Cheating wife - what to do?

Cheating wife - what to do?

Author
Discussion

Welshbeef

49,633 posts

182 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
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You CPUs ask her if she fancies a threesome with that guy. She nay be well up fr a bit of that.

cal216610

7,837 posts

154 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
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Welshbeef said:
You CPUs ask her if she fancies a threesome with that guy. She nay be well up fr a bit of that.
Is it me, or have you been drinking?

andy-xr

13,204 posts

188 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
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Sounds like a bit of iPad interference going on!

King Herald

23,501 posts

200 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
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Oakey said:
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?

the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?

his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.

VX Foxy

3,962 posts

227 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
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King Herald said:
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.
Nicely summarised.

King Herald

23,501 posts

200 months

Tuesday 4th October 2011
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hora said:
King Herald said:
Oakey said:
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?

the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?

his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.
Thats a troll. I don't believe it- got a link to the thread? I can't find 'I have no self esteem and like hiding in a cupboard peaking out' anywhere on PH
I can't be bothered trawling for it, but it was a genuine thread, the guy started off telling us how he knew these two guys, knew where they lived, and wanted to go and sort them out.....

And that was even before he had mentioned the wife and her sperm-bank night-safe activities.

Oakey

26,852 posts

200 months

Tuesday 4th October 2011
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he asked the mods to delete it after people worked out who he was and looked him and his wife up on facebook and saw what all involved looked like

Steffan

10,362 posts

212 months

Wednesday 5th October 2011
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Some blokes will put up with virtually anything to stay in a relationship, if it can be called that.

So do some women.

Entirely their choice. Not my choice. Not my call.

Up to the OP though quite how he squares the topic wording I do not know.

justayellowbadge

37,057 posts

226 months

Wednesday 5th October 2011
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hora said:
If I was caught cheating theres no way I'd let my partner think it was in part their fault.

I think I'll leave it at that. Speaks volumes.
You mean you'd insist she accepted total responsibility?

Harsh, but it could work, I suppose..

Wish

1,074 posts

233 months

Sunday 6th October 2013
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Any update?
Did you manage to patch things up and move on ?

kind dilbert

217 posts

114 months

Sunday 6th October 2013
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hammer some frozen sausages into his lawn.

ferrisbueller

28,256 posts

211 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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kind dilbert said:
hammer some frozen sausages into his lawn.
Erm.

Agrilla

834 posts

167 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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Wish said:
Any update?
Did you manage to patch things up and move on ?
HERE

Justices

3,675 posts

148 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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justayellowbadge said:
hora said:
If I was caught cheating theres no way I'd let my partner think it was in part their fault.

I think I'll leave it at that. Speaks volumes.
You mean you'd insist she accepted total responsibility?

Harsh, but it could work, I suppose..
hehe

Things like this can be worked out if there is a genuine desire from both sides. Bringing the other villain to your house would be too much for most to get over however. Quite amazed you are not featuring in a "Man levels house over cheating spouse" headline. Good on you!

stuttgartmetal

8,081 posts

200 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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stuttgartmetal said:
Listen.

An affair doesn't happen in a marriage unless there's something wrong with it. Full stop.

Relationships are cycles. Sometimes the cycle is so long, it doesn't repeat itself, happy marriages.

Sometimes the cycle, in my case 7 years, and each time it repeats and repeats itself. In my case, cycle number 3.
You repair the marriage, but you cycle back to the end/beginning again.
Its important you recognise that. Some relationships are just not worth banging on with. It was always me that did the talking, and offered the change. I always felt guilty, she always thought she was right.
Thats Passive Aggressive for you. Wikipedia it. It'll completely open your eyes.

You may well forgive her, and deep down you will believe what you're doing is right, and how good and modern and loving and perfect you are for her, and how she'll see that and recognise that and will never ever ever turn you over but however in reality,she will, your relationship is over.
If she gave a flying f ck about you, she wouldn't have done it. Stop blaming yourself.

In a case of a big relationship breakdown, or divorce, you go through severaL stages. it's exactly like bereavement.
Denial, thats the first step. Deny it all.Its not happening.
Bargaining. Thats where you are Fella. You've bargained your way out of it, because the reality of splitting up is so huge, and the one being f cked over has feelings of rejection, and loss. You'll do everything to get her back, so your life will be the same. Anything. Any f cking thing.

I know, Ive been there.

In the next two years she'll be positionong herself to take you for the f cking lot, and I hesitate to add...you f cking mug. [sorry Fella]
Bit of straight talk.
You'll be able to tell easily when your Wife is lying when she talks to you.
You see her lips move.

Insist on a break, and either move out, which means you'll lose control, or get her to fo quick.

Your marriage is over, there's no way back, so move it on, don't kid youself 2 years down the road you bump this thread.
Two years down the road, unless you wise up, you'll be living in a f cking shop doorway with the methers. PH wil;l be the last thing on your mind.

Wise up
Forget any revenge, just secure your money, and switch her off.
There's no point in confronting her, just move on, or be f cked.

How's that for straight talk?
Two years later, you're still living the same life.
Heaped on even more grief, it sort of reminds me of when Arnie Rimmer turns up on the beach, the afternoon he's playing better than life, with six kids in a morris traveller estate..

Your a glutton for it fella.

Life's not meant to be like this....


TheTurbonator

2,792 posts

135 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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ferrisbueller said:
kind dilbert said:
hammer some frozen sausages into his lawn.
Erm.
laugh

broken biscuit

Original Poster:

1,633 posts

185 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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Wish said:
Any update?
Did you manage to patch things up and move on ?
Wow - thread resurrection!

To put a final and closing update on this one - we are still together, and have 3 beautiful children, all of which are 100% mine. It had its moments along the way, including me moving out and living with friends for 3 months. We have grown nothing but closer and life is fantastic (apart from the child-related sleep deprivation!). Sometimes (rarely) I look back and wonder what if I had walked away, then I look at what I have and how different it could have been, and know I made the right call.

ShyTallKnight

2,145 posts

197 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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Glad it's worked out for you OP and wishing you all the best for the future.

julian64

13,758 posts

238 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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Cheating is not illegal. Does anyone want to consider why it isn't illegal?


I think if a few of you considered this you wouldn't keep posting such rubbish about stockholm sydrome, or where the fault lies.

Truth is that the least useful thing that can happen in a relationship is to apportion blame. Both parties are capable of walking at any time, and the only thing that keeps a relationship together is that both want to stay together. Each person has to make that decision for themselves. The op has come to understand this.

By apportioning blame it turns into a parent child relationship, and it is that which tends to lead to the cyclical behaviour because anyone being treated like a child for long enough will finally start acting like one.

I really don't understand why anyone posts on here for relationship advice. The quality of advice is at the level of the local schoolyard.

iphonedyou

8,577 posts

141 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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julian64 said:
Cheating is not illegal. Does anyone want to consider why it isn't illegal?


I think if a few of you considered this you wouldn't keep posting such rubbish about stockholm sydrome, or where the fault lies.

Truth is that the least useful thing that can happen in a relationship is to apportion blame. Both parties are capable of walking at any time, and the only thing that keeps a relationship together is that both want to stay together. Each person has to make that decision for themselves. The op has come to understand this.

By apportioning blame it turns into a parent child relationship, and it is that which tends to lead to the cyclical behaviour because anyone being treated like a child for long enough will finally start acting like one.

I really don't understand why anyone posts on here for relationship advice. The quality of advice is at the level of the local schoolyard.
Especially the 'organise your money - now' lot (special mention to hornetrider here), and those pathologically incapable of apportioning any blame whatsoever to anybody with a willy.

It's sad.