Vauxhall VXR8: You Know You Want To

A VXR8 is now down to the price of an E39 BMW M5. But which would you choose?

Let's indulge in a spot of escapism, shall we? You've got 15 large to spend on a V8 super saloon, right now. What do you go for?

Get out of the way. Now

Instinct, not to mention long-time lust, drive you in the direction of an E39 BMW M5 - so often given the moniker of 'the best car in the world' by those in the know.

There are, of course, Mercedes-badged options too; the E63 AMG, for example, equipped with that glorious 6.2-litre lump, or how about a slightly leggy CLS63, if you're feeling brave and raffish?

Or how about a Vauxhall? To the uninitiated this would, of course, be a non-sequitur. But you, dear PHer, are correct in thinking that we're about to segue seamlessly and entirely without contrivance into the point of this missive, which is the fact that the Vauxhall VXR8 - the Monaro's more-door successor - is now available for this relatively lowly budget.

So, which do you choose? The BMW or the Merc sound like they're going to walk this one, endowed as they are with German build quality, ounces more prestige, and a depreciation trajectory which is currently facing the right direction. But hold your proverbial horses for just a moment, because the Vauxhall has a few tricks up its sleeve.

Big, comfy, loud, silly

For one thing, it's a sight newer than either of the 'bahn-storming old guard. As a result, you benefit from more up-to-date toys - note the full colour infotainment system and dual-zone climate control - and the promise of better safety gear - well, it's a family car, after all. Then there's the fact that big, lazy V8 is considerably less stressed, and the whole car cheaper to maintain and repair, than the notoriously finicky Germans.

And finally... well, just look at the thing. Pretty it ain't, but if you want your fellow motorists to be in no uncertain terms about the size of your bore and stroke, there's little else to match it. Sounds pretty brutal, too - especially with the optional Walkinshaw exhaust fitted to this one.

The dealer seems to have gotten a little confused by the mileage when writing the ad, citing "83,000 miles from new", before pointing out that the last service was at 91K. Let's assume it's somewhere around there, and probably less than 100K, which puts the mileage below average, though only just. That's the price you pay, of course, for buying the cheapest VXR8 in the country (at the time of writing, that is). But frankly, you're not buying any of the older German cars with any less miles for this sort of cash. And either way, at least the VXR8 has a lovely full history, which suggests it's been well looked-after.

Big, in every sense of the word

What it really comes down to, then, is what you actually want from your thumping great V8. Do you want tasteful discretion, peerless build quality, finely balanced handling and a mountain of heritage? Or would you rather in-your-face looks, a hilariously shouty exhaust note, balls-out tail happiness, and the ability to lay elevens at the drop of a hat?

The former seems like the obvious option; the safe and sensible choice. But should cars like this really be sensible? Probably not. Which is why we'll take the Vauxhall, a cork hat and an inflatable crocodile, and once we've had some fun shredding some rubber, we'll meet you later for a barbie and a few tinnies. And, er, maybe a few more lazy Antipodean stereotypes. No worries!

VAUXHALL VXR8
Price: £14,995
Why you would: Big, fast, silly, cheap, and mad as a meat-axe.
Why you wouldn't: About as classy as a two-pot screamer

See the original advert here.

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