving, and somehow MOTd when I bought it. It has terminal rot in the back end, way beyond repairing even now the prices of these are going up. I bought it for the engine to put into a classic car, and for other bits to aid my 540i/6 stay on the road.



As I said, terminal rot. Both sills are like this, as is most of the rear wings, boot floor etc. but not bad for £350.



Next up is my Citroen AX GT rally car. Bought on a bit of a whim, along the lines of 'I've got £750 cash burning a hole in my pocket. What car can I buy, transport home, repair and insure in that budget?', so armed with my favourite Scotch and the missus out with her friends for the night I got on eBay...

The seller was not sure it would get through an MOT easily having been off the road for a number of years and stored outside. I gave it a check over, took it for MOT and it only needed one brake pipe replacing. Result. I used it as my daily driver for about 6 months, as the heater was fantastic, and on rally tyres it gripped very well in the snow! I even did a few rallies in it. After a while I got bought and put it up for sale. it took a while, but eventually it sold to a local guy who is planning to upgrade it to stage spec.



Next up is 'Cliopatra' - a Clio 172, sold as non-running spares or repair. I bought it to 'fill a trailer' I was trying to buy at an auction. Numpty here won the Clio and not the trailer... anyway, called a friend up who'd just taken VR and therefore I knew was free. I gave it a wash, took for MOT and it failed on discs, pads and a broken coil spring. Not bad, and cheap fixes. Anyway, on the way back from the MOT the dephaser packed in... NOT easy and cheap to fix. many many pounds later I've nearly finished it. Bloody thing.



Next shed is one I've had for a VERY long time, back when these were still 100% shed. E30 318iS, picked up for a few hundred quid... and a few hundred miles away too. Advertised as a non-runner due to a knackered fuel pump. Luckily, there was someone down the road from me with a nearly new fuel pump for sale for £20. How serendipitous. However, what the seller 'forgot' to say was that the car had been broken into, the iS specific lip was missing... oh, and it had been shunted in the back corner, so one side of the car was an inch shorter than the other. regardless of all this, I fell in love with the car, and now I'm (slowly) restoring it with a friend into a full FIA spec race car.






Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Thursday 16th January 2020
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Next shed is my Triumph 2000 Mk2 Estate. It was at the right price, and having just sold a car, I had some space... and this was for sale for the same price as the other car I'd sold... as the tow truck was going that way anyway I figured it was worth a punt.

So, it's not perfect... far from it, but it runs and drives okay. I've just had the radiator repaired on it as the header and bottom tanks were both split. The fuel cap is locked with no key... and it's a bit rusty. Panels are like rocking horse poo for these, but there is a guy in Wales who has started having them remanufactured. It may mean waiting 6 months for the panels, but it's either that or nothing.

Strange, picture won't upload of that one...

Next shed was this Fiat 126. I had no intention of getting one of these, but it was available locally with no interest. I went to look at it and found all four brakes were stuck on hard and the engine didn't run. I negotiated a price for it and set about recovering it. Dragging it over the guys Cotswold stone driveway, uphill was not fun. We ended up using washing up liquid to slide it up the ramps as the tyres ripped apart on the gravel. I did a bit of work on it, but never fell in love with it, so I moved it on to someone that did want it.



Next shed was this Mk1 Eunos, again, for sale locally. it was out of MOT and didn't run, but I took a punt on it. As you can see in the photos the front wing is stoved in, so I have bought a replacement and fitted it over Christmas. I'm in the process of doing a few other things, but as it's been off the road for a few years it may need more than just a light service... we'll see. Hope to have it done for summer.



A shed from a few years ago. Triumph Acclaim bought for not much money (when they were worth even less than today!), non-runner, but came with a replacement engine. Spent a few weekends pulling the old engine out, cleaning the engine bay, fitting the new one and so forth. I loved this car... then took it for MOT and on the way there the 'good replacement' engine started knocking really badly. I fell out of love with it at this point. When I got back to my workshop I did the longest (one wheel) burn out it's ever seen, a good 30ft long. most impressive. At that point I shut the door and went home, and didn't go back for a few weeks. Hoping it was just a bad dream, when I got back I started it up, and sure enough the engine was still knocking. At that point I'd had enough, pulled the tow bar off which I sold for half of what I paid for the whole car, then sold the car for double what I paid for it. not ideal, but not a bad result.





Another shed from many years ago was this Triumph Vitesse 6. One owner from new, and they were going to scrap it as it was in the way of their new drive way being laid. My ex-boss and I trundled up to Nottingham to get it. My boss became the next owner, and on the way home we struck a deal for me to buy it, with him doing some work for me etc. Anyway, unfortunately it got vandalised and I lost heart a bit. I ended up breaking it for spares, with the engine going into another Vitesse I'd bought which the crank had broken in.



