Discussion
Agoogy said:
The relationship is dead.
Don't try and bring upn your child in a crap relationship...they're better of with seperate happy parents (IMO).
Next step is mediation to organise the split and who gets what.
Very sorry to hear of your situation.... increasingly common...
What boils my piss is that depsite the fact the woman has had the affair, she will get the better deal at the end...
edit - what Dusty said - very true.
Don't try and bring upn your child in a crap relationship...they're better of with seperate happy parents (IMO).
Next step is mediation to organise the split and who gets what.
Very sorry to hear of your situation.... increasingly common...
What boils my piss is that depsite the fact the woman has had the affair, she will get the better deal at the end...
edit - what Dusty said - very true.
Dusty964 said:
When the trust goes, it goes for good, and its not coming back.
Which gives you the rest of your life to consider that when she is not at home, or stays out late, or you cant get hold of her on her mobile, the nagging doubt that she is on all fours being rattled vigerously by derek from accounts (or anyone else for that matter).
At which point you will wish that you ended the whole thing years earlier, and got on with life with someone worth being with (ie not the one who took a length off a mate)
This ^^. From experience. She'll do it again, a leopard never changes its spots. Was hard having my 2 kids move out with her but I got past it and now I couldnt be happier. Fortunately we now get along and I see them as much as I want to.Which gives you the rest of your life to consider that when she is not at home, or stays out late, or you cant get hold of her on her mobile, the nagging doubt that she is on all fours being rattled vigerously by derek from accounts (or anyone else for that matter).
At which point you will wish that you ended the whole thing years earlier, and got on with life with someone worth being with (ie not the one who took a length off a mate)
irf said:
so in summary.
husband is inattentive, working all hours, is grumpy and moody, wife cheats with a work colleague of the husband, husband is to blame and has apologised for his behaviour and promises to do better?
something not quite right there.
It is the working mans version of the 'Stockholm syndrome' I think. husband is inattentive, working all hours, is grumpy and moody, wife cheats with a work colleague of the husband, husband is to blame and has apologised for his behaviour and promises to do better?
something not quite right there.
"In psychology, Stockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a real paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness"
I see where the op is coming from. He could have been the cause of why she cheated and its good he can see that and correct it.
He also has a point about not wanting to hear her complaints within the relationship.
I would say given present and past he is doing the right thing hard as it may be.
He also has a point about not wanting to hear her complaints within the relationship.
I would say given present and past he is doing the right thing hard as it may be.
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Oakey said:
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?
the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?
his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?
his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
hora said:
King Herald said:
Oakey said:
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?
the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?
his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?
his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
And that was even before he had mentioned the wife and her sperm-bank night-safe activities.
justayellowbadge said:
hora said:
If I was caught cheating theres no way I'd let my partner think it was in part their fault.
I think I'll leave it at that. Speaks volumes.
You mean you'd insist she accepted total responsibility? I think I'll leave it at that. Speaks volumes.
Harsh, but it could work, I suppose..
Things like this can be worked out if there is a genuine desire from both sides. Bringing the other villain to your house would be too much for most to get over however. Quite amazed you are not featuring in a "Man levels house over cheating spouse" headline. Good on you!
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