RE: New 5 Series

RE: New 5 Series

Tuesday 1st April 2003

New 5 Series

The wait is over - fat men of the world rejoice


Fat blokes seeking the latest in executive transport need wait no longer. BMW have introduced their new five series, targeted firmly at middle management fat blokes who can still waddle around without breaking into a sweat.

At launch the new cars will come with a choice of three engines from a 520i petrol engine capable of moving slim people about right through to the 530 diesle for plump lugging.

The new model uses the latest German technology including all-aluminium suspension, second-generation iDrive technology, adaptive headlights and Brake Force Display. Active Steering, Dynamic Drive Control and Active Cruise Control are also available.

BMW almost introduced a fly by wire steering system, but to avoid any friendly fire incidents it's compromised on a system that maintains a mechanical link between the front wheels and the steering wheel, and retains an ‘authentic’ steering feel for the driver.  The Active Steering system is still a bit whizzo though - it varies the steering transmission ratio electronically in direct relation to the style and speed of driving and road conditions. Under normal road conditions at low and medium speeds, the steering becomes more direct, requiring less steering effort of the driver (i.e. turns of the steering wheel), increasing the car’s agility in, say, city traffic or when parking. At high speeds the steering becomes less direct offering improved directional stability. When cornering at high speeds, or when undertaking sudden movements, the steering stiffens up by monitoring increases in the yaw rate.

The system is networked to the Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) electronic driver aid and reduces DSC interventions, thereby offering more control to the driver and increased comfort for passengers.

The toy that will definitely catch on with other manufacturers is the Brake Force Display. This enlarges the brake light area when the driver brakes sharply. This technology uses Light Emitting Diode (LED) technology and offers that extra split second for the driver behind to react to heavy braking ahead. This technology awaits homologation in the EU, but once introduced only requires activation of the software already installed in the 5 Series.

Styling is progressive rather than revolutionary although the styling does seem to have lost some of the rotund presence that made the current five series such a success - mimicking those that drove it. The slimline waist on the new model may miss the mark with those that prefer bacon to Special K.

Jim O’Donnell, BMW Great Britain’s Managing Director said: "The new BMW 5 Series is incredibly important to us." and then went on to say other stuff.

The car will be launched in the UK in September.

Links: www.bmw.co.uk, BMW Links, BMW Owners

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Discussion

Olly2000

Original Poster:

291 posts

276 months

Tuesday 1st April 2003
quotequote all
Sigh. I wish this review was an april fools joke.