The ultimate in sheddery! 'Found' locally, where it had been laid up for a number of years after the owner went to China. I agreed to pay £50 for it if I could get it running in their garage, if it didn't run then it was £20. At that, it's worth a punt I thought! Amazingly with a jump pack and a clean of the battery leads it fired straight up... and stunk of chips. Surprisingly the old battery held charge, so that was a result. A friend was in need of a cheap run about, so we came to a deal that if he took it for MOT he could use the car and I'd pay for any repairs that were needed. It wasn't much in the end, a front spring, a seat belt and a few minor things. I managed to get all of it from the local breakers for a few notes. He used it for a few months, and then got the car he actually wanted. I offered it to my missus who decided she didn't like 'Frogzilla' as he became known.

With laquer peel on almost every panel, and a bit of a dint on the passenger side I didn't expect much, and got £350 for it from someone about 100 miles away. In some ways it's the shed I miss the most!



I've got a few others to add, but the next one is quite a tale, so will have to wait for another day... or later...

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 17th January 2020
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DanG355 said:
"armed with my favourite Scotch and the missus out with her friends for the night I got on eBay..."

This is how the best car buying stories start!
Oddly enough it's not only the only car I've bought when using the power of Lagavulin. The 318iS was also bought on a night out... At the time all my friends were into clubbing and I am very much more an 'armchair and open fireplace in a country pub' kind of guy. So, I found an oddly sticky sofa in the corner of the club and stuck a bid on. I have another E30, a 320i Coupe that I bought for £1010. I put the same bid on the iS, expecting to be outbid, but I won it for very little money. Cue the next day, and somewhat hungover, I jumped into my mates Defender with him and chugged up to Bradford from Warwickshire to collect it.

There have been a few others, but I forget them now.

For the record, I'm not an alcoholic! It just so happens that two of my vices go together very well; sippin' whisky and buying cars!

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 17th January 2020
quotequote all
As the Volvo seems to have a bit of love I'll post a few more pictures and info about that.

So, whilst I was at Uni I had a Triumph Vitesse as my daily driver - I still have it, but to me a car is a shed if it costs less than a grand. The Vitesse, known as Piggle, cost me a smidge more than that. Here's a picture of it anyway for your enjoyment.



So, with the prospect of a year long placement looming, and moving to the other side of the country for it, I decided I wanted something else that could munch the miles a bit more comfortably. Whilst getting encouragement to look at something sensible, I decided to go for a Volvo. However, I chose the worst car Volvo ever made - the 480. I believe it was originally conceived as a DAF, and when Volvo bought DAF they decided to continue with the project.

To the best of my knowledge Volvo/DAF enlisted the help of other companies to improve the driving experience. Lotus were involved in the dynamics, and whilst the car rolled like hell, it stuck like glue, even in the snow. Porsche were involved in the tuning of the Turbo, and whilst it wasn't the most powerful car ever, it was pokey enough. Where this went wrong though was RENAULT did the electronics... and it showed.

Anyway, as i wanted to get to my destinations vaguely on time, a turbo model was called for, which even back in... 2009/2010 it was rare, and even rarer now. We found one in Peterborough at a dealers. When we got there we found the roof was dented and the windscreen was badly cracked, but we got the price knocked down from £1200 to £850, bringing it into my own category of shedding. The car still had MOT, so I drove it as it was for a few days then got the windscreen changed on insurance.

As a side note, for some reason, when we got to the dealer my Dad insisted we were there to buy some stty 1.5 Civic with fake chrome stuck all over it and mismatching wheels... That was even more of a dog, so god knows why he thought it was a good idea.

Anyway, the Volvo never broke down on me, although it did need some work during my ownership. Rear shocks, front lower arms, belts, water pump, speedo, Infocentre, radiator etc all got changed during my ownership. I did have it for around 2.5 years though, and I put many thousands of miles on it, so it seems a fair amount of work given the cost, age, mileage etc.

The one thing that always bugged me was the fuel gauge was a column of LCD bars... it would always show only the top half of the tank had fuel in, until it was nearly empty when it would show it was full before briefly flashing the red 'fill now' bar at me.

Overall I loved this car, and it was great fun, but very thirsty. Even on a cruise I was lucky to get 17mpg out of it... although maybe in hindsight I had a particularly heavy right foot when I was 20... I'd probably have another one if I found the right car, but there are other shed itches to scratch first.










Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 17th January 2020
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More shedding history... Only a few more to go now, honest!

Following on from the Volvo, whilst I was on my year in industry in Suffolk, working for a well known originally-from-Essex-now-from-Leeds plastic sports car company, my mechanicing, fabrication and importantly fault diagnosing skills improved dramatically. With a new found level of confidence, i decided to find myself another toy-shed. With limited means available to me, but thankfully my father having given up the garage at the family home for me, I could only afford to buy something 'a bit st', but could at least tuck it away in the garage for the time I was in Suffolk.

Cue the usual do of getting on eBay and seeing what was available.

In a small town near Coventry was a quite tidy looking Triumph 2000 Mk2 Post Facelift, in an odd shade of yellow, with Some Brown and Some Black interior trim option... there were even two different shades of brown, as well as the black.



I asked the usual questions of the seller, said that I was in Suffolk but visiting family that weekend and could pick it up on Saturday. I made him an offer on the car, which I was surprised he took. I was expecting it to open negotiation, and we'd finish at around a grand, but he just accepted outright.

