Has anyone used a private detective?
Discussion
Well there we go, I've just read this thread over the last couple of days.
And wow.
You sir, are a credit to yourself and your children. The strength of character you have shown, not only in how you've dealt with it, but also how you've maintained the outlook you have, is just beyond words.
I hope you find happiness. Whether that's in someone, something, or just in life, I hope you find it.
Just to balance this out with something personal. A happy marriage can exist, and a long marriage can exist. Based on my parents' 43years of marriage together, it's not always perfectly happy, but there was always love. Sadly my Mum passed away on the 3rd November 2015. Love is an incredible, but tough old beast at times.
All the best for the future ABD.
And wow.
You sir, are a credit to yourself and your children. The strength of character you have shown, not only in how you've dealt with it, but also how you've maintained the outlook you have, is just beyond words.
I hope you find happiness. Whether that's in someone, something, or just in life, I hope you find it.
Just to balance this out with something personal. A happy marriage can exist, and a long marriage can exist. Based on my parents' 43years of marriage together, it's not always perfectly happy, but there was always love. Sadly my Mum passed away on the 3rd November 2015. Love is an incredible, but tough old beast at times.
All the best for the future ABD.
That's very kind and thanks for the good wishes but I was lucky enough to have good advice from friends, family (and PH!) which kept me level headed. I think most people would have behaved the same as me given the support I had.
My new friend is on her way over to visit, apparently she has packed her toothbrush ;-)
My new friend is on her way over to visit, apparently she has packed her toothbrush ;-)
Time for a bit of an update.
The short version is that things are going very well. I'm still seeing the woman I met in December and she's just great. Obviously I'm extremely sensitive to strange behaviour but more than three months in and there has been absolutely no sign of it (from her, anyway
).
She's now met my family and I've met hers - they are a really nice bunch. She's also met and spent time with my children which I know I said I didn't think I'd ever do but it seemed like the most normal thing in the world and it went brilliantly - in fact she and my Daughter are baking a cake together tomorrow :-).
I told X about C (C being new lady) and that I was going to introduce her to the kids and she predictably went apes
t. She actually asked if C was younger and prettier than her (which of course she is ;-)) and when the kids did meet her she accused them of taking C's "side" over her 
. This is someone who introduced her new man to the kids without telling me having said she wouldn't, who got engaged to him and didn't tell the kids what that meant for them, and who is supposed to be getting married again later this year despite not having submitted the divorce paperwork yet. I was fed up with this childish stupid behaviour, especially as she was dragging the kids into it and I bked her. She's been OK since then and admitted that she reacted badly but I'm sure there is more insanity around the corner. I don't think about her much now though, I've got other things on my mind 
.
The children are great and my relationship with them is better than ever. We do a lot of fun stuff together as well as the "must do" stuff like homework, uniforms, etc. I have to work very hard on my logistics now as I still have a fairly demanding job, the children half the week and a new girlfriend but it all seems very much worth it
I keep updating this thread now partly in the hope that all the other people going through the same thing but struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel will know that things can and do get better. I've had some very, very dark times over the last 3 and a half years (and well before that actually) but now I can honestly say that my life is great, and getting better every day. Thanks again for all the good advice over the course of this thread and to those still struggling, hang in there folks
The short version is that things are going very well. I'm still seeing the woman I met in December and she's just great. Obviously I'm extremely sensitive to strange behaviour but more than three months in and there has been absolutely no sign of it (from her, anyway
).She's now met my family and I've met hers - they are a really nice bunch. She's also met and spent time with my children which I know I said I didn't think I'd ever do but it seemed like the most normal thing in the world and it went brilliantly - in fact she and my Daughter are baking a cake together tomorrow :-).
I told X about C (C being new lady) and that I was going to introduce her to the kids and she predictably went apes
t. She actually asked if C was younger and prettier than her (which of course she is ;-)) and when the kids did meet her she accused them of taking C's "side" over her . This is someone who introduced her new man to the kids without telling me having said she wouldn't, who got engaged to him and didn't tell the kids what that meant for them, and who is supposed to be getting married again later this year despite not having submitted the divorce paperwork yet. I was fed up with this childish stupid behaviour, especially as she was dragging the kids into it and I bked her. She's been OK since then and admitted that she reacted badly but I'm sure there is more insanity around the corner. I don't think about her much now though, I've got other things on my mind .The children are great and my relationship with them is better than ever. We do a lot of fun stuff together as well as the "must do" stuff like homework, uniforms, etc. I have to work very hard on my logistics now as I still have a fairly demanding job, the children half the week and a new girlfriend but it all seems very much worth it
I keep updating this thread now partly in the hope that all the other people going through the same thing but struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel will know that things can and do get better. I've had some very, very dark times over the last 3 and a half years (and well before that actually) but now I can honestly say that my life is great, and getting better every day. Thanks again for all the good advice over the course of this thread and to those still struggling, hang in there folks
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