As luck would have it, a friend was free and gave me a lift to collect it - when we arrived the car was as good as described, if not better, and there was half a container of spares the seller hadn't mentioned; 2 sets of doors, a NOS boot lid, the rest of both the black and the brown interiors, some servicing spares etc.

I had fun in it, but it always seemed to lack poke - I didn't expect it to set the road on fire, but I had hoped for a bit more. A bit of a tune up had her running sweeter. I drove her a lot over Christmas for the two weeks I was home, it was great fun in the snow and very predictable drifts too.



Unfortunately circumstances meant it had to get moved on, as I was only visiting home once every 2 months, so every time I got there I'd spend Saturday fixing it, in order to drive it on Sunday. All sorts of little fixes that would culminate in a full days work - split coolant pipes, stuck brakes, bad oil leaks, electrical problems etc.

I ended up listing the car for sale for what it was advertised for when I bought it. Within a few days a guy from Bournemouth came and bought it, then a week later it was relisted again for double what he bought it for.

It would be a few more years before I'd have another 2000, but that was an itch I had to scratch, and I'm now on my 4th one...










Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 17th January 2020
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Other cars I still need to add at some point;

Mini Cooper
Volvo 740 Turbo
Triumph Herald 13/60
BMW 540i/6
Peugeot 207

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 17th January 2020
quotequote all
SVX said:
I owned a '94 L plate 480 turbo in red, with the manual boost upgrade. Went way faster than it had a right to. Your shed history is interesting, you just need a jag or a ropey S-class for a winning hand biggrin
Was this your Volvo SVX?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE-r5WwUoMA

My lodger has bought an S-Type 3L for £470... so we have a shed Jag in the household...



Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 17th January 2020
quotequote all
One more shed post for today... although not the end of my shedding activity.

An old colleague of mine really wanted a Mini, and as I had been smoking round in a Herald for a few years I offered to go and look at one with him. He decided not to do this, and went and bought one anyway. He asked me to come round and appraise it so I took my trusty screwdriver and pokey hammer.

It. Was. fked.

I near enough cut the front wings off with the screw driver. It was all pretty bad. The combination of the number plate and the fact it was so holey led to it having the name 'Gesuhs' pronounced Jesus.

Realising that he was never going to be able to get this done he weighed up his options and put it up for sale. I ended up buying it for a few hundred quid, which was probably a fair price for it, as this was at least 12 years ago now I'd guess.



As you can see, outwardly it doesn't look terrible, but once we removed the interior etc we realised how bad it was. Patched on patches on patches... and i don't mean the fantastic song by Clarence Carter. We came to an agreement that my colleague would put the seats back in, and wire up the lights etc, and we would tow it behind my mates van for the few miles back to my Dad's place. This was the start of the farce... I was night time, so we had the engine running to help with steering and brakes, and for the alternator to charge the battery up etc. It had no headlights fitted, and near enough no glass or tail lights. We got to the first set of traffic lights and the fking tow rope snapped!!

The masking tape sign was partially true for some of the journey!

I had no way to tell my mate driving the van that this had happened, so all I could do was try to get it into gear and drive after him, hoping he'd stop.

Further on down the road, he took a wrong turn, and I dived off down the lanes, forgetting I'd been driving by his tail lights for the last few miles. Pitch blackness. st. I remembered there was a layby on the side of the road, which I tried to steer into by feel alone. If I'd have got it wrong I'd have been parked in the brook! Realising he'd gone wrong, my mate then pulled into the layby, and I drove the rest of the way (all of another 2 or 3 miles) using his headlights. Unfortunately we'd only chucked a few litres of fuel in the tank, expecting to only idle the engine for the journey. At this point the peppy, but poorly timed 1275cc engine started to cough and splutter, so I just booted it back for the last half a mile! Dad couldn't stop laughing when I arrived. It reminded him of when he'd bought a Ginetta G4 project car when he was about 20, and they flat towed the bare rolling chassis back home with no body attached, using a broom handle to stop it rolling into the tow car!

Anyway, I then got stuck into further stripping down the Mini... it was even worse than thought!





Even the speakers had been hacked in badly.





I ended up replacing a lot of the panels, or letting in new metal where required.



I gave it a rattle can paint job, and it ended up not looking too bad for a first ever attempt at resto (My Herald had already had the body done when I bought it).



Circumstances changed for me as I was off to Uni, so needed a bit of spare cash, and I knew I wouldn't have the time to work on the car. I put it up for sale and had a few stupid offers, my favourite one being a lad from Scotland saying "it will cost me more to come and get the car than you're advertising it for, so can I have it for free?" I politely but firmly pointed out to him that his proximity to the car was of no concern of mine.

In the end I sold it to an old school friend who was looking for a project car to do up with his step-dad. They did a much better job than I did, and fully restored the whole thing, although it did take them about 6 years, and I had it for about 2 months... It went from this strange semi-pearl green to red and white. It looks amazing, and is a credit to their workmanship, labour and dedication.


Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Monday 20th January 2020
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So, next instalment of my shedding adventures goes a little like this…

Back in 2018, my partner and I were in a position to buy our first house, and knowing what other friends had experienced, a ‘load lugger’ was in order. The people we were buying the house from had rented it out for at least 10 years, so they were leaving much of the furniture on there, and they used the garage as storage, so that was full of junk from their other houses etc. Knowing we would have a large number of tip/charity shop runs, I figured it would be as cheap to buy a car as to rent a van for a few weekends. Man-maths at it’s absolute finest. Thankfully, my partner agreed with me… or at least, cared so little she didn’t care how the junk was moved.
My shopping list covered a few basics; big, old enough to have on my classic policy, RWD and manual. Preferably with enough power to pull the skin off a rice pudding, or with enough modifications available to make it do so… that led me down one path. An old Volvo tank.

As we all know, it’s very hard to beat an old Volvo estate for pure ‘st lugging’ ability. So, I did my usual thing of getting on ebay and seeing what was available. For only a few hundred quid I found a Volvo 740 Turbo estate, stripped of it’s interior for extra loadspace. Result.

A few things of note… the car was not standard.
It was painted flat green.
It was lowered.
It had a side pipe with no silencer.
It had some stickers dotted over it.
It had a huge shark mouth down the side.
IT WAS AWESOME.







It was also in Edinburgh. Balls – long way from Warwickshire. 670 mile round trip in fact.
But undeterred, I went home and asked the other half if she’d like to celebrate our house purchase with a weekend break in Edinburgh… she was up for it! I emailed the seller to ask a few questions, and he seemed very genuine, and a huge fan of Volvo estates, saloons and Coupes.

With the bidding hovering at the £400 mark, I was smitten. I always wanted a car with a mental paint job, but didn’t have the guts to do it to one of my existing cars. Having it ready done removed that pain. I wasn’t free at the end of the auction, so I stuck a bid in and waited to see what happened. I came back to find I’d won the beautiful Turbo Tank. Time to plan how to get to Edinburgh.



The seller was really nice, and agreed to drive the car out to our hotel near the airport, but it would have to be early in the morning due to other engagements. Fine by me. The plan was set for a mental and bloody expensive weekend…
Thursday am – Visit the solicitors, sign paperwork, formally buy the house.
Thursday pm – Find a pub, celebrate a bit, then get the train to Birmingham airport, fly to Edinburgh.
Friday am – seller delivers Volvo to hotel, then spend the day visiting the city.
Saturday pm – Cruise down to our friends near Bolton, arriving late evening.
Sunday – Carry on back to Warwickshire.
Monday am – Collect parents for a weeks canal boat holiday – nice and relaxing after a busy weekend.

But, of course it wasn’t that simple. It is NEVER that simple.
All the paperwork went well, and we got to the airport on time.
Nearing our time to depart, and still no gate, at around 6pm or so. 9pm. No info. 10pm. Nothing. Had I got the right day??? Eventually, with the airport emptying, there was finally a gate announcement. Over 5 hours late. The bleeding flight only takes 45 minutes! Boarding went fine, although everyone was very cranky, as you’d expect.
Around 20 minutes into the flight, so around half way there, the plane shuddered and noticeably slowed… the pilot came onto the intercom “Ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry to announce we will have to turn back to Birmingham airport. One of the engines has failed due to low oil level. Whilst we can fly perfectly safely on ONE engine, protocol dictates we return to our departure airport.”

HOLY. FING. st. I looked out the window and sure enough the engine wasn’t turning – how exciting! Was this Volvo not only going to kill me, but my partner as well?? She was reading the in-flight magazine more thoroughly than I’ve ever seen anyone read about something they don’t care about, in a destination we’re not going to, or how you can get an excellent deal on some knock-off perfume. Right now it wasn’t perfume we were smelling – fear and panic-farts can overpower anything.
We landed safely, but with it now being well past mid-night there were no other planes at the airport for us to swap onto, and not even any trains running. Cue lots of angry queues. What an ordeal. We got a form for making a claim, and then got a taxi back home. Unfortunately I didn’t have the number for the seller of the Volvo, so all I could do was message him on eBay and hope he would accept my sincere apology, and that the plane losing an engine really wasn’t just a messers excuse! I also explained that due to our holiday plans I wouldn’t be able to come up again for at least a week.

One side note here, due to the flight not reaching it’s destination, it counted as a failure, which meant I could claim 250 Euros each for me and my partner as well as a full refund… so actually, the Volvo really only cost me about £200.



As luck would have it, a friend was on holiday around the Edinburgh area, and whilst we were chatting during the week it transpired that the alternator on his Opel Manta had failed, so he was stuck. A-ha, thought I! A plan formed, whereby he would find the seller, collect the Volvo, which I’d pay for by bank transfer, and take it to his house near Bolton, then after my holiday I’d go up and collect it.

So, some time later than expected, I finally got my Turbo Tank. What a machine! It was great fun, pops and bangs on the over run, easy to get sideways, but controllable due to it not being the first barge I’d been in that week!

Sure enough she served her purpose of dragging stuff everywhere, and all was going well…

For a while.

One evening I was drag racing my mate in his V70 D5 (a very slow drag race mind you), and I was doing well, the car had been making good power, and felt nice when all of a sudden ‘DONGDONGDONGDONGKLONKERKLONK-KLANK’. With that, she was toasted.

I never got round to dissecting the engine, but I think it was a big end spinning or similar. I just found one from a breakers yard and bought it complete, changed the wiring loom over, and a few other nice bits, and spent some money on it too – new engine and gearbox mounts, new coolant pipes, fresh oil, filter, plugs, dizzy caps etc. I also remade the side exhaust including a factory silencer, flex joint and V-band clamps. just to take some of the layers out of it and make it a bit less droney on motorways.

Sadly, time was called on the Tank when the MOT tester threw his book at it, and without the time to repair it, I put it up for sale. It found its way down to Twickenham, with the new owner planning to put it back to a more standard looking car.

Turbo Tank, I miss you, but glad you’re living again.


Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Thursday 23rd January 2020
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More high class shedding action is happening, next addition is arriving on Saturday, with another one lined up for February...

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 24th January 2020
quotequote all
Ha well, this one really is a shed... it's been used as one too!

It's a Triumph Herald 13/60. Been off the road for YEARS. Apparently it's 'recently' had a rear brake rebuild, a stainless steel exhaust and it runs and drives.

Clearly it's in need of some work before MOT.

I'm not sure on the plan yet - it's being delivered on Saturday, so will be able to go through it more then and decide what to do with it.



Not the rustiest car ever...

But certainly been used as a shed. Hopefully the interior won't be too damaged from having stuff piled in it.


Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Monday 27th January 2020
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Thanks for your words of encouragement, and a few ‘bookmarkers’, makes it worth telling the stories.

I have to say, that Mini sounds fantastic, and not like the cheap turd I had!

I don’t have much time for an update, so only a short story.

This was my third Triumph 2000 or ‘Lemons’ as they are also known to some guys locally. I’ve heard mixed reasons of why the guys round here call them as such, either back in the day they had poor build quality and so were Lemons, which I don’t think is the case, being as the 2000s were some of Canleys better efforts. The other reason, is they ‘look like the kind of car and old guy sucking a lemon would drive’.



Either way, I love them. Quite big, but handle well and go well too with a bit of tuning.

For those not ‘in the know’, there are a few main types of ‘2000’ as follows;
They either came with a 2l six pot, or a 2.5l six pot, which later in life was developed into the straight six engine in the Rover SD1. There were only two body styles from the factory, a saloon and an estate, although people have home built their own pick-ups, two doors etc too. The Mk1 shape with the pointy nose cone is quite rare, and the estates even rarer as these were hand built shells by Carbodies, which later became known as London Taxis International (built in Coventry… not London). The Mk2 shape has the flat front and headlamps in the grille design and is more common.
Anyway, as often happens I wasn’t looking for another car, when this popped up for sale on Facebook in the Triumph 2000 owners page, and was only a few miles down the road, so I arranged to go and have a look at it. It had been laid up in a damp garage for years and years. It was for sale bereft of engine, gearbox and much of the interior. However, it came with two sets of glass, and most of the removed trim was in the boot. Along with lots of mice nests.





I cleared the lot out, and gave it a good vac out. It was a grim job, but it showed that actually the car was pretty good. The arches, sills, chassis and floor were all good, with only some of the hand built bit at the back being crusty. As it was missing it’s engine and gearbox it got me thinking about building it as a custom. Underneath the years of muck the paint wasn't bad either.





In my mind, this is how it was going to be built;
- Original yellow paint work, BUT with a very pale green pinstripe outlining glitterflake emerald scollops on the sides, bonnet and roof. Original green tinted glass too.
- Interior would be trimmed in cactus leather (original Triumph colour) with emerald green carpets etc. The front would be turned into a bench seat, possibly with Mexican blanket highlights.
- Suspension would remain mostly as intended, but with air bags for a ground scraping ride.
- Engine would be the 3l M60 engine with 5 speed auto box from the E34 mentioned at the start of the thread. This would feed out to straight through side pipes, with a butterfly valve to muffled pipes under the car, but using the same exhaust exits at the back of the sills.
- Wheels would be chromed TR6 deep dish steelies.
- Brakes would probably use bits from the BMW E34 too to ensure the stopping power matched the going power.
Sadly though, after owning the car for many years I realised I was never going to get round to it in the time frame I was hoping, with a list of other cars, including a TR6 waiting in the wings. It was also gradually losing some of it’s bits to my other 2000 when things were in need of replacement, and I didn’t want to end up stripping it right down.
I stuck it up for sale and within 2 days it had sold to a chap in France who paid the full asking price and giving it a much drier home than I will…



That leaves me with a 3L V8 sitting around looking for a home… I wonder where I’ll end up putting it…


Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Tuesday 28th January 2020
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A short update again...

Having sold the Volvo, I found myself with some space outside the shed, and a small amount of folding money. Or rather I was 'expecting' those two things to happen, as I agreed to buy this vehicle before the Volvo had gone. As it happened, this car wasn't THAT far from where the Volvo 740 Turbo was going to it's new home... so it made sense that I'd buy it.

Sell one crusty and broken estate, and buy another one for exactly the same price, with more wrong with it? I know, bloody lunacy.

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/7883...

It's another 2000 Estate! This being a Mk2 Pre-facelift. If you look back at my first yellow 2000 saloon, you'll see the grille on that was black plastic, the ride height was a smidge taller, and a few other minor differences. Also the post-facelift bumpers have rubber strips on them...

Anyway, this is the pre-facelift, and arguably a better looking car, and far more modern than the Mk1 2000s.

This particular example is a 2l with manual overdrive gearbox. Royal Blue outside and various blues inside. It runs and drives, although does need some work. It's had some rough repairs before, and is missing some bits of trim, but luckily most of the rare estate parts are there.

It appears to be mostly solid on the chassis rails etc, although the bottoms of the front wings and front valance are a touch crusty, although, these panels are on order for it now from Lloyd Reed at South Wales Triumphs.

https://scontent-lhr8-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/7860...

When I backed it off the flatbed the engine sounded fking horrible, but ran smoothly at the same time. I recognised the sound of failed fan mounts! Sure enough when grabbing the fan by hand (AFTER SWITCHING THE ENGINE OFF!) I could rock the fan backwards and forwards by a fair bit, and rotationally had around 10 degrees of play. Upon investigation it seemed that someone had been in there before and attempted a repair by bodging more washer in to clamp the plastic fan itself, not the bushes. A few quid later and I had a set of fan bushes, lock tabs and bolts winging their way to me.

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/7722...

To make life easier for myself I also pulled the radiator out, which on these cars is pretty easy, with only 4 bolts holding them to the front panel. Or in this cars case, 2 bolts and some zip ties... They just use panel nuts so they do often seize in and then rip out when trying to remove. Luckily, you can also get to the other side through the grille easily. When removing the rad I noticed that it was pretty damp at the bottom, and a bit fluffy - as I was taking a radiator for refurbishment anyway for another car, I thought I'd get it checked. Sure enough it had blown, and in a big way. Every single swage in the top and bottom tank had split and ballooned a bit. Of course, this means that there's a good chance the head gasket has gone.

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/r270...

Before refitting the radiator I'll do a compression check and a blow-down test too.

I will be keeping an eye out for some interior parts too, as the front seats are in brushed nylon, but the rear seat and door cards are blue vinyl. Also, the wood cappings are missing from the doors, but I have a spare set. At the same time the rear woods in the boot have been painted with Ronseal (FFS), so I may redo all the wood including the dash as it's a bit cracked.

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/7849...

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/7868...

Other than that, plans remain a mystery even to me on this car. I may try to tidy it up a bit, and get some MOT on it, then move it on, or smoke around in it over the summer.

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Wednesday 29th January 2020
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To be fair, you can still get a decent E34 for not much money. The 518 - 520 can often be picked up for less than a grand, 525 for 2 for a good one, 530 - 535 around 3k. The 540's are getting towards M5 money now, so I'm glad I bought mine when I did! The 525TDS seem to be gaining a bit, but last year there was a tidy 525TDS Touring Manual and it went for something like £800.... anyway, on with the shedding;

Here’s a bit of a write up on the 318iS, I’ve already covered how I ended up purchasing it and collecting it, so I’ll just write about the car itself… which lets face it is what you lot are interested in, not which motorway services we stopped at…



So, it was bought as a fully road worthy, but non running car, and after replacing the fuel pump she was running again, and great fun to drive. A few old friends chipped in with the idea we’d build a track car out of it together, although for them it would be a learning experience too as they hadn’t done much in the way of maintenance before.
After spending some time ragging it round the lanes of Warwickshire and Oxfordshire we set about prepping it for track and tidying a few things up, like repainting the badly peeling boot spoiler, in my home rigged paint booth... or 'Dexter Kill Room' as it got called.





A lot of the bushes were on the shot side, so we decided to strip some of the suspension and brakes etc down too. We also gutted the interior, and that’s when the real problems started.



The sills on the drivers side were bunged up with chewing gum, the front corner was rusty, and the back corner had been shunted too. Not as straight as expected, or promised. The rear panel had obviously been replaced too, but then I found that it was not welded to the boot floor. We had chucked the steering rack in the boot to get it out of the way, which meant it was oily in there, cue the first injury of the project; I cleaned the oil out with brake cleaner, then whilst it dried I went off to have a brew and look at other pictures of E30s as inspiration. 20 minutes or so later I went back in to the garage, and went to stitch weld the floor and the rear panel together… BOOM. Huge mushroom cloud as the brake cleaner went up around me and under the welding mask. Lost all the hair off my arms, and singed that on my head… and I’m a long haired beardy type! A few minor blisters too. I got away with it lightly though.



We discussed colour schemes too. I really wanted to go for a classic ‘red over white and gold’ like the Lotus Elan Gold Leaf, although this is partially for sentimental reasons as my Dad had an Elan Sprint in that scheme back in the day, although he had the white over painted in red. Other options included the BMW Motorsport colours, and one guy even wanted it matt black with flames… that was vetoed fairly quickly as that would look ‘fking st’ on an E30…



I also remade the rear valance corners that had rotted out, and set about lightening the doors down for race use. I don’t think this lightening work is an issue for safety as the car will have a full FIA spec cage with door bars, so that will be the majority of the side impact structure.



We also sourced a new front panel from a local breakers yard and a front wing as the old ones were rotten and full of pud.



Next job was cutting out the sunroof cartridge as that clashed with the cage, which was designed for non-sunroof cars. We’ve also been making the cage supports for the floor, A pillars etc.



We currently have all the suspension off the car, and that’s going to be blasted and strengthened as required, but remain fundamentally stock, other than uprated dampers and springs etc. The engine is a fairly sought after unit, as the M42 twin cam. We have also sourced a Z3 1.9 ‘purple label’ steering rack for it. I also want to get rid of the spare wheel well and the lower section of the rear valance, although the one guy left in the project from the start is resistant to it due to polar moment of area meaning the floor will flex more… we need to work that out and if a strut brace will effect that.

Progress has been slow of recent times, with being tied up with other projects and my mate buying a house and getting married, free time is at a premium for both of us…. But we will get it done!

We also moved out of the shared house we were in and lost the use of the garage so the iS ended up going into storage for a few years, here it's next to my 320i Coupe which I've had for about 9 years now, but it cost me £1010 so it's £10 outside my 'shed' budget!


Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Thursday 6th February 2020
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A couple more rusty gears have been grinding away looking at a few cars that are available locally to me, and the following hair-brained scheme has been cooked up.

There is a Jaguar S-Type 3L Manual available nearby for not much money, MOT for a few months. A bit ropey but cheap. 240hp, revvy and fairly light V6.

There is also a BMW E30 2 door rolling shell missing it's engine and gearbox...

The BMW engines and the Jag engine are both front bowl sumps, with roughly even mounts. The M20 BMW engine they are pretty much in the middle of the engine, and on the Jag engine they are between cylinders 1 and 2 (or 1 and 3 depending on how they are counted).

Both cars are currently under the budget for me to include on this thread... A bit of me thinks this could be quite the weapon....

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Wednesday 26th February 2020
quotequote all
Sorry it's been a bit quiet of late. Due to various medical reasons much of my car buying, selling and fixing has been put on hold... however, as a quick update it looks like 'Cliopatra' the Clio 172 is off to a new home soon. I've lost more money on it than I'd care to admit thanks to the dephaser going pop. A friend has agreed to buy it off me as he's selling his Defender 110 XS so will have a fair chunk of cash. I have reminded him that he needs to ensure he doesn't use ALL the performance of the 172 like he did with his Defender or he might find a ditch... and unlike a Defender, the Clio is unlikely to drive back out again!

I have however added some very Japanese turdery to my collection of other multi-national turds. This time I've gone and found myself a first Generation Suzuki Vitara JX Soft-Top. It truly cements my heterosexual credentials.



It's a pretty tidy example really, having spent it's entire life in suburban Essex. I don't think it's ever seen any mud, nor been used on a field let along 'off road'. Thank fully there aren't too many signs of having been used for excessive dogging. It's covered around 78,000 miles, so from 1998 to now about 3500 a year. The first owners used it for fundays and Sundays.



Slightly amusingly, (and i do mean SLIGHTLY), my cousin was a school friend of the children of the first owners. Once time in passing my uncle said 'if you decide to sell the Vitara then let me know' - this was when it was around 2 years old. Years, and in fact, decades passed. he got a phone call out of the blue asking if Mike still lived there and would be be interested in buying the Vitara... 20 YEARS after expressing interest. Talk about playing the long game.



It had been pretty well looked after, with the MOT only ever pulling up things like a cracked number plate, brake light bulbs and wipers etc. Nothing serious. My uncle bought it for my other cousin, had 5 new tyres on it, a new battery, fully serviced, replaced the roof... and she didn't like it. Having spent a chunk of money on it, he kept it for a while and enjoyed thrumming around Woodford Green. However, over Christmas during a few Whiskies (Notice a theme here????) we negotiated that I would buy it off him. My initial offer of 23p, a packet of Jaffa Cakes and a big orange were turned down, and even when raised to a fiver and a bacon sandwich the offer was turned down. However, when he told me how much he wanted for it, I knew it matched up well to what I had saved up in my car fund, so I agreed to buy it at the asking price.

Two full months later I finally found the time to get the train down to London to collect it.



Happily, the old truck behaved very well on the drive back, even when sitting in stationary traffic for THREE HOURS on the M40, it didn't miss a beat. The CD player worked well, the heater is fantastic and it's pretty comfy, even if the seats are designed for a 5ft tall slim woman. The headrests remind me a bit of ET...

It's probably the slowest car I've ever owned, feeling slower than my old Herald. It's quite good fun although I've not got brave enough yet to properly chuck it into the corners.

Not too bad on fuel, I've only had it in 2wd mode so far, and even with sitting on the M40 idling away for ages it returned just shy of 30mpg.

Few bits it needs - it's got an emergency fuel cap that looks very old, so you get fuel fumes when the window is down (which is all the time so I can put my shoulder there, much like a Defender). Ordered a new one of them.

Plan is to make sure it's all good and then go down to visit the other halfs family on the Somerset / Dorset coast. Would be nice with the roof off in the summer, even if I would look like an obvious grockle!


Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Friday 28th February 2020
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My mate that's buying the Clio came down for a poke around it last night. Whilst it's been outside it's started having a strange electrical problem with lights doing very funky things... put the brakes on and the right hand indicators flash etc. Not sure if a connector block has got damp or something whilst it's been parked up, although he did find one of the rear light cluster connectors is a little funked up.

Also, he tried to change the lambda sensor but it was stuck in so blasted it with some penetrating oil... Maybe I'll finally get rid of that turd...

Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Tuesday 31st March 2020
quotequote all
Slightly behind the times here; I have been off work for a few weeks with a detached retina, so I have been enjoying the time away from the computer. However, having all this CoVid-19 thing spring up means that I'm not going to bother the NHS with my vision problems. They have enough on their plates, so I am now back to work and sitting at a computer 8 hours a day.

In my time off I've done some work on my white MX5, my partners E36 318Ti Compact, a Nissan S14 drift car and a very rare version of a Triumph Herald... The work isn't up to my usual standard as I have impaired depth perception, so welding isn't the easiest thing ever...



The S14 rear end is pretty crispy... well, actually the whole car is... So I decided to chop the whole lot out and make a repair section to weld in.



There is a lot of grot on this car, sills need fully repairing etc. I may start a separate thread about it though as this certainly doesn't fit into the 'cars under a grand thread' idea.

However, I have added to the shed collection! A friend from work saw me cruising around in the black Vitara and said they knew of one on a farm that had been languishing for a few years and put me in contact with the land owner. The truck has been parked up for a few years due to an immobiliser issue that the owner couldn't be bothered to fix. After sitting in the corner of a field full of sheep crap (but no sheep???) I wasn't certain how easily I'd be able to dig it out. In the end though after getting some air in the tyres she rolled okay. I used the black one to tow it, which it did fine even just in 2wd mode. My mate James from Jimmy P's Speed Shop came to help as it's his cuppa tea to do this.

Unfortunately the lock down has put paid to getting it back home in the near future, so it's sill waiting for me to turn up with a trailer!

But, without further ado, here are a few pictures of 'Frank' as I have named him... Frank stara the Suzuki Vitara.




Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Wednesday 6th May 2020
quotequote all
With the lock down in full force, and being on furlough, my car buying antics have slowed down... although my other post does detail me buying the 2nd most expensive car on my fleet, a Volvo V70 T6, so I have bought fewer cars, but more expensive ones.

Anyway, as this thread is about the cheap cars I have bought, this is my latest shed added to the fleet!

A beautiful 1996 Land Rover Discovery 3 door Commercial, 300TDi Manual.

It really is quite the turd... It was last taken for MOT on the 21st December 2018 and it failed on;

Nearside Inner Vehicle structure corroded
Nearside Rear Vehicle structure corroded
Offside Rear Vehicle structure corroded
Offside Rear brake pads worn down to wear indicator
Nearside Dipped Beam not working
Offside Dipped Beam not working
Nearside rear lamp not working
Nearside rear lens defective
Nearside washer blocked
Nearside wheel bearing excessive play
Front registration plate illegal
Sound deadening material insecure on bonnet
Service brake efficiency low
Offside front vehicle structure corroded
Oil leaks

Basically, it's pretty damn hammered.

However it has some good going for it - it's very local, and very cheap.
It has a set of five 'Freestyle' alloys on it in good condition, although I imagine the tyres are perished now.
Later R380 gearbox
Runs and drives fine

I think realistically this will end up as a breaker due to the amount of rot on it, and also the interior is a bit minging and the paint is very faded for a blue car. Almost like someone has painted it with diluted brake fluid!

Once I get the keys I'll have a good poke around it, but I think this is probably going to end up in the great scrapheap in the sky.

Here are what you all come here for; photos of old knackers.









Jonny-Jimbo

Original Poster:

294 posts

78 months

Thursday 7th May 2020
quotequote all
My intention with the Disco is still undefined as such - once the previous owner has arranged to get the keys to me I'll get it up on my 2 poster and see how bad the corrosion is. It has sat outside on that patch of mud since it failed it's last MOT, so I imagine it may have got a lot, lot worse.

We shall see.

You are correct, the 3dr Commercials are not common, but they are worth nothing. The 3 door isn't very practical for the size of car, and being a Commercial it does limit it's market. You can still pick up fairly solid ones for around a grand, tidy ones obviously a fair bit more.

This Disco won't be put down without a fighting chance